YBYSAID -- You figure out the acronym, since this is a moderated board!! :D-->
I have no problem telling folks where I have come from. Perhaps it helps explain a little of the "insanity" that they see in me today, and can thusly, half-way understand my "drift"
To mention my past is not always a "proud" thing, but I have no qualms about doing so. It is always spoken of as "been there, done that, and got the tee-shirt".
Actually -- letting folks know about my past, helps break down barriers. They see instantly that I am not some "goody-two shoes" (whatever the **** that means!
I always mention past cult involvement, if it is pertinent to the conversaton.
YBYSAID -- You figure out the acronym, since this is a moderated board!! :D-->
I have no problem telling folks where I have come from. Perhaps it helps explain a little of the "insanity" that they see in me today, and can thusly, half-way understand my "drift"
To mention my past is not always a "proud" thing, but I have no qualms about doing so. It is always spoken of as "been there, done that, and got the tee-shirt".
Actually -- letting folks know about my past, helps break down barriers. They see instantly that I am not some "goody-two shoes" (whatever the **** _that_ means!
I always mention past cult involvement, if it is pertinent to the conversaton.
It's been a few years of me being here at GS. I I actually started at Waydale, and that's where the healing started in my life.
I used to tell people about my experience after I left in 92. Then, I stopped for several years talking about it. I realized how STRANGE I must have sounded by the astonished looks on their faces --> and vertually NO comments were made by them, just blank stares. Once in awhile I may share my past if it's fitting to the conversation. I have changed so much now , that it all appeares to be a scarey nightmere.
quote:Originally posted by dmiller:
YBYSAID -- You figure out the acronym, since this is a moderated board!! :D-->
I have no problem telling folks where I have come from. Perhaps it helps explain a little of the "insanity" that they see in me today, and can thusly, half-way understand my "drift"
To mention my past is not always a "proud" thing, but I have no qualms about doing so. It is always spoken of as "been there, done that, and got the tee-shirt".
Actually -- letting folks know about my past, helps break down barriers. They see instantly that I am not some "goody-two shoes" (whatever the **** _that_ means!
I always mention past cult involvement, if it is pertinent to the conversaton.
I enjoy seeing the look on peoples face when I tell them I was in a cult. They don't know what to say to you, just give you a dumb stare and change the subject.
Yes, I tell people unless I am applying for a job. Usually people aren't phazed at all about me being in a cult. They always think I'm so level-headed (if only they knew....LOL). I worked on Staff at twi headquarters for 5 years. I have 7 more years until I don't have to put that job on my resume. So I have to lie about them when I am in a job interview. Kinda sucks. The hardest part is explaining my salary I made there ($683 per month plus living expenses). I ask for wayyyyyyy more than that obviously. But the question does come up. I have to go in BS mode sometimes, and I hate that.
My mom had the same issues. I think she just explained in a short consise way that made them not want to ask much more. She's been at Nike now for 8 years(on staff)+1 year as a temp, so it's not really an issue.
But not having a rent/work history that is positive(the way won't say if they'd hire back/rent to person again) makes that probably the hardest part for people to leave. They have to pay potentially enormous deposits and w/o a verifiable job history...
The way did a number on people that served in the way on-staff and in-residence. Help to control more...
Interesting question because the whole word "cult" I struggle with at times. The main stream religion I was raised on seemed more like a cult in some ways than TWI for me. I do understand the cult aspect though of TWI when I was in it. I usually tell people when they ask how I ended up where I am now living that it's a long story and sometime I will tell them about it. !Most usually just smile and never ask again ! It depends on who is asking ! lol I wouldn't be living where I am now if I was not in TWI. There are many like me that eneded up where they are as a direct result of some TWI program.Some I do tell about my involvement in the Way and others I don't. I never aspired to much in the Way except for to fellowship with people who were genuine and who had real heart to the end that they really cared and showed that concern by example. The problem of course was all the other mandated crap that stifled that process. What I have noticed on how people answer whether they were in a cult or not is on how long they were in or how many of the programs they were involved in the structure too. Some are very bitter and some just have moved on and took what they thought was maybe good aspects of their experience. Me I don't what I am ? A little bitter sweet maybe ? Still carrying some baggage though ! How do you answer when asked Girl from Oz ? Your experience I know was much diffrent than those of us who were in TWI. I someday look forward to visiting an old friend in my hometown who was a Jehova Witness and this question can be one of many to add that we can discuss face to face. I look forward to it ! Gee did I answer the question Girl from Oz ? lol Thank you for the thought provoking thread here. :)-->
Hahahahaha, Evan. My son thinks it's cool that I took him to a Jimi Hendrix concert when he was 2, so I guess that makes my son cooler than yours. heh HEH! (And a heck of a lot older!)
