My 5 year old Bradley was among the honorees in his kindergarten class. He was on the Principal's Honor Roll and also got a certificate for perfect attendance.
We had fun. His luncheon meal was a burger, baked beans & some tater chips, thank you.
Congrats HC, on your son Bradley that is. Kids is wonderful yes?
And, thank you for telling the tale. So sad so many were hurt, yet so fortunate no one was killed at the scene. So sad about Rachelle. I'd heard that she had comitted suicide, but I did not know she was one of the people in that wreck.
And Sunesis, I thank you also for the quote Excathedra mentioned...
And hey, was Sue Blackmore in that wreck? I had heard that she was. She was my sweet corps sistah...
Craig "shared" about the accident during the announcements. I was sitting way in the back across the lunchroom from the head table.
Craig went on and on about it then said something to the effect of what happened to cause the crash. I perked up to hear what he had to say about it seeing as I knew that Kevin and I were the only ones who really knew what happened. He said something about the wind. "There were two sudden, simultaneously powerful gusts of wind. One from the left then another from the right that picked up the trailer and swung it around one way then immediately back the other way. The trailer pulled the truck to one side. When the driver tried to correct the skid, he overcorrected and the truck went off the road and crashed into a ravine...."
I didn't hear another word he said after that and forgot everything he said prior to it. I was already hating him on the one hand for causing us to miss seeing the crash site. I was listening to him for some closure. I guess I thought he'd somehow give us some validation or vindication about it. He had led up to this big spiritual conclusion about how the devil had attacked us and was trying to destroy the Corps program, using LEAD to do it.
He was back on his "principle" and "hit us where we were vulnerable" rant. I was incensed. We LEAD 104 guys knew we WERE heroes. We had sucessfully faced the single biggest disaster in the history of TWI. We felt that God's hand of protection WAS on us, especially in light of what Kevin & I knew was OBVIOUSLY a MAJOR mistake. Fractions of inches, split seconds & stuff like that saved people's lives.
The instant the crash occurred, MY 11th & 13th Corps brothers & sisters turned the tragedy into one of the finest rescue operations you'll ever see. It went like clockwork. While I was there, struggling to retain my sanity, there was at least one of the WEAKEST of the Corps PRAYING and comforting EVERY injured person.
WE scrambled to aid the paramedics. Every time ANYBODY said go here, grab this, help with that peopl were on it like flies on excrement. It was great. That day LEAD 104 lived up to an exceeded EVERY lofty ideal ever spoken about The Way Corps. There could have been mass confusion and hysteria but NOBODY freaked out even the people in intense pain were calm and cooperative. No cussing, no arguing, no nothing but true and sincere caring for one another.
I felt, "Who in the, blankety, blank, blank, BlankBlank, blank does he think he IS? How could he possibly know that?" Then he said that the people in the traing truck had told they saw the trailer bouncing and whipping the truck around like a rag doll.
I was incensed.
It seemed like a million people asked, "what happened? Was it like Craig said?"
I actually found myself going along with that "super wind from hell" story for a while. I had to put together a very edited version of what happened to tell people anyways. Just the though of repeating it over and over and over and over tore away at my brain. I couldn't believe he said that, but part of me kinda believed it 'cause I kinda convinced myself that Kevin & I ddidn't know what had actually happened.
It DID seem strange that when he tried to bring the truck back on the road, it seemed like all hell broke loose all of a sudden. Then we were staring at a wall of dirt and in an instant flying into the windshield.
At this point I hated Craig for what he said. Not that I wanted any notariety for being in the front seat, having "the best seat in the house" at such a huge thing. I did think I was more qualified to tell people what happened there than Craig. Didn't like it that I didn't speak up more. By now I was in a LOT of pain. I could hardly sit, it hurt like hell to lay down. The pain was so bad I couldn't sleep. I was having flashbacks when I was awake. I couldn't stay awake in class, where sitting was uncomfortable anyways.
He turned it into another "Craig thing." He made himself the authority about it never having spoken to me about it. I don't know if he talked to Kevin. By now I just wanted it to be OVER.
I was being facetious about Sue. She's one of the sweetest of our whole roudy a$$ bunch.
--------------------------
At the scene they asked everyone in great detail about what injuries that had. They tried to get me to go to the hospital, I refused to go. I really didn't think I was hurt, just banged up. I played football in High School, I was a rough, tough wrestler too. "Playing through pain" is part of how I've been brainwashed since I was a little kid. I had no broken bones, just a few cuts, none that required stitches even.
It did take three days to get the broken windshield glass out of my hair - even after showering and scrubbing. Some sweet corps sistahs sat me down & picked it out for me.
It was upsetting to me how we didn't get to go to the hospital to visit people in Tinnie. Craig went. He reported to us his POV on how ther were doing. I wanted to look them in the eyes - apologise, hug them, cry with them. Pump em up - - whatever. All we got to do was sit around the LEAD lodge for a couple of days. Those who could did some work around the lodge. I got a big rock or a piece of a log, maybe it was. Whatever it was I cleaned it up and calligraphed our LEAD 104 theme on it.
My arms and my legs are like steel,
My hands are like vice grips,
My feet are like hind's feet,
And my mind is like Christ's.
I CAN do ALL things!
LEAD 104 (GRRRRRRRrrrr....)
We presented it to Donnie & the LEAD Staff to memorialize the session.
when the block changed. Didn't like that either, I wanted to stay together w/the injured 104'ers. Lost track of them changing blocks. Not too long into the block. Joe Pascarelli poked me in the hip, like "doink!"
