Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

Reading Others' Stories


Oakspear
 Share

Recommended Posts

On a few of the threads here on the 'My Story' Forum I've noticed posters jumping in to criticize life choices made by those who have posted their story.

This is just my opinion, but is this forum the place for that? Posting the story of your life is not the easiest thing to do. I was one of the first to do so, and man, I felt NAKED when I clicked that "Post Now" button.

You just finish baring your soul to God and Grease Spot and everybody and some clod jumps in with a comment about how you're "off the Word", or to "get back to God" in one category or another, or that something that is an integral part of you is a "shortcoming". Save your pontificating for the discussion forums, folks!

If you think homosexuality is wrong, go to one of the threads that address that subject. Don't criticize someone who didn't have to "come out of the closet" to you. If you think that turning to a mainstream church, or Buddhism or Wicca is devilish, save it for a forum that deals with that.

When I first posted my story, the disintegration of my marriage was part of the story. Some "well meaning"...well, I'll refrain from employing an adjectives...posters, saw fit to berate me for not "getting my wife back". Folks who had no real knowledge of why my marriage broke up or how much pain I was in.

If you see a sentence like this:

quote:
Hey GSers, here's my life - what do you think about it? My continuing on this path is contingent upon your collective opinion
then jump in!

With few exceptions, the critical ones don't post their stories, I've observed.

So, anyway, please exercise a little restraint and forebearance.

Edited by Oakspear
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well said, Oakspear. If I'm remembering correctly, on WayDale you couldn't even post on a "My Story" (whatever it was called there--I don't remember) thread because extwi didn't want it to become an open door for trashing the person who poured his/her personal thoughts out for all to see.

Anyone else remember that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Putting your life in word form is challanging enough. Having to put it in a public forum is stressful and makes you valnerable.

YOUR STORY forum is one of thr most theraputic tools in prosessing. It like a support group. You speak your truth and avail yourself to the folks that have had the same experiance. It is cathartic and healing. It is a place to embrace one anothers journey, not to be the critic of it.

Well said OAK.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Agreed. Also, please don't try to evangelize them and try to get them into your apple-that- didn't-fall-far-from-the-tree splinter groups just because they bared their soul and shared some very tough times they were having in their lives. It's not that easy to do and for gosh sake, if you are in one of those things, please go after fresh fodder, not us. Definition of insanity: To keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oakspear,

Thank you for your well-reasoned, compassionate and honest post, and thank you for starting this topic. Thank you also for your reply to my topic. We sat at the same table at Steve & Cindy’s wedding, and I recall you as an intelligent man, a Gentleman, in the truest definition of the term, who was a lot of fun to be with.

I know exactly what you mean when you said you felt “naked” when you clicked on the “post” button. In preparing my story for posting, I consulted with Steve & Cindy to try to judge what the response might be. I agonized over it for a fair amount of time, because, after reading “The Cult that Snapped,” I posted essentially the same “coming out” story on WayDale, and caught a fair amount of hell over it. So I just wasn’t sure how to, when, using what words, or even if.

Steve & Cindy suggested that I proceed. They noted that any negative responses would most likely be addressed by others – intervention on my part would probably be unnecessary. And they were so right!!! Grease Spot Caf?s everything that WayDale should have been, and GSC did it many generations better. And meeting you and all the others at the wedding, for me, was a little glimpse of what the Gathering ought to be.

Like you, I bared my soul in that posting. There were negative comments from some, but hey, they are entitled to their opinions. I have no argument with that. What I appreciated most was the love, the compassion, the understanding, and the downright human honesty that made up the vast majority of the replies. Everyone, (well, mostly,) made me feel right at home.

As Shellon said, you are “The Voice of Reason”.

Daryl J. Lamkey (aka ExWayDaryl)

Lives with his cat in Franklin Park, Illinois

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...