I tell folks I used to be in a Bible study group. They don't usually ask anymore than that and I don't offer more info. It comes up only when people ask how my wife and I met.
People who have belonged to a cult are often sucked into offshoot outfits or other questionable organizations. I on the other hand, learned my lesson the first time.
sudo (who doesn't have to burn his hand twice to realize the stove is hot)
I rarely tell people, unless it fits the topic of discussion. I have seen the blank stare in response, and would guess that it is to cover the fact that they don't want to reveal what they're thinking, which is that they would NEVER be so dumb as to get involved in a cult (so what is HER problem?!).
I have been out a long time, and was adequately employed most of the time I was in, so there are no blank spots on my resum?r salary history. My TWI years are a part of who I am, but only a part.
I still have a problem with the word cult. I think it's a slur.
quote:I used to tell people about my experience after I left in 92. Then, I stopped for several years talking about it. I realized how STRANGE I must have sounded by the astonished looks on their faces and vertually NO comments were made by them, just blank stares.
and..
I enjoy seeing the look on peoples face when I tell them I was in a cult. They don't know what to say to you, just give you a dumb stare and change the subject.
and...
I worked on Staff at twi headquarters for 5 years. I have 7 more years until I don't have to put that job on my resume. So I have to lie about them when I am in a job interview. Kinda sucks. The hardest part is explaining my salary I made there ($683 per month plus living expenses). I ask for wayyyyyyy more than that obviously. But the question does come up. I have to go in BS mode sometimes, and I hate that.
This is so ironic! In a country that prides itself on being the land of the free and the champion of human rights, it is blatantly hypocritical for people to mindlessly respond like the quotes say just because we used to be in an unpopular religious group.
Add to that the fact that the catholic church has sex scandals and they're not a "cult". I like Sudo's approach of saying "we met in a bible fellowship". If people want to know more than that then THEY'RE the pushy ones.
Sure I do... I mean, I don't walk up to people when I'm meeting them and say "Hi, I'm Tom Strange, nice to meet you, by the way, I used to be in a cult"...
But, if I'm in a conversation about "what did you do when..." I have no problem bringing it up. Sometimes I get stares. Sometimes I get "Oh really, tell me about it." Sometimes the women cover the ears of the young children and they turn and run.
Prisca, I can't imagine how it is for you. Pre TWI, I wouldn't have considered JW a cult, to me they were just another religion... one that I didn't really know much about... I wonder how many out there, with only the experience of mainstream Christianity, consider JW a cult?
At least I did it because of choice... you and others (TWI as well) never had a chance!
Further explanation: Usually when I tell people I was in a cult (sometimes I do it for shock value) they just go "oh really"... that's when I say "Well, they called it a Biblical Research and Teaching Ministry, but it was a cult heh heh"...
I can't imagine what I'd do if I had to put them down on a resume... I don't imagine I'd reference them as a cult there...
Since I'v been in the mental health profession I bring it up when relavent. It's a wall breaker to folks who have been spiritually abused and are having problems with the 12 step program. To share my experiance somehow encourages some folk to take a risk on step 2.
I usually don't mention it at all. Not because I am ashamed or scared or any other resulting emotion or label.
I do not mention it for a very simple reason....it does not define me.
For instance...my matron of honor did not know of my past cult involvement until she asked me at the rehearsal dinner, "Who are all these people and where did you meet them?"
Not because I don't care about her and not because I purposefully avoided it...but because it just never occurred to me to mention it.
Perhaps it stems from my profession, but I really doubt it.
When it was critical to me, I sought help and professional counseling....just as I did when I left the abusive marriage I was in. I got the help and counsel...it was wonderful in its healing power, and I "lived" in both "survivor" roles (or "victim" roles, if you prefer) for as long as it took to get healed and out of them.
Now....they....the cult, the abusive marriage, and everything else in my past is all part of who I am today....but no one or two of them define me.
They are simply a part of the tapestry of my life.