I was having real trouble by now sitting on soft seats, so during twig one night I was sitting on the arm of a big easy chair. Joe was sitting in the chair when he poked me. I nearly jumped through the ceiling with the pain.
When I finally landed Joe said, "Your hip is out of joint."
"What?"
Joe had been a Chiropractic assistant in a prior life. He told me that he poked me "right there" to see if I would jump. When I did he said he was 100% sure my hip was dislocated and I'd better get my butt to a Chiropractor, like right now.
I got it cleared to go & TWI said they'd pick up the bill cause it was related to the accident. The Chiropractor, after his exam and x-rays told me that:
1. My spine which normally has five curves now had only three.
2. My atlas bone at the top of my neck was dislocated. (In other words, my head wasn't on straight.)
3. My left hip was 6mm out of the socket.
4. Right hip, 1mm out of socket.
5. My left shoulder was dislocated also.
6. Overall my spine had been compacted 150 mm.
Where I was about 5'9," I was now 5'5 1/4."
He asked me what had happened to me. I told him about the accident. Based on the injuries, he told me that I had recieved a blow of about 5000lbs per sqare inch. My spine had stretched way out like a rubber band and snapped back and stuck in the position it was in, hunched foreward and bent to my left.
"That blow should have killed you." I've seen many other corpses who died of blows much less than this. This is incredible" he said.
"A miracle maybe?" I said.
He said he didn't know about a miracle, he had a son about my age and he would take care of me the way he would want to have his own son taken care of if he were as far from home as me.
I figured THAT itself was a miracle.
That started a rehab process for my back, neck, hips and shoulder that took over 10 years and cost somewhere around $30,000.
I spent that year bouncing to every campus location, each block, different campus. Changing campuses, meant changing Chiropractors, changing chiropractors meant having my records transferred from state to state, having my records transferred meant explaining why I was moving to the Dr. Each Dr. thought it was wrong for them to move me because I was in real need of continuity of treatment. Each Dr. also wanted to finish the process and see me rehabilitated, healed from such a horrible injury.
I was left to do all the explaining, all of the searching for another chiropractor who would continue my treatments in a fashion compatable with the prior one. The only saving grace for me & TWI in the eyes of the Dr.s was that TWI was footing the bills. The Chiropractor in Gunnison was the hardest to leave, he really cared for me as a human being, like a son.
Ilearned a lot about the human body from those guys. Even some spiritaul stuff about healing & touch. Like I switched from this Dr. Todd Spieles in Minster, Oh. I could tell from the way his hands felt on my back that he didn't like me. After being handled with such great care from Dr. Coblentz in Gunnison and Dr. Cox in Rome City. The comparison was obvious. A little wierd but I could "just feel" it. His hands felt "cold" even when he rubbed warm oil on me.
At the end of that inresidence year I was being nazied out of the corps. Same BS as lots of others. People would disappear on an almost weekly basis, as if an ugly LOA monster had eaten them while we all slept.
Coincidentally, Don Wierwille was at Emporia for his regular visit doing ministry business the same day John Lynn had called me in telling me "The decision has been made that it is best for you and the ministry that you go LOA."
I didn't think so. He chided me for "always being so argumentative." I argued & pushed back stronger. He switched up his tactic and told me, "Look, Howard. Lots of people go LOA all the time, its just a few months for you, you can come back in residence with the 12th Corps and you'll surely be one of the tip top guys in that group."
I looked him square in the eyes. Hesitated. Took a deep breath and said. "Ok...."
John smiled. I continued, "If in a couple of months I'll be AT the tip top of the 12th Corps guys I must be at least somewhere NEAR to top of the 11th Corps NOW. RIGHT???"
His smile turned to a fierce glare and he said, "YOU, are outta here." in that snarly JAL style of his. Just tell us where you're going...by tomorrow. Come by my office tomorrow morning by 10 and tell me where you're going." He pivoted and did his patented JAL strut out the door.
I went to see Don W at the trustee apartment, told him about my conversation w/JAL about LOA. I told Don how I felt in my heart that if I left the campus, I might wind up dead soon. He told me about Rochelle having been sent LOA with another gooe friend Kevin Webster. He blamed Kevin of some stuff that caused them both to be expelled from the program and left Rochelle depressed.
"...She was found dead in a hotel earlier today son. It was an apparent suicide."
I was devastated.
The truth about Rochelle is... Basically Kevin W. said they had both been thrown out of the Corps. Rochelle was so distraught, that instead of leaving in the morning (sound familiar?), she insisted they leave then, that night, which was like 2 or 3 in the morning. She had been told to go live with her brother Al in Connecticutt. She had agreed to drop Kevin off at the limb of Indiana then come back and drive to CT. He said she was very depressed and the limb leaders didn't want her hanging around. They let her stay 2 or 3 days, then told her to go.
The Limb Coordinator knew she was depressed. They kicked her out to drive, alone, from Indiana to CT. She made it as far as Columbus, Ohio, checked into a hotel, ALONE at around 5 or 5pm. She had saved up her pain pills from her lead injury and took them all that evening.
They found her dead in the bathroom the next morning.
Anyone who knew Rochelle (as someone said earlier up this thread) knew she was never the same after that head injury.
No. Nobody, to my knowlege, got any type of specific professional counseling regarding trauma from the LEAD accident. They looked at me sideways about paying my bills. Nancy had some major dental bills. When I finally got back to Emporia for the last block of the year she smiled at me & flashed her pretty white teeth.
