My family goes to great lengths to be together at Christmas (family being Parents, Siblings and Grand Parents). When one of us can't be off long enough to make it home for Christmas we go to that person's home.
We'll sleep on the floor, on the couch, air mattresses, get hotel rooms - whatever, just to be together. When I first graduated from college and during my TWIt days my family frequently make the trek over hundreds and/or thousands of miles to be with me so we could be together at Christmas.
This year my Daddy paid for the kids to fly to Grandma and Paw Paw's house for Christmas. We had flight delays and other very minor inconveniences, but everyone was together and took it in very good humor. (It just gave us more to laugh about. We dubbed this year the "Christmas of Unfortunate Events"). We don't really care what we're eating or where, as long as we're all together.
We share so many stories, humor and fun that all of us have to relax our smile muscles to get rid of face cramps from laughing so much when we're together. Now that the kids are older, we enjoy hearing Grandma and Paw Paw talk about the "good old days" and even ask them to share things with us. This year my Paw Paw pulled out a picture of him and my Grandma when they were about 19 and Paw Paw was a week out from joining the war - they were working at the sugar cane mill with my great grandfather I never got to meet. The picture is great, not only for the people, but the history and visual of how they did things back then. We all got copies made at Walgreens and I can't wait to find the perfect frame for it.
Traditions regardless of where we are:
- Family picture - every year without fail
- Christmas Day Movie - Daddy always picks out the movie, time and location (you don't even TRY to take that responsibility from him ;)--> )
- If we're at my Grandparents - Vesper Service on Christmas Eve
- If we're in my town, Christmas Even dinner at my Daddy's favorite restaurant
Some years the gifts are grand and some years the gifts are few and inexpensive. We don't open any gifts until after Christmas Dinner, which was HE11 when we were kids. We cherish watching the face of the person opening their gift that we open our presents one at a time so the giver can watch the recipient open his/her gift. The watching and giving part are the favorites of each one of us. Gifts are always chosen with care and concern for the recipient and it shows.
I am so glad to be able to enjoy this time fully with my family again. We've always done it, but I haven't always been completely there because of my way-brain.
Thanks Belle. Your family does it the way it ought to be done, in my opinion. There's no one right way, but there are right ways and wrong ways. Making the most of it, that's the right way.
My mom always made Christmas special, it was her favorite holiday. Being Jewish, she didn't get to celebrate it as a child, so she made the most of it as an adult.
She died December 22, 1990. Since then, I have taken over the task of carrying on the Christmas tradition in our family. Some things we kept, many have changed, but we try to keep the emotion of it the same.
The tree gets decorated with the ornaments we made with my mom as children. Added to that are the ornaments my own kids have made.
The emphasis with the gifts is on the kids, the food is for us. Bagels, lox, eggs, the favorite foods mom made for us when we were growing up.
My siblings and I gather under one roof, no arguing, no complaining. We visit, we eat, we play with the kids. It is hectic and exhausting. I love it while it is happening and I am very thankful for when it is over as well.
I think having kids makes a difference, but even without kids to think about, it's got its comfort zones. You don't HAVE to go in debt, or spoil your kids with too many gifts just cause it's Christmas. I like making my kids happy, but I don't have to go to extremes to do so.
Hey, didja notice that, yes, TWI railed on Christmas all the time with stuff like Merry Christ is dead, happy ho ho, reproving people for even saying the words 'Christmas' and 'Easter', etc. but they didn't dare to go out of their way to mess with people's schedules like they did other holidays. They'd schedule stuff for Easter and Thanksgiving; even had a limb leader schedule a limb meeting on New Year's day once, but they didn't DARE have region meetings or anything like that anywhere close to Dec. 25th.
We had a good time on the 24th. We drove thru a catholic shrine near us that has a super light show every year. Kids loved it.
I voted "I like it" because I figured that was the closest to an average of the parts I love and the parts I don't like so much.
For me, the holiday is all about family. It's a time to reflect on so many Christmases of the past, when the family was much larger, and to be together and be thankful for each other. Even when I was out WOW, my parents and youngest sister came to where we lived, their station wagon loaded down with goodies.
We altered a couple traditions this year, which made life simpler for all of us! Christmas traditions are only changed in our family by dispensation of the matriarch, my mom.
Always in the past we've gathered on Christmas Eve for dinner and just to hang out and maybe play a game or two. We never opened gifts on that night; that activity was reserved for the Christmas Morning Unwrapping Extravaganza, which used to go on for about 4 hours (proper, polite Brit-types that we are, we open our presents one by one while everyone watches each person open each gift).