Yeah, it`s hard not to when folks want to know how Mark and I met in Kansas....when I was from Alabama and he was raised in Nebraska...lol
It has been so long ago for us.. that most people are astonished....we seem so *normal*
One time, I wrote a memorial thread here at gspot about a man who had helped us when we left twi.... The minister of the church we attended had seen it ( I gave her a copy so that so his family would know that he had been seen as more than just a grizzled old reprobate) before his funeral...well she read it the next sunday at church and made it the teaching for the week....something along the lines of helping folks..this old guy was generally considered quite an ornery cuss...and yet, He was able to help a couple of folks ... be those hands and feet of God to welcome us into the community and pave our entry back into the *world* after over 15 years of mind warping service in twi....anyway...thought I was going to DIE of shame....I was simply mortified...lol it turned out most folks really gave us a lot of credit for leaving....after that there probably wasn`t anyone elese IN the community that didn`t know about our nefarious past...lol
I did not "admitt" that I ws in a cult until about 4 years ago.
I was ashamed of myself for being so stupid. So I certainly did not want anybody else to know! :o-->
Then when I found GS, and started learning about Two-House Messianic Judaism, (Yashua Believing), and was able to talk and stuff, I was able to get rid of the shame by realizing that there was nothing for me to be ashamed of! :P-->
I was on a journey, going on my path to where I am today. :)-->
When I do talk to people about it, I am VERY selective to whom I mention this to...
People really look down on others that get caaught up in cults, especially CHRISTIANS that are in little mini-cults called church. ;)-->
I made one very good friend after 1 year of being "out." I told her everything without using the world cult. SHe had been in an extremely bad marriage...(a similar environment in my opinion)...and here in New Mexico we have a wide variety of individualistic type people.
One day, she was talking to another friend of hers who was an aquaintence of mine and when I said something about something--to the effect "that's nothin..." about a bad situation getting worse ...my close friend says to the other lady.."she was in a cult..." very matter of factly. I just sorta looked at my friend hoping her judgemnet of this other person was worthy to reveal this "horrible" thing....eventully I came to the opinion by lack of shock effect that my problems and life were not really any more or less crazy than anyone else around here.
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dmiller
YBYSAID -- You figure out the acronym, since this is a moderated board!!
:D-->
I have no problem telling folks where I have come from. Perhaps it helps explain a little of the "insanity" that they see in me today, and can thusly, half-way understand my "drift"
To mention my past is not always a "proud" thing, but I have no qualms about doing so. It is always spoken of as "been there, done that, and got the tee-shirt".
Actually -- letting folks know about my past, helps break down barriers. They see instantly that I am not some "goody-two shoes" (whatever the **** that means!
I always mention past cult involvement, if it is pertinent to the conversaton.
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FAmort01
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FAmort01
Hello everyone,
It's been a few years of me being here at GS. I I actually started at Waydale, and that's where the healing started in my life.
I used to tell people about my experience after I left in 92. Then, I stopped for several years talking about it. I realized how STRANGE I must have sounded by the astonished looks on their faces
--> and vertually NO comments were made by them, just blank stares. 
Once in awhile I may share my past if it's fitting to the conversation. I have changed so much now , that it all appeares to be a scarey nightmere.
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OnionEater
I enjoy seeing the look on peoples face when I tell them I was in a cult. They don't know what to say to you, just give you a dumb stare and change the subject.
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Nottawayfer
Yes, I tell people unless I am applying for a job. Usually people aren't phazed at all about me being in a cult. They always think I'm so level-headed (if only they knew....LOL). I worked on Staff at twi headquarters for 5 years. I have 7 more years until I don't have to put that job on my resume. So I have to lie about them when I am in a job interview. Kinda sucks. The hardest part is explaining my salary I made there ($683 per month plus living expenses). I ask for wayyyyyyy more than that obviously. But the question does come up. I have to go in BS mode sometimes, and I hate that.
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meganpenworthy
My mom had the same issues. I think she just explained in a short consise way that made them not want to ask much more. She's been at Nike now for 8 years(on staff)+1 year as a temp, so it's not really an issue.
But not having a rent/work history that is positive(the way won't say if they'd hire back/rent to person again) makes that probably the hardest part for people to leave. They have to pay potentially enormous deposits and w/o a verifiable job history...
The way did a number on people that served in the way on-staff and in-residence. Help to control more...