My physical injuries were invisible, spinal misalignment, soft tissue damage (like, every disc in my entire spine was squished) nerve damage, stuff like that. Bob Moynihan and Rob Kehoe, WCC's at the Indiana campus accused meto my face of LYING about my injuries to get out of stupid household responsibilities like dishwashing. My back injury was so severe at one point that I had written, signed medical releases stating that I should not lift as much as 10 POUNDS. It started out at FIVE pounds in Gunnison. I had progressed up to 10 by the time I was at IC.
I had real live Dr's, legally proper Dr. signed MEDICAL REPORTS AND X-RAYs showing the discs bulging, vertebre impinging on my nerves, my neck curving BACKWARDS from what normal is, front and back views showing curvature to the left. Not to mention PRESCRIPTIONS for pain medication and vitamin and mineral supplements. I was in agony every day since the accident and those assholes thought I just didn't want to do dishes and straighten chairs in the Chapel!
__________________________
Can I stop now?
LEAD 104 (Grrrrrrrrrr.........) was a nice place to visit but I don't wanna live there. ;)-->
In fact, they never really picked up any bill, their accident insurance for LEAD paid 'em. AND. They had some sleazy, fast talkin' insurance guy call me out of the clear blue sky and offer me a settlement. "I have a check right here for $$$$$.00 with you name on it, just say the word and it's in express mail to you. You'll have the money on two days in your hands.
He said it was time sensitive because the statute of limitations was running out on TWI's liability to pay for my injuries. Of course, the end of the statue was imminent. The guy tried to get me to agree to a figure on tape, over the phone, on his FIRST phone call to me. At first I refused, telling him I neede to think about it, and talk it over with some people.
I went to see Phil Skapura, head of TWi finance dept. Told Phil what was up. He said, "Maybe you should sign jusr sign the check when you get it. If he's right you don't have a whole lotta time."
It got complicated. I was running into walls at ever turn. Next ime sleazy guy called I told him to send the check & I'd sign it. He also said they'd pay my existing bill since the last time it was paid (about $8,000). By signing the check that would release TWI from liability for the bills.
I was TIRED of DEALING w/it. I was in so much pain then that I wore a T.E.N.S. (Transcutaneous Electrical, Nerve Stimulator to ease the pain enough for me to think at work.
The money ran out. I bought a house for my family using part of it as a downpayment. I may still need a little treatment occasionally. But.
I've progressed to the point where I can grab my 5yr old w/ one hand lift him up over my head. The 7 yr old requires two hands. I still have pain I still have to manage my back, or it will "get" me.
I want to say so much and nothing at all. It will take some time to take in what some of your account means to me personally.
I think you are one of the finest examples of what could have been "called of God." But oh no, they hadn't the eyes for that Howard. They were in the presence of greatness in that group in the truck and trailer and hadn't a clue.
Some day they (past and present twiers) will stand and shake till their bones break within them, shall sweat real blood and shall beg that these memories of their black coal hearts be removed.
And those like you and Rochelle would be the first to ask Father to give them another chance. How incredible their loss. How incredible our gain in you Howard. I never new Rochelle but I mourn deeply for her this moment.
Please feel free to stop anytime. Perhaps people are being set free by hearing your story (there are many lurkers here who never post), but it should not be at the expense of your own peace.
it hurts me to the core of my soul to know you were treated so rotten - accused of lying about your injuries to get out of work. Bastards! But knowing what I know now, I'm not suprised. It goes right back to what I said before: Soul-less, heart-less, love-less.
I'm glad you are getting better after all of these years. I can see why you wanted to post and talk about this. The accident was a huge central turning point in your life. Your heart is beautiful.
But... but... I thought John Lynn was really just a loving guy-of-God who got caught up with a bunch of bums. Surely he wasn't the cold-blooded, bureaucratic a-hole you make him out to be! I'm so disillusioned. You mean the real him didn't please stand up? I'm shocked, just shocked.
By the way, criminals who sign confessions under duress are let off all the time. You may have a case for signing your agreement under similar conditions. It may be part of the story to come, but I think you should have the benefit of additional and sound legal advice from a really good "pit-bull" of a personal injury law firm. Hopefully the statute of limitations has not expired, but even so, a lawyer friend of mine tells me the law is pretty flexible sometimes, no matter how "iron-clad" it sounds. TWI needs to be punished, and you and others on LEAD 104 need to be compensated. Just my humble opinion HCW. No matter how much you could ever win, this has cost you your health. There is no going back to the day before it happened.
Agreed Dabobbida. Would you mind hcw? Your account gives the side that that poor girl never was able to tell....you are speaking for her, countering the lies told about why she was thrown out....about why she died. With Hcw`s permission...does anybody know how? Wordwolf maybe ?
I'm not gonna stop posting but I am gonna disconnect from reliving the story for a while. I think you can see why....
It has been really good for me, personally, to put this all together, examine it from, outside in, so to speak. Some pretty interesting things jumped out at me while doing it.
So I wrote a song about it, Wanna hear it? Here it goes. (Anyone who catches THAT reference is my soulmate, for sure :)-->
Take all the time you need HCW. As much as we want to hear it, we'll wait until you're ready to share what's on your mind.
I'm very glad you have been breaking this up in installents, because I'm not sure I could absorb and process it all at once anyway.
I've been on thee boards and Waydale before this. I thought I'd cleaned out all the "stuff" from the organization but I find more being cleared away with every installment you've posted.
Every one of us has been used and abused by that outfit in one way or another whether we admit it or not. Your story sheds light on our stories and I'm very greatful for that. God bless your heart.
No rascal, I don't mind somebody doing that.... I could figure it out, but I'm not touching all that. Right now I've gotta drop it like its hot.
Agreed satori. Christian folk talk about life changing experiences all the time - - well.....