Because of the obnoxious snow storm of '04, Mom suggested that we break tradition (you can't know how much this shocked her children and grandchildren) and have the Unwrapping Extravaganze on Christmas Eve, so that my son and I wouldn't have to rush back to Mom and Dad's house at the crack of dawn in the frigid cold. (We usually do that, so the festivities can proceed bright and early, before any of the younger family members burst a blood vessel in anxious anticipation.)
This new plan allowed my son and me to relax in the morning, open our gifts to each other, eat a real breakfast, and head back to the family home in time for lunch.
Another thing we did was agree that we'd only buy gifts for the grandchildren and for my mentally handicapped younger sister. This not only saved money, but it also relieved the stress of searching high and low for the hard-to-buy-for adults in the family. Two pluses!
I must admit, I love giving gifts so it was hard to restrain myself, but it sure was easier this way!
We have a few traditions unique to us. When my eldest nephew was about 4, someone gave my dad a new garden hose for his birthday. My nephew was so excited that he blurted out, as Dad was opening it, "It's a 'ose, it's a 'ose!" So now that phrase pops out of one kid or another several times during the Unwrapping Extravaganza.
We also place luminaries along the driveway every year and leave cookies and milk for Santa and a carrot for his reindeer. We always tease my middle sister, now in her late 40s, who still swears she heard jingling bells and saw Santa and his sleigh soaring over the Cleveland Ford Plant. We eat too much, we laugh a lot (never can laugh too much!) and we remember those who used to share in the eating and the laughing and the love.
Hmmmm, in putting this into words, I realize that the annoying parts--the shopping and wrapping and the trying to bake cookies with limited time and the occasional sarcasm we dole out to each other when stressed over the whole thing--are not bad enough to bring my rating down to "I like it." I'm officially changing my vote to "I love it."
This year was very special. Lots of food and the first time my daughter, Oak, and myself celebrated Christmas together.
What took the stress out of Christmas for me this year was a little bit of planning and a good attitude. I actually enjoyed wrapping gifts and my daughter rearranged the living room so we had enough room to spread out a little.
Last year was very nice, too. Went to a theatre to see "Return of the King" with Oak. "White Chicks" was watched on the VCR and it was pure mindless entertainment, this year.
author unknown~~~I was a clipped Blue & Gold Macaw (Ara ararauna). Finally after years of captivity, I flew to the floor and on until my wings could fly me as far I have never been and further.
Back when I was but an acorn, Christmas was a fun, family time. The house was decorated, inside and out, and we always had a decorated Christmas tree. I don't recall much of what we did on Xmas Eve, but we always got up early to tear into our presents, and then off to church.
In those days all but one or two of our clan lived nearby, so it wasn't too difficult to get together for the a big meal on Christmas Day.
During my TWI days we celebrated in varying ways. The Way didn't usually schedule anything, although we would get together with people from our fellowship from time to time. One year we decorated the tree and one of the kids asked where the star was, so I put a picture of Bob Dylan on top. For several years a different "star" went on top of the tree.
We tried to do different fun things on Christmas & Christmas Eve. One year we rented a bunch of movies and stayed up all night watching, with a break to do our paper routes. Another year we rented a hotel room where they had a pool and had a pool party pot luck.
2001 was horrible, however. I was recently (6 weeks) separated, my kids didn't want to see me and I had no friends. Even though the store was closed I went in to work, got on the computer, and hung out in the Grease Spot chat room :D--> I don't remember for sure who was there, but there was a few folks to talk to. Abigail & I had goten to be friends, so we talked on the phone. Other than that it was a miserable day at my old hovel :(-->
2002 was slightly better. I was still at the hovel, still alone, but I decided to cook a nice dinner for myself. I had a bottle of Jack Daniels and a couple of quarts of egg nog and found out that they went well together. I attended midnight mass in a decidedly jolly mood. I went out the next day and watched "The Two Towers" at the local theater.
2003 was as reikilady described it, and much better than previous years.
2004 was great. A family dinner with reiklady and her daughter. Even though there were only three of us, we had cooked a variety of foods, so we were all pretty full while opening gifts and had plenty of leftovers for Saturday.
Maybe the thread should be called Redeeming Christmas. I'm liking it more having read these first few posts. Hope there's more to come.
Of course, Christmas is an opportunity for some and a great emotional (and probably financial) imposition upon others. Why do you think there is such a range, among those of us who grew up in or around this ancient festival in its contemporary form? Does the fact that it is (by our standards) ancient give it more or less power to draw us in?