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dougie73
Interesting question because the whole word "cult" I struggle with at times. The main stream religion I was raised on seemed more like a cult in some ways than TWI for me. I do understand the cult aspect though of TWI when I was in it. I usually tell people when they ask how I ended up where I am now living that it's a long story and sometime I will tell them about it. !Most usually just smile and never ask again ! It depends on who is asking ! lol I wouldn't be living where I am now if I was not in TWI. There are many like me that eneded up where they are as a direct result of some TWI program.Some I do tell about my involvement in the Way and others I don't. I never aspired to much in the Way except for to fellowship with people who were genuine and who had real heart to the end that they really cared and showed that concern by example. The problem of course was all the other mandated crap that stifled that process. What I have noticed on how people answer whether they were in a cult or not is on how long they were in or how many of the programs they were involved in the structure too. Some are very bitter and some just have moved on and took what they thought was maybe good aspects of their experience. Me I don't what I am ? A little bitter sweet maybe ? Still carrying some baggage though ! How do you answer when asked Girl from Oz ? Your experience I know was much diffrent than those of us who were in TWI. I someday look forward to visiting an old friend in my hometown who was a Jehova Witness and this question can be one of many to add that we can discuss face to face. I look forward to it ! Gee did I answer the question Girl from Oz ? lol Thank you for the thought provoking thread here.
:)-->
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Nottawayfer
OK dmiller,
You Bet Your Sweet foot I Do! Am I right????
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TheEvan
My son thinks it's so funny & cool that his parents used to be in a cult.
Yeah, I tell people...
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Linda Z
Hahahahaha, Evan. My son thinks it's cool that I took him to a Jimi Hendrix concert when he was 2, so I guess that makes my son cooler than yours. heh HEH! (And a heck of a lot older!)
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Sudo
It's embarrassing...
I tell folks I used to be in a Bible study group. They don't usually ask anymore than that and I don't offer more info. It comes up only when people ask how my wife and I met.
People who have belonged to a cult are often sucked into offshoot outfits or other questionable organizations. I on the other hand, learned my lesson the first time.
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shazdancer
I rarely tell people, unless it fits the topic of discussion. I have seen the blank stare in response, and would guess that it is to cover the fact that they don't want to reveal what they're thinking, which is that they would NEVER be so dumb as to get involved in a cult (so what is HER problem?!).
I have been out a long time, and was adequately employed most of the time I was in, so there are no blank spots on my resum?r salary history. My TWI years are a part of who I am, but only a part.
Regards,
Shaz
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johniam
I still have a problem with the word cult. I think it's a slur.
quote:I used to tell people about my experience after I left in 92. Then, I stopped for several years talking about it. I realized how STRANGE I must have sounded by the astonished looks on their faces and vertually NO comments were made by them, just blank stares.
and..
I enjoy seeing the look on peoples face when I tell them I was in a cult. They don't know what to say to you, just give you a dumb stare and change the subject.
and...
I worked on Staff at twi headquarters for 5 years. I have 7 more years until I don't have to put that job on my resume. So I have to lie about them when I am in a job interview. Kinda sucks. The hardest part is explaining my salary I made there ($683 per month plus living expenses). I ask for wayyyyyyy more than that obviously. But the question does come up. I have to go in BS mode sometimes, and I hate that.
This is so ironic! In a country that prides itself on being the land of the free and the champion of human rights, it is blatantly hypocritical for people to mindlessly respond like the quotes say just because we used to be in an unpopular religious group.
Add to that the fact that the catholic church has sex scandals and they're not a "cult". I like Sudo's approach of saying "we met in a bible fellowship". If people want to know more than that then THEY'RE the pushy ones.
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Tom Strange
Sure I do... I mean, I don't walk up to people when I'm meeting them and say "Hi, I'm Tom Strange, nice to meet you, by the way, I used to be in a cult"...
But, if I'm in a conversation about "what did you do when..." I have no problem bringing it up. Sometimes I get stares. Sometimes I get "Oh really, tell me about it." Sometimes the women cover the ears of the young children and they turn and run.
Prisca, I can't imagine how it is for you. Pre TWI, I wouldn't have considered JW a cult, to me they were just another religion... one that I didn't really know much about... I wonder how many out there, with only the experience of mainstream Christianity, consider JW a cult?
At least I did it because of choice... you and others (TWI as well) never had a chance!
