When I went LEAD, there was a Family Corps couple in their late 50s/early 60s who had hitchhiked from the Indiana Campus. I thought that was stupid. The woman had a hard time, but did break through and excel, but I still think it is a stupid thing to require people to do in the name of Christian leadership.
The ONE thing that I can say about LEAD is, as much as I hated it, and as lousy as I was at it, that ANYTHING that has happened in my life since then, I have approached with the attitude, "I survived LEAD ... I can do this." I do not think that is exactly what they had in mind when talking about LEAD building an "unalterable I Can Do attitude."
By the way, if JAL is any authority (and he insisted he had done hundreds, if not thousands, of LEAD evaluations), my LEAD evaluation was the worst he had ever seen. He told me this is a kind voice about 5 days after Dr. Wierwille died (when JAL had returned to Emporia). He was explaining to me why I would not be graduating with the 13th Corps, but would need to go LOA. He was not harsh in any way, but he said he could not allow me to make the commitment for a lifetime of leadership -- that I was not ready to make that vow. He was right. I have come to see that I should have never entered the Way Corps. I am thankful for the experiences that I had there, but I really did not belong, and to be honest, I was most likely surrounded by LOTS of people who did not belong. Fortunately, I had someone (as well as family) who helped me pick up the pieces of my life when I left the Way Corps in late May, 1985. Rochelle Wajnberg did not have such a support system.
JAL and I remain friends to this day (though I am not a follower of CES). He did me a favor.
I had forgotten that slogan. I guess that was why LEAD was so potentially dangerous: what is mildly difficult for one person is physically impossible for another in reality, but TWI took the one size fits all approach. LEAD was no big whoop for me physically, but the insanity around me really made me question if I wanted to be part of the Corps. I didn't mention my doubts, just shut up, kept my head low and finished the Corps training. The unalterable I can do attitude is not what stuck with me, but the unalterable "there are some things I just won't do and won't put up with".
I don't think LEAD was a good indicator of who could really be a leader/minister to people (which is what I thought the Way Corps was about). Some of the axxholes who could climb the rocks like monkeys and kissed up to the LEAD staff probably got stellar evaluations, became limb and region coordinators, etc. They were the types that I was either just wary of or repulsed by as humans let alone leaders.
Some of the people who were older (over 30 seemed old to me, then..), over weight, with physical problems were the ones who I'd trust enough to follow even if they fainted during the first 20 feet up a hike.
I don't even remember getting an evaluation for either of my LEAD sessions while in the Corps. I don't think I heard anything good or bad about how I did on LEAD. I didn't think anyone noticed what I did during LEAD because I just did what the staff said and tried not to .... them off.
The Corps LEAD session just seemed to contradict most things I learned in the "open" non Corps session. There was no helping each other, no encouraging, no telling stories and laughing at the campfire or teasing about who had the best "sour dough look". The Corps LEAD session just seemed like a lot of unnecessary nit picking, meanness and "me first, look at me" competition.
I am in my forties now and am thinking about doing an Outward Bound type of thing for middle aged women just to clear up some of the nastiness that Corps session LEAD memories stir up for me. I guess I want to re experience the fun, the joy, the fellowship of my nonCorps LEAD session.
I didn't get evaluated either, at least not face to face. Yet I think there was an evaluation because there was a meeting with Dr W and all the Corps in Wierewille Library one day and we were all told that some us weren't going to be able to stay in residence and they were taking five criteria into consideration:
-LEAD Evaluations
-Financial state our sponsorship
-Our points from running (whatever they were called)
-2 other things I can't remember
Thus, there must have been LEAD evaluations but what the heck mine was I'll never know. Would have been nice, I guess. Kind of like taking a class and never being told your grade.
Toadfriend: I felt that way too, like I didn't belong in the Corps.
On the subject of "belonging", when I first got to In-residence, first meeting we had, Gerald W told us all we were CALLED, some time later that year Dr W came to campus and said half of us didn't belong there.
Of course he wasn't specific about which half. Some of us were looking at each other later and going "Is it me, Lord?"