So far, the redeeming factor is people, particularly family, gathering together to create and share a good time, and to make something memorable for all. I've forgotten a lot of Christmases. And a lot of other stuff. Intentionally, at some level, I think. I'm going to go back and try to recall them, if they're still there, knowing they weren't all good, or bad.
Tell us a story. What is your Christmas like? Does it work? If so, why? Does faith make it happen, or is it the people? Is it the near universal agreement to participate in this quasi-Christian festival, like a more subdued Mardi Gras? A chance to be foolish, together, in a good way?
At this moment in time my son is here chatting with a friend in CA on a laptop while I'm chatting with you here. That's Christmas for me right now. Having him this close, hearing him chuckle whenever whoever he is chatting with tickles him.
Knowing he rests better here than anywhere else. And not having to entertain him, because he's family, he isn't here to take only but to give.
If if weren't for him here I'd be tempted to think of a couple cares I have. His being here and feeling comfortable enough to do what he might possibly be doing at home (chatting with friends online) is what makes this Christmas meaningful to me. Not the gifts or the fancy treats to eat. But the sweetness of true fellowship.
At this moment in time my son is here chatting with a friend in CA on a laptop while I'm chatting with you here. That's Christmas for me right now. Having him this close, hearing him chuckle whenever whoever he is chatting with tickles him.
Knowing he rests better here than anywhere else. And not having to entertain him, because he's family, he isn't here to take only but to give.
If if weren't for him here I'd be tempted to think of a couple cares I have. His being here and feeling comfortable enough to do what he might possibly be doing at home (chatting with friends online) is what makes this Christmas meaningful to me. Not the gifts or the fancy treats to eat. But the sweetness of true fellowship.
==============================================
That may be the most beautiful christmas story I've heard!
A childhood friend just left, so that's a big part of what Christmas is about this year.
My wife & I went to a candlelight Christmas service this year - first time in many years we've been to any type of Christmas service. It was a simple service with a simple message about the hope of salvation that Jesus' birth was to those shepherds who were told about it and who then spread word of his birth - symbolized by everyone helping everyone else light there candle - spreading the light. Simple was good; we were ready for it. It touched something too deep to be ruined or replaced by commerciality no matter how prevalent it is.
My relationship with my folks has gone full circle. We have a relationship that is as sweet and unassuming as it was when I was young.
All those things, and more, have brushed in Christmas this season with a lively air that defies age, distance, generations, or man's stupidity.
I've had Christmas without my children a number of times - really sucks. This year, they've participated in my Christmas as adults fully under their own intitiative for the first time.
My wife is proving herself to be truly beautiful.
I suppose these things don't all have to be bound up intrinsically in the bag called Christmas, but they are for me this year, and they all fit well in the bag.
Merry Christmas. The message of the angels was "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
A childhood friend just left, so that's a big part of what Christmas is about this year.
My wife & I went to a candlelight Christmas service this year - first time in many years we've been to any type of Christmas service. It was a simple service with a simple message about the hope of salvation that Jesus' birth was to those shepherds who were told about it and who then spread word of his birth - symbolized by everyone helping everyone else light there candle - spreading the light. Simple was good; we were ready for it. It touched something too deep to be ruined or replaced by commerciality no matter how prevalent it is.
My relationship with my folks has gone full circle. We have a relationship that is as sweet and unassuming as it was when I was young.
All those things, and more, have brushed in Christmas this season with a lively air that defies age, distance, generations, or man's stupidity.
I've had Christmas without my children a number of times - really sucks. This year, they've participated in my Christmas as adults fully under their own intitiative for the first time.
My wife is proving herself to be truly beautiful.
I suppose these things don't all have to be bound up intrinsically in the bag called Christmas, but they are for me this year, and they all fit well in the bag.
Merry Christmas. The message of the angels was "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
"Does Christmas bring home all the good things we've lost, like ghosts haunting us from the glitter?"
??????
"Christmas is a good time to be impractical, and a little impulsive. Then again, I bought no gifts at all for any adults this year. Got off cheap. We entertained. And entertain still."
We are not impulsive in gift giving. But then again if I need something, or Bonnie, then I get it, the time, season or holiday does not matter. So when it comes to Christmas I dont need anything.
Bonnie and I each go and buy soemthing for ourselves, so that Bonnie has something to 'give' me and I have something to give her. Mostly for the benefit of the children.
The little ones get way out of control during the season.
My goodness the advertizing, the encouragement from the school district, the encouragement from Social Services: go crazy, beg people for every toy, every shoe, everything that you dont need and that you will destroy the following day. Bahh.
"Christmas is nothing more than a set of expectations and a week or so to realize them, or try. If we are smart about it, we learn which expectations to keep, and which ones to lose."
