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You Might Be In A Cult If........


igotout
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You might be in a cult if:

you thoughtlessly take the beautiful diamond studded cross earrings your Roman Catholic sister-in-law gives you for Christmas back to the jewelery store and trade them in on a pair of plain earrings after asking your sister-in-law in front of the whole famdamily if she would wear little electric chairs on her ears if Jesus Christ had come in the day of ol' Sparky...

Not to mention if you can never say Jesus without adding Christ quickly - sure wouldn't want Jesus of Barrabas to get that glory, doncha know, hey!

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in a cult if:

You have to say CHRIST JESUS because he's the glorified one

JESUS CHRIST is the degraded one.

In a cult if:

Whenever "life" was happening around you (flat tire, broken water pipe) you were told to drop everything and "YOU NEEDED THE CLASS!" (even though you'd had it 10x prior)

Edited by Outfield
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If you slept in an assigned bunkbed in a trailer...er, mobile home...for two years straight, with four more bunkbeds lined up in a row next to yours and they all had matching blue plaid bedspreads...

you VERY likely were in a cult.

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If you slept in an assigned bunkbed in a trailer...er, mobile home...for two years straight, with four more bunkbeds lined up in a row next to yours and they all had matching blue plaid bedspreads...

you VERY likely were in a cult.

If you thought that ANY part of the above constituted the "more than abundant life" you WERE in a cult.

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If...

...you keep looking over your shoulder to see who might be trying to accuse you of being a homo...

...you keep watching your best friend for signs they are a homo, so you can report him or her...

...You are in a cult .

Edited by doojable
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If...(since discovering life w/o twi)

...you still spend years after "leaving" your so-called CULT, wasting your time on the Internet, with the same Cult people you lived with, when you were IN the Cult! :asdf:

...and still trying to figure out what happened? :confused:

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well Bumpy... if I'm going to waste time on the internet I think I'd rather waste it here (well, besides my Fantasy Football site)...

...only I'm not "still trying to figure out what happened"... here I get to re-meet some folks and meet new and exciting ones that travel to Senegal and France...

...this is cyberspace baby!

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If...(since discovering life w/o twi)

...you still spend years after "leaving" your so-called CULT, wasting your time on the Internet, with the same Cult people you lived with, when you were IN the Cult! :asdf:

...and still trying to figure out what happened? :confused:

Actually, I only knew one of the posters here before bellying up to the counter for my first cuppa java. I rather like most of the usual patrons here, so I stick around.

I'm very well aware of what happened; that's not why I'm here.

If this place is so detestable to you, why are you here? Does that door need some WD-40 again?

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If this place is so detestable to you, why are you here? Does that door need some WD-40 again? [/color]

WHY...? Are you always using the revolving wd-40 program of removing people who you don't like? Your postings are so..."well, if you don't like it here" don't let the dooooor floooooor you on the way out? Don't you see that the Cult Brain Train, no matter how you integrate it, is still in your DNA? 14 million posts won't change that...Je crois?

And I know you have the majority of your friends disagreeing with this comment, because...well, Bumpy just didn't sign on the Korps Line and therefore, lacks "qualifications"?? <_<

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here I get to re-meet some folks and meet new and exciting ones that travel to Senegal and France...

...this is a cyber baby! :redface2:

It's not really that exciting...except once I send my driver to pick you up in Dakar. That's when it begins!

Get Your Shots! :biglaugh:

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I just do not understand why you would waste time someplace where it appears that you do not like to be. :unsure: Unless you just like taking pot shots at people and this is an easy place to be a bully since Paw is especially longsuffering. It's not like anyone is forcing you to be here against your will. I simply avoid message boards where the people are annoying. I don't hang around and tell them how annoying they are.

Maybe you can explain or correct my impression - maybe you really do like the folks here and you really do enjoy the conversation. It sure does not appear that way to me, but I could be wrong - it has happened once before.... maybe twice. :wink2:

As for the corps comment - Bumpy, I was never more than a joe believer - I never had any real responsibility in TWI and never did more than assist my ex with coordinating a fellowship. I never even went to a ROA or Word in Business gathering and only went to one or two AC Specials. So, I'm really a nobody - I just happen to have been quite a regular here since Paw opened the doors - nothing more and I'm sure there are just as many people here who do not like me as there are folks who do.

I like this place and I adore most of the patrons, that's why I keep coming back. My question to you is, if you find us so pathetic, why do you keep coming back? If that is a mistaken perception of your opinion of us, then please clarify. You can be very entertaining when you want to be, but comments like the one I commented on are cruel and uncalled for, imo.

