The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.
A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town's people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting... "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly the hypnotist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor...
A salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse...He then glances toward the barn and sees a farmer committing unnatural acts with a sheep..When a young man answers the door he says "You know there's a guy out by your barn having sex with one of your sheep?"..."I know" the young man says,"That's my da-a-a-a-a-ad"....
No dribbling here, Ex. Just a tad bit of raw seepage. No worries though. The Doc Vic says to keep some salve on it, it'll clear up ...
I'm believing for the 7th corps gathering together to be the best, even though all of us were not invited. If they thirst, let's heap upon them coals of fire, as it were a rushing, mighty wind.
So good for our own swollenlipper to rejoin us in this our day and our tread. Welcome home, son. Sit thou here and let me fetch for thee the fairest lamb, that thou mayest be ravaged, and PROVE me now herewith, saith the lord of toasts, if I shall not open to you the doors of the barn, and bring forth unto thee the fairest of all the sheep of my kingdom. (Bill) Naaaay.
a lady walks into a bar with her tiny chihuahua. she sits down next to a drunk guy who seems kinda queasy. after a few minutes the drunk looks at her and barfs. then he looks down and sees the little dog struggling in the pool of vomit. "whoa man i don't remember eating that!"
Well,thank you Nika for your loving reproof and correction...We of the 9th corpse have to edify one another and bear one another's burdens and stick together and when one suffers we all suffer and when one rejoices we all rejoice....Let me add,though,it was all Fellowweiner's fault...I'll stop telling sheep jokes,too;after all,Christ was the Lamb of God,which taketh away the sins of the world...Holy Holy Holy Lord God of Hosts...Heaven and earth are filled with your glory Hosanna in the Highest...Dominos vu bisquum....Et qum spiri tutuo...
Truth on the lips of a jackass worked in the old testament.
... rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the Truth... Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.
Truth is, yellowdripper speaketh not with forked tongue, as white man speaketh, but, in contrast, speaketh as he is shoved around by the pneuma, the hagion.
And now abideth John, Hope, Simon, these four. But the greatest of these is MissEx ...
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
1045
1279
802
950
Popular Days
Jun 25
90
Sep 5
37
Apr 8
24
Sep 22
22
Top Posters In This Topic
notinKansasanymore 1,045 posts
excathedra 1,279 posts
simonzelotes 802 posts
Tom Strange 950 posts
Popular Days
Jun 25 2003
90 posts
Sep 5 2003
37 posts
Apr 8 2004
24 posts
Sep 22 2003
22 posts
Popular Posts
Rocky
Never have bought anything from QVC or HSN/C... what a wonderful bunch of kids you have there... and the oldest must be incredibly smart, going to the University of Chicago! :)
Rocky
[quote name=notinKansasanymore' date='29 July 2009 - 11:15 AM' ti mestamp='1248891304' post='471939] And speaking of Cash for Clunkers (see, I told you it's impossible to derail),there is no longer
Rocky
Oh... (((((((Karmicdebt))))))), I'm SOOOOOO sorry. It is most understandable that you would feel that way.
Posted Images
excathedra
born of corruptible seed
**
The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.
A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town's people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting... "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly the hypnotist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor...
"S h i t" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the town hall.
♥
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
a guy in new zealand is walking along carrying sheep under each arm
a guy says to him "are you sheerin' mate?"
he says "no they're all mine"
(teddy you're dribbling)
♥
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
you should all be ashamed of yourselves!
you know who you are!
the rest of you, carry on the plan of the day...
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
Calling in sick
Employee....."I'm sorry but I can't come in today..
My doctor says I suffer from Anal Glaucoma."
Boss........"Anal Glaucoma? What's that?"
Employee...."I just can't see my a$$ coming to work!"
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
[This message was edited by Tom Strange on March 01, 2004 at 12:23.]
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
fellowshipper
Do you know what you call a gaywad on a skateboard. Rollaids.
I once heard that Rock Hudson was born in Indiana but reared in California. I need some clarification here.
I will probably be banned but do you know what AIDS stands for? Either an A$$ Injected Death Sentence or Another Infected -ick Sucker.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
simonzelotes
A salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse...He then glances toward the barn and sees a farmer committing unnatural acts with a sheep..When a young man answers the door he says "You know there's a guy out by your barn having sex with one of your sheep?"..."I know" the young man says,"That's my da-a-a-a-a-ad"....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
bad feelowsheeper, bad... please go to the barn and do 20 he11 marys and 30 our fathers...
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
fellowshipper
Gee tom Strange I already did and for some reason it did not fix my guilt.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
tomtuttle
No dribbling here, Ex. Just a tad bit of raw seepage. No worries though. The Doc Vic says to keep some salve on it, it'll clear up ...
I'm believing for the 7th corps gathering together to be the best, even though all of us were not invited. If they thirst, let's heap upon them coals of fire, as it were a rushing, mighty wind.
So good for our own swollenlipper to rejoin us in this our day and our tread. Welcome home, son. Sit thou here and let me fetch for thee the fairest lamb, that thou mayest be ravaged, and PROVE me now herewith, saith the lord of toasts, if I shall not open to you the doors of the barn, and bring forth unto thee the fairest of all the sheep of my kingdom. (Bill) Naaaay.
Where is Simon Hunsucker??
Link to comment
Share on other sites
notinKansasanymore
I keep checking in to see whether you guys are done with all of the gay jokes. Can you be done, please?
-->
"Live just, and fear not."
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
did you hear the joke about the roof ?
never mind, it's over your head
♥
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
a lady walks into a bar with her tiny chihuahua. she sits down next to a drunk guy who seems kinda queasy. after a few minutes the drunk looks at her and barfs. then he looks down and sees the little dog struggling in the pool of vomit. "whoa man i don't remember eating that!"
♥
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rocky
yo quiero taco bell!
:D--> You talkin to me?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
tomtuttle
Now i lay me down to sleep ...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
I'm not tired, just want some sheep...
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
igotout
Stop Abortions!!
John R.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
oooh! hegotHope... you're gonna be in big trouble for that one!
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
simonzelotes
Well,thank you Nika for your loving reproof and correction...We of the 9th corpse have to edify one another and bear one another's burdens and stick together and when one suffers we all suffer and when one rejoices we all rejoice....Let me add,though,it was all Fellowweiner's fault...I'll stop telling sheep jokes,too;after all,Christ was the Lamb of God,which taketh away the sins of the world...Holy Holy Holy Lord God of Hosts...Heaven and earth are filled with your glory Hosanna in the Highest...Dominos vu bisquum....Et qum spiri tutuo...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
simon, you had to mention tutus.... shame on you
i am so very very thankful for
doctrine (right believing)
reproof (showing us where we are off)
correction (bringing us back to right believing)
do you believe i get that right ?
i haven't taken my memory pill yet
♥
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rocky
Thank you Excie for taking such an important stand for truth!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
:D--> You talkin to me?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
tomtuttle
Yes, the Truth... Thank you Sexie.
Truth on the lips of a jackass worked in the old testament.
... rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the Truth... Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.
Truth is, yellowdripper speaketh not with forked tongue, as white man speaketh, but, in contrast, speaketh as he is shoved around by the pneuma, the hagion.
And now abideth John, Hope, Simon, these four. But the greatest of these is MissEx ...
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
Rocky
What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SKEET!
:D--> You talkin to me?
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
Rocky
niKa,
13 new inches of snow at Summerhaven (Mt. Lemmon) last night!
.
.
.
.
.
.
:D--> You talkin to me?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ItsStillTheWord
What does a person in church have in common
with a person takin a bath?
One has hope in their soul,
the other has soap in their...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.