When me & one of my maany, maany wives first "got together", it was shocking, as the English would say.
I had taken off my socks, and she saw my toes, all mangled up, and said, "OMG! What happened to your toes??". I said, "Oh, I had toesalitis when I was young." She says, "You mean TONSILITIS???". I said, "No, I had TOESILITIS."
So she says, "Well, I guess you know what it was you had."...
Then, as I removed my long pants, she saw my knees, also (bullinger) banged up and scarred. So she says, "OMG!! What happened to your knees??" I responded, "Well, I also had the kneesles." She asked, "Do you mean you had the MEASLES??" I said, "No, I had the KNEESLES." So she says, "Well, I guess you know what you had."
Then, anticipating the consumation of our love, love, love, mah people, as I removed my briefs, she said, with ALL BOLDNESS, "Oh, I see you had smallcox also!!"
I don't get no respect ...
Yeah, it's nice to be able to say these things amongst the 9th corps brethren. It's good to be (clap!) home again. Take your sing along the ways and turn to number 47, What a Fellowship, What a Joy Devine.... Walter, take it away!!
[This message was edited by tomtuttle on February 27, 2004 at 9:02.]
I was thinking about getting that new operation. This is where they sever the optic nerve that connects to the rectal nerves. It is called an optorectectemy. Seems it is to keep you from having a crappy outlook on life.
one day an indian boy asks his father, "chief how i get my name? chief says, "well our custom is whenever an indian baby is born, father walks outside and names little papoose after first things he sees. over there is "sitting bull" - there is "running deer" - there is "soars like an eagle." why you ask "two dogs f ucking?"
Two blondes drove to California to visit Disneyland. When they came to the sign that said "Disneyland left", disappointed they turned around and went home.
:D-->
Telling the truth carries risk. I accept that risk.
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
Ex that is pathetic. What does an airplane and a bleached blonde have in common?? My space and private only for the answer. I have my repition to keep on this thread, so if you have itching ears I am available there.
These two little boys were returning from the playground and was stopped by the teacher at door. She said that kind of behavior will not be tolerated on school grounds by putting your arms around each other. The little tots were confused and one of them looked up and said we were only playing Army.
to bring us back to our rightful place, I offer the following...
One day a boy came walking home from school. On the way home he saw a creek. He quickly jumped in, clothes and all. When he arrived home completely soaked his dad asked, "Son what happened?"
"I jumped in that creek down the road."
"Why did you do that?"
"I dunno."
His dad was very angry and said, "If you jump in that creek again, just because, I'm gonna tan that hide - just because! Is that clear?"
"Yes dad." replies his son.
The next day, the boy came home walking from school, and sure enough when he saw that creek, he jumped right on in.
When he went home, his dad knew what had happened and asked, "Didn't I tell you not to jump in that creek again?"
"Yes dad, but Satan told me to do it!"
His dad, being somewhat religous, decided to give his son the benefit of the doubt and tells him - "Next time Satan tells you to do something like that, say 'Satan get thee behind me in the name of Jesus'."
"Ok dad." replied the son.
Well the next day after school, the boy was walking across the bridge, and well you know the rest. He came home again soaked.
His dad said, "I thought I told you what to say when you came to that creek!"
"I said what you told me dad, and when I did, Satan pushed me in!"
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
A traveling salesman is really feeling the call of mother nature when he spots an outhouse...He pulls over,opens the outhouse door and sees it already occupied by an old farmer...The farmer says "C'mon in,son,this is a two-seater"...So the salesman comes in and starts doing his business...When the farmer finishes,he starts putting on his overalls and a quarter falls out of his pocket and down the hole...The farmer looks down the hole for a second,then reaches in his wallet,pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and throws it down the hole..."What did you do that for?" asks the salesman...The farmer replied "You don't think I'm gonna stick my head down that hole just for a quarter,do you?"
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Rocky
Never have bought anything from QVC or HSN/C... what a wonderful bunch of kids you have there... and the oldest must be incredibly smart, going to the University of Chicago! :)
Rocky
[quote name=notinKansasanymore' date='29 July 2009 - 11:15 AM' ti mestamp='1248891304' post='471939] And speaking of Cash for Clunkers (see, I told you it's impossible to derail),there is no longer
Rocky
Oh... (((((((Karmicdebt))))))), I'm SOOOOOO sorry. It is most understandable that you would feel that way.
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Tom Strange
well all I have to say is
and to say hi to miss jardi and tell her don't forget to vote on my thread...
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
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Rocky
Of course we missed Ms. Jalapeno! Welcome back hot mama.
And Excie... your joke was funny. I wasn't offended.
Telling the truth carries risk. I accept that risk.
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simonzelotes
Who's Jardinero?...Oh,yeah,right.....BTW...is it pronounced hardinero,like the j in Jose,or wardinero,like the j in Juan?
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tomtuttle
How maany angels can dance on the head of a pin??
When me & one of my maany, maany wives first "got together", it was shocking, as the English would say.
I had taken off my socks, and she saw my toes, all mangled up, and said, "OMG! What happened to your toes??". I said, "Oh, I had toesalitis when I was young." She says, "You mean TONSILITIS???". I said, "No, I had TOESILITIS."
