Where to begin....

[thecafegirl]

I've started this about a thousand times. Then I read Red's Bio, and was really confused and decided I try again. Apparently Red was told that she had to move out of her parent's house before she could go to fellowship because her parents were her spiritual advisors and they were on probation. I was told the complete opposite. I was living with my parents and going to a different fellowship for reasons that I don't quite understand, even though my parents were FCs. Anyway, I was told that I couldn't talk to my parents about spiritual matters (and since everything was spiritual it meant that I just couldn't talk to my parents about much of anything) because they were not my spiritual advisors. Blah, it's all so silly now, and even though my dad told my FC that he was wrong and that he had no right to even suggest that I not talk to my folks, it sort of scared me a bit. I didn't want to disobey (well I didn't want to get confronted anymore about such things as inviting a girl to Thanksgiving at my house because she went to the wrong fellowship) It was like West Side Story or something. It was the Sharks and the Jets and I was Maria. I had my parents running one fellowship in town and the WC guy running the other. And I didn't feel like I could talk to either of them. So I started to feel really isolated and really depressed. Every time I talked to my parents I got confronted by that WC guy, every time I talked to that WC guy I got confronted for just talking I guess. It was just so awful. I was raised in TWI. I lived in Way Homes, always had fellowship in my house. My parent's door was ALWAYS open and people dropped by all the time, it was great. We had fun, I learned great things and I don't begrudge that part of my life at all. Anyway, I gave up around that time shut myself off from pretty much everyone, so much so that that WC guy called my dad and set up a meeting because I was so "morose". (which strikes me as funny now since I wasn't supposed to talk to my parents about things, but I guess he could talk about me to my parents) Oh anyway, it's over now but I still am a tiny bit hesitant to talk to people about anything. (very pavlovian) That's really just the beginning of the end but enough for now I think. It really sort of hurts to think about that few years of my life because it really did greatly affect my relationship with my parents and still does to a degree.

[act2]

Cafegirl, I guess most of us can look back and see some good in the time we were in twi. I think that is healthy for us. I am sorry that you were so torn during a big part of your life.

I didnt get in twi till I was 19, but stayed till I was 38.

This is just one more stepping stone in life. Glean the good and chuck the rest....

Thanks for sharing your life with us.

The decisions we make today form our future.

[WaywardWayfer]

Welcome, Cafegirl!

I'm still in, but isn't it amazing how illogical and stupid so many of the rules are/were in TWI? I'm amazed and mad at myself for putting up with all the b.s. and allowing it to affect my thinking.

TWI doesn't permit questioning things and especially leadership when people should be encouraged to question leadership. It keeps everyone on their toes. :D-->

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It only gets better and as you read more here you'll see that you're not alone in how you feel and that it can be overcome. There are a lot of great people out there (outside of TWI) and many of them have never even heard of TWI.

I highly recommend reading the book "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse". It's a great book that will help you along the healing process.

Thank you for sharing and, please, let me buy you a cinnamon roll and a cuppa java.

[anothen]

whew,

Did you say all that in one breath?

[lindyhopper]

Cafegirl,

I was also told not tho talk to my parents, the two times they were put on propation. What a strange place twi is. I was raised in it as you were and my P's were FC most of the time if not area/branch coordinators. I know how hard it is to talk about. Although, I think it is helpful to do so, to sort things out in our minds and lives.

So, If you are still out there and would like to tell us a little more, I would be intersted as would others and there are some of us if not most of us who really understand where you are coming from.

So, post away and hope you are doing well,

Futures so bright

It don't mean a thing, all you gotta do is swing.

[excathedra]

damn

dear cafegirl, how did i miss your story the first time around ?

i'm sorry

hugs, come back

ps. how unbelievably sick to be told you can't talk to your parents -- they're not your spiritual advisors -- gimme the phone number of that corps person

Edited August 27, 2003 by Guest

[Tom Strange]

yeah! we'll smack 'em around for ya!

... big hitter, the lama...

[Mr Incredible]

Hello Cafe -

I guess I am still to new to say welcome because you were actually here before me (but welcome anyway!). I agree with Act2 tho - We all look back on TWI and remember some good times...I must admit it wasnt all bad (but the bad was really bad!)

Hang out - this place can be fun, and theres a lot of fun people here...

Bless -

Michael.

[imbus]

Hey cafegirl,

Keep talking . It does a body good. Its like being emotinally plugged up and finally having to go."GREASE"spot has a madisinal way of disloging all the B*ll.... and heartache that we have endured. RUN with baby, Run with it!

[Dot Matrix]

(((cafegirl)))

Nobody should be torn between their parents and a "church" (so to speak) How awful!

Glad you are out!