THE "It ... just ... won't ... die..."

[dmiller]

How can you call this Pizza?? No pineapple on THE top of it!

[moony3424]

why won't IT die!!!!

hey moongirl... what are you doing with excathedra's chair?

Anything for THE!

[krys]

That's not Excathedra's chair. Hers has green velvet on it.

[krys]

why won't IT die!!!!

You guys just don't get it!!! I guess I'll have to spell it out for you, then.

THE is a god! Deities don't usually die off. Methinks you'd best watch out for the negative vibes here, you don't want to make him angry....because there's no telling what he could do.

Unless - -

You'd be OK with a tsunami of Guinness over Phoenix - - or a passel of foul breathed diseased yaks who pass gas wandering though our wheat fields, clogging route 40 in their migration and chowing down on Central Park!

We have enough non-native species and their problems. We have killer bees who are migrating north, lampreys who suck the life out of fish in our Great Lakes, Gypsy moths who still take a toll on our north east forests 30 years after the fact as well as Formosan termites and red ants who take over colony after colony of every other kind of ant (that's true, by the way).

Watch your step!

[topoftheworld]

How could I forget?

Bring me THE remote!

[wasway]

If you want to see what THE is click HERE

check under proper name at 1.3.5

ALL HAIL THE!!!

Edited March 26, 2006 by wasway

[topoftheworld]

Does that mean Raf is the Father of THE?

[krys]

TOTW: Raf started the thread, but THE sorta invented his own Diety-ness over the first several days. THE came into being on that thread, but as you know - Dieties do not come from land based corporal units, they are etherieal entities.

[Raf]

Oh boy, here we go again...

Listen my children and you shall hear

The origin of THE thread we all revere

'Twas late one night, years ago, three

I remember it well, for it happened to me.

Another forum once there was

Two, in fact, and that's because

One was Waydale, and many were blessed

While the other was run by CES.

But one dark night, the latter fell.

And I came to Waydale, for all to tell.

"THE CES THREAD IS GONE" was the subject line.

"Well, it seems..." and the rest is lost to time.

And something happened that fateful night.

The computers hiccupped. It didn't come out right.

For one word each, in subject and message

Survived this bizarre rite of passage.

THE was the subject, and none understood.

WELL was the message. Read the rest? No one could.

I tried to explain. Believe me, I tried.

But to my astonishment, people replied.

First one responded. Then two, then more.

Next time I counted, they'd passed 94.

Soon there were thousands. It's true, have no doubt.

It got so bad Waydale's host was told "cut it out."

So THE was shut down. No choice. They had to.

But no, never fear, for then there was THE 2.

With this reincarnation, a legend was born.

But then, from Waydale, we all were torn.

So we said farewell. Not much more to say.

And THE was moved to the Greasespot Cafe.

There, THE thrived, with a life of its own.

Until the Cafe was moved to its present home.

I'd laugh, read along, but mostly I'd sigh.

Now and then I'd remark, "It ... just ... won't ... die..."

But powerless I am, by now this you know.

All I can do is watch, watch it grow.

The rest you can learn on the preceding pages.

I suspect that the THE will survive through the ages.

So, glad that you asked, and now you can see

The ballad of a thread, a thread called THE.

Edited March 31, 2006 by Raf

[dmiller]

Raf -- Nice poem!!

You're a poet,

And you know it,

and also your feet show it.

(they're *longfellows*) ;)

[Raf]

That was actually a copy of an earlier post.

[topoftheworld]

Whatever it is-Bravo!

[wasway]

Thank you Raf.. Its always good to re-read THE Genesis of THE...

ALL HAIL THE!!!

[wasway]

From the Wiktionary?!?

"THE" (All Capitalized) The Name of a deity who's tenets are followed by certain members of a class of former followers of a New Knoxville, Ohio based religious group. The existence of THE was accidentally discovered by a a former follower named Raf.

And what Pray tell are THE "Tenets of THE"

Must we research THE sacred scrolls of THE "dale" to find them all?? I think not, for I am sure that there is a Faithful Remnant of THE who can remember them all or at least in part....

One came to mind yesterday while I was at THE local Mega-Lo Mart to buy Easter (I love saying that) Candy.

And I remembered that:

1.) PEEPS MUST BE EATEN AT LEAST ONCE YEARLY FOLLOWED, OF COURSE, BY A PINT OF GUINNESS.

(I don't think that transubstantiation comes into play, though)

Anyone else remember any of THE omnipotent one's tenets??

ALL HAIS THE

[dmiller]

A short story from THE (page 140 - I think)

doorleven

WayDale Citizen

(7/18/00 2:06:00 am)

[/b]A LITTLE STORY FOR YE ALL[/b]

Once upon a time there was an old man, a boy and a donkey.The old man said to the boy,"We must go to market today. Go get the donkey out of the barn and get ready to go." The young boy did as he was told. The old man put the boy upon the donkeys back and they headed into town.

doorleven

WayDale Citizen

(7/18/00 2:20:15 am)

Re: A LITTLE STORY FOR YE ALL

So the old man the boy and the donkey headed into towwn.

They had not gone far when they came upon an old lady. The old lady stared at the young boy with great disabroval in her eyes. "You lazy little boy, how dare you ride apon the donkeys back and make your poor old grandfather walk.You should be ashamed of yourself!"

