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How can a pregnant woman tell she's carrying a future lawyer?

.

.

.

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She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney,

How does an attorney sleep?

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.

.

.

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

icon_biggrin.gif:D--> You talkin to me?

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Thanks! We did have a bit of weather, but didn't have to make a run for the basement, or anything. All of the school busses in town were held at the schools, with the children who ride them still in their classrooms, because the district didn't want full busses on the streets in case anything happened. They held all of the children for more than an hour that way, until the cells had passed over.

It was kind of serious, but in the end, not.

In this area, it can go either way, so it's good to be cautious.

Since I pick up my children from school, all it meant for us is that we didn't make our planned trip to Walmart, but came home instead, so as to be nearer the aforementioned basement.

"Live just, and fear not."

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I still haven't heard all of the damage reports yet... but we mostly had the straight line winds and horizontal rain and lots o lightening... you know... the usual... but they did have the warnings out (you know that means they're around) for the entire area for a while...

looks like spring is here...

She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.

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I know this is long (forgive me)...I think I got most of these right...

Redneck Engineering Exam

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?

9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?

She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.

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Rocketman... your jokes about lawyers certainly seem to be on a particular 'slant'... I thought I read somewhere that you're thinking about going back to school to become one? or was that "the voices"...?

She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.

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you are correct sir.

I got the jokes by email. They are funny anyway.

My experience in family court and regarding homeowners' association issues both makes it so I can relate to the attitude toward lawyers and at the same time still figure that's the direction I need to go.

I've been telling people for years that if I won the lottery, I would go to law school.

Well, it's looking like I might have a way to make that happen. I wouldn't be able to start before fall 2005, however.

icon_biggrin.gif:D--> You talkin to me?

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I really love The History Channel... well, not love maybe, but I like it a whole lot...

now... back to our regularly scheduled foolishness... where are the other brethren and sistern? why are they not here with us for this feelowsheep? do they have lives?

She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.

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Too bad! You missed the kids killing another television with squirt guns (peripheral fire during a heated battle; they weren't aiming for the TV) (we won't be hiring THAT babysitter again).

It was resurrected with a blowdryer. I had a little talk with my son. "This is the second television you've killed, and you're only seven." Even he saw the point.

He's so much like my Dad that it's uncanny.

You could have gone to see The Passion of the Christ with us, but we had to buy tickets several days in advance. The theatre was so quiet when we walked in, that I was shocked to look up and find that there were almost no more seats together; it was a sold-out house.

E-mail and let me know when you'll be in town the next time, okay? We'd love to see you.

"Live just, and fear not."

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