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Was I Wrong In How I Left?


MarkedAndAvoided
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After I decided to break from TWI, I got several harassing letters and phone calls as well as being ignored and smugged at public places by TWI believers in the town I lived at that time over 11 years ago. On one phone call from a Corps twig coordinator's wife she called and repeatedly kept telling me I was "out of fellowship", banned from any contact, and outside God's protection. I was already shook up enough and my stress level was still high for a while, maybe worse after I left due to the letters in the mail I got telling me I was "led by Satan" "bewitched", and "of the devil". I finally asked the woman to get her husband on the phone and he got on. I told him that if he or his wife ever called me again, I would hang up the phone and regardless of consequences, would personally come down to his apartment and call him out on the street. I also told him (since the Corps grapevine couldn't keep a lockbox for a nickel anyway) that if anyone again treated me impolite or smug me again in public that I would personally force my approach and pound their a**.

I did see them later but instead of giving me the smug look they all avoided me, which was fine for me, but I was hoping for something more peaceful. I just didn't know how to stop it from coming at me in those days. Did I use the wrong approach? Should I have used more reasoning?

Marked and Avoided

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O think you did great and showed great restraint.

You say they 'called repeatedly' and told you that you were being 'led by Satan'? Yea right

These morons belong in a looney bin ----not harassing people..... if you couldnt get through to them with reason, you have to speak in a language they understand....you were much more patient than I would've been

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I know what you mean by harrassment! I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I saw it happening while I was still "in" and it made me sick, that someone who was a brother 24 hours ago was such a "schlepp" in the next second.

When I left I planned it too....here is how I did it. One fellowship meeting, I just didn't want to go...so I didn't and I didn't call before hand. I just didn't show.

During the meetint, I phoned (knowing that the tc turned off the ringer on his phone) and left a message on the answering machine with a "don't call me anymore" at the end of it. They didn't! I went to school of the poor folks like you who did have to go through this. It is very degrading and dehumanizing and they do it for their own pleasure and to keep fellow twi'ers from getting close to you to find out why you left....lest they understand!

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hey, its not your fault they decided to moronic about the whole thing. I had something similar happen to me. I decided to leave and called the tc and let them know. I did not call anyone else because I didn't want to cause a big problem.

At fellowship the tc announced that I wouldn't be at fellowship anymore and for them not to contact me because I was possessed.

Well, that is what started the trouble. The people knew I had been in for years and they knew my heart. I was not possessed. They showed up at my house to talk about it. While there were there the tc came and walked right into the house. He demanded them to leave right now. Of course no one did.

They lost most of the fellowship that day. Did I do anything wrong? No I did what I thought would be the best way to not hurt anyone. They lost because they decided to make a big deal out of it.

Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

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I dont see where you were wrong.

You did well.

Bless you, May our Heavenly Father bless you in everyway, in the wonderful name of His son and our brother Jesus.

Galen

ET1 SS - USN Retired,

Pilgrim of the Ancient Arabic Order Nobles of the mystic shrine.

and

'University of Life' Alumni

family+in+1997.jpg?

"I live in the spirit of prayer. I pray as I walk, when I lie down, and when I rise. And the answers are always coming. Tens of thousands of times have my prayers been answered. When once I am persuaded that a thing is right, I go on praying for it. the great point is never to give up till the answer comes. The great fault of the children of God is, they do not continue in prayer, they do not persevere. If they desire anything for God's glory, they should pray until they get it." - George Mueller

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Hell no, you did nothing wrong! In fact, I think you showed amazing restraint. I would have contacted a lawyer, with harassing letters and answering machine messages as evidece, and threatened to sue the whole lot of them! Law suits seem to be the only thing that brings them up short anymore.

Vickles, that was great. Glad to see someone's departure opened some eyes in the process icon_biggrin.gif:D-->

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I think you were pretty reasonable.

I cursed out a few people when I said ~ NO MORE OF YOU PEOPLE ~ but I was a tad distraught at the time over the condition of a family member they REALLY shat on.

How am I doing?

lol.

You were great ~ the shame is on THEM!

What a sorry existance ~

I'm only regetting what I say here for the assignment of any blame I sense when the used and the injured feel bad ~

I know better...

I probably shouldn't have answered BUT...(;

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Is there a wrong way to leave the Way International?

Let's see... You didn't permanently injure or kill anybody - that's good.

You decided you weren't going to be used and abused by these manipulative bullies anymore - that's good.

You let them know beyond any reasonable doubt what would happen if they tried to force themselves on you again - that's good.

As far as I can see, you did it just right, M&A. Sure, it would have probably been nice to part ways amicably, but they just didn't give you that option.

Bottom line - any one who really knows you and buys the Way "company line" about you anyway isn't your friend. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Kevlar - Not thick, just impenetrable.

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"Did I use the wrong approach? Should I have used more reasoning?"

I doubt you could have reasoned with people like that. It appears to me they were the one's "out of fellowship"!

If anything I think you showed great restraint by not just kicking their a$$, since they appeared to have desrved it.

And while making threats may not always be the most godly form of communicating, maybe thats just what they needed to hear to leave you alone.

So no I don't think you used the wrong approach.

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No matter how you left, all that they heard was what Charlie Brown heard when adults spoke - "Wa wa wa waa wa wa waaa wha wha waaa"

Leaving "nicely" is like trying to teach a pig to sing - it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

Trying to reason with people so enmeshed in waybrain is like trying to reason with someone that has a lot of devil spirits. Ain't gonna happen.

In my opinion, your approach was very reasonable.

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M&A,

I think CC has a point. Mention the police and/or an attorney and many people sober up. Bullies usually hate the light of day. It might also help the next person. Otherwise, you probably showed more restraint that I could muster. The nice thing is you can live without regret for the way you handled your life. It may not be the same for them. Being able to sleep at night is a wonderful thing.

One last note, several folks have (maybe as a joke) mentioned TWI or their attorneys reading this. If you have hard feelings against someone, you may want to think twice about writing something that could be taken as a threat. It could come back to haunt you later.

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I don't think so...

I left when the Twig I was with broke up, then I went to a different Twig twice with folks I didn't know, but left when the teaching at the second session went Way, Way out into left field (so far out I couldn't reconsile it in my KJV if you can believe that). All of that involved quiet departure without threats or problems from the local leaders (not even a phone call) and I was still on speaking terms with former fellowship members, even the BC and LC (some of whom post here).

When I moved to West Virginia I contacted TWI to find a fellowship (HUGE mistake on my part). I got a call a week later from a FC up in Follansbee, WV (30 miles away at that time) who invited me to fellowship ASAP. A day or two later, my wife, Anna, received a call from the LC down in Charleston, WV. She told me that everything was cordial until she mentioned that she wasn't a "believer" (something that they should have known if they'd done ANY research at all). That's when the LC she was talking to got a bit nasty and self-righteous with her saying generally that she should take the class yesterday if not sooner. Things escalated into a shouting match where Anna told me that she finally told him to "...have aerial conversation with a perambulating perforated pastry...", and hung up on him.

Later that evening, I received a call from the guy in Follansbee, who demanded that I bring my whole family to fellowship that night. I told him that we had something else planned. He told me that i could change my plans to come up there. I told him I wouldn't and if he couldn't live with it to have a nice life and I'd call him when and if I'm ready in the future.

I haven't heard from them since, except that I remained on TWIs mailing list until the great purge in 1995.

So M&A'd I don't think you did anything wrong in your exit from TWI. I might have done the same if circumstances had been different for me.

You Rock!

Steve.

Â¥

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