wow you guys are a tough crowd. It sounds to me like he thinks his marriage and his wife are far more important to him than money. Which is how it should be.
If my significant other got mad at me for spending money in an attempt to repair or salvage our relationship, out of love for him, I'd have to rethink the relationship and what his priorities are.
I would have done like that old SNL spoof and "said it with helium"....Who could resist a guy in a munchkin voice saying "honey,come back to your little buttercup"?
Z, I think Abi is talking about the gesture more than the price. It appears as though this guy has no other way to get in touch with her. I think it's wonderful that he didn't just give up because she changed her number and made it that much more difficult to talk to him.
Someone who spends $17K on an ad has the money to spend on it. I've worked for a newspaper before and they require payment up front from new customers and private citizens - especially that kind of money.
Nowhere did I say forgiveness can be bought and sold. Can you show me where I said that?
What I said was: "If my significant other got mad at me for spending money in an attempt to repair or salvage our relationship, out of love for him, I'd have to rethink the relationship and what his priorities are. "
Would I be whoring myself out if I spent money on a counsellor? Would I be whoring myself out if I spent money on a romantic night out? Or a book I know he would really enjoy? Would I be whoring myself out if I dressed in something sexy to please my significant other?
Have none of you ever done such things with your spouse/partner? Were YOU whoring yourself out?
Is it the motive or the amount of money that matters most?
I suppose - to some extent the answer to all of the above would depend on the context and situation.
The point was, this guy seems to have not just inwardly acknowledged that he screwed up, but publicly acknowledged it. Additionally, by his actions he said money is no object and nothing is more important to him than his wife.
Finally, he has gone to great lengths to try to communicate his feelings to her.
The responses posted here would indicate that a number of people would be ....ed if their spouse spent that kind of money on them. But no one has bothered to consider WHAT this guy is trying to say to his wife.
On the otherhand, he could be an abusive stalker - sick and twisted. But I am basing my opinion only on what I have perceived from the story posted. So far there has been no information given that would lead me to believe his is an abusive stalker.
I hate that word "whore". There are few words in the english language that can set me off more than that one.
"Is there a price list published somewhere?"
Is there a price list for how much is too much? how much is too little? If I spend $5000 on a gift is it too much? If I spend $5 is it too little and I am then a cheapskate? Or is it the thought and motive that matters.
I've received gifts, both expensive and inexpensive - the price wasn't what was important to me - it was the thought and heart behind the gift. It isn't the amount of money said that sparks an emotional response from me, it is the message behind the gift.
Likewise when giving a gift, I do not spend time worrying over if it costs too much or too little. When I purchase a gift I am doing so to say something. I could be, "I'm sorry" or it could be "I love your" or "I am thinking about you" or even "I am showing my support for you in this new endeavor you have taken up".
If I purchased a gift in an attempt to express an HONEST and GENUINE emotion or thought and my partner got ....ed because I spent too much money, I'd have to wonder if they were more concerned about the money or the relationship.
There is a difference between spending money to "buy someone's forgivness" and spending money to express something - even an apology. I guess ultimately only the giver (and hopefully the recipient) will understand which was the motive.
This is sort of off-topic,but isn't there sort of a 'guideline' that a young man should spend roughly three months salary on his bride-to-be's engagement ring?...If so,where did that come from?...That seems like a lot of dollars to spend to express one's love....
Recommended Posts
Zshot
I wonder if he figured that doing this would be cheeper than fileing for divorce?
I guess after being married for 17 years, I guess that they didn't have a pre-nuptual agreement signed...
-->
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pirate1974
Well, you have to give him credit for trying, I guess. He must have screwed up big time to have to go to this extreme.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ex70sHouston
We all make mistakes. I just think its great that he thinks its worth that much to save his marriage.
I think my top price would be $5.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
outandabout
If it were me, I'd be ....ed he spent $17,000 on an ad.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
ex70's don't let your wife read that !!!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Zshot
Me too!!!
If i were here...
I would say, if you waste $17,000.000 on an ad, you are too stupid to be with!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
outandabout
He probably used a credit card.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Abigail
wow you guys are a tough crowd. It sounds to me like he thinks his marriage and his wife are far more important to him than money. Which is how it should be.
If my significant other got mad at me for spending money in an attempt to repair or salvage our relationship, out of love for him, I'd have to rethink the relationship and what his priorities are.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
outandabout
Sorry, guess I'm just old and cynical.