So she says, "Well, I guess you know what it was you had."...
Then, as I removed my long pants, she saw my knees, also (bullinger) banged up and scarred. So she says, "OMG!! What happened to your knees??" I responded, "Well, I also had the kneesles." She asked, "Do you mean you had the MEASLES??" I said, "No, I had the KNEESLES." So she says, "Well, I guess you know what you had."
Then, anticipating the consumation of our love, love, love, mah people, as I removed my briefs, she said, with ALL BOLDNESS, "Oh, I see you had smallcox also!!"
I don't get no respect ...
Yeah, it's nice to be able to say these things amongst the 9th corps brethren. It's good to be (clap!) home again. Take your sing along the ways and turn to number 47, What a Fellowship, What a Joy Devine.... Walter, take it away!!
[This message was edited by tomtuttle on February 27, 2004 at 9:02.]
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fellowshipper
I was thinking about getting that new operation. This is where they sever the optic nerve that connects to the rectal nerves. It is called an optorectectemy. Seems it is to keep you from having a crappy outlook on life.
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notinKansasanymore
Hi, Excathedra!
"Live just, and fear not."
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Tom Strange
sister niKa!!!!
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
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excathedra
one day an indian boy asks his father, "chief how i get my name? chief says, "well our custom is whenever an indian baby is born, father walks outside and names little papoose after first things he sees. over there is "sitting bull" - there is "running deer" - there is "soars like an eagle." why you ask "two dogs f ucking?"
john krawsowski where are you ?
♥
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jardinero
Hi Nika! It's almost spring!
Hi Ex! Love to you too!
Hola Tomas, the strange one! I voted, but just the thought of nose hairs grosses me out!
Hi Rocky. See you in chat.
Simon: Who's Jardinero? Pfffffffft! (BTW, it's pronounced "hardinero" like the j in "juan")
O.K. I'm finished now. Back to lurking mode.
J.
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fellowshipper
Ex that hurt. Being a Chicksaw indian as I am my father was referred to as cheif stinky butt from no wipee-tribe. A tear!
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excathedra
fellowshi tter you make me cry
♥
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notinKansasanymore
What kind of shoes do bananas wear?
Slippers.
What kind of shoes do mice wear?
Squeakers.
"Live just, and fear not."
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excathedra
a magician was driving down the road
then he turned into a driveway
♥
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Rocky
Two blondes drove to California to visit Disneyland. When they came to the sign that said "Disneyland left", disappointed they turned around and went home.
Telling the truth carries risk. I accept that risk.
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Tom Strange
hey! watchit there rockman!
...you mean it's still there?
I thought it was in Florida now...
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
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Linda Z
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
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excathedra
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck."
♥
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fellowshipper
Ex that is pathetic. What does an airplane and a bleached blonde have in common?? My space and private only for the answer. I have my repition to keep on this thread, so if you have itching ears I am available there.
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fellowshipper
These two little boys were returning from the playground and was stopped by the teacher at door. She said that kind of behavior will not be tolerated on school grounds by putting your arms around each other. The little tots were confused and one of them looked up and said we were only playing Army.
And we have so many many more.
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Tom Strange
to bring us back to our rightful place, I offer the following...
One day a boy came walking home from school. On the way home he saw a creek. He quickly jumped in, clothes and all. When he arrived home completely soaked his dad asked, "Son what happened?"
"I jumped in that creek down the road."
"Why did you do that?"
"I dunno."
His dad was very angry and said, "If you jump in that creek again, just because, I'm gonna tan that hide - just because! Is that clear?"
"Yes dad." replies his son.
The next day, the boy came home walking from school, and sure enough when he saw that creek, he jumped right on in.
When he went home, his dad knew what had happened and asked, "Didn't I tell you not to jump in that creek again?"
"Yes dad, but Satan told me to do it!"
His dad, being somewhat religous, decided to give his son the benefit of the doubt and tells him - "Next time Satan tells you to do something like that, say 'Satan get thee behind me in the name of Jesus'."
"Ok dad." replied the son.
Well the next day after school, the boy was walking across the bridge, and well you know the rest. He came home again soaked.
His dad said, "I thought I told you what to say when you came to that creek!"
"I said what you told me dad, and when I did, Satan pushed me in!"
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
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simonzelotes
A traveling salesman is really feeling the call of mother nature when he spots an outhouse...He pulls over,opens the outhouse door and sees it already occupied by an old farmer...The farmer says "C'mon in,son,this is a two-seater"...So the salesman comes in and starts doing his business...When the farmer finishes,he starts putting on his overalls and a quarter falls out of his pocket and down the hole...The farmer looks down the hole for a second,then reaches in his wallet,pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and throws it down the hole..."What did you do that for?" asks the salesman...The farmer replied "You don't think I'm gonna stick my head down that hole just for a quarter,do you?"
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ItsStillTheWord
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. (put a little boogie in it)
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notinKansasanymore
eeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
"Live just, and fear not."
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Rocky
Ya know what ya call two gay Bobs?
Oral Roberts!
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