I would not consider those to be 'smart' expectations either.
"Christmas hasn't been about spiritual renewal for me for a long time. Peace on Earth?...."
What? we fight wars, we have fought wars for many years. We even fight religous wars, who cares? I often still see blood on my hands. Damn there are times, I just can't get any good sleep. Peace you say? No, there is no peace.
". . . Pope mutters about giving, and love, and sacrifice, from his house of gold, jewels and priceless art treasures."
Yes there is one source of in-justice.
"It's hard to take that old clown seriously, .... Suffer the little children."
True, does anyone really take him seriously?
"So it's more about people setting time aside to enjoy one another's company, if such a thing is possible. And of course, it is, if you are with the right people."
Is that not what we should do weekly? Why wait for X-mas.
"But I'm more interested in what makes a Christmas merry, or misery, for you."
As a child, Christmas break meant no school so more work.
Since adulthood, most of my Christmases have been either underwater or working shift-work. I did have off during Christmas in 1979, then again I think in 1984 and 1985 I did have Christmas off both years to enjoy my wife, but not after then until 2001. The last couple years, I have been kind of 'lost' during the holidays.
But raising foster-children, is demanding; I realize that they have gone through a lot of loss in their lives, but everyone spoils them so much, it does not teach any kind of stewardship. "Who cares, I can destroy everything and the social workers will just replace it all again next week" is a common theme.
"My goodness the advertizing, the encouragement from the school district, the encouragement from Social Services: go crazy, beg people for every toy, every shoe, everything that you dont need and that you will destroy the following day. Bahh."
We don't get lavish for the adults - gourmet coffees, homemade cookies or other goodies. One year I canned a bunch of Matzo ball soup and mailed some to my brother and dad.
1000Names taught me by example to purchase gifts which show support for one's endeavors. This year my main gifts to him were a CD set on how to play piano by ear and a workout mat. He got me something I would never have bought for myself, but really wanted - gold earrings and a digital camera to push me into the "new millenium".
For the kids it is one of my biannual clean out times (the other being birthdays). I go through all of their toys and throw away the broken or incomplete things, donate the toys they've out-grown and make room for the new.
This year the boys were both old enough to go through some fliers and put their initials next to the things they wanted. I think we picked one or two items from their "really really want it list" and then picked out a few other things that I thought they would enjoy longer. Most of the time the stuff on their "I want" list consists of toys I know they will be bored with in ten minutes.
This year my choices were a couple of small additions to their castle set, a rock polisher for Aaron (who had a bedroom full of rocks just begging to be polished), a gameboy for Jacob (Aaron already has one and I've found them to be a lifesaver on long road trips - also, I bought it used for about 1/2 of what it would have cost new), some board games - things we can enjoy together.
Basically I see my Christmas shopping as an endeavor to find activities they can enjoy during the winter season (especially during those times when there is no snow, or it is too muddy or cold to play outside)because come summer they will be too busy swimming, biking, etc. to play with toys.
Also, because we have two boys who are so close in age, the issue of fairness can be a huge one. Usually, if I am buying something I know they will both want and it is too expensive to purchase in pairs, then I make it a joint gift.
Saves me the financial stress of figuring out how to pay for it all and teaches the boys how to share. :)-->
"Basically I see my Christmas shopping as an endeavor to find activities they can enjoy during the winter season ... because come summer they will be too busy swimming, biking, etc. to play with toys."
That sounds nice.
We just went through a rougher than usual season.
The last day of school the 12 year old [samantha] come home from school with her backpack filled with more clothing and her arms loaded down. She had 3 more pairs of boots, and sweaters and pants. She is just so used to beggin people for clothing, that her class-mates will give her the stuff right off their backs. This time she even had an effect on her school teachers. Being in a 'middle-school' this year, she has 6 different teachers. Bonnie goes through the ward-robes of each child and inventorys all their stuff, so we know that Samantha has a wardrobe that fits her and she can go 2 weeks without having to repeat any item of clothing. But the little girl still has to be forced to change her clothes each day, and she will consistantly beg her friends for more clothing.
8 year old Alan, steals from every classmate. Daily we find stuff in his backpack, broken toys even turned in homework from other children. In Novemeber, I made the mistake [on the advise from Alan's therapist] of going a week without checking his backpack. He had collected a solid 6 inches of toys in the bottom of his backpack. None of them were from his stash of toys. It was all from school.
Then the school runs a program funded by area churches, where the children get new snow boots. We try to teach the children, but the school wants to play 'santa' to all foster children, regardless of the fact that the children are living in someone's family and I buy them shoes that fit. So they all end up with non-fitting snoe shoes curtesy of someone's goodwill.
