This was originally posted on the humor thread, by MJ412. It's the very funniest thing that I've read in weeks. That said, I admit that I have five cats, all completely spoiled.
HOW TO SHAMPOO THE CAT:
1. THOROUGHLY CLEAN THE TOILET.
2. LIFT THE LID AND ADD SHAMPOO.
3. FIND AND SOOTHE CAT AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE BATHROOM.
4. IN ONE SWIFT MOVE, PLACE CAT IN THE TOILET, CLOSE THE LID AND STAND ON TOP SO CAT CANNOT ESCAPE.
5. THE CAT WILL SELF-AGITATE AND PRODUCE AMPLE SUDS. (IGNORE RUCKUS FROM INSIDE TOILET, CAT IS ENJOYING THIS.)
6. FLUSH TOILET THREE OF FOUR TIMES. THIS PROVIDES A POWER RINSE, WHICH IS QUITE EFFECTIVE.
7. STAND AS FAR FROM TOILET AS POSSIBLE AND QUICKLY LIFT THE LID.
8. CLEAN CAT WILL ROCKET OUT OF THE TOILET AND OUTDOORS, WHERE IT WILL AIR DRY.
...and I tried the cat bath thing... bad results... at first there was a big ruckus... then when I did the power rinse flush... not more ruckus... I was puzzled... nobody told me not to do it with a kitten! :(--> :D-->
... I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between...
I guess it wouldn't be a good idea to dry the cat in the microwave,either....Although you could tie his collar to one of the blades on the ceiling fan and turn it on 'high'....
Sweetsister, I guess the important thing is whether you think it.
Notfernuthinbut, I found that sliding-scale counselling was a very big help to me after TWI. It just plain helped to talk with somebody who was trained to know what to listen for, and lead me in a direction that was healthy for me.
Personally, I think you're grand. Very nice, always try to pick up folks when they're hurting, and very funny (in a mwah sort of way). I think we all have "moments," good and bad. Yes, we may have problems.
In the safety in multitude of counselors department (even though I'm only one more person for encouraging), niKa's insight is right on the money all the way around in that last post.
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Rocky
Never have bought anything from QVC or HSN/C... what a wonderful bunch of kids you have there... and the oldest must be incredibly smart, going to the University of Chicago! :)
Rocky
[quote name=notinKansasanymore' date='29 July 2009 - 11:15 AM' ti mestamp='1248891304' post='471939] And speaking of Cash for Clunkers (see, I told you it's impossible to derail),there is no longer
Rocky
Oh... (((((((Karmicdebt))))))), I'm SOOOOOO sorry. It is most understandable that you would feel that way.
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tomtuttle
Ild rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lombotomy. But as for me and my whorehouse, ...
What do you call 10 Iraqi women in a bar??
Scud attack ...
And I didn't write the book!!!
If you don't like it, complain to the mgmt ...
Exie, you are two of a kind, my boo-sum sister!!!
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Tom Strange
weeeeeelllll.... lookie who we have here....
our brother in revelation has decided to grace us with his presence.... where ya been buddy boy...???? out tending to the flock???
... I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between...
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MillionsNowSmoking
to quote Perry Ferrell:
"...and I'm going 'bout my business...and I'm wonderin' what I'm missin'.."
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notinKansasanymore
Uncle Dan has gone to his reward.
He isn't hurting any more.
Thanks, you guys, for your sweet prayers. This semester has just stunk, and I'm delighted that it's almost finished.
Thanks for being here.
Anybody got a joke? (I mean no disrespect by this, but . . . anybody got a joke better than that scud thing?)
"Live just, and fear not."
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Rocky
What do ya get when you cross a penis and a potato?
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Rocky
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a Dictator!
;)-->
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simonzelotes
My condolences to you and your family Nika...
Spring is coming....
Tom,you lucky dog...when you get to Pebble Beach keep your head down,bend your knees and address the ball....Hellllooooo ball(Ed Norton,sewer worker)
Oh,yeah,the whorehouse....The guy leaving...He's Finnish(ed)
The guy on his way there....He's Russian...
