Which is more or less saying what you're asking with different words.
You could also go to Goodreads.com and search for books about spiritual abuse.
There's also some memoirs from former Way Corps that you might find helpful. Of course, you probably have already identified and become aware of problems with TWI for yourself.
Long ago, people here at GSC were also recommending The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. This book was published 31 years ago. Much research has been done since 1991.
Written by one of our own friends, Charlene Edge, a memoir Undertow, My Escape From the Fundamentalism and Cult Control of the Way International. Is listed on the ICSA website, but you probably can get it for less directly from Charlene or from any online bookseller in either paperback or kindle edition.
From what I’ve observed coming to Grease Spot Café for 17 years is that TWI ‘escapees’ often go through a type of grief-period…that is a part of life anyway… dealing with grief and loss… the challenges we all face when going through the sorrow, pain and distress of losing someone, or losing a relationship, losing a job, losing our faith, losing social connections, etc...
I don’t know why you left. A lot of folks – after they’ve settled in with life outside TWI’s fantasy world – are surprised about the freedom they have to think and choose on their own. The longer you stay involved in TWI, the more your cognitive skills suffer. Most folks have a strong sense of disillusionment derived from the failure of TWIto fulfill its declared goals and usually right up there with that is the perception of inconsistencies between the actions of certain TWI-leaders and the ideals they supposedly represent.
There’s no one proven method for leaving TWI and unpacking the mental and emotional baggage. Most of my therapy has been self-directed. All our stories here are not meant to be a guide – but to provide hope – that one can successfully leave The Way International, unpack the mental and emotional baggage…that one can survive and hopefully thrive. All our stories here are proof that it can be done, and it won’t ruin your life.
Feel free to private message me if there are any concerns you don’t want to discuss in an open forum. Just remember I’m not a psychiatrist, therapist, clergy. My Dad was a medic in WWII – I sort of do something similar – I’m a Christian in service to Jesus Christ and I like to help those wounded by a pseudo-Christian harmful and controlling cult – and I don’t care what religion they are or if they have no religion… and please respect my privacy – I will respect yours - and in general for safety and security reasons we don’t give out names, personal info, and such…this is cyberspace…
…Grease Spot Café is legit and a good place to find out about the dark underbelly of TWI, share your story, get inspired from the stories of others and inspire others with your story. Well, on to phase 2 – your journey of self-determination.
Rocky gave you a very helpful reading list.
I’ll add a few more books, articles, Grease Spot Café threads, and self-help strategies that have helped me:
Hi Extremist. I read here at the Cafe for a few months before I got posting. I couldn't stop reading! It was so shocking - and enlightening.
Later, I found The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse (recommended above) a real eye-opener. With each chapter I read, it seemed as though everything in my heart was getting lighter. Couldn't put it down. Felt like I was floating on air when I'd finished it because all the burdens laid on by TWI had been taken away. And it doesn't even mention TWI, just goes on about typical culty behaviour. As the Good Book says: the truth will set you free.
I'd suggest you read some of the better threads - first few pages are usually the most interesting, then they sometimes get derailed, but may get back on track. You will find a variety of opinions and views here, some of which will annoy you and some of which you will agree with. That's fine! Means you are beginning to think clearly again. Form your own opinion.
It's very interesting when we see new people here, still a bit Waybrained and parroting the company line, and then we see them starting to put it together for themselves and really engaging with - with themselves, mostly. Enjoying the right to look outside of the Way tramlines.
You may find it helpful to join a good church that preaches the gospel. Try not to be too critical in what you think of people and the gospel message presented. Are the congregation pleasant, welcoming; or aloof and disengaged? Do they appear to care about each other and socialise before or after the service? Is the message soothing and uplifting, or condemnatory? You do not have to share anything about yourself that you are not truly comfortable doing. Most of us here don't discuss our culty pasts with people we don't know well - or even then.
Some people have found Divorce self-help groups useful to deal with the trauma of separation from what you've invested your life in.
But having said that, a true and trusted, empathetic, non-judgmental friend or maybe a couple of friends (no more) with whom you can be very honest, may be very helpful in being a sounding board to help you sort yourself out.
Your recovery strategy may to some extent depend on how you left TWI - voluntarily or kicked out, M&A'd or less viciously, and how long you'd been in.
Feel free to post your wackiest thoughts here. We have all been through the process of re-setting our courses post-TWI. Some still espouse Christianity, others don't want a shred of it. We want to help people like you.