When I looked at the current TWI financials posted somewhere in cyberspace, I was alarmed by how they are apparently getting a similar income level while supporting, I would estimate, a ministry about 15% of what it was when they were last at that income level.
Where IS the money going?
No, I'm not lookin' at grabbin' a big piece of it for me. What I'm lookin at is helpin you "innies" SEE how much they are raping YOU.
If they did THIS to me, they are doing it to YOU... NOW.
I know Rosalie R. worked for her for years @ HQ Harve Platig is my elder Corps. He was my research paper advisor during THIS SAME YEAR this thread was "living and REAL." I know these people, excetp for the "new" ones who came along after ROSALIE, threw me out of HQ staff.
Do you really think I DIDN'T KNOW who was specifically behind my getting canned from HQ staff? I was THE SECOND person "purged" from staff. Another good friend of mine, Sal Scheccitano (sp?) was the FIRST. Sal is an EXTREMELY talented New Yorker. He had won the contest, beat out everybody, every pianist in TWI, to be the first official pianist for the WOW Auditorium.
He has those New Yawk chops. When most were talking about all that was wrong @ HQ. Sal DID something about it. He went to his BIBLE. He specifically "worked the Word" about a specific list of things acknowledged as being "off the Word" at HQ.
I was over at his house in St. Marys where we were talking about things & stuff. He told me he was going to Rosalie (she was our Trustee Cabinet member) utilizing "the way tree" and gonna "confront her lovingly, but firmly, with the WORD.... and see what she said about it.
She ARGUED with Sal. She said she knew what "the Word said about those things, BUT. Those were Dr. Wierwille's ways and we just don't operate like that around here anymore."
(Supply the accent, see if it doesn't sould EXACTLY like her. )
She also called John Linder, who armed with a 9mm FIREARM, and another equally armed "safety officer," immediately escorted Sal back to his office to clean out his desk, immediately, while they stood over him, allowed him no phone calls, even to his WIFE, and then kicked him off the property (which BTWAY belongs to EVERY believer, right?) and told him to NEVER come back.
Innt she SWEET? Ms. Rivenbark, that is.
Rosalie Rivenbark did not meet the BIBLICAL qualifications to be an elder in the church.
SPECIFICALLY THIS one:
quote:One that ruleth well his OWN house, having his children in subjection with all gravity (honesty)
I timothy 3:4&5
How about Rosalie's way ward son? HE makes her DISqualified.
Take the 3rd chapter of Timothy and hold it up point by point over the lives of your TWI "elders" past present and FUTURE. Its NOT a high school quiz, dammit, it IS God's "STANDARD" for "performance."
If you don't hit them ALL you CAN NOT, (not MAY not) you can NOT be a leader in GOD's church.
Period.
We did "not rather mourn" (Icorinthians 5:2) our wronged brethren, so that "he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.
NOTICE. The "you" GOD focuses on is "WE" the rank & file believer not THEY, the "leadership."
TWI says they refuse to believe certain widely accepted Christian doctrines because the word ________is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible.
I just checked my Young's Analytical Concordence. Where is "leadership?" Can anybody tell me, couldn't find it. Hmmm....... Talk about your "private" interpretation.
Some want to blast VPW for his sexual indescretions (me too BTW) well. While we're blastin away, I'm thinking a certain RR just MAY have been right in the middle of it??? If you drive down the road where her custom, Way Builders, built house is, its the only one with a 6ft fence that you can't see through at any angle as you go by.
Its not the biggest, nicest, or most extravagant, just the most private.
The most shocking thing to me, reading my Corps journal after all these years, is how much TWI changed me beyond what I felt I knew in my heart that it did.
I was absolutely shocked that "our" John Lynn was throwing me out of the Corps like that. John was always warm even thoough he was tough. That first year with him as Corps Coordinator was "magical" in my opinion. JAL shaped us "11th Elite" into a real cohesive group.
I think he was nazied into nazi'ing me & others. I was expressing the moment, not my entire experience w/ him nor how I feel about him overall. I always thought of John as the "Craig" LCM wanted to be but just couldn't reach. JAL embodied and personified The Way Corps better than Craig ever could.
When I/we found out JAL was our Corps Coordinator, I was estatic. I knew him from a distance as he was the NorthEast Gegion Coordinator. He galvanized and, again in my opinion, helped create the mold for both Limb and Region Coordinators. There were other guys out there doin' it too, Ralph, Vince, Bo, Franklin, etc. (I didn't get to know most of the guys out west, only heard about them.)
NO. I'm not worshippin' JAL, I just esteem him highly in love for the sake of the things I SAW him DO. I thought he was a bit of a spoiled brat at times, but hey, "takes one to know one... -->
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HCW
As far as standing up, talking back. People did that a lot, especially after POP. People got "mad as hell, and we're not gonna take it anymore!" Of my personal pet peeves was the whole money thing. T
HAPe4me
I never participated in it, but I always thought it sounded like "Outward Bound", which has been measurably more successful in achieving it's participant's goals.
So_crates
Yes, but then there's the counter teaching: If you obey the MOG, God will bless you. So what do you do when the MOG orders you to act recklessly? Rhetorical question. SoCrates
HCW
Since the train was off track...
My 5 year old Bradley was among the honorees in his kindergarten class. He was on the Principal's Honor Roll and also got a certificate for perfect attendance.
We had fun. His luncheon meal was a burger, baked beans & some tater chips, thank you.
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J0nny Ling0
Congrats HC, on your son Bradley that is. Kids is wonderful yes?
And, thank you for telling the tale. So sad so many were hurt, yet so fortunate no one was killed at the scene. So sad about Rachelle. I'd heard that she had comitted suicide, but I did not know she was one of the people in that wreck.
