Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

You Might Be In A Cult If........


igotout
 Share

Recommended Posts

If you know what "casually nice" means... you might be in a cult.

If you've ever sat through 3-4 hour meetings on a regular basis and been told that drinking water or having to use the bathroom during those meetings was an indication of your spiritual weakness and lack of preparation... you might be in a cult.

If you rate people's spirituality by the color of their nametag... you might be in a cult.

If someone quotes the King James Bible and you hear the translation according to usage in VPW's or LCM's voice go off in your head... you might be in a cult.

If you ever took a 2-week camping trip that included formalwear, a clothes rack, shelves, a playpen and a highchair, and called it "traveling light"... you might be in a cult.

If you know what "aerobic points" or "Benny's Wheat" are... you might be in a cult.

If you know every corny joke ever told by man... you might be in a cult.

If you think it's normal to put on a dress and heels and walk 1/4 mile across campus in the winter to hear a teaching... you might be in a cult.

If you've ever joined a monthly caravan of vehicles driving almost five hours in order to change clothes and listen to an hour-long teaching you will be getting a tape of in three days, and then change clothes and drive the five hours back home again in the same day...you might be in a cult.

If you've been told that the speeding ticket you received after being the "follow" car in a caravan lead by your speed-limit-blind leadership was due to your lack of believing... you might be in a cult.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 181
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Highway - very funny. Glad I did not live in the 250 mile radius. That would have been the end for me.

Your statement about going to the bathroon reminds me of a true incident of a guy who was in the 6th Corps.

He actually DID .... in his pants in the Emporia chapel soiling others near him in those wooden church pews as well! When asked why, he said he did not believe it was right to interrupt LCM's teaching. This is not made up!

You might be in a cult if ...... you .... all over yourself and others and you are not an infant. Ha!

We shoulda known somethng was wrong somehow....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When you stand as Leadership comes barreling down the ailes to teach for 1 1/2 hrs., and regretfully stand again when they exit, after your feet have fallen asleep.AAArrg!

When you used cloves as breath mints instead of tic-tacks. Because that is what leadership uses.

When V.Ps clone, Donny Fugi@, teaches the bible and you wish you could teach like him.

When you start smacking your lips at the end of a sentence or start saying leven instead of "eleven".

When Drambuie becomes your drink if choice.

When you have S.I.T for hours and your jaw is damn tired because you did it literally.

When you play SNS tapes while you sleep believing that osmosis works.

When you eat out dated twinkies, yesterdays smoked sausages and old pop-corn for dinner cause you can't afford food. You work at 7-11 and you beleive God has taken care all of your needs because you ABS this week.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

when you are told to pick someone up in a severe snowstorm driving about an hour and a half - because "they are family" and you cannot argue with that .....you might be in a cult

when you are told to drive people to a meeting and you say - my car is not working very well, and they say "believe God" and you do it nervously SIT (and not enjoying yourself or the meeting.....you might be in a cult

Link to comment
Share on other sites

...you took inventory of EVERYTHING in your house, including counting kitchen utensils and silverware, in order to be prepared (?) for a possible Jan. 1, 2000 melt-down.....

.... on that same New Year's Eve, you left a party early to be home by 10:00 p.m. as recommended by leadership, in order to avoid the chaos and riots....

....you watched some child being reproved by the 'rod' and did nothing to stop it (that still hurts my heart something fierce)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You burn your "cassettes" tapes of...Van Halan, Bruce Springstein, Styx, Edger Winter Group, Molly Hatchet, Ted Nugent, Alice Copper, Roberta Flack, Gladys Night and the Pips, Jefferson Airplain, Fleetwood Mac, Jimmy Buffet,

Spiral Gira(?), AC/DC, Bob James, Cheap Trick,

Journey, Billy Joel, Patty LaBell, Elton John, Led Zepplin And replace them with...

Takit, New Horizons, Cladette Royal, Stevie Kay, Good Seed, High country Caravan, All Aboard, Good Tidings, The three boys from Long Island,(?) Ted Ferrel and last but not least...V.P singing "Until Then."

What was I thinking? icon_confused.gif:confused:-->

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You might be in a cult if you throw away all your high school year books because you think that they are something from your past and that's a bad thing.

You might be in a cult if cleaning house means you check out all inanimate objects in your house to see if they're 'giving off something'.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you "drove yourself" to become better at speaking in tongues by way of "practice sessions", going through the alphabet, slowing down speeding up, LOUDER! softer! more vowels! more consonants! eyes open, eyes closed ........

you might be in a cult which believes that SIT is not made up.

