I think Charlie "Tremendous" Jones retired along with Bill "Where's the compliment?" Mays,and Ernest "Come out,thou nicotene devils" Aingley,and Clarence "you're only as old as you feel" Gadfelter and E.W. "Also" Bullinger....
A guy walks into a bar with a tiny piano and a foot-tall guy that looks and plays the piano like Liberace...The bartender asks the man what's up with the little guy and the piano?...The man says "it's a long story,but the short version is,I found this old lamp on the beach,and when I rubbed it off,this old,half deaf genie came out and said he could grant me one wish..He must have misunderstood me and thought I said 'I always wished I had a 12 inch pianist'"....
in honor of my great Aunt and Uncle Maude and Claude (twins) (the names, not the joke)
Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a senior citizen's residence. They met one day in the social center, and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and she accepted.
They had a lovely evening and afterward Claude asked Maude to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink.
Things continued along a natural course and, age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the feathers.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.
Claude was thinking: If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been more gentle.
Maude was thinking: If I'd known he could still get it up, I'd have taken off my panty hose!
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Rocky
Never have bought anything from QVC or HSN/C... what a wonderful bunch of kids you have there... and the oldest must be incredibly smart, going to the University of Chicago! :)
Rocky
[quote name=notinKansasanymore' date='29 July 2009 - 11:15 AM' ti mestamp='1248891304' post='471939] And speaking of Cash for Clunkers (see, I told you it's impossible to derail),there is no longer
Rocky
Oh... (((((((Karmicdebt))))))), I'm SOOOOOO sorry. It is most understandable that you would feel that way.
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excathedra
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simonzelotes
I think Charlie "Tremendous" Jones retired along with Bill "Where's the compliment?" Mays,and Ernest "Come out,thou nicotene devils" Aingley,and Clarence "you're only as old as you feel" Gadfelter and E.W. "Also" Bullinger....
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excathedra
i want a laptop and wireless router
as far as the chair thing goes, roman catholics were born to suffer
;)-->
;)--> (sorry nika just kidding)
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notinKansasanymore
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You nique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way. You nique up on it.
"Live just, and fear not."
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Tom Strange
do you know how you can tell the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?
.
.
.
.
.
Because if it wasn't, it'd be called a teethbrush!
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
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excathedra
a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?"
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Tom Strange
hahahahaha myseestorEx! that's funny! unless you tell the joke to Sarah Jessica Parker...
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
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fellowshipper
what do you call a bird that wears glasses.
A birdwatcher. knuk knuk knuk
When my kids come in and say Dad I'm thirsty. I say really I'm Friday come over Saturday and we'll have a Sunday.
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Rocky
What time is it when you need to see a dentist?
2:30 (Tooth-hurty) nyuk snicker har har har
Telling the truth carries risk. I accept that risk.
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excathedra
joe friday ? nyuk (thanks for the spelling i love it !)
i gotta think of a joke but in the meantime mwah
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tomtuttle
What's the last thing that goes through an insect's mind as it hits your windshield??
It's arse!! (told to me by a 9 yr old girl in twig one night so maany, maany years ago...)
Tom Horrocks, please stand and have the blessing (as our rep pre sent ta tive).
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Tom Strange
Awww, I was just kidding!
so... what was it that Simontheloaded was saying?
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
[This message was edited by Tom Strange on February 26, 2004 at 12:29.]
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simonzelotes
A guy walks into a bar with a tiny piano and a foot-tall guy that looks and plays the piano like Liberace...The bartender asks the man what's up with the little guy and the piano?...The man says "it's a long story,but the short version is,I found this old lamp on the beach,and when I rubbed it off,this old,half deaf genie came out and said he could grant me one wish..He must have misunderstood me and thought I said 'I always wished I had a 12 inch pianist'"....
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excathedra
a guy walks into a bar with a sandwich on his shoulder. the bartender looks at him and says, "sorry sir but we don't serve food here."
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simonzelotes
Heard in a bar:
"My God,but you're really ugly"
"Oh,yeah,well you're really drunk.."
"Yeah,well I'll be sober in the morning.."
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Tom Strange
Ex, I'm so confused... did I already do the one about "what part of the fish weighs the most?"
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
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excathedra
i'm senile so go ahead either way
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Tom Strange
what part of the fish weighs the most
the scales!
I'm on the outside, looking inside, what do I see? Much confusion, disillusion, all around me.
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excathedra
in honor of my great Aunt and Uncle Maude and Claude (twins) (the names, not the joke)
Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a senior citizen's residence. They met one day in the social center, and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and she accepted.
They had a lovely evening and afterward Claude asked Maude to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink.
Things continued along a natural course and, age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the feathers.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.
Claude was thinking: If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been more gentle.
Maude was thinking: If I'd known he could still get it up, I'd have taken off my panty hose!
♥
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Rocky
Oh you nasty girl!
:D-->
Telling the truth carries risk. I accept that risk.
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excathedra
i know i was just thinking should i have posted that ? but i think it's okay here
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jardinero
(I thought it was funny, Ex)
Me
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jardinero
Did you all miss me? I've been gone for two weeks. I couldn't log in, but Paw just fixed it for me. Anyway, just thought I'd stop by and say hi.
Hi!
J.
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notinKansasanymore
Hi, Jardi!
"Live just, and fear not."
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