And Sunesis, I thank you also for the quote Excathedra mentioned...
And hey, was Sue Blackmore in that wreck? I had heard that she was. She was my sweet corps sistah...
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HCW
At lunch at Emporia
Craig "shared" about the accident during the announcements. I was sitting way in the back across the lunchroom from the head table.
Craig went on and on about it then said something to the effect of what happened to cause the crash. I perked up to hear what he had to say about it seeing as I knew that Kevin and I were the only ones who really knew what happened. He said something about the wind. "There were two sudden, simultaneously powerful gusts of wind. One from the left then another from the right that picked up the trailer and swung it around one way then immediately back the other way. The trailer pulled the truck to one side. When the driver tried to correct the skid, he overcorrected and the truck went off the road and crashed into a ravine...."
I didn't hear another word he said after that and forgot everything he said prior to it. I was already hating him on the one hand for causing us to miss seeing the crash site. I was listening to him for some closure. I guess I thought he'd somehow give us some validation or vindication about it. He had led up to this big spiritual conclusion about how the devil had attacked us and was trying to destroy the Corps program, using LEAD to do it.
He was back on his "principle" and "hit us where we were vulnerable" rant. I was incensed. We LEAD 104 guys knew we WERE heroes. We had sucessfully faced the single biggest disaster in the history of TWI. We felt that God's hand of protection WAS on us, especially in light of what Kevin & I knew was OBVIOUSLY a MAJOR mistake. Fractions of inches, split seconds & stuff like that saved people's lives.
The instant the crash occurred, MY 11th & 13th Corps brothers & sisters turned the tragedy into one of the finest rescue operations you'll ever see. It went like clockwork. While I was there, struggling to retain my sanity, there was at least one of the WEAKEST of the Corps PRAYING and comforting EVERY injured person.
WE scrambled to aid the paramedics. Every time ANYBODY said go here, grab this, help with that peopl were on it like flies on excrement. It was great. That day LEAD 104 lived up to an exceeded EVERY lofty ideal ever spoken about The Way Corps. There could have been mass confusion and hysteria but NOBODY freaked out even the people in intense pain were calm and cooperative. No cussing, no arguing, no nothing but true and sincere caring for one another.
I felt, "Who in the, blankety, blank, blank, BlankBlank, blank does he think he IS? How could he possibly know that?" Then he said that the people in the traing truck had told they saw the trailer bouncing and whipping the truck around like a rag doll.
I was incensed.
It seemed like a million people asked, "what happened? Was it like Craig said?"
I actually found myself going along with that "super wind from hell" story for a while. I had to put together a very edited version of what happened to tell people anyways. Just the though of repeating it over and over and over and over tore away at my brain. I couldn't believe he said that, but part of me kinda believed it 'cause I kinda convinced myself that Kevin & I ddidn't know what had actually happened.
It DID seem strange that when he tried to bring the truck back on the road, it seemed like all hell broke loose all of a sudden. Then we were staring at a wall of dirt and in an instant flying into the windshield.
At this point I hated Craig for what he said. Not that I wanted any notariety for being in the front seat, having "the best seat in the house" at such a huge thing. I did think I was more qualified to tell people what happened there than Craig. Didn't like it that I didn't speak up more. By now I was in a LOT of pain. I could hardly sit, it hurt like hell to lay down. The pain was so bad I couldn't sleep. I was having flashbacks when I was awake. I couldn't stay awake in class, where sitting was uncomfortable anyways.
He turned it into another "Craig thing." He made himself the authority about it never having spoken to me about it. I don't know if he talked to Kevin. By now I just wanted it to be OVER.
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HCW
Yes. Sue Blackmore was LEAD 104 (GRRRRRrrrr...) too.
Didn't you think she was weak?
My kids is all wonderful in various wonderful ways.
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HCW
I was being facetious about Sue. She's one of the sweetest of our whole roudy a$$ bunch.
--------------------------
At the scene they asked everyone in great detail about what injuries that had. They tried to get me to go to the hospital, I refused to go. I really didn't think I was hurt, just banged up. I played football in High School, I was a rough, tough wrestler too. "Playing through pain" is part of how I've been brainwashed since I was a little kid. I had no broken bones, just a few cuts, none that required stitches even.
It did take three days to get the broken windshield glass out of my hair - even after showering and scrubbing. Some sweet corps sistahs sat me down & picked it out for me.
It was upsetting to me how we didn't get to go to the hospital to visit people in Tinnie. Craig went. He reported to us his POV on how ther were doing. I wanted to look them in the eyes - apologise, hug them, cry with them. Pump em up - - whatever. All we got to do was sit around the LEAD lodge for a couple of days. Those who could did some work around the lodge. I got a big rock or a piece of a log, maybe it was. Whatever it was I cleaned it up and calligraphed our LEAD 104 theme on it.
My arms and my legs are like steel,
My hands are like vice grips,
My feet are like hind's feet,
And my mind is like Christ's.
I CAN do ALL things!
LEAD 104 (GRRRRRRRrrrr....)
We presented it to Donnie & the LEAD Staff to memorialize the session.
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HCW
The shipped me off to Camp Gunnison
when the block changed. Didn't like that either, I wanted to stay together w/the injured 104'ers. Lost track of them changing blocks. Not too long into the block. Joe Pascarelli poked me in the hip, like "doink!"
I was having real trouble by now sitting on soft seats, so during twig one night I was sitting on the arm of a big easy chair. Joe was sitting in the chair when he poked me. I nearly jumped through the ceiling with the pain.
When I finally landed Joe said, "Your hip is out of joint."
