Anger Management

[Sudo]

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to

take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know,take it out on

someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to

make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?" I

politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin

Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called

her. (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number).

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When

the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an a$$hole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down, with the word 'a$$hole' next to it, and put it in

my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a

really bad day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're an a$$hole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'a$$hole' calling

would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John

Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar

with the caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I

quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an a$$hole!"

So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently

waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot.

The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I

wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first a$$hole (I had his

number on speed dial by then), I thought I had better call the BMW a$$hole, too. I

dialed and someone said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the black

BMW for sale?" "Yes it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I

live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked

right out front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he

said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after

five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an

a$$hole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two a$$holes to call. But after several

months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came

up with an idea: I called A$$hole #1. "Hello." "You're an a$$hole!" (but I

didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop

calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My

name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "A$$hole, I live at 1802

West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black Beemer out front." He said,

"I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your

prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a$$hole."

Then I called a$$hole # 2: "Hello?" he said. "Hello A$$hole," I said. He

yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll what?" I said. "I'll

kick your a$$," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, a$$hole, here's your

chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police saying that I lived at

1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th

Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St. There, I saw two

a$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a

police helicopter, and news crew. Now, I feel better.

Have a great day!

sudo

[Cindy!]

Too funny, Sudo!!!

Do you hire out??? I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for harassment today.

[AdiosMiCorazon]

LOL!

What a great way to manage your stress. a$$hole$ beware!

[Steve!]

ANI NON SUNT PERMITENDERE

[Sudo]

Steve,

You talkin' about my momma, dude????

sudo

[firebee]

tongue bitin' time now

ps. Did you know my momma

from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

[firebee]

Hope you know I'm just foolin

from the poster formerly known as 'firebarrier'

[Steve!]

What, is your momma's name Annie?

ANI - plural of anus

NON SUNT PERMITENDERE - are not allowed

therefore

ANI NON SUNT PERMITENDERE

NO @ssh0l3s ALLOWED (or ALOUD, if you prefer)