“I think that being without children gives some an opportunity to develop their own identity.”
I must respectfully disagree with you. Parenting does not come in a handbook. When you have children, you are challenged in ways you would not be if you did not have children. You learn things about yourself sometimes bad things sometimes good that you might not have had to face otherwise. For me it is a constant challenge not to raise her like I was raised. This has helped me heal those wounds that were inflicted on me by my parents. I am proud of myself for breaking the cycle and this has been the most rewarding challenge of my life.
“This may sound very selfish, and perhaps it is…Being without children give you the opportunity to expand your own horizons, develop your own interests, pursue your own goals, and do things that you enjoy.”
I don’t know what kind of parents you are around but most moms I know (including me) have a career and interests outside of the home that have nothing to do with their children. They might take a yoga class, pilates, gardening, etc. All parents need some “alone” time. This helps us be better parents. It is possible to juggle a career and children. As far as doing things I enjoy, I do that too. We just do it as a family.
Also, children usually spread their wings around 18. I must say that the way you described it ….it sounded like we would always be burdened by these pesky children.
I understand that some do not need or want to procreate. That is fine. I have plenty of friends who are childless and they do not want a child. I have never asked them why they don’t have children and I don’t think I ever will. We talk about lots of things politics, movies, stupid criminals stories, men/women trouble, etc. Just because I have a child, doesn’t mean I can’t speak and have relationships with people who do not.
"and for the pain inflicted on people for having none, one, or too many, i wish people could mind their own business" Amen sister! I guess both camps have their busybodies who are not happy unless others are made miserable. No one can decide your course, except you. There will always be those who want to put you down. Don't let them.
1. In the original post, the word "mommy" is in quotes, indicating that the writer is not claiming to be a mommy, but only to have taken on some of the characteristics or functions of a mommy.
2. I'm a father of a (small) multitude but do not see them often because of circumstances somewhat beyond my control. I did not see them on Father's Day.
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AdiosMiCorazon
“I think that being without children gives some an opportunity to develop their own identity.”
I must respectfully disagree with you. Parenting does not come in a handbook. When you have children, you are challenged in ways you would not be if you did not have children. You learn things about yourself sometimes bad things sometimes good that you might not have had to face otherwise. For me it is a constant challenge not to raise her like I was raised. This has helped me heal those wounds that were inflicted on me by my parents. I am proud of myself for breaking the cycle and this has been the most rewarding challenge of my life.
“This may sound very selfish, and perhaps it is…Being without children give you the opportunity to expand your own horizons, develop your own interests, pursue your own goals, and do things that you enjoy.”
I don’t know what kind of parents you are around but most moms I know (including me) have a career and interests outside of the home that have nothing to do with their children. They might take a yoga class, pilates, gardening, etc. All parents need some “alone” time. This helps us be better parents. It is possible to juggle a career and children. As far as doing things I enjoy, I do that too. We just do it as a family.
Also, children usually spread their wings around 18. I must say that the way you described it ….it sounded like we would always be burdened by these pesky children.
I understand that some do not need or want to procreate. That is fine. I have plenty of friends who are childless and they do not want a child. I have never asked them why they don’t have children and I don’t think I ever will. We talk about lots of things politics, movies, stupid criminals stories, men/women trouble, etc. Just because I have a child, doesn’t mean I can’t speak and have relationships with people who do not.
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Zshot
Upon reading your post...
I think you should be commended on your accomplishments
You also brought up some valid points.
Also, one of the things I like about you is that you can disagree with someone without being being disagreable.
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excathedra
in my case, having a child gave me the opportunity to expand my horizons in such a way i can't describe. it's like i found myself in one sense
but i know what you mean, Z. i am only talking about me -- not speaking for or about anyone else.
i don't think we have to put down anyone, with / without children / in order to be ourselves (not saying you did this)
and for the pain inflicted on people for having none, one, or too many, i wish people could mind their own business
love,
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AdiosMiCorazon
Thank you so much Zshot!!!!!
"and for the pain inflicted on people for having none, one, or too many, i wish people could mind their own business" Amen sister! I guess both camps have their busybodies who are not happy unless others are made miserable. No one can decide your course, except you. There will always be those who want to put you down. Don't let them.
We all have a story to tell.
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Oakspear
1. In the original post, the word "mommy" is in quotes, indicating that the writer is not claiming to be a mommy, but only to have taken on some of the characteristics or functions of a mommy.
2. I'm a father of a (small) multitude but do not see them often because of circumstances somewhat beyond my control. I did not see them on Father's Day.
Happy Un-Parents Day
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