No matter Tuesday the 28th the foster chidren were shipped out.
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Belle
My family goes to great lengths to be together at Christmas (family being Parents, Siblings and Grand Parents). When one of us can't be off long enough to make it home for Christmas we go to that person's home.
We'll sleep on the floor, on the couch, air mattresses, get hotel rooms - whatever, just to be together. When I first graduated from college and during my TWIt days my family frequently make the trek over hundreds and/or thousands of miles to be with me so we could be together at Christmas.
This year my Daddy paid for the kids to fly to Grandma and Paw Paw's house for Christmas. We had flight delays and other very minor inconveniences, but everyone was together and took it in very good humor. (It just gave us more to laugh about. We dubbed this year the "Christmas of Unfortunate Events"). We don't really care what we're eating or where, as long as we're all together.
We share so many stories, humor and fun that all of us have to relax our smile muscles to get rid of face cramps from laughing so much when we're together. Now that the kids are older, we enjoy hearing Grandma and Paw Paw talk about the "good old days" and even ask them to share things with us. This year my Paw Paw pulled out a picture of him and my Grandma when they were about 19 and Paw Paw was a week out from joining the war - they were working at the sugar cane mill with my great grandfather I never got to meet. The picture is great, not only for the people, but the history and visual of how they did things back then. We all got copies made at Walgreens and I can't wait to find the perfect frame for it.
Traditions regardless of where we are:
- Family picture - every year without fail
- Christmas Day Movie - Daddy always picks out the movie, time and location (you don't even TRY to take that responsibility from him
;)--> )
- If we're at my Grandparents - Vesper Service on Christmas Eve
- If we're in my town, Christmas Even dinner at my Daddy's favorite restaurant
Some years the gifts are grand and some years the gifts are few and inexpensive. We don't open any gifts until after Christmas Dinner, which was HE11 when we were kids. We cherish watching the face of the person opening their gift that we open our presents one at a time so the giver can watch the recipient open his/her gift. The watching and giving part are the favorites of each one of us. Gifts are always chosen with care and concern for the recipient and it shows.
I am so glad to be able to enjoy this time fully with my family again. We've always done it, but I haven't always been completely there because of my way-brain.
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satori001
Thanks Belle. Your family does it the way it ought to be done, in my opinion. There's no one right way, but there are right ways and wrong ways. Making the most of it, that's the right way.
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Abigail
My mom always made Christmas special, it was her favorite holiday. Being Jewish, she didn't get to celebrate it as a child, so she made the most of it as an adult.
She died December 22, 1990. Since then, I have taken over the task of carrying on the Christmas tradition in our family. Some things we kept, many have changed, but we try to keep the emotion of it the same.
The tree gets decorated with the ornaments we made with my mom as children. Added to that are the ornaments my own kids have made.
The emphasis with the gifts is on the kids, the food is for us. Bagels, lox, eggs, the favorite foods mom made for us when we were growing up.
My siblings and I gather under one roof, no arguing, no complaining. We visit, we eat, we play with the kids. It is hectic and exhausting. I love it while it is happening and I am very thankful for when it is over as well.
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johniam
I think having kids makes a difference, but even without kids to think about, it's got its comfort zones. You don't HAVE to go in debt, or spoil your kids with too many gifts just cause it's Christmas. I like making my kids happy, but I don't have to go to extremes to do so.
Hey, didja notice that, yes, TWI railed on Christmas all the time with stuff like Merry Christ is dead, happy ho ho, reproving people for even saying the words 'Christmas' and 'Easter', etc. but they didn't dare to go out of their way to mess with people's schedules like they did other holidays. They'd schedule stuff for Easter and Thanksgiving; even had a limb leader schedule a limb meeting on New Year's day once, but they didn't DARE have region meetings or anything like that anywhere close to Dec. 25th.
We had a good time on the 24th. We drove thru a catholic shrine near us that has a super light show every year. Kids loved it.
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Linda Z
I voted "I like it" because I figured that was the closest to an average of the parts I love and the parts I don't like so much.
For me, the holiday is all about family. It's a time to reflect on so many Christmases of the past, when the family was much larger, and to be together and be thankful for each other. Even when I was out WOW, my parents and youngest sister came to where we lived, their station wagon loaded down with goodies.
We altered a couple traditions this year, which made life simpler for all of us! Christmas traditions are only changed in our family by dispensation of the matriarch, my mom.