Hey extremist I have one suggestion to add. Due to the years of “twig” activity and bonds, moving from that to a vacuum is emotionally challenging. Find one or more “small circles”. Each one of those will provide some kind of emotional support system and build up free will in the place of cult compliance and inactivity.
Ok sorry two suggestions. Exercise to get those good hormones going on a daily basis.
Question
Guest "extremist"
Hey everyone,
I wanted to ask if anyone has any resources to help the healing process mentally after leaving twi.
Except therapy, because that's too expensive for me right now.
Books/videos/groups that help you forgive and gain confidence again. Thanks for any help!
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Rocky
Hi Extremist,
I recently started a thread in the About the Way forum on the subject of
Which is more or less saying what you're asking with different words.
You could also go to Goodreads.com and search for books about spiritual abuse.
There's also some memoirs from former Way Corps that you might find helpful. Of course, you probably have already identified and become aware of problems with TWI for yourself.
Long ago, people here at GSC were also recommending The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. This book was published 31 years ago. Much research has been done since 1991.
The International Cultic Studies Association has resources you can either send for or perhaps find in public libraries.
Written by one of our own friends, Charlene Edge, a memoir Undertow, My Escape From the Fundamentalism and Cult Control of the Way International. Is listed on the ICSA website, but you probably can get it for less directly from Charlene or from any online bookseller in either paperback or kindle edition.
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T-Bone
Hi Extremist, welcome to Grease Spot Café!
From what I’ve observed coming to Grease Spot Café for 17 years is that TWI ‘escapees’ often go through a type of grief-period…that is a part of life anyway… dealing with grief and loss… the challenges we all face when going through the sorrow, pain and distress of losing someone, or losing a relationship, losing a job, losing our faith, losing social connections, etc...
I don’t know why you left. A lot of folks – after they’ve settled in with life outside TWI’s fantasy world – are surprised about the freedom they have to think and choose on their own. The longer you stay involved in TWI, the more your cognitive skills suffer. Most folks have a strong sense of disillusionment derived from the failure of TWI to fulfill its declared goals and usually right up there with that is the perception of inconsistencies between the actions of certain TWI-leaders and the ideals they supposedly represent.
There’s no one proven method for leaving TWI and unpacking the mental and emotional baggage. Most of my therapy has been self-directed. All our stories here are not meant to be a guide – but to provide hope – that one can successfully leave The Way International, unpack the mental and emotional baggage…that one can survive and hopefully thrive. All our stories here are proof that it can be done, and it won’t ruin your life.
Feel free to private message me if there are any concerns you don’t want to discuss in an open forum. Just remember I’m not a psychiatrist, therapist, clergy. My Dad was a medic in WWII – I sort of do something similar – I’m a Christian in service to Jesus Christ and I like to help those wounded by a pseudo-Christian harmful and controlling cult – and I don’t care what religion they are or if they have no religion… and please respect my privacy – I will respect yours - and in general for safety and security reasons we don’t give out names, personal info, and such…this is cyberspace…
…Grease Spot Café is legit and a good place to find out about the dark underbelly of TWI, share your story, get inspired from the stories of others and inspire others with your story. Well, on to phase 2 – your journey of self-determination.
Rocky gave you a very helpful reading list.