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Rocky
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs at the door?
Matt.
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simonzelotes
What do you call him in a jacuzzi?
Stu.
What do you call him in the infield?
Second base.
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mstar1
What do you call him on the wall?
Art
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excathedra
what do you call him in the ocean ?
bob
♥
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excathedra
ohhhhh nika i'm sorry. i'm glad he is not suffering anymore, but i'm so sad for your family. i pray the holidays aren't too tough for everyone.
love you, dear nika.
♥
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tomtuttle
My condolences also, sis Nika. One day ...
... and what do you call him on the ground in the leaves??
Russell (not Coleman, who has someone he wants to lift) ...
... and when he is water skiing???
Skip. Maybe when he's doing a bar-b-que he's Mesquite ...
Did you hear about the Polish lesbian, Simonion???
She had a thing for men.
Wouldn't it be sumpthin if we had a ministry to lesbians, to heal them of their afflictions???
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notinKansasanymore
You guys are the best.
"Live just, and fear not."
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notinKansasanymore
This was originally posted on the humor thread, by MJ412. It's the very funniest thing that I've read in weeks. That said, I admit that I have five cats, all completely spoiled.
HOW TO SHAMPOO THE CAT:
1. THOROUGHLY CLEAN THE TOILET.
2. LIFT THE LID AND ADD SHAMPOO.
3. FIND AND SOOTHE CAT AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE BATHROOM.
4. IN ONE SWIFT MOVE, PLACE CAT IN THE TOILET, CLOSE THE LID AND STAND ON TOP SO CAT CANNOT ESCAPE.
5. THE CAT WILL SELF-AGITATE AND PRODUCE AMPLE SUDS. (IGNORE RUCKUS FROM INSIDE TOILET, CAT IS ENJOYING THIS.)
6. FLUSH TOILET THREE OF FOUR TIMES. THIS PROVIDES A POWER RINSE, WHICH IS QUITE EFFECTIVE.
7. STAND AS FAR FROM TOILET AS POSSIBLE AND QUICKLY LIFT THE LID.
8. CLEAN CAT WILL ROCKET OUT OF THE TOILET AND OUTDOORS, WHERE IT WILL AIR DRY.
SINCERELY,
THE DOG
"Live just, and fear not."
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Tom Strange
(((seestor niKa)))
Peace to you and yours.
...and I tried the cat bath thing... bad results... at first there was a big ruckus... then when I did the power rinse flush... not more ruckus... I was puzzled... nobody told me not to do it with a kitten!
:(--> 
:D-->
... I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between...
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notinKansasanymore
eeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuw.
"Live just, and fear not."
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Tom Strange
I thought you'd like that one dear seestor...
what part of a fish weighs the most?
... I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between...
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simonzelotes
Uhhh....the heaviest part?
I guess it wouldn't be a good idea to dry the cat in the microwave,either....Although you could tie his collar to one of the blades on the ceiling fan and turn it on 'high'....
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Tom Strange
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the scales!
... I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between...
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excathedra
sad person here (for the moment)
doing my a$$hole thing upstairs
do you think i have a problen ?
♥
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notinKansasanymore
Sweetsister, I guess the important thing is whether you think it.
Notfernuthinbut, I found that sliding-scale counselling was a very big help to me after TWI. It just plain helped to talk with somebody who was trained to know what to listen for, and lead me in a direction that was healthy for me.
Personally, I think you're grand. Very nice, always try to pick up folks when they're hurting, and very funny (in a mwah sort of way). I think we all have "moments," good and bad. Yes, we may have problems.
We've earned them, haven't we?
"Live just, and fear not."
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excathedra
thanks dearest nikeeeeee love you
♥
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Rocky
In the safety in multitude of counselors department (even though I'm only one more person for encouraging), niKa's insight is right on the money all the way around in that last post.
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