Always in the past we've gathered on Christmas Eve for dinner and just to hang out and maybe play a game or two. We never opened gifts on that night; that activity was reserved for the Christmas Morning Unwrapping Extravaganza, which used to go on for about 4 hours (proper, polite Brit-types that we are, we open our presents one by one while everyone watches each person open each gift).
Because of the obnoxious snow storm of '04, Mom suggested that we break tradition (you can't know how much this shocked her children and grandchildren) and have the Unwrapping Extravaganze on Christmas Eve, so that my son and I wouldn't have to rush back to Mom and Dad's house at the crack of dawn in the frigid cold. (We usually do that, so the festivities can proceed bright and early, before any of the younger family members burst a blood vessel in anxious anticipation.)
This new plan allowed my son and me to relax in the morning, open our gifts to each other, eat a real breakfast, and head back to the family home in time for lunch.
Another thing we did was agree that we'd only buy gifts for the grandchildren and for my mentally handicapped younger sister. This not only saved money, but it also relieved the stress of searching high and low for the hard-to-buy-for adults in the family. Two pluses!
I must admit, I love giving gifts so it was hard to restrain myself, but it sure was easier this way!
We have a few traditions unique to us. When my eldest nephew was about 4, someone gave my dad a new garden hose for his birthday. My nephew was so excited that he blurted out, as Dad was opening it, "It's a 'ose, it's a 'ose!" So now that phrase pops out of one kid or another several times during the Unwrapping Extravaganza.
We also place luminaries along the driveway every year and leave cookies and milk for Santa and a carrot for his reindeer. We always tease my middle sister, now in her late 40s, who still swears she heard jingling bells and saw Santa and his sleigh soaring over the Cleveland Ford Plant. We eat too much, we laugh a lot (never can laugh too much!) and we remember those who used to share in the eating and the laughing and the love.
Hmmmm, in putting this into words, I realize that the annoying parts--the shopping and wrapping and the trying to bake cookies with limited time and the occasional sarcasm we dole out to each other when stressed over the whole thing--are not bad enough to bring my rating down to "I like it." I'm officially changing my vote to "I love it."
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reikilady
This year was very special. Lots of food and the first time my daughter, Oak, and myself celebrated Christmas together.
What took the stress out of Christmas for me this year was a little bit of planning and a good attitude. I actually enjoyed wrapping gifts and my daughter rearranged the living room so we had enough room to spread out a little.
Last year was very nice, too. Went to a theatre to see "Return of the King" with Oak. "White Chicks" was watched on the VCR and it was pure mindless entertainment, this year.
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TheSongRemainsTheSame
author unknown~~~I was a clipped Blue & Gold Macaw (Ara ararauna). Finally after years of captivity, I flew to the floor and on until my wings could fly me as far I have never been and further.
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Oakspear
Back when I was but an acorn, Christmas was a fun, family time. The house was decorated, inside and out, and we always had a decorated Christmas tree. I don't recall much of what we did on Xmas Eve, but we always got up early to tear into our presents, and then off to church.
In those days all but one or two of our clan lived nearby, so it wasn't too difficult to get together for the a big meal on Christmas Day.
During my TWI days we celebrated in varying ways. The Way didn't usually schedule anything, although we would get together with people from our fellowship from time to time. One year we decorated the tree and one of the kids asked where the star was, so I put a picture of Bob Dylan on top. For several years a different "star" went on top of the tree.
We tried to do different fun things on Christmas & Christmas Eve. One year we rented a bunch of movies and stayed up all night watching, with a break to do our paper routes. Another year we rented a hotel room where they had a pool and had a pool party pot luck.
2001 was horrible, however. I was recently (6 weeks) separated, my kids didn't want to see me and I had no friends. Even though the store was closed I went in to work, got on the computer, and hung out in the Grease Spot chat room
:D--> I don't remember for sure who was there, but there was a few folks to talk to. Abigail & I had goten to be friends, so we talked on the phone. Other than that it was a miserable day at my old hovel 
:(-->
2002 was slightly better. I was still at the hovel, still alone, but I decided to cook a nice dinner for myself. I had a bottle of Jack Daniels and a couple of quarts of egg nog and found out that they went well together.
I attended midnight mass in a decidedly jolly mood. I went out the next day and watched "The Two Towers" at the local theater.
2003 was as reikilady described it, and much better than previous years.
2004 was great. A family dinner with reiklady and her daughter. Even though there were only three of us, we had cooked a variety of foods, so we were all pretty full while opening gifts and had plenty of leftovers for Saturday.
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satori001
Maybe the thread should be called Redeeming Christmas. I'm liking it more having read these first few posts. Hope there's more to come.