*Yes, my lovely Hope told me the story years ago and made me laugh and laugh. I know it really happened, cuz she was sitting near this .... poor committed disciple. He received her wrath and I think a dry cleaning bill. Ha! . Just keep speaking in tongues for her and I am sure she will appear on this thread eventually to enlighten us further.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you sit still in a church pew and someone sitting next to you has peed in their pants and it's running down the pew behind you, getting you full of pee, and you don't get up and beat the cr@p out of him.... you might be in a cult.

When you later ask this person if they're feeling okay or do they need to be ministered to because they peed in their pants and you figured they must have a bladder condition or something - instead of beating the cr@p out of them for getting your brand-new coat sweater full of their pee.... you might be in a cult.

When this person tells you that they're fine, that they just didn't want to get up during the MOG's teaching but peed in their pants instead -- not giving a d@mn about the consequences of their stupidity and all you do is ask them to have your sweater dry-cleaned rather than beat the crap out of them... you might be in a cult.

When this person tells you they don't have the money and can't you just wash it and you don't blow your stack, beat the cr@p out of him and leave him for dead... you just might be in a cult.


It's true - it happened to me and R*s*y F*r*l*nd during our Corps "orientation" in the chapel. I think we'd been in-rez for about a week or so.

Craig was teaching. I was sitting on the end of the pew, R*s*y was next to me and Mr. Pee was next to him. All of a sudden I felt something wet behind me. It was running down the curve in the pew and dripping on the floor next to me. I asked R*s*y if he spilled a glass of water. He very quietly whispered - "the guy next to me just peed in his pants". I said "C'mon, what is it. My sweater is wet." Again, he said, with a bit more of an inflection in his whisper, "the guy next to me just peed in his pants!". I looked over him to the guy sitting next to him and the front of his WHITE COTTON pants was soaking wet. It was just then that LCM ended his teaching and the guy got up and fled the chapel. Neither one of us could catch up to him.

When I saw him at lunch, I asked him if he was okay - was there something wrong with him and could I minister to him? He said, "No, I'm fine. I just didn't want to get up while Craig was teaching. It would have been rude."

I looked at him with amazement and said "YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GET UP? You ruined my sweater!! You're going to have to get it dry cleaned for me or I can never wear it again."

He told me he had NONE of his $30 allowance left and I could probably wash it out. I was at a total loss for words. Then I told him he'd better get it dry-cleaned for me. He shrugged and walked into the cafeteria. I never wore that sweater again.

I will say that even though I didn't go to any "higher-ups" - I did share the incident with everyone I knew - and I named names. If nothing else, I sorta made sure that no one would want to sit near him again! (what a bee-atch!).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you hitch-hike 1000 miles in January during a snow storm and you go to truck stops to beg truckers for a ride because if you don't get to your destination at the appointed time you'll have to turn around and hitch-hike back to where you started.... you might be in a cult.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
When I saw him at lunch, I asked him if he was okay - was there something wrong with him and could I minister to him? He said, "No, I'm fine. I just didn't want to get up while Craig was teaching. It would have been rude."
Now there's someone more committed than I!

Care for another corps pee story?

I was seated in the library in September of 1975 during the first month of 6th corps training, and we were taking the PFAL class (already had taken it 10 times, so what). All at once, nature called. Right in the middle of a session with Wierwille teaching and no other sounds, in front of everyone, I got up and walked down the stairs to go to the bathroom.

As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I hear footsteps frantically rushing down the stairs. I thought, oh god. Looking back, I saw Bo Reahard, the class instructor. He said, "don't allow the adversary to talk you out of hearing the Word." I said "yes, but I have to go to the bathroom." He said "ok".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you refer to your religion's corporate location as "home"...

If the only pictures on your wall are of a dead religious leader you never met...

If your religion puts it's annual slogan into a poster...

If you buy that poster and hang it on your walls...

If you religion expects you to hang it on your wall because you're in leadership...

... you might be in a cult.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hope,

I'm not one to use a lot of chat room abbreviations, but FOFLMAO! Your description of each event in the series, punctuated by the APPROPRIATE response, was hysterical!

Maybe you and OldiesMan need to start a new thread: Bodily functions at The Way... icon_biggrin.gif:D--> icon_biggrin.gif:D--> icon_biggrin.gif:D-->

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just Thinking, yes it was Corps Evaluations.

One of the best parts of getting out of TWI was when the next March came around, and yippeee didn't have to go.

Although I did get a letter after I'd left, telling me to report to the newest branch coordinator who I'd never heard of. That's like being told to get your job review when you quit a year before.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you work for an organization all week, and at the end of the week you pay them ..

you might be in a cult.

If you go to endless meetings, meetings about other meetings, meetings about future meetings, and meetings about the meetings of future meetings

You might be in a cult

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...