"What?"
Joe had been a Chiropractic assistant in a prior life. He told me that he poked me "right there" to see if I would jump. When I did he said he was 100% sure my hip was dislocated and I'd better get my butt to a Chiropractor, like right now.
I got it cleared to go & TWI said they'd pick up the bill cause it was related to the accident. The Chiropractor, after his exam and x-rays told me that:
1. My spine which normally has five curves now had only three.
2. My atlas bone at the top of my neck was dislocated. (In other words, my head wasn't on straight.)
3. My left hip was 6mm out of the socket.
4. Right hip, 1mm out of socket.
5. My left shoulder was dislocated also.
6. Overall my spine had been compacted 150 mm.
Where I was about 5'9," I was now 5'5 1/4."
He asked me what had happened to me. I told him about the accident. Based on the injuries, he told me that I had recieved a blow of about 5000lbs per sqare inch. My spine had stretched way out like a rubber band and snapped back and stuck in the position it was in, hunched foreward and bent to my left.
"That blow should have killed you." I've seen many other corpses who died of blows much less than this. This is incredible" he said.
"A miracle maybe?" I said.
He said he didn't know about a miracle, he had a son about my age and he would take care of me the way he would want to have his own son taken care of if he were as far from home as me.
I figured THAT itself was a miracle.
That started a rehab process for my back, neck, hips and shoulder that took over 10 years and cost somewhere around $30,000.
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satori001
Never mind. Answered my question while I was writing it.
Thanks.
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vickles
I suppose that twi isn't still picking up the bill, huh?
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HCW
About Rochelle... and injuries
I spent that year bouncing to every campus location, each block, different campus. Changing campuses, meant changing Chiropractors, changing chiropractors meant having my records transferred from state to state, having my records transferred meant explaining why I was moving to the Dr. Each Dr. thought it was wrong for them to move me because I was in real need of continuity of treatment. Each Dr. also wanted to finish the process and see me rehabilitated, healed from such a horrible injury.
I was left to do all the explaining, all of the searching for another chiropractor who would continue my treatments in a fashion compatable with the prior one. The only saving grace for me & TWI in the eyes of the Dr.s was that TWI was footing the bills. The Chiropractor in Gunnison was the hardest to leave, he really cared for me as a human being, like a son.
Ilearned a lot about the human body from those guys. Even some spiritaul stuff about healing & touch. Like I switched from this Dr. Todd Spieles in Minster, Oh. I could tell from the way his hands felt on my back that he didn't like me. After being handled with such great care from Dr. Coblentz in Gunnison and Dr. Cox in Rome City. The comparison was obvious. A little wierd but I could "just feel" it. His hands felt "cold" even when he rubbed warm oil on me.
At the end of that inresidence year I was being nazied out of the corps. Same BS as lots of others. People would disappear on an almost weekly basis, as if an ugly LOA monster had eaten them while we all slept.
Coincidentally, Don Wierwille was at Emporia for his regular visit doing ministry business the same day John Lynn had called me in telling me "The decision has been made that it is best for you and the ministry that you go LOA."
I didn't think so. He chided me for "always being so argumentative." I argued & pushed back stronger. He switched up his tactic and told me, "Look, Howard. Lots of people go LOA all the time, its just a few months for you, you can come back in residence with the 12th Corps and you'll surely be one of the tip top guys in that group."
I looked him square in the eyes. Hesitated. Took a deep breath and said. "Ok...."
John smiled. I continued, "If in a couple of months I'll be AT the tip top of the 12th Corps guys I must be at least somewhere NEAR to top of the 11th Corps NOW. RIGHT???"
His smile turned to a fierce glare and he said, "YOU, are outta here." in that snarly JAL style of his. Just tell us where you're going...by tomorrow. Come by my office tomorrow morning by 10 and tell me where you're going." He pivoted and did his patented JAL strut out the door.
I went to see Don W at the trustee apartment, told him about my conversation w/JAL about LOA. I told Don how I felt in my heart that if I left the campus, I might wind up dead soon. He told me about Rochelle having been sent LOA with another gooe friend Kevin Webster. He blamed Kevin of some stuff that caused them both to be expelled from the program and left Rochelle depressed.
"...She was found dead in a hotel earlier today son. It was an apparent suicide."
I was devastated.
The truth about Rochelle is... Basically Kevin W. said they had both been thrown out of the Corps. Rochelle was so distraught, that instead of leaving in the morning (sound familiar?), she insisted they leave then, that night, which was like 2 or 3 in the morning. She had been told to go live with her brother Al in Connecticutt. She had agreed to drop Kevin off at the limb of Indiana then come back and drive to CT. He said she was very depressed and the limb leaders didn't want her hanging around. They let her stay 2 or 3 days, then told her to go.
The Limb Coordinator knew she was depressed. They kicked her out to drive, alone, from Indiana to CT. She made it as far as Columbus, Ohio, checked into a hotel, ALONE at around 5 or 5pm. She had saved up her pain pills from her lead injury and took them all that evening.
They found her dead in the bathroom the next morning.
Anyone who knew Rochelle (as someone said earlier up this thread) knew she was never the same after that head injury.
No. Nobody, to my knowlege, got any type of specific professional counseling regarding trauma from the LEAD accident. They looked at me sideways about paying my bills. Nancy had some major dental bills. When I finally got back to Emporia for the last block of the year she smiled at me & flashed her pretty white teeth.