Of course, Christmas is an opportunity for some and a great emotional (and probably financial) imposition upon others. Why do you think there is such a range, among those of us who grew up in or around this ancient festival in its contemporary form? Does the fact that it is (by our standards) ancient give it more or less power to draw us in?
So far, the redeeming factor is people, particularly family, gathering together to create and share a good time, and to make something memorable for all. I've forgotten a lot of Christmases. And a lot of other stuff. Intentionally, at some level, I think. I'm going to go back and try to recall them, if they're still there, knowing they weren't all good, or bad.
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ChattyKathy
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Shellon
At this moment in time my son is here chatting with a friend in CA on a laptop while I'm chatting with you here. That's Christmas for me right now. Having him this close, hearing him chuckle whenever whoever he is chatting with tickles him.
Knowing he rests better here than anywhere else. And not having to entertain him, because he's family, he isn't here to take only but to give.
If if weren't for him here I'd be tempted to think of a couple cares I have. His being here and feeling comfortable enough to do what he might possibly be doing at home (chatting with friends online) is what makes this Christmas meaningful to me. Not the gifts or the fancy treats to eat. But the sweetness of true fellowship.
==============================================
That may be the most beautiful christmas story I've heard!
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ChattyKathy
You're too sweet!
:)-->
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Tom
A childhood friend just left, so that's a big part of what Christmas is about this year.
My wife & I went to a candlelight Christmas service this year - first time in many years we've been to any type of Christmas service. It was a simple service with a simple message about the hope of salvation that Jesus' birth was to those shepherds who were told about it and who then spread word of his birth - symbolized by everyone helping everyone else light there candle - spreading the light. Simple was good; we were ready for it. It touched something too deep to be ruined or replaced by commerciality no matter how prevalent it is.
My relationship with my folks has gone full circle. We have a relationship that is as sweet and unassuming as it was when I was young.
All those things, and more, have brushed in Christmas this season with a lively air that defies age, distance, generations, or man's stupidity.
I've had Christmas without my children a number of times - really sucks. This year, they've participated in my Christmas as adults fully under their own intitiative for the first time.
My wife is proving herself to be truly beautiful.
I suppose these things don't all have to be bound up intrinsically in the bag called Christmas, but they are for me this year, and they all fit well in the bag.
Merry Christmas. The message of the angels was "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
That's my Christmas story this year.
Tom
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Tom
A childhood friend just left, so that's a big part of what Christmas is about this year.
My wife & I went to a candlelight Christmas service this year - first time in many years we've been to any type of Christmas service. It was a simple service with a simple message about the hope of salvation that Jesus' birth was to those shepherds who were told about it and who then spread word of his birth - symbolized by everyone helping everyone else light there candle - spreading the light. Simple was good; we were ready for it. It touched something too deep to be ruined or replaced by commerciality no matter how prevalent it is.
My relationship with my folks has gone full circle. We have a relationship that is as sweet and unassuming as it was when I was young.
All those things, and more, have brushed in Christmas this season with a lively air that defies age, distance, generations, or man's stupidity.
I've had Christmas without my children a number of times - really sucks. This year, they've participated in my Christmas as adults fully under their own intitiative for the first time.
My wife is proving herself to be truly beautiful.
I suppose these things don't all have to be bound up intrinsically in the bag called Christmas, but they are for me this year, and they all fit well in the bag.
Merry Christmas. The message of the angels was "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."
That's my Christmas story this year.
Tom
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Galen
satori001:
"Does Christmas bring home all the good things we've lost, like ghosts haunting us from the glitter?"
??????
"Christmas is a good time to be impractical, and a little impulsive. Then again, I bought no gifts at all for any adults this year. Got off cheap. We entertained. And entertain still."
We are not impulsive in gift giving. But then again if I need something, or Bonnie, then I get it, the time, season or holiday does not matter. So when it comes to Christmas I dont need anything.
Bonnie and I each go and buy soemthing for ourselves, so that Bonnie has something to 'give' me and I have something to give her. Mostly for the benefit of the children.
The little ones get way out of control during the season.
My goodness the advertizing, the encouragement from the school district, the encouragement from Social Services: go crazy, beg people for every toy, every shoe, everything that you dont need and that you will destroy the following day. Bahh.
"Christmas is nothing more than a set of expectations and a week or so to realize them, or try. If we are smart about it, we learn which expectations to keep, and which ones to lose."
I would not consider those to be 'smart' expectations either.
"Christmas hasn't been about spiritual renewal for me for a long time. Peace on Earth?...."
What? we fight wars, we have fought wars for many years. We even fight religous wars, who cares? I often still see blood on my hands. Damn there are times, I just can't get any good sleep. Peace you say? No, there is no peace.
