Righteous Brother Posted July 14, 2002 Share Posted July 14, 2002 REDNECKS TIPS -------------- GENERAL Never take a beer to a job interview. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still rude to drive the U-Haul to the funeral home. DINING OUT When decanting wine from the box, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands. ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are. RB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sudo Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 A Kentucky couple, both bonafide rednecks and relatives of Littlehawk, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision--why after nine children, would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish. sudo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waysider Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Well, whadda ya' know. I thought it was because neither one could count to ten. It seems that in KY., counting is done on the teeth instead of the fingers and toes. ( I hope no one from KY. figures out I'm from the "worthless nut" state.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suda Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Fun thread. Enjoyed the laughs! Glad to be a Tennessee redneck! Suda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmiller Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 The toothbrush was invented in Arkansas. Had it been invented elsewhere -- it would've been called the *teeth-brush*. :blink: :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolchef Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 dan i beg to differ the teeth brush was invented in carthage maine where men are men and sheep are scared and where father's day is the most confusing day of the year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Sudo
A Kentucky couple, both bonafide rednecks and relatives of Littlehawk, had 9 children. They went to
the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor gladly
started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them
make the decision--why after nine children, would they choose to do
this.
The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out
of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and
they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because
neither of them could speak Spanish.
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waysider
Well, whadda ya' know. I thought it was because neither one could count to ten. It seems that in KY., counting is done on the teeth instead of the fingers and toes.
( I hope no one from KY. figures out I'm from the "worthless nut" state.)
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Suda
Fun thread. Enjoyed the laughs! Glad to be a Tennessee redneck!
Suda
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dmiller
The toothbrush was invented in Arkansas.
Had it been invented elsewhere -- it would've been called the *teeth-brush*.
:blink:
:blink:
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coolchef
dan i beg to differ
the teeth brush was invented in carthage maine where men are men and sheep are
scared and where father's day is the most confusing day of the year!
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