I was Family corpse, and we had mostly women. talk about stupid, they had 2 women hitch-hiking to Tinney, that was really dumb. My first year I was with a lovely black lady named Sandra Carver. She was a kick, we had a hell of a time hiking thru the south. Me not knowing predjudice but believe me, the South knew it! On one of our rides home a truck driver pulled his truck over and asked which one of us was going to "DO" him. Sandra shocked asked what HE WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!
He said, "didn't you see the side of my truck?? It says, cash, grass or foot for rides!
He let us out in the middle of a deserted hiway somewhere in bf tx, we had to walk aprox 2 miles into the town where the next truck stop was, begging for rides to our beloved IC...the dickhead walked in aprox 1 hr later looking quite smug. It was, in hindsite, quite dangerous for us girls to be out there on the road alone. Many more hitchiking stores but let me continue with Lead.
I was in rez w/11th corpse, I had no idea to the severity of the accident. We also had an accident which I was not involved. But Sam and Billie Grahme were in the back of a pick-up truck and Billie broke her arm because of an accident. Funny cause they were the ones who sold Tinney to TWI, but they didn't have to go that time, obviously!
As for me, well I was a skinny girl, they tried to put an 80# back-pack on me, I kept falling over, and over, and over, I would be like a turtle on its back, stuck, they would have to help me up!! It was stupid and pathetic. I only weighed about 30# more than the back-pack!! (This was during the hike in.)
Anyway finally I started dry heaving and having symptoms of hypothermia. Someone finally figured it out that I was going to be a problem unless they took care of me, so they gave me water, and took some of my load and re-distributed it amongst those that could handle the weight.
I hated the climbing BUT, at one point, I had a terrible fear of heights which I think Joanne (Clydes wife-used to be Strauhal) talked me out of the fear.
Anyway the over heavy back-pack caught up with me after getting home to IC. One morning about 1 week later I bent over to get in a lower drawer and my back completely went out. I was 1 1/2" shorter on my right side, could move forward or backward, couldn't move much at all. Went to the local Chiro and when I saw the x-rays it blew my mind. The lower back had 3 vertabre that were off at a right angle about 180 degrees. It scared me and of course hurt like hell. I couldn't do much for a couple weeks, and I mean couldn't even brush my own hair!! Had to do the chiro for about 1 month and my back has never been the same!!
Oh also on my duo---afterwards when they came to get me,,,,,it was suggested that I quit smoking....(which I never smoked in my life). yeah those guys were spirtually tapped in. IF I quit smoking I would be stronger...yeah, thanks guys.
The worse thing of course for those of us who were "allowed" to do the LEAD crap (family corpse) was having to leave our kids to do the stupid program,
and again for lightbearers, and again for whatever the hell else they chose to send us off to. I came home once and the wonderful lady taking care of my son WAS tapped in. My son got blood poisining from scraping his leg on one of the bathtubs at IC. Thank God I left her money (to take him to the doctor!!). You don't think TWI would pay for any doctor bills do you?? Hell NO.
My last year one of the staff hitch-hiked with me, it was a guy this time, much smarter move.
I agree, LEAD should have been volunteer ONLY. It was a farce.
Desert MY kids to learn to climb rocks, or go witnessing, or go to whatever. God I am glad they have forgiven me for the neglect, I only wish they could forget :(-->
the kid GOT blood poisoning from being in the IC bathrooms!! it would have killed him but thank God my bud Linda was paying attention.
she had money there cause I left her w/my 2 kids, and it was HER responsibility to take him to the Doctor??? don't you think possibly someone at IC would have put it on the tab??
it somehow was our moneys that had to be spent if/when someone got sick.
our first year Chris Boulange was in rez so we had him available, otherwise IF/WHEN we got sick enough for the doc, it was our $$ even tho IT WAS IC and THEIR rusty pipes that infected the kid.
IF possible we would leave money when we dumped our children on our other in rez friends. I just happened to have left her money, otherwise she couldn't have taken him!
Gosh I thought I was totally healed from all this crap...I know most of the people HCW was talking about because they were close friends.
I remember not wanting to go lead because of my total fear of heights. I have been that way because I don't have good balance. I have a hard time even going on ladders because of it.