". . . Pope mutters about giving, and love, and sacrifice, from his house of gold, jewels and priceless art treasures."
Yes there is one source of in-justice.
"It's hard to take that old clown seriously, .... Suffer the little children."
True, does anyone really take him seriously?
"So it's more about people setting time aside to enjoy one another's company, if such a thing is possible. And of course, it is, if you are with the right people."
Is that not what we should do weekly? Why wait for X-mas.
"But I'm more interested in what makes a Christmas merry, or misery, for you."
As a child, Christmas break meant no school so more work.
Since adulthood, most of my Christmases have been either underwater or working shift-work. I did have off during Christmas in 1979, then again I think in 1984 and 1985 I did have Christmas off both years to enjoy my wife, but not after then until 2001. The last couple years, I have been kind of 'lost' during the holidays.
But raising foster-children, is demanding; I realize that they have gone through a lot of loss in their lives, but everyone spoils them so much, it does not teach any kind of stewardship. "Who cares, I can destroy everything and the social workers will just replace it all again next week" is a common theme.
:-)
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Abigail
"My goodness the advertizing, the encouragement from the school district, the encouragement from Social Services: go crazy, beg people for every toy, every shoe, everything that you dont need and that you will destroy the following day. Bahh."
We don't get lavish for the adults - gourmet coffees, homemade cookies or other goodies. One year I canned a bunch of Matzo ball soup and mailed some to my brother and dad.
1000Names taught me by example to purchase gifts which show support for one's endeavors. This year my main gifts to him were a CD set on how to play piano by ear and a workout mat. He got me something I would never have bought for myself, but really wanted - gold earrings and a digital camera to push me into the "new millenium".
For the kids it is one of my biannual clean out times (the other being birthdays). I go through all of their toys and throw away the broken or incomplete things, donate the toys they've out-grown and make room for the new.
This year the boys were both old enough to go through some fliers and put their initials next to the things they wanted. I think we picked one or two items from their "really really want it list" and then picked out a few other things that I thought they would enjoy longer. Most of the time the stuff on their "I want" list consists of toys I know they will be bored with in ten minutes.
This year my choices were a couple of small additions to their castle set, a rock polisher for Aaron (who had a bedroom full of rocks just begging to be polished), a gameboy for Jacob (Aaron already has one and I've found them to be a lifesaver on long road trips - also, I bought it used for about 1/2 of what it would have cost new), some board games - things we can enjoy together.
Basically I see my Christmas shopping as an endeavor to find activities they can enjoy during the winter season (especially during those times when there is no snow, or it is too muddy or cold to play outside)because come summer they will be too busy swimming, biking, etc. to play with toys.
Also, because we have two boys who are so close in age, the issue of fairness can be a huge one. Usually, if I am buying something I know they will both want and it is too expensive to purchase in pairs, then I make it a joint gift.
Saves me the financial stress of figuring out how to pay for it all and teaches the boys how to share.
:)-->
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Galen
Abigail:
"Basically I see my Christmas shopping as an endeavor to find activities they can enjoy during the winter season ... because come summer they will be too busy swimming, biking, etc. to play with toys."
That sounds nice.
We just went through a rougher than usual season.
The last day of school the 12 year old [samantha] come home from school with her backpack filled with more clothing and her arms loaded down. She had 3 more pairs of boots, and sweaters and pants. She is just so used to beggin people for clothing, that her class-mates will give her the stuff right off their backs. This time she even had an effect on her school teachers. Being in a 'middle-school' this year, she has 6 different teachers. Bonnie goes through the ward-robes of each child and inventorys all their stuff, so we know that Samantha has a wardrobe that fits her and she can go 2 weeks without having to repeat any item of clothing. But the little girl still has to be forced to change her clothes each day, and she will consistantly beg her friends for more clothing.
8 year old Alan, steals from every classmate. Daily we find stuff in his backpack, broken toys even turned in homework from other children. In Novemeber, I made the mistake [on the advise from Alan's therapist] of going a week without checking his backpack. He had collected a solid 6 inches of toys in the bottom of his backpack. None of them were from his stash of toys. It was all from school.
Then the school runs a program funded by area churches, where the children get new snow boots. We try to teach the children, but the school wants to play 'santa' to all foster children, regardless of the fact that the children are living in someone's family and I buy them shoes that fit. So they all end up with non-fitting snoe shoes curtesy of someone's goodwill.
No matter Tuesday the 28th the foster chidren were shipped out.
We no longer are foster-parents.
:-)
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krys
somebody needs to check out their private topics
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