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Sometimes I feel sick


ex10
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I just answered a private topic to someone, and I have to admit, sometimes telling what I know about the way and people in it, makes me sick to my stomach a little.

I knew stuff when I was in, but not near as much as I know now after visiting with exes and such, and sometimes I just feel sorta sick after talking, visiting, and learning more. Am I the only one?

Sometimes I just want to um, uh, for lack of a delicate word, I just want to puke.

Sorry, icon_biggrin.gif:D-->

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ex10,

quote:
I knew stuff when I was in, but not near as much as I know now after visiting with exes and such, and sometimes I just feel sorta sick after talking, visiting, and learning more. Am I the only one?

No....you are not alone. I had strong suspicions of some jaded agendas while in, but knew NOTHING of the magnitude of corruption from the top brass.

Although I am sickened by the likes of vpw, lcm, howard, rosie, donna, linder and others....on the flip side, IT BRINGS MANY SCRIPTURES TO LIFE IN MODERN TIMES. Corrupt leaders deceive people, oppress people, steal from the widows, voice "blessings" and evil from the same mouth, etc. etc.

Of course, I go through those times when I whish i'd never heard of twi. And, of course wonder......what life would have been like if I'd have refused any involvement with twi?

True justice is coming....and God, in his righteousness, is sickened by twi's injustices too.

skyrider

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ex10, I used to feel that way...really sick about the whole thing.

Now the time has gone on and I have dealt with it in my mind. Although every once in a while something I didn't expect would come up in my everyday life.

Hopefully, it will get easier for you as it has for me and some others.

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If something truly nauseating, like seeing TWI's behavior first-hand, does not nauseate you, it means you have become hardened to it. When the nausea response returns, I would think, it is a sign of returning to health. That's not to say we should remain forever nauseated, but it's a stage through which we pass, as with many other addictions.

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Well, I think I like what satori had to say. icon_smile.gif:)--> I am so long gone from the way, been "out," for much longer than I was ever "in," yet sometimes telling what I know still gets to me, along with hearing others' stories, for the first time. I like to think that it's having compassion or empathy, and not being so hardened to it all, that I am cold and unfeeling. There's always someone out there, it seems, who has questions and is still trying to untangle the knots in their life.

I don't get angry, just sad. icon_frown.gif:(-->

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Dear Ex-10 and Sky,

When I think of my involvement with TWI, I too am sickened when I think of what I tolerated, witnessed or worse imposed upon others (family especially).

What makes me want to hurl chunks the most is when I think about my ability to sit back and watch the abuse go on either to me or in front of me or worse by me. I honestly believed I had no say and if I did say anything, I would be the next topic of a corps night teaching. I was like a deer in the headlights, stunned and motionless.

What a comfort to know that my life is no longer like this and that I can feel sane again. That my emotions aren't being rammed into a drawer and locked away, that I do have a mind and that my opinions matter and that family does care about me and that the devil isn't out to get me with every breath I take, that I can be safe even though i'm not part of that TWIsted cult, that you can decide the direction of your future and it's ok to do what YOU want to do and that...and that... and that...

Hurl away EX icon_razz.gif:P--> ...it's worthwhile hurling!!

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Some people can eat a sandwich while watching an

autopsy. Me, I'm pretty sure my "stomach" isn't that "strong",

and I'd feel sick.

I don't think that's a "failing" on my part, not having

calloused to that degree.

Similarly, the horrible things twi did are worth feeling

sick over from time to time. If you feel nothing when

hearing how they destroyed lives-like some of the current

leadership-then something is wrong with YOU. Even the

unbelievers feel sick to hear of the horrors that were

perpetuated.

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I feel sick that I was in a marriage where I didn't feel free to talk to my husband about how evil TWI is and that I had to hide it.

As a result of this he thinks I hid a lot of other things from him, including an affair, and I never had an affair! But, I can't tell him that because he won't talk to me and he wouldn't believe me anyway.

I feel sick that he has cut off communication with his whole family because of lies his local MOG told him and now he is completely and utterly alone with only acquaintances for friends and TWIts who don't really care about him. It's like a kick in the gut.

I feel sick that he bought all the lies of TWI and fails to see how he was cold and unfeeling and pushed people away from him who really and truly care about him.

I feel sick that friends who were horribly treated by TWI kept coming back time and time again to get their teeth kicked in again or merely tolerated because they had something of value that TWI wanted (money, home, free labor).

I feel sick that I was too stupid and naive to recognize the evil and too scared to act on my intuition when I did sense something was wrong.

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