At dinner one time they called my name to go lead. We met the next morning to chose who we were going to hitch hike with. Everyone seemed to have partners except for me. So they put me with a married couple. The man was huge and kind of scary looking. I knew we would have problems with the hitch hiking part. His wife was really super mad at me because she didn't want me with them. She was horrible to me and would cry and say to her husband I don't want her with us.
Not too many people would pick us up. It was very slow moving. One time a couple of trucks wanted to separate us all they were very scary looking. The wife was like that is great I will go with them. Not very smart.
One truck driver picked us up we were very thankful. He started getting really weird with us. It was in the middle of the night. He stopped on the side of the road. He got his gun out and pointed it to us and we ran.
Its been so many years ago its really hard to remember all of the details. But needless to say, after all the experiences we had we didn't make it in time. No one was there and we had to go back. I was very very tired and very hungry.
I noticed that HCW said that if we didn't make it there was suppose to be a meal for us and then to back. There was nothing there.
On our way back the wife wanted me to separate from them. In fact if I remember correctly she demanded that I leave them. I still stuck with them because I was so scared. I couldn't imagine hitching back by myself.
One night we got a ride with a truck driver that seemed to be nice. I was so tired he offered for us to use the bed in the back. The wife got back there. When I entered she had a royal fit but I was determined. I knew I couldn't push myself any longer.
The driver decided to pull over and I was sound asleep. Everyone was sleeping. I felt his hands all my breasts. I started pounding on his head. The wife woke up and had another royal fit about me.
That is the last I remember. I woke up in the trailor part of the truck. They opened up the back of the trailor that I was in at the campus of emporia and I remember how light it was. But in between that time I have no memory...even after all these years.
I'm taking a break but there is more to this story.
We didn't have Lead (we had our own unique poisons)but I did chaperone a Teen Lead session some years later, all teens were from Indiana campus. Corps kids. They were stealing the truck stops BLIND every stop we made. Not a pleasant thing.
Years later I discovered that I had also been evaluated, surruptitiously. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
All I have ever seen of Texas I saw lying down next to my Corps sister and Corps brother in the back of a pickup truck covered with a tarp with just enough air to breathe. It was raining. The guys driving the truck had stopped in God-knows-where, Texas and I looked up at saw the golden arches of McDonald's by the side of the road way up in the air .... very surreal. I remember thinking, "I could be anywhere," but was so tired I just went back to sleep. I woke up when we were dropped off at some truck stop in Kansas.
The girl I hitched with, Angie, had been a Chic jeans model and was very sweet. The guy, Michael, was a real jerk (is still in TWI, I think), and he had not wanted me to be the third in the group. We had left from Gunnison (a block of hell that deserves its own thread) at the end of the block, went to LEAD, then were hitching back to Emporia for our final block in residence. It is all like a very bad dream, but amazingly clear in some of its more horrid details.
Every time I read this kind of junk, I'm so thankful that I never got any more involved in this outfit than I did.
I've done high adventure stuff with the Boy Scouts and it can be a fantastic experience, if you want to do it. To force people to do that is just ridiculous, especially if they're not prepared for it. With the Scouts, we sometimes spend several weeks getting the kids ready before we go. The Scouts have a "cope course" at one of their camps with a climbing wall and different types of rope challenges that gives the kids some idea of what they're going to be doing. Some decide they don't want to do it, which is fine, but to send people into something like that with no preparation, and then force, them to do it, is just plain stupid.
The absolute insanity of requiring people to hitchhike across the country goes without saying.
I didn't go either but remember how it was talked up. There was a girl from Houston that talked up the adventure to us. Said how it was a walk with God to believe and hitch accross country without food and they wern't suppost to spend the money. If they did they wernt believing and were kicked out of the corp.
At the time I was looking at these people as leaders and thought how great it would be.
Ya'll dont know how glad I am that my sister talked me out of going wow and then what would have followed.
Went LEAD late in the 90's - when it went back to the Gunnison area. It had been a winter with lots of snowfall but a particularly warm April. The worst part was hiking back OUT of our main base camp. The snow was so unstable we had to use snow shoes which were supposed to be used with poles. We also had packs, some upwards of 100 pounds because we were breaking down the camp. We also had to carry things like five gallon buckets full of gear instead of the poles.