It would still .... me off though, especially if we didn't have the money.
Maybe if he used it to buy me a new car......
Link to comment
Share on other sites
simonzelotes
I would have done like that old SNL spoof and "said it with helium"....Who could resist a guy in a munchkin voice saying "honey,come back to your little buttercup"?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Zshot
Abigail,
Are you saying that forgivness can be bought and sold?
Is there a price list published somewhere?
Why not just give her the money?
I thought that if marriage were to work it would require: time, effort, commitment, love, etc... Not allot of disposable income.
IMO, somebody who needs money to be spent on them to give forgiveness is basically a whore.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
Link to comment
Share on other sites
jardinero
Yeah, makes me melt and tear right up, Simon!
;)-->
J.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Belle
Z, I think Abi is talking about the gesture more than the price. It appears as though this guy has no other way to get in touch with her. I think it's wonderful that he didn't just give up because she changed her number and made it that much more difficult to talk to him.
Someone who spends $17K on an ad has the money to spend on it. I've worked for a newspaper before and they require payment up front from new customers and private citizens - especially that kind of money.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Abigail
Geez, like I said - tough crowd.
Nowhere did I say forgiveness can be bought and sold. Can you show me where I said that?
What I said was: "If my significant other got mad at me for spending money in an attempt to repair or salvage our relationship, out of love for him, I'd have to rethink the relationship and what his priorities are. "
Would I be whoring myself out if I spent money on a counsellor? Would I be whoring myself out if I spent money on a romantic night out? Or a book I know he would really enjoy? Would I be whoring myself out if I dressed in something sexy to please my significant other?
Have none of you ever done such things with your spouse/partner? Were YOU whoring yourself out?
Is it the motive or the amount of money that matters most?
I suppose - to some extent the answer to all of the above would depend on the context and situation.
The point was, this guy seems to have not just inwardly acknowledged that he screwed up, but publicly acknowledged it. Additionally, by his actions he said money is no object and nothing is more important to him than his wife.
Finally, he has gone to great lengths to try to communicate his feelings to her.
The responses posted here would indicate that a number of people would be ....ed if their spouse spent that kind of money on them. But no one has bothered to consider WHAT this guy is trying to say to his wife.
On the otherhand, he could be an abusive stalker - sick and twisted. But I am basing my opinion only on what I have perceived from the story posted. So far there has been no information given that would lead me to believe his is an abusive stalker.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
simonzelotes
But then again,she could have dumped him because he did such a ....-poor job of managing the family finances....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
ha ha simon !!!!!
**
i'm with you on this one, abi
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Abigail
I hate that word "whore". There are few words in the english language that can set me off more than that one.
"Is there a price list published somewhere?"
Is there a price list for how much is too much? how much is too little? If I spend $5000 on a gift is it too much? If I spend $5 is it too little and I am then a cheapskate? Or is it the thought and motive that matters.
I've received gifts, both expensive and inexpensive - the price wasn't what was important to me - it was the thought and heart behind the gift. It isn't the amount of money said that sparks an emotional response from me, it is the message behind the gift.
Likewise when giving a gift, I do not spend time worrying over if it costs too much or too little. When I purchase a gift I am doing so to say something. I could be, "I'm sorry" or it could be "I love your" or "I am thinking about you" or even "I am showing my support for you in this new endeavor you have taken up".
If I purchased a gift in an attempt to express an HONEST and GENUINE emotion or thought and my partner got ....ed because I spent too much money, I'd have to wonder if they were more concerned about the money or the relationship.
There is a difference between spending money to "buy someone's forgivness" and spending money to express something - even an apology. I guess ultimately only the giver (and hopefully the recipient) will understand which was the motive.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
simonzelotes
This is sort of off-topic,but isn't there sort of a 'guideline' that a young man should spend roughly three months salary on his bride-to-be's engagement ring?...If so,where did that come from?...That seems like a lot of dollars to spend to express one's love....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
not if he works at pizza hut
Link to comment
Share on other sites
simonzelotes
It's still relative,excie,unless she's a relative,in which case I'm sure a chicken or a pig would suffice...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
well... I think the guy's a little (how does my Mexican wife say it?)... mandelone (man-dee-lone)...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steve!
I thought it was (phonetically) mah-ree-cone?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Abigail
No Simon, you missed the point - if he works at pizza hut he better be saving for more than three months.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.