My physical injuries were invisible, spinal misalignment, soft tissue damage (like, every disc in my entire spine was squished) nerve damage, stuff like that. Bob Moynihan and Rob Kehoe, WCC's at the Indiana campus accused meto my face of LYING about my injuries to get out of stupid household responsibilities like dishwashing. My back injury was so severe at one point that I had written, signed medical releases stating that I should not lift as much as 10 POUNDS. It started out at FIVE pounds in Gunnison. I had progressed up to 10 by the time I was at IC.
I had real live Dr's, legally proper Dr. signed MEDICAL REPORTS AND X-RAYs showing the discs bulging, vertebre impinging on my nerves, my neck curving BACKWARDS from what normal is, front and back views showing curvature to the left. Not to mention PRESCRIPTIONS for pain medication and vitamin and mineral supplements. I was in agony every day since the accident and those assholes thought I just didn't want to do dishes and straighten chairs in the Chapel!
__________________________
Can I stop now?
LEAD 104 (Grrrrrrrrrr.........) was a nice place to visit but I don't wanna live there.
;)-->
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A la prochaine
HCW,
No...please go on ... this is what people need to read...especially those who still worship that place called TWI.
I'm praying this is liberating and healing for you.
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HCW
No Vickles. They are not.
In fact, they never really picked up any bill, their accident insurance for LEAD paid 'em. AND. They had some sleazy, fast talkin' insurance guy call me out of the clear blue sky and offer me a settlement. "I have a check right here for $$$$$.00 with you name on it, just say the word and it's in express mail to you. You'll have the money on two days in your hands.
He said it was time sensitive because the statute of limitations was running out on TWI's liability to pay for my injuries. Of course, the end of the statue was imminent. The guy tried to get me to agree to a figure on tape, over the phone, on his FIRST phone call to me. At first I refused, telling him I neede to think about it, and talk it over with some people.
I went to see Phil Skapura, head of TWi finance dept. Told Phil what was up. He said, "Maybe you should sign jusr sign the check when you get it. If he's right you don't have a whole lotta time."
It got complicated. I was running into walls at ever turn. Next ime sleazy guy called I told him to send the check & I'd sign it. He also said they'd pay my existing bill since the last time it was paid (about $8,000). By signing the check that would release TWI from liability for the bills.
I was TIRED of DEALING w/it. I was in so much pain then that I wore a T.E.N.S. (Transcutaneous Electrical, Nerve Stimulator to ease the pain enough for me to think at work.
The money ran out. I bought a house for my family using part of it as a downpayment. I may still need a little treatment occasionally. But.
I've progressed to the point where I can grab my 5yr old w/ one hand lift him up over my head. The 7 yr old requires two hands. I still have pain I still have to manage my back, or it will "get" me.
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A la prochaine
HCW,
Did you end up going LOA? And if so, did you return to finish with the 12th corpse?
Did you ever find out about those who were hospitalized when the accident happened? Where their injuries as severe as yours?
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houseisarockin
I want to say so much and nothing at all. It will take some time to take in what some of your account means to me personally.
I think you are one of the finest examples of what could have been "called of God." But oh no, they hadn't the eyes for that Howard. They were in the presence of greatness in that group in the truck and trailer and hadn't a clue.
Some day they (past and present twiers) will stand and shake till their bones break within them, shall sweat real blood and shall beg that these memories of their black coal hearts be removed.
And those like you and Rochelle would be the first to ask Father to give them another chance. How incredible their loss. How incredible our gain in you Howard. I never new Rochelle but I mourn deeply for her this moment.
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shazdancer
Dear HCW,
Horrendous.
Please feel free to stop anytime. Perhaps people are being set free by hearing your story (there are many lurkers here who never post), but it should not be at the expense of your own peace.
Okay?
Regards,
Shaz
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wondering
it hurts me to the core of my soul to know you were treated so rotten - accused of lying about your injuries to get out of work. Bastards! But knowing what I know now, I'm not suprised. It goes right back to what I said before: Soul-less, heart-less, love-less.
I'm glad you are getting better after all of these years. I can see why you wanted to post and talk about this. The accident was a huge central turning point in your life. Your heart is beautiful.
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dabobbada
Thanks HCW,
When this is finished, someone ought to edit out all the non HCW, non accident stuff and place it in the My Story Forum.
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satori001
But... but... I thought John Lynn was really just a loving guy-of-God who got caught up with a bunch of bums. Surely he wasn't the cold-blooded, bureaucratic a-hole you make him out to be! I'm so disillusioned. You mean the real him didn't please stand up? I'm shocked, just shocked.
By the way, criminals who sign confessions under duress are let off all the time. You may have a case for signing your agreement under similar conditions. It may be part of the story to come, but I think you should have the benefit of additional and sound legal advice from a really good "pit-bull" of a personal injury law firm. Hopefully the statute of limitations has not expired, but even so, a lawyer friend of mine tells me the law is pretty flexible sometimes, no matter how "iron-clad" it sounds. TWI needs to be punished, and you and others on LEAD 104 need to be compensated. Just my humble opinion HCW. No matter how much you could ever win, this has cost you your health. There is no going back to the day before it happened.
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rascal
Agreed Dabobbida. Would you mind hcw? Your account gives the side that that poor girl never was able to tell....you are speaking for her, countering the lies told about why she was thrown out....about why she died. With Hcw`s permission...does anybody know how? Wordwolf maybe ?
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HCW
Hey gang.
Thanks again for the kind words.
I'm not gonna stop posting but I am gonna disconnect from reliving the story for a while. I think you can see why....
It has been really good for me, personally, to put this all together, examine it from, outside in, so to speak. Some pretty interesting things jumped out at me while doing it.
So I wrote a song about it, Wanna hear it? Here it goes. (Anyone who catches THAT reference is my soulmate, for sure
:)-->
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outandabout
Wow. Thank you for sharing. I don't have words.