The snow was like frozen paper on top and powder underneath. Each step resulted in us sinking up to our thighs. Try stepping out of snow up to your thigh, in snow shoes, with 100 pounds on your back and a five gallon bucket in each hand! We had to hike downhill like this for what seemed like hours - more like just a mile or two I suppose. But it took forever! Of course, some would fall and "turtle" because besides all this there was ice to deal with. Were we encouraged? Given support? Hell no! We were screamed at, threatened, chastized, called every foul name in the book if we fell. Wonderful experience ... made me want to be Corps! Yeah ... right. If God treated me like that, I wouldn't want to worship that god.
quote: Of course, some would fall and "turtle" because besides all this there was ice to deal with. Were we encouraged? Given support? Hell no! We were screamed at, threatened, chastized, called every foul name in the book if we fell. Wonderful experience ... made me want to be Corps! Yeah ... right. If God treated me like that, I wouldn't want to worship that god.
What great examples they are of loving, caring and treating people like they are the salt of the earth, eh?
COME ON, INNIES!! IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU THINK GOD WANTS HIS PEOPLE TO LIVE???
There I was climbing up the mountain... and I couldn't find any hand hold,... so I prayed... and I don't know how it happened... but there was a place to put my hand... and I pulled myself up.
I wanted to interject a little humor.
(Mostly an inside joke for those who listened to all those LEAD stories on Sunday nights until you could hardly stay awake anymore.)
Thanks for adding your stories. I guess the cruelty I saw wasn't my imagination after all.
Vickles, Thank God you made if back to Emporia alive, no thanks to the she devil you had to travel with. Just making it through that experience makes you pretty tough.
Suz, I can't get past Oh my God! for how they treated your son. [shaking my head, speechless...]
When we were hitching back I tried calling Emporia and they would not except a collect call from me. I had to use my parents phone number to even get connected to them to let them know what a hard time we were having of it. I remember feeling stuck and empty. It was a very scary feeling.
We had spent our ten dollars so had to work to get back into the campus. I was dazed and tired. (Considering what I had been through not knowing and totally exhausted) So I went back to my dorm room and got ten dollars out of my wallet. I figured others do it all the time. I felt it was ok with God considering what I had been through. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that is what the wife and husband did because they were already welcomed in.
One of my elder corps kept on asking me questions about where I got the money and where did I work. Finally I told her. She reported me and that night I was called before the whole 9th and 11th corps. (Remember I was still tramautized) I had to stand there while everyone else was sitting and be screamed at and belittled for what felt like hours. I felt like nothing. I balled for the rest of the night. I had no strength left.
Early the next morning Pat L#nn called me into her apt and told me that I had to work for the money somehow and I would not be allowed to come back until I had the money.
So I to town I went. I went door to door trying to find work. No one would let me do anything for them. They looked at me as if I was a homeless person. I must have looked horrendous considering how tired I was.
One woman wouldn't let me do anything but she said she had had people coming over from the campus begging for work and she just wanted me to have the ten dollars. I was afraid to take it since I didn't work for it and knew that there would be a price to pay. The lady brought the phone to me and let me call pat. She was not happy at all but she let me come back.
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ToadFriend
When I went LEAD, there was a Family Corps couple in their late 50s/early 60s who had hitchhiked from the Indiana Campus. I thought that was stupid. The woman had a hard time, but did break through and excel, but I still think it is a stupid thing to require people to do in the name of Christian leadership.
The ONE thing that I can say about LEAD is, as much as I hated it, and as lousy as I was at it, that ANYTHING that has happened in my life since then, I have approached with the attitude, "I survived LEAD ... I can do this." I do not think that is exactly what they had in mind when talking about LEAD building an "unalterable I Can Do attitude."