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I just do not understand why you would waste time someplace where it appears that you do not like to be. :unsure: Unless you just like taking pot shots at people and this is an easy place to be a bully since Paw is especially longsuffering. It's not like anyone is forcing you to be here against your will. I simply avoid message boards where the people are annoying. I don't hang around and tell them how annoying they are.

Maybe you can explain or correct my impression - maybe you really do like the folks here and you really do enjoy the conversation. It sure does not appear that way to me, but I could be wrong - it has happened once before.... maybe twice. :wink2:

As for the corps comment - Bumpy, I was never more than a joe believer - I never had any real responsibility in TWI and never did more than assist my ex with coordinating a fellowship. I never even went to a ROA or Word in Business gathering and only went to one or two AC Specials. So, I'm really a nobody - I just happen to have been quite a regular here since Paw opened the doors - nothing more and I'm sure there are just as many people here who do not like me as there are folks who do.

I like this place and I adore most of the patrons, that's why I keep coming back. My question to you is, if you find us so pathetic, why do you keep coming back? If that is a mistaken perception of your opinion of us, then please clarify. You can be very entertaining when you want to be, but comments like the one I commented on are cruel and uncalled for, imo.

Dear Belle, It's getting late here and I've had a really l o n g driving day in the mountains, ending up with a 4 hour tie and coat meeting. So I may not answer all questions very well in my latest hotel on the ol' laptop here. "But you can quote me"...I MISS my brothers & sisters in Christ from twi. For sure, it really is the closest I have ever gotten to believing in the "Body of Christ" here on earth. I very much enjoy the people I get to meet here, no matter how distant. NONE of you are "pathetic", so please don't use that against me. It is possibly a misconception, some of which I create out of jest, but again here you have to be careful with every word you speak or you will be picked apart and destroyed

(As for "theatre" it could be fun to create a thread of..."the return of Dr. Viper", re-discovered dna and the house of horrors!) :biglaugh:

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You know you're in a cult if:

You're expected to drop everything for an Advanced Class and if you don't go (because of former plans) - you're not believing big enough.

You just might be in a cult if...your father is dying of pancreatic cancer, and you decide to go out of town to celebrate his (obviously final) birthday, instead of attending yet another "class"...and they tell you that you should go see your Dad "some other time" because you really need to be at this class?

Thankfully we stood our ground, skipped the class, and went to see my husband's Dad (he died 3 weeks later).

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It's not really that exciting...except once I send my driver to pick you up in Dakar. That's when it begins!

Get Your Shots! :biglaugh:

Dakar? Isn't that where people are shooting guns and throwing grenades? OH... wait, that's DARFUR!

but Dakar... a thriving metropolis of 2.5 million on the Cape Verde peninsula!

BTW... don't think that I didn't notice that you added a word and changed a word!

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IF you think it's perfectly okay for a 70 year old man to put a young woman's hand on his erection during a "Bible Class", you might be in a cult.

IF you think it's acceptable to "clock a woman like she deserves", you might be in a cult. <_<

IF you defend your husband for making the above statements, you might be in a cult.

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If you think it's fine for a church leader to show a pornographic scene from a pornographic movie to people in a leadership-training program,

you might be in a cult.

If you think it's fine for a church leader to show a pornographic scene from a pornographic movie to people in a class on Christian families,

you might be in a cult.

If you think it's worthwhile for a church leader to put together a class on "sex" for his congregation, and include stills from

pornographic movies and descriptions of bestiality,

you might be in a cult.

If you think it's fine for a church leader to own a pornographic pen and show it to youngsters he's teaching,

you might be in a cult.

If you think it's fine for a church leader to be married and come on to other women,

you might be in a cult.

If you hear that a church leader came on to other women, and you're primary response was

"he was trying to toughen them up spiritually",

you might be in a cult.

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If you think it's fine for a church leader to own a pornographic pen and show it to youngsters he's teaching,

you might be in a cult.

If you think it's fine for a church leader to be married and come on to other women,

you might be in a cult.

If you hear that a church leader came on to other women, and you're primary response was

"he was trying to toughen them up spiritually",

you might be in a cult.

I liked this - really... but I think instead of ending it with "you might be in a cult" it should be "you might be an arsehole" XP

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If the people in your "church" believe that you can be healed with only prayers and doctors don't know wtf they are talking about...

...you might be in a cult

If your "priest" *cough* tells his followers that medical doctors don't heal people and don't know what they are talking about... (I actually listened to this the other day on a tape)

...you might be in a cult

(Sorry if someone did this one before) If your priest has made the claim that people are dying all over the world (literally) just to hear the word of God like he is teaching it...

...you might be in a cult

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