Just thank you.
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wondering
Satori001
JAL is an A+ human being...I know for sure. God know none of us are perfect, but God knows hearts...
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krys
Take all the time you need HCW. As much as we want to hear it, we'll wait until you're ready to share what's on your mind.
I'm very glad you have been breaking this up in installents, because I'm not sure I could absorb and process it all at once anyway.
I've been on thee boards and Waydale before this. I thought I'd cleaned out all the "stuff" from the organization but I find more being cleared away with every installment you've posted.
Every one of us has been used and abused by that outfit in one way or another whether we admit it or not. Your story sheds light on our stories and I'm very greatful for that. God bless your heart.
krys
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HCW
No rascal, I don't mind somebody doing that.... I could figure it out, but I'm not touching all that. Right now I've gotta drop it like its hot.
Agreed satori. Christian folk talk about life changing experiences all the time - - well.....
When I looked at the current TWI financials posted somewhere in cyberspace, I was alarmed by how they are apparently getting a similar income level while supporting, I would estimate, a ministry about 15% of what it was when they were last at that income level.
Where IS the money going?
No, I'm not lookin' at grabbin' a big piece of it for me. What I'm lookin at is helpin you "innies" SEE how much they are raping YOU.
If they did THIS to me, they are doing it to YOU... NOW.
I know Rosalie R. worked for her for years @ HQ Harve Platig is my elder Corps. He was my research paper advisor during THIS SAME YEAR this thread was "living and REAL." I know these people, excetp for the "new" ones who came along after ROSALIE, threw me out of HQ staff.
Do you really think I DIDN'T KNOW who was specifically behind my getting canned from HQ staff? I was THE SECOND person "purged" from staff. Another good friend of mine, Sal Scheccitano (sp?) was the FIRST. Sal is an EXTREMELY talented New Yorker. He had won the contest, beat out everybody, every pianist in TWI, to be the first official pianist for the WOW Auditorium.
He has those New Yawk chops. When most were talking about all that was wrong @ HQ. Sal DID something about it. He went to his BIBLE. He specifically "worked the Word" about a specific list of things acknowledged as being "off the Word" at HQ.
I was over at his house in St. Marys where we were talking about things & stuff. He told me he was going to Rosalie (she was our Trustee Cabinet member) utilizing "the way tree" and gonna "confront her lovingly, but firmly, with the WORD.... and see what she said about it.
She ARGUED with Sal. She said she knew what "the Word said about those things, BUT. Those were Dr. Wierwille's ways and we just don't operate like that around here anymore."
(Supply the accent, see if it doesn't sould EXACTLY like her.
)
She also called John Linder, who armed with a 9mm FIREARM, and another equally armed "safety officer," immediately escorted Sal back to his office to clean out his desk, immediately, while they stood over him, allowed him no phone calls, even to his WIFE, and then kicked him off the property (which BTWAY belongs to EVERY believer, right?) and told him to NEVER come back.
Innt she SWEET? Ms. Rivenbark, that is.
Rosalie Rivenbark did not meet the BIBLICAL qualifications to be an elder in the church.
SPECIFICALLY THIS one:
How about Rosalie's way ward son? HE makes her DISqualified.
Take the 3rd chapter of Timothy and hold it up point by point over the lives of your TWI "elders" past present and FUTURE. Its NOT a high school quiz, dammit, it IS God's "STANDARD" for "performance."
If you don't hit them ALL you CAN NOT, (not MAY not) you can NOT be a leader in GOD's church.
Period.
We did "not rather mourn" (Icorinthians 5:2) our wronged brethren, so that "he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.
NOTICE. The "you" GOD focuses on is "WE" the rank & file believer not THEY, the "leadership."
TWI says they refuse to believe certain widely accepted Christian doctrines because the word ________is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible.
I just checked my Young's Analytical Concordence. Where is "leadership?" Can anybody tell me, couldn't find it. Hmmm....... Talk about your "private" interpretation.
Some want to blast VPW for his sexual indescretions (me too BTW) well. While we're blastin away, I'm thinking a certain RR just MAY have been right in the middle of it??? If you drive down the road where her custom, Way Builders, built house is, its the only one with a 6ft fence that you can't see through at any angle as you go by.
Its not the biggest, nicest, or most extravagant, just the most private.
I guess its because she has a pool.
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HCW
I agree that JAL is an A+ person, especially now.
The most shocking thing to me, reading my Corps journal after all these years, is how much TWI changed me beyond what I felt I knew in my heart that it did.
I was absolutely shocked that "our" John Lynn was throwing me out of the Corps like that. John was always warm even thoough he was tough. That first year with him as Corps Coordinator was "magical" in my opinion. JAL shaped us "11th Elite" into a real cohesive group.
I think he was nazied into nazi'ing me & others. I was expressing the moment, not my entire experience w/ him nor how I feel about him overall. I always thought of John as the "Craig" LCM wanted to be but just couldn't reach. JAL embodied and personified The Way Corps better than Craig ever could.
When I/we found out JAL was our Corps Coordinator, I was estatic. I knew him from a distance as he was the NorthEast Gegion Coordinator. He galvanized and, again in my opinion, helped create the mold for both Limb and Region Coordinators. There were other guys out there doin' it too, Ralph, Vince, Bo, Franklin, etc. (I didn't get to know most of the guys out west, only heard about them.)
NO. I'm not worshippin' JAL, I just esteem him highly in love for the sake of the things I SAW him DO. I thought he was a bit of a spoiled brat at times, but hey, "takes one to know one...
-->
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