By the way, if JAL is any authority (and he insisted he had done hundreds, if not thousands, of LEAD evaluations), my LEAD evaluation was the worst he had ever seen. He told me this is a kind voice about 5 days after Dr. Wierwille died (when JAL had returned to Emporia). He was explaining to me why I would not be graduating with the 13th Corps, but would need to go LOA. He was not harsh in any way, but he said he could not allow me to make the commitment for a lifetime of leadership -- that I was not ready to make that vow. He was right. I have come to see that I should have never entered the Way Corps. I am thankful for the experiences that I had there, but I really did not belong, and to be honest, I was most likely surrounded by LOTS of people who did not belong. Fortunately, I had someone (as well as family) who helped me pick up the pieces of my life when I left the Way Corps in late May, 1985. Rochelle Wajnberg did not have such a support system.
JAL and I remain friends to this day (though I am not a follower of CES). He did me a favor.
ToadFriend
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Scout Finch
...."an unalterable I can do attitude"...
I had forgotten that slogan. I guess that was why LEAD was so potentially dangerous: what is mildly difficult for one person is physically impossible for another in reality, but TWI took the one size fits all approach. LEAD was no big whoop for me physically, but the insanity around me really made me question if I wanted to be part of the Corps. I didn't mention my doubts, just shut up, kept my head low and finished the Corps training. The unalterable I can do attitude is not what stuck with me, but the unalterable "there are some things I just won't do and won't put up with".
I don't think LEAD was a good indicator of who could really be a leader/minister to people (which is what I thought the Way Corps was about). Some of the axxholes who could climb the rocks like monkeys and kissed up to the LEAD staff probably got stellar evaluations, became limb and region coordinators, etc. They were the types that I was either just wary of or repulsed by as humans let alone leaders.
Some of the people who were older (over 30 seemed old to me, then..), over weight, with physical problems were the ones who I'd trust enough to follow even if they fainted during the first 20 feet up a hike.
I don't even remember getting an evaluation for either of my LEAD sessions while in the Corps. I don't think I heard anything good or bad about how I did on LEAD. I didn't think anyone noticed what I did during LEAD because I just did what the staff said and tried not to .... them off.
The Corps LEAD session just seemed to contradict most things I learned in the "open" non Corps session. There was no helping each other, no encouraging, no telling stories and laughing at the campfire or teasing about who had the best "sour dough look". The Corps LEAD session just seemed like a lot of unnecessary nit picking, meanness and "me first, look at me" competition.
I am in my forties now and am thinking about doing an Outward Bound type of thing for middle aged women just to clear up some of the nastiness that Corps session LEAD memories stir up for me. I guess I want to re experience the fun, the joy, the fellowship of my nonCorps LEAD session.
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outandabout
I didn't get evaluated either, at least not face to face. Yet I think there was an evaluation because there was a meeting with Dr W and all the Corps in Wierewille Library one day and we were all told that some us weren't going to be able to stay in residence and they were taking five criteria into consideration:
-LEAD Evaluations
-Financial state our sponsorship
-Our points from running (whatever they were called)
-2 other things I can't remember
Thus, there must have been LEAD evaluations but what the heck mine was I'll never know. Would have been nice, I guess. Kind of like taking a class and never being told your grade.
Toadfriend: I felt that way too, like I didn't belong in the Corps.
On the subject of "belonging", when I first got to In-residence, first meeting we had, Gerald W told us all we were CALLED, some time later that year Dr W came to campus and said half of us didn't belong there.
Of course he wasn't specific about which half. Some of us were looking at each other later and going "Is it me, Lord?"
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suz
I was Family corpse, and we had mostly women. talk about stupid, they had 2 women hitch-hiking to Tinney, that was really dumb. My first year I was with a lovely black lady named Sandra Carver. She was a kick, we had a hell of a time hiking thru the south. Me not knowing predjudice but believe me, the South knew it! On one of our rides home a truck driver pulled his truck over and asked which one of us was going to "DO" him. Sandra shocked asked what HE WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!
He said, "didn't you see the side of my truck?? It says, cash, grass or foot for rides!
He let us out in the middle of a deserted hiway somewhere in bf tx, we had to walk aprox 2 miles into the town where the next truck stop was, begging for rides to our beloved IC...the dickhead walked in aprox 1 hr later looking quite smug. It was, in hindsite, quite dangerous for us girls to be out there on the road alone. Many more hitchiking stores but let me continue with Lead.