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Tom Strange
Further explanation: Usually when I tell people I was in a cult (sometimes I do it for shock value) they just go "oh really"... that's when I say "Well, they called it a Biblical Research and Teaching Ministry, but it was a cult heh heh"...
I can't imagine what I'd do if I had to put them down on a resume... I don't imagine I'd reference them as a cult there...
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imbus
Since I'v been in the mental health profession I bring it up when relavent. It's a wall breaker to folks who have been spiritually abused and are having problems with the 12 step program. To share my experiance somehow encourages some folk to take a risk on step 2.
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Cindy!
I usually don't mention it at all. Not because I am ashamed or scared or any other resulting emotion or label.
I do not mention it for a very simple reason....it does not define me.
For instance...my matron of honor did not know of my past cult involvement until she asked me at the rehearsal dinner, "Who are all these people and where did you meet them?"
Not because I don't care about her and not because I purposefully avoided it...but because it just never occurred to me to mention it.
Perhaps it stems from my profession, but I really doubt it.
When it was critical to me, I sought help and professional counseling....just as I did when I left the abusive marriage I was in. I got the help and counsel...it was wonderful in its healing power, and I "lived" in both "survivor" roles (or "victim" roles, if you prefer) for as long as it took to get healed and out of them.
Now....they....the cult, the abusive marriage, and everything else in my past is all part of who I am today....but no one or two of them define me.
They are simply a part of the tapestry of my life.
And tomorrow....another weave...
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Doug
I will usually explain my cult heritage if asked. Or with people I become friendly with.
LH
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Kit Sober
I have (hopefully) become a lot kinder since my arrogant know-it-all twi days.
speaking about "cult involvement" is generall a shocking kind of thing, and most people don't care.
Generally people need a friend, kindness, solutions to their problems, the time of day -- not more problems, which "cult involvement" topics bring.
Generally there are other more helpful and time-redeeming subjects with which to fill the air.
Hopefully,
Kit
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WordWolf
Do I tell people?
Sometimes.
It depends on the people and the context.
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rascal
Yeah, it`s hard not to when folks want to know how Mark and I met in Kansas....when I was from Alabama and he was raised in Nebraska...lol
It has been so long ago for us.. that most people are astonished....we seem so *normal*
One time, I wrote a memorial thread here at gspot about a man who had helped us when we left twi.... The minister of the church we attended had seen it ( I gave her a copy so that so his family would know that he had been seen as more than just a grizzled old reprobate) before his funeral...well she read it the next sunday at church and made it the teaching for the week....something along the lines of helping folks..this old guy was generally considered quite an ornery cuss...and yet, He was able to help a couple of folks ... be those hands and feet of God to welcome us into the community and pave our entry back into the *world* after over 15 years of mind warping service in twi....anyway...thought I was going to DIE of shame....I was simply mortified...lol it turned out most folks really gave us a lot of credit for leaving....after that there probably wasn`t anyone elese IN the community that didn`t know about our nefarious past...lol
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Pirate1974
If the subject ever comes up, and it almost never does, I just say it was a religious group I was in while I was in college.
Most people assume it was something like Campus Crusade. I NEVER give any details.
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valerie52
I did not "admitt" that I ws in a cult until about 4 years ago.
I was ashamed of myself for being so stupid. So I certainly did not want anybody else to know!
:o-->
Then when I found GS, and started learning about Two-House Messianic Judaism, (Yashua Believing), and was able to talk and stuff, I was able to get rid of the shame by realizing that there was nothing for me to be ashamed of!
:P-->
I was on a journey, going on my path to where I am today.
:)-->
When I do talk to people about it, I am VERY selective to whom I mention this to...
People really look down on others that get caaught up in cults, especially CHRISTIANS that are in little mini-cults called church.
;)-->
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washingtonweather
I made one very good friend after 1 year of being "out." I told her everything without using the world cult. SHe had been in an extremely bad marriage...(a similar environment in my opinion)...and here in New Mexico we have a wide variety of individualistic type people.
One day, she was talking to another friend of hers who was an aquaintence of mine and when I said something about something--to the effect "that's nothin..." about a bad situation getting worse ...my close friend says to the other lady.."she was in a cult..." very matter of factly. I just sorta looked at my friend hoping her judgemnet of this other person was worthy to reveal this "horrible" thing....eventully I came to the opinion by lack of shock effect that my problems and life were not really any more or less crazy than anyone else around here.
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