Go over to a puddle an' rinse yer shoes clean, if ya really want to impress 'er, kick off yer shoes an' rinse yer socks too.
Then brush th' dried mud from yore cuffs an' knees.
Take off yore PeterBilt belt buckle and replace it with somethin' more romantic like a huntin' buckle, unless of course you know she likes them big-rig trucks.
Mosey on over to th' hamper an dig thru it 'til you find a t-shirt without too much mustard, relish or beer drippings on it. If'n it don't smell too ripe, it'l do.
Take off that greasy "I'm Your Sex Machine" cap, an' put on a less greasy Budweiser cap. If'n yuh really wanna impress her, reach way back 'n' pullout yore prized black Dale Earnhart #3 racing cap. (Make sure yew warshed yer hair maybe this week if'n yuh gonna wear Dale's cap, may God bless 'im.)
Now go outta th' trailer an' look at yore available transportation so's yew kin be Prince Charmin to yer Cindyreller. Thuh Gremlin is up on blocks 'cuz th' tires are way past bald. Th' '69 Dodge Dart, though a purdy dulled dayglow orange, don't hold it's water too good these days. Th' '57 Chevy dump truck don't run good unless ya keep th' speed up above 78 miles per hour, thet might make her nervous on th' twisty dirt back roads. Danged wimmens got weak stomaches on them whoop-de-doo roads.
I guess that brings it on down to th' '47Jeep with no top an' th' springs stickin'out of th' seat, ... naw. Thuh '71 Ford pick-em-up, nope, it's th' work truck, don't wanna move all those lunch wrappers, beer cans an' chicken bones outta the passenger footwell and seat.
Well... that leaves my hillbilly limo, the '61 Corvair Deluxe Greenbriar Van:
Kick out th' 11 cats thet live in it an' untape th' plastic windows to air it out some... run th' win'shield washer soz I kin see out front. yeah, this'l impress her, shucks, I might git lucky in th' back seat tonite......(Glad I wore th Dale Earnhart cap, even though i ain't warshed this month.)
Hmmmm.. cain't see the Jeep or Gremlin, oughta mow th' grass sometime soon.....
Yepper, startin tuh git ex-cited, its'a gonna be a good nite. Now should we go to Couzin Tyrone's Lard Fried BBQ Soul Food Shack or...
Cowboy Fred's Hillbilly Heaven Bar with the free peanuts and pickles. God I love them Red Hotz Weiners and Pickled Pigs Feet.
I've been doing the online dating thing and have had quite a few dates, but I never seem to get past the 3rd date. Sometimes, like you said Reikilady, it's that the chemistry just isn't there. Sometimes I have found the guy to be totally different in person than he was online. Other times they don't call me back and, for the life of me, I can't figure out why? :)--> I do like it when a guy doesn't play that waiting game before he calls to tell you he had a good time and ask you out again. How did I know Oak is a true gentleman who doesn't play games? He's a gem and I'm so happy for y'all!
Cindy!, I dip my hamburgers in ketchup because you can't get enough on the burger. :D--> I sorta save that revelation for some time after the first date though. I've learned from TWI that it can drive me crazy (literally) trying to be what someone else wants me to be, so I'm really monitor myself to make sure I'm not compromising who I am. Someone is going to have to love me warts and all, afterall, my best friends do, surely there's a guy out there who will too.
Goey, thank you! I have had oysters and beer on a first date, and it didn't turn out bad. We're actually good friends now. I am pretty laid back, but I thought that might be a bit too casual. I guess not. Maybe next time I should make them smoked....maybe it'll turn out like you and Cowgirl.
Zshot, I NEVER order a salad on a first date. Like Vickles said, sometimes the lettuce is too big and I know guys think that's a prissy thing to order. It reeks of "high maintenance" in that if she's going to order a salad, she's going to constantly ask if her butt looks big in her size 4 jeans.
Abigail, so the garlic crusted curry salmon would be a bad idea? :)-->
Steve! I'm all too aware of how dangerous it is to make the people handling your food mad. I've also been victim to a friend sending her steak back 3 times because it wasn't burnt enough for her. -->
Radar, sometimes I've met the guy through friends, other times it's someone from online who I haven't met yet. I just found out my boss meets them for appetizers and drinks after work or a lunch date for the first time (3 of us in my office are using match.com). I see your point and there are lots of places around here to do the patio/coffee meeting. Hadn't thought about that.
Paw, that's a genius idea! If he's watching where he's going then he can't see me with mustard all over my face. :D--> I like the way you think!
dmiller, it was sort of just an advice question. I'm pretty paranoid about spilling food, getting it on my face, or looking like a dork trying to eat gracefullyl on the first date. I'm a big believer in first impressions and, while I like to be myself, I'm trying to figure out what's not going to stress me out food-wise so I can concentrate more on my date than on my food.
Suz, it's been so long I had to look it up and do some research on "date" before I remembered what it was.
dabobbada, There's something wimmen like about a pick-up man. The huntin' buckle jes might be a bit more dressy though. And the #3 Dale cap? fer me??? I'd be awfully impressed if a guy chose that one over the Budweiser cap.
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dabobbada
Will.... nowww.........
fer a first date?