I was in rez w/11th corpse, I had no idea to the severity of the accident. We also had an accident which I was not involved. But Sam and Billie Grahme were in the back of a pick-up truck and Billie broke her arm because of an accident. Funny cause they were the ones who sold Tinney to TWI, but they didn't have to go that time, obviously!
As for me, well I was a skinny girl, they tried to put an 80# back-pack on me, I kept falling over, and over, and over, I would be like a turtle on its back, stuck, they would have to help me up!! It was stupid and pathetic. I only weighed about 30# more than the back-pack!! (This was during the hike in.)
Anyway finally I started dry heaving and having symptoms of hypothermia. Someone finally figured it out that I was going to be a problem unless they took care of me, so they gave me water, and took some of my load and re-distributed it amongst those that could handle the weight.
I hated the climbing BUT, at one point, I had a terrible fear of heights which I think Joanne (Clydes wife-used to be Strauhal) talked me out of the fear.
Anyway the over heavy back-pack caught up with me after getting home to IC. One morning about 1 week later I bent over to get in a lower drawer and my back completely went out. I was 1 1/2" shorter on my right side, could move forward or backward, couldn't move much at all. Went to the local Chiro and when I saw the x-rays it blew my mind. The lower back had 3 vertabre that were off at a right angle about 180 degrees. It scared me and of course hurt like hell. I couldn't do much for a couple weeks, and I mean couldn't even brush my own hair!! Had to do the chiro for about 1 month and my back has never been the same!!
Oh also on my duo---afterwards when they came to get me,,,,,it was suggested that I quit smoking....(which I never smoked in my life). yeah those guys were spirtually tapped in. IF I quit smoking I would be stronger...yeah, thanks guys.
The worse thing of course for those of us who were "allowed" to do the LEAD crap (family corpse) was having to leave our kids to do the stupid program,
and again for lightbearers, and again for whatever the hell else they chose to send us off to. I came home once and the wonderful lady taking care of my son WAS tapped in. My son got blood poisining from scraping his leg on one of the bathtubs at IC. Thank God I left her money (to take him to the doctor!!). You don't think TWI would pay for any doctor bills do you?? Hell NO.
My last year one of the staff hitch-hiked with me, it was a guy this time, much smarter move.
I agree, LEAD should have been volunteer ONLY. It was a farce.
Desert MY kids to learn to climb rocks, or go witnessing, or go to whatever. God I am glad they have forgiven me for the neglect, I only wish they could forget
:(-->
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excathedra
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suz
the kid GOT blood poisoning from being in the IC bathrooms!! it would have killed him but thank God my bud Linda was paying attention.
she had money there cause I left her w/my 2 kids, and it was HER responsibility to take him to the Doctor??? don't you think possibly someone at IC would have put it on the tab??
it somehow was our moneys that had to be spent if/when someone got sick.
our first year Chris Boulange was in rez so we had him available, otherwise IF/WHEN we got sick enough for the doc, it was our $$ even tho IT WAS IC and THEIR rusty pipes that infected the kid.
IF possible we would leave money when we dumped our children on our other in rez friends. I just happened to have left her money, otherwise she couldn't have taken him!
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vickles
Gosh I thought I was totally healed from all this crap...I know most of the people HCW was talking about because they were close friends.
I remember not wanting to go lead because of my total fear of heights. I have been that way because I don't have good balance. I have a hard time even going on ladders because of it.
At dinner one time they called my name to go lead. We met the next morning to chose who we were going to hitch hike with. Everyone seemed to have partners except for me. So they put me with a married couple. The man was huge and kind of scary looking. I knew we would have problems with the hitch hiking part. His wife was really super mad at me because she didn't want me with them. She was horrible to me and would cry and say to her husband I don't want her with us.
Not too many people would pick us up. It was very slow moving. One time a couple of trucks wanted to separate us all they were very scary looking. The wife was like that is great I will go with them. Not very smart.
One truck driver picked us up we were very thankful. He started getting really weird with us. It was in the middle of the night. He stopped on the side of the road. He got his gun out and pointed it to us and we ran.