I’ll add a few more books, articles, Grease Spot Café threads, and self-help strategies that have helped me:
On cults
Spiritual Abuse Resources - Dysfunctional Churches
Cult Recruitment | HowStuffWorks
7 Sure-Fire Ways to Recognize False Teachers - Trending Christian Blog (crosswalk.com)
How can I recognize a false teacher / false prophet? | GotQuestions.org
“Don’t Drink the Kool-Aid!”: Unpacking The Dangerous Dreamland of Cults — Mars' Hill Newspaper (marshillnewspaper.com)
Six Sociological Characteristics of Cults (andynaselli.com)
Dangerous Cult Leaders | Psychology Today
12 Critical Thinking Errors That Crush Your Mental Strength – Awareness Act
Drinking the Kool-Aid - Wikipedia
~ ~ ~ ~
Some Bible stuff if you’re still into the Bible:
Beyond Seduction: A Return to Biblical Christianity: Hunt, Dave: 9780890815588: Amazon.com: Books
Scripture Twisting: 20 Ways the Cults Misread the Bible: Sire, James W.: 9780877846116: Amazon.com: Books
Understanding Doctrine: McGrath, Alister E.: 9780274839032: Amazon.com: Books
Making Sense of the Bible: Rediscovering the Power of Scripture Today: Hamilton, Adam: 9780062234988: Amazon.com: Books
Understanding the Bible: An Introduction for Skeptics, Seekers, and Religious Liberals: Buehrens, John A.: 9780807010532: Amazon.com: Books
The Bible Tells Me So: Why Defending Scripture Has Made Us Unable to Read It: Enns, Peter: 9780062272034: Amazon.com: Books
NIV, Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible, Bonded Leather, Black, Red Letter: Bringing to Life the Ancient World of Scripture: Zondervan, Keener, Craig S., Walton, John H.: 9780310431596: Amazon.com: Books
Textual criticism - what is it? | GotQuestions.org
~ ~ ~ ~
From Grease Spot Café threads about TWI
Jim Doop, The Way West and VPW - About The Way - GreaseSpot Cafe
PFAL Perception was EVERYTHING - About The Way - GreaseSpot Cafe
The Wierwille Legacy: Who Will Write The Book? - About The Way - GreaseSpot Cafe
How did the ordination of clergy thing work in TWI? - Page 3 - About The Way - GreaseSpot Cafe
Why I loved the Way years ago? - About The Way - GreaseSpot Cafe
Why PFAL sucks - About The Way - GreaseSpot Cafe
PFAL-Colored Glasses - Doctrinal: Exploring the Bible - GreaseSpot Cafe
~ ~ ~ ~
Some self-help and mental health stuff
12 Critical Thinking Errors That Crush Your Mental Strength – Awareness Act
Emotional and Psychological Trauma - HelpGuide.org
Spiritual Abuse Resources - Post-Cult Problems: An Exit Counselor's Perspective
Spiritual Abuse Resources - Guidelines for Spiritually Abused Persons
Inside Out - Kindle edition by Crabb, Larry. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
Grief - Wikipedia
George Bonanno - Wikipedia
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy: David D. Burns: 8580001040905: Amazon.com: Books
Best wishes on your journey,
Love and peace,
T-Bone
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Twinky
Hi Extremist. I read here at the Cafe for a few months before I got posting. I couldn't stop reading! It was so shocking - and enlightening.
Later, I found The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse (recommended above) a real eye-opener. With each chapter I read, it seemed as though everything in my heart was getting lighter. Couldn't put it down. Felt like I was floating on air when I'd finished it because all the burdens laid on by TWI had been taken away. And it doesn't even mention TWI, just goes on about typical culty behaviour. As the Good Book says: the truth will set you free.
I'd suggest you read some of the better threads - first few pages are usually the most interesting, then they sometimes get derailed, but may get back on track. You will find a variety of opinions and views here, some of which will annoy you and some of which you will agree with. That's fine! Means you are beginning to think clearly again. Form your own opinion.
It's very interesting when we see new people here, still a bit Waybrained and parroting the company line, and then we see them starting to put it together for themselves and really engaging with - with themselves, mostly. Enjoying the right to look outside of the Way tramlines.
You may find it helpful to join a good church that preaches the gospel. Try not to be too critical in what you think of people and the gospel message presented. Are the congregation pleasant, welcoming; or aloof and disengaged? Do they appear to care about each other and socialise before or after the service? Is the message soothing and uplifting, or condemnatory? You do not have to share anything about yourself that you are not truly comfortable doing. Most of us here don't discuss our culty pasts with people we don't know well - or even then.
Some people have found Divorce self-help groups useful to deal with the trauma of separation from what you've invested your life in.
But having said that, a true and trusted, empathetic, non-judgmental friend or maybe a couple of friends (no more) with whom you can be very honest, may be very helpful in being a sounding board to help you sort yourself out.
Your recovery strategy may to some extent depend on how you left TWI - voluntarily or kicked out, M&A'd or less viciously, and how long you'd been in.
Feel free to post your wackiest thoughts here. We have all been through the process of re-setting our courses post-TWI. Some still espouse Christianity, others don't want a shred of it. We want to help people like you.
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chockfull
Hey extremist I have one suggestion to add. Due to the years of “twig” activity and bonds, moving from that to a vacuum is emotionally challenging. Find one or more “small circles”. Each one of those will provide some kind of emotional support system and build up free will in the place of cult compliance and inactivity.
Ok sorry two suggestions. Exercise to get those good hormones going on a daily basis.
Best wishes and peace!
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