Go over to a puddle an' rinse yer shoes clean, if ya really want to impress 'er, kick off yer shoes an' rinse yer socks too.
Then brush th' dried mud from yore cuffs an' knees.
Take off yore PeterBilt belt buckle and replace it with somethin' more romantic like a huntin' buckle, unless of course you know she likes them big-rig trucks.
Mosey on over to th' hamper an dig thru it 'til you find a t-shirt without too much mustard, relish or beer drippings on it. If'n it don't smell too ripe, it'l do.
Take off that greasy "I'm Your Sex Machine" cap, an' put on a less greasy Budweiser cap. If'n yuh really wanna impress her, reach way back 'n' pullout yore prized black Dale Earnhart #3 racing cap. (Make sure yew warshed yer hair maybe this week if'n yuh gonna wear Dale's cap, may God bless 'im.)
Now go outta th' trailer an' look at yore available transportation so's yew kin be Prince Charmin to yer Cindyreller. Thuh Gremlin is up on blocks 'cuz th' tires are way past bald. Th' '69 Dodge Dart, though a purdy dulled dayglow orange, don't hold it's water too good these days. Th' '57 Chevy dump truck don't run good unless ya keep th' speed up above 78 miles per hour, thet might make her nervous on th' twisty dirt back roads. Danged wimmens got weak stomaches on them whoop-de-doo roads.
I guess that brings it on down to th' '47Jeep with no top an' th' springs stickin'out of th' seat, ... naw. Thuh '71 Ford pick-em-up, nope, it's th' work truck, don't wanna move all those lunch wrappers, beer cans an' chicken bones outta the passenger footwell and seat.
Well... that leaves my hillbilly limo, the '61 Corvair Deluxe Greenbriar Van:
Kick out th' 11 cats thet live in it an' untape th' plastic windows to air it out some... run th' win'shield washer soz I kin see out front. yeah, this'l impress her, shucks, I might git lucky in th' back seat tonite......(Glad I wore th Dale Earnhart cap, even though i ain't warshed this month.)
Hmmmm.. cain't see the Jeep or Gremlin, oughta mow th' grass sometime soon.....
Yepper, startin tuh git ex-cited, its'a gonna be a good nite. Now should we go to Couzin Tyrone's Lard Fried BBQ Soul Food Shack or...
Cowboy Fred's Hillbilly Heaven Bar with the free peanuts and pickles. God I love them Red Hotz Weiners and Pickled Pigs Feet.
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Belle
Y'all are wonderful! Thank you so much!!!
I've been doing the online dating thing and have had quite a few dates, but I never seem to get past the 3rd date. Sometimes, like you said Reikilady, it's that the chemistry just isn't there. Sometimes I have found the guy to be totally different in person than he was online. Other times they don't call me back and, for the life of me, I can't figure out why?
:)--> I do like it when a guy doesn't play that waiting game before he calls to tell you he had a good time and ask you out again. How did I know Oak is a true gentleman who doesn't play games? He's a gem and I'm so happy for y'all!
Cindy!, I dip my hamburgers in ketchup because you can't get enough on the burger.
:D--> I sorta save that revelation for some time after the first date though. I've learned from TWI that it can drive me crazy (literally) trying to be what someone else wants me to be, so I'm really monitor myself to make sure I'm not compromising who I am. Someone is going to have to love me warts and all, afterall, my best friends do, surely there's a guy out there who will too.
Goey, thank you! I have had oysters and beer on a first date, and it didn't turn out bad. We're actually good friends now. I am pretty laid back, but I thought that might be a bit too casual. I guess not. Maybe next time I should make them smoked....maybe it'll turn out like you and Cowgirl.
Zshot, I NEVER order a salad on a first date. Like Vickles said, sometimes the lettuce is too big and I know guys think that's a prissy thing to order. It reeks of "high maintenance" in that if she's going to order a salad, she's going to constantly ask if her butt looks big in her size 4 jeans.
Abigail, so the garlic crusted curry salmon would be a bad idea?
:)-->
Steve! I'm all too aware of how dangerous it is to make the people handling your food mad. I've also been victim to a friend sending her steak back 3 times because it wasn't burnt enough for her.
-->
Radar, sometimes I've met the guy through friends, other times it's someone from online who I haven't met yet. I just found out my boss meets them for appetizers and drinks after work or a lunch date for the first time (3 of us in my office are using match.com). I see your point and there are lots of places around here to do the patio/coffee meeting. Hadn't thought about that.
Paw, that's a genius idea! If he's watching where he's going then he can't see me with mustard all over my face.
:D--> I like the way you think!
dmiller, it was sort of just an advice question. I'm pretty paranoid about spilling food, getting it on my face, or looking like a dork trying to eat gracefullyl on the first date. I'm a big believer in first impressions and, while I like to be myself, I'm trying to figure out what's not going to stress me out food-wise so I can concentrate more on my date than on my food.
Suz, it's been so long I had to look it up and do some research on "date" before I remembered what it was.
dabobbada, There's something wimmen like about a pick-up man. The huntin' buckle jes might be a bit more dressy though. And the #3 Dale cap? fer me??? I'd be awfully impressed if a guy chose that one over the Budweiser cap.
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