Its been so many years ago its really hard to remember all of the details. But needless to say, after all the experiences we had we didn't make it in time. No one was there and we had to go back. I was very very tired and very hungry.
I noticed that HCW said that if we didn't make it there was suppose to be a meal for us and then to back. There was nothing there.
On our way back the wife wanted me to separate from them. In fact if I remember correctly she demanded that I leave them. I still stuck with them because I was so scared. I couldn't imagine hitching back by myself.
One night we got a ride with a truck driver that seemed to be nice. I was so tired he offered for us to use the bed in the back. The wife got back there. When I entered she had a royal fit but I was determined. I knew I couldn't push myself any longer.
The driver decided to pull over and I was sound asleep. Everyone was sleeping. I felt his hands all my breasts. I started pounding on his head. The wife woke up and had another royal fit about me.
That is the last I remember. I woke up in the trailor part of the truck. They opened up the back of the trailor that I was in at the campus of emporia and I remember how light it was. But in between that time I have no memory...even after all these years.
I'm taking a break but there is more to this story.
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excathedra
ohmygod vickles, i was going to respond to suzie and then i read what you wrote. i'm speechless. it is so much like that time for me in the motorcoach
i'm horrified
and dear suzie, i had no idea about them not paying for sick children to see the doctor
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TheEvan
We didn't have Lead (we had our own unique poisons)but I did chaperone a Teen Lead session some years later, all teens were from Indiana campus. Corps kids. They were stealing the truck stops BLIND every stop we made. Not a pleasant thing.
Years later I discovered that I had also been evaluated, surruptitiously. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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excathedra
i'm sorry but i have to say this, oldies please open up your eyes or your heart
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excathedra
something else (thanks HCW for all these goddamn flashbacks
;)-->)
why would a person need to climb rocks to show how much they wanted to know and love god and help others ?
i know it's being said here already, but sorry i just want to wonder aloud....
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ToadFriend
All I have ever seen of Texas I saw lying down next to my Corps sister and Corps brother in the back of a pickup truck covered with a tarp with just enough air to breathe. It was raining. The guys driving the truck had stopped in God-knows-where, Texas and I looked up at saw the golden arches of McDonald's by the side of the road way up in the air .... very surreal. I remember thinking, "I could be anywhere," but was so tired I just went back to sleep. I woke up when we were dropped off at some truck stop in Kansas.
The girl I hitched with, Angie, had been a Chic jeans model and was very sweet. The guy, Michael, was a real jerk (is still in TWI, I think), and he had not wanted me to be the third in the group. We had left from Gunnison (a block of hell that deserves its own thread) at the end of the block, went to LEAD, then were hitching back to Emporia for our final block in residence. It is all like a very bad dream, but amazingly clear in some of its more horrid details.
TF
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Pirate1974
Every time I read this kind of junk, I'm so thankful that I never got any more involved in this outfit than I did.
I've done high adventure stuff with the Boy Scouts and it can be a fantastic experience, if you want to do it. To force people to do that is just ridiculous, especially if they're not prepared for it. With the Scouts, we sometimes spend several weeks getting the kids ready before we go. The Scouts have a "cope course" at one of their camps with a climbing wall and different types of rope challenges that gives the kids some idea of what they're going to be doing. Some decide they don't want to do it, which is fine, but to send people into something like that with no preparation, and then force, them to do it, is just plain stupid.
The absolute insanity of requiring people to hitchhike across the country goes without saying.
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ex70sHouston
I didn't go either but remember how it was talked up. There was a girl from Houston that talked up the adventure to us. Said how it was a walk with God to believe and hitch accross country without food and they wern't suppost to spend the money. If they did they wernt believing and were kicked out of the corp.
At the time I was looking at these people as leaders and thought how great it would be.
Ya'll dont know how glad I am that my sister talked me out of going wow and then what would have followed.
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outandabout
Vickles, that wifey was so nice to you wasn't she...what a beeyatch, willing to throw you to the wolves and leave you ALONE to hitch????
Ah yes, the love of God in the renewed mind in manifestation.....