After hearing the old ladies harsh words the boy slid off the donkeys back and insisted his grandfather climb up.

doorleven

WayDale Citizen

(7/18/00 2:35:01 am)

Re: A LITTLE STORY FOR YE ALL

They went a little farther and soon came upon a young mother with her child. The women stoped and scowled up at the old man."Look at you riding along in the greatest of comfort while this poor child walks his weary legs off. What a mean thing to do." The grandfather quickly climbed off the donkey and started walking beside his grandson.

doorleven

WayDale Citizen

(7/18/00 2:41:59 am)

Re: A LITTLE STORY FOR YE ALL

Soon they came upon a group of children playing along the roadside. The children stopped and pointed. One of them started laughing, "Look how silly they are, they both walk when they have a perfectly good donkey to ride!" The old man and the boy looked at eachother confusingly. Then they both climbed onto the donkeys back.

doorleven

WayDale Citizen

(7/18/00 2:49:20 am)

Re: A LITTLE STORY FOR YE ALL

They were almost to town when they came upon a man walking along the road. The man looked up at them, and shook his fist at them. "How dare you burden the poor beast so! Having to carry the weight of both of you. If I had such an animal I would not treat him so." The old man and the boy climbed down and stood looking at eachother wondering what they should do.

TateUlsaker

WayDale Citizen

(7/18/00 2:59:09 am)

Re: ALITTLE STORY FOR YE ALLThen they came by a village priest who said: "Your actions with animals reflects evil in your hearts. Your donkey can't bear the weight of you both."

So the boy climbed off and said to his Grandfather, "I am young so I can walk."

The Grandfather climbed off and said to his Grandson, "I have lived a full life and have much experience walking. You should save your strength."

Just then the donkey said: "Tell that priest, Loy Craig to shut himself up. He is working my relatives half-to-death bringing ale and damsels from town while he accuses you of overworking me to meet your needs. You guys weigh a total of 130 pounds, full of bread. LCM weighs 180 full of beer. I can take you guys to town. Just let me kick this jackass LCM in the teeth first!

doorleven

WayDale Citizen

(7/18/00 3:01:54 am)

Re: A LITTLE STORY FOR YE ALL

They took the blanket from the donkeys back and made a sling.

Thus, is how it came to pass. What the townfolks saw that day was the old man and the boy coming into town carrying the donkey between them.

The moral of the story is simple: If you try to please everyone in all things, you'll just end up with your a$$ in a sling!!!!

Edited March 30, 2006 by dmiller

[krys]

What a great reminder! Very cool dmiller!

[dmiller]

Krys -- yea -- THE original THE was hilarious!!

here's something from page 160. :)

GraceOnGrace

Choir Director of THE

(7/29/00 4:08:17 pm)

Thread With No Name -- We now pause for station indemnification.

For a full impact of this commercial message

Visualize your first visit to WayDale, then

sing to the tune of Horse With No Name

On the first part of the WayDale

I was lookin at all the lies

There were ads and clips and news and finks

There was books and docs and links

The first thing I read was a post with a 'well,'

and the rest made no sense

THE thread got hot and THE people swell

and the story got so intense

Chorus

I've been through the Dale on a thread with no name

it felt good to be out of the way

in the dale you can remember your name

'cause there ain't no loy for to give you no pain

lie lie lie lie lielielie lie lie lie lie lie

After two days in THE waydale sun

my eyes began to see red

After three days in THE waydale fun

I was looking at a no name thread

And the story it told of the wayfers that flowed

made me glad to think it was dead

chorus

After nine days I let the words run free

'cause the lurkers had turned to see

there were suits and lies and crocks and fears

there was pain and hurts and tears

The ol'way is a desert with it's life underground

and the perfect disguise above

Under the pitys lies a heart made of ground

but the loy boys will give no love

lie lie lie lie lielielie lie lie lie lie lie

We now return to the regularly scheduled program.....

Edited by GraceOnGrace at: 7/29/00 4:08:17 pm

pamsandiego

Priestess of THE

(7/29/00 5:55:58 pm

Re: Thread With No NameGrace...

you've got the gift... no question.

Edited March 30, 2006 by dmiller

[moony3424]

Thanks David.

[krys]

And do you remember the "number runs" or "races" we used to have to get to a p-e-r-f-e-c-t number like 9000! We'd pose for hours on end....just post after post with one or two words in it.......

just to keep the numbers going UP - - when they told us the thread was too long on EZBoard. I didn't realized I was that rebellious then. tee hee

[Amazingrace]

Curiosity got the best of me...

I had to know about this thread called THE.

Night after night I read and I read

but with little understanding of what was being said.

I clicked on places called the real "THE"

but a full understanding I just could not see.

I admit I didn't read every single post

but I did detect a race as to who had the most.

Resigned myself to Newbie stupidity

Just couldn't grasp the "THE" validity.

Then one day I read Raf's creative origin of THE

and David generously followed with original stories from THE.

And now I am ever so thankful for all to see,

I have a little understanding as to the thread called THE.

[krys]

Amazingrace - - you are a-m-a-i-z-i-n-g!

Soon I will explain another of the tenets of THE concerning the Sacriment of Shaving.....and explain why I am the Shaver of THE.

[dmiller]

Read THE original for yourself -- Amazingrace. :)

THE ORIGINAL *THE* IS HERE.

Edited March 31, 2006 by dmiller

[moony3424]

I started re-reading it. THE says that greatness never dies.

[Amazingrace]

Thank you, Krysilis.

The Sacriment of Shaving.... I don't even have a guess as to what that's about, but I'm all ears... or eyes...

David, I've not begun to read but WILL. Your abiilty to "pull things out of a hat" never ceases to amaze me. I imagine I'm not alone in saying "thank you!"

[topoftheworld]

I guess Paw should be thanked for keeping THE alive, although it appears to be just a shadow of its former glory.

Did LOY ever get slammed to the wall?

Was Raf ever acquited?

Did Alice find her way out of the hole?