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Nominate The Next President of the The Way


JustThinking
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Can you just imagine the challenges for Amazing Race-New Knoxville competitors? They could have teams of three instead of two, since there are three thrones to be filled.

It might go something like this:

Okay teams. You will first string 144 chairs in the OSC Dining Room while reciting the "What is the Way" definition. Once that task is completed, you will race to the Way Woods and build a bonfire. You will light that bonfire by striking your holy spirit dove against your holy spirit ring. In the rain.

The fire will ignite a string that, when it burns through, will open the (servants') entrance to the "Corps Chalet," that building that looks like it's constructed of Lincoln Logs out in the woods. You will go in and scrub that building from top to bottom. When it passes Donna Martindale's white-glove test, you will receive your clue for the next leg of the race.

Next clue is a Detour!

Your first option is to go door-to-door witnessing at the Greasespot Cafe. You must convince someone there to let you come to their home, set up a television and VCR, provide cookies, coffee, and a hundred or so rolls of toilet paper and not and guffaw while L. Craig Martindale WAPs people over the head with his goofy doctrines. If you are awake and straight-faced at the completion of the video, you'll receive your next clue.

The second option: Go to the Clubhouse next to the barn. There, you will find a tape recorder. Close the door, turn the volume on the machine all the way up, and listen to Beautiful Ohio at full volume for a solid hour. If you can restrain yourself from bolting out the door before the hour's up, you will receive your next clue.

Next challenge: Roadblock! Who has a strong stomach?

Only one of you may complete this task. Placed before you will be a plate containing a large mound of millet covered with fig pep, gorp, and borscht. If you succeed in eating it all without barfing, you will be handed a can labeled "Shinola." What's in the can, however, ain't no shoe polish. Eat it. (You'll have to eat a lot of it anyway if you're going to make it in the twi organization.)

Once they have completed the Roadblock, the teams will hitchhike to a little town called Emporia, Kansas, for a mandatory rest period called a Pit Stop.

The last team to arrive will be marked and avoided.

Go!

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JT,

There is nothing wrong with people liking their own music and can play whatever they like. The only type of music I hate is disco and rap. It's almost like they are related. But people can listen to that with headphones on ground.

I would hack up otherwise.

Rock and Roll is permitted. Lyrics requested to be clean, though. No one is forced to listen to "Ladies of the Way" anymore in fellowship. Let the fellowship (twig) coordinator figure out that fellowship's own music. It is not TWI's call in a local fellowship.

I like Beautiful Ohio but recognize that it has been overdone, making people sick. Therefore, playing this song is limited to once a year publically. Believers can own tapes of it but like disco and rap, must be muffled by headphones.

There will be free therapy for those that need it following 365 consecutive mornings with Beautiful Ohio waking you up.

Are these reforms okay and are they catching on?

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I remember "Beautiful Ohio" -- wafting across the campus there, at AC '79, like some eerie extra-terrestial musical forefinger beckoning to all within hearing distance.

Play it, and they will come -- and like zombies we did, in the early morning hours, dressed in our *best*, bibles and (more importantly) syllabus' in hand, checking the name tags (is it on straight?), pads of paper (do I have enough for all the "words of wisdom" I will hear?), pens (can't run out of ink, in the middle of an inspired teaching), and then there was ..........

that sooonnnggg -- leading the innocent, into the unknown, and into the dark halls of "hollowed" learning, where those that knew little, propounded much, mesmerizing the unwitting with words, much like the music previously, so that ALL (is it all without exception, or all with distincton), left just as glassy-eyed as when they arrived, many hours previously.

No doubt the next prez (whomever it may be), will find an equally hypnotic melody to invite the *masses* to learn "much", about "little".

I would vote for Eagle, but I don't think his plans would *fly* there at twi

(the wierwille institute). icon_biggrin.gif:D-->

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I think if they start a documentary about "Beautiful Ohio" and zombie-like followers checking name tags and criticizing each other for a piece of lint on their clothing, perhaps we should name the documentary...

The Stepford Ministry

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