Toadfriend, Your buddy Michael probably didn't want you around because he wanted Chic Jeans to to himself.
Ah, yes, the love of God in the renewed mind in manifestation.....
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Belle
Truly taking care of the one body of Christ.
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((((Vickles)))) ((((ToadFriend)))) ((((Suz))))
I'm so sorry! How dare they?!?! And we willingly gave our lives for these creatures. It makes me literally sick to my stomach.
When did they quit the hitch hiking part of the training? I know they still do LEAD and that it's as hard and dangerous as ever.
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Microbe
Went LEAD late in the 90's - when it went back to the Gunnison area. It had been a winter with lots of snowfall but a particularly warm April. The worst part was hiking back OUT of our main base camp. The snow was so unstable we had to use snow shoes which were supposed to be used with poles. We also had packs, some upwards of 100 pounds because we were breaking down the camp. We also had to carry things like five gallon buckets full of gear instead of the poles.
The snow was like frozen paper on top and powder underneath. Each step resulted in us sinking up to our thighs. Try stepping out of snow up to your thigh, in snow shoes, with 100 pounds on your back and a five gallon bucket in each hand! We had to hike downhill like this for what seemed like hours - more like just a mile or two I suppose. But it took forever! Of course, some would fall and "turtle" because besides all this there was ice to deal with. Were we encouraged? Given support? Hell no! We were screamed at, threatened, chastized, called every foul name in the book if we fell. Wonderful experience ... made me want to be Corps! Yeah ... right. If God treated me like that, I wouldn't want to worship that god.
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excathedra
i couldn't agree more microbe
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Belle
What great examples they are of loving, caring and treating people like they are the salt of the earth, eh?
COME ON, INNIES!! IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU THINK GOD WANTS HIS PEOPLE TO LIVE???
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mzimagine
A LEAD Story
There I was climbing up the mountain... and I couldn't find any hand hold,... so I prayed... and I don't know how it happened... but there was a place to put my hand... and I pulled myself up.
I wanted to interject a little humor.
(Mostly an inside joke for those who listened to all those LEAD stories on Sunday nights until you could hardly stay awake anymore.)
"It's never true until it happens to you."
MZ Imagine
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Scout Finch
Thanks for adding your stories. I guess the cruelty I saw wasn't my imagination after all.
Vickles, Thank God you made if back to Emporia alive, no thanks to the she devil you had to travel with. Just making it through that experience makes you pretty tough.
Suz, I can't get past Oh my God! for how they treated your son. [shaking my head, speechless...]
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vickles
When we were hitching back I tried calling Emporia and they would not except a collect call from me. I had to use my parents phone number to even get connected to them to let them know what a hard time we were having of it. I remember feeling stuck and empty. It was a very scary feeling.
We had spent our ten dollars so had to work to get back into the campus. I was dazed and tired. (Considering what I had been through not knowing and totally exhausted) So I went back to my dorm room and got ten dollars out of my wallet. I figured others do it all the time. I felt it was ok with God considering what I had been through. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that is what the wife and husband did because they were already welcomed in.
One of my elder corps kept on asking me questions about where I got the money and where did I work. Finally I told her. She reported me and that night I was called before the whole 9th and 11th corps. (Remember I was still tramautized) I had to stand there while everyone else was sitting and be screamed at and belittled for what felt like hours. I felt like nothing. I balled for the rest of the night. I had no strength left.
Early the next morning Pat L#nn called me into her apt and told me that I had to work for the money somehow and I would not be allowed to come back until I had the money.
So I to town I went. I went door to door trying to find work. No one would let me do anything for them. They looked at me as if I was a homeless person. I must have looked horrendous considering how tired I was.
One woman wouldn't let me do anything but she said she had had people coming over from the campus begging for work and she just wanted me to have the ten dollars. I was afraid to take it since I didn't work for it and knew that there would be a price to pay. The lady brought the phone to me and let me call pat. She was not happy at all but she let me come back.
Believe it or not there is more to this story.
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Steve!
Incredible, the love of God in the renewed mind in manifestation at Emporia . . .
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excathedra
how sick
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