Thanks for sharing…your post is open and honest…I think I might relate to what you said about it getting lonely not having people that are like minded around…but I will also add that since I left in ’86, I’ve experienced some intersocial "adjustments". Without the mental/emotional/busy involvement strain and drain of TWI, I’ve been able to devote much overdue attention to my wife and kids…family life is sweet - it's a shame it was given a low priority in TWI.
…since I’ve joined Grease Spot in 2006 I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find some “kindred spirits”...a lot of friendly folks…some compatible with my take on TWI and even those who disagree are cool with the fact that we can’t be like-minded on everything…I think you might find there’s a lot more genuine love, sympathy and empathy in this little corner of cyberspace than in all of past or present TWI…In my humble opinion, it seems Grease Spotters are like-minded on at least oneof the most important aspects/benefits of leaving a harmful and controlling cult – freedom to think and choose your own path.
I wish you the best on your journey and look forward to other stuff you might choose to share with us.
Welcome, Cheri. Please excuse T-Bone for being so rude and not offering you cake and coffee. Do you like cheesecake? Share a piece with me! Waiter! on my tab, please!
You sound as though you escaped with your thinking ability still intact, Cheri. Good, keep it that way. You will find likeminded folks here - and some who are not so likeminded, so it makes for interesting discussions at times. And why not?
If you can find yourself a decent church (choose a smaller one where you can get to know people, not a mega church), you may well find more like-minded folks than you expect. There will be differences in belief, but do overlook those: no-one is wholly right on anything, and we as exWayfers surely know that!
Instead of thinking that people in a church are "wrong," look instead to what you have in common: a love for God, acceptance of what Jesus did for us all in choosing to pay for our wrongdoings of all kinds, and the great grace shown to us. See how the congregation manifests love to each other, to you, and to the community around them. While it's worth exploring why they may believe something differently (and thus testing the integrity of your own beliefs), do look more to what you have in common with these brothers and sisters in Christ. You'll spend eternity with them. Why not start getting to know them now?
Good post, BTW, T-Bone. Go on, play us a tune while we enjoy a bevvy?
okay
here’s a tune that was released the year we left TWI. It’s called Back in the High Life Again by Steve Winwood…
My wife and I adopted it as our theme song of freedom and recovery…it’s a sweet and light song – and you know how it is when you’re going through something, and it coincides with a new song you hear – and it’s not like every word in the lyrics meshes with your experience – but a line or two really resonates with what you’re feeling.
Here's a few lines that really connected with us: I'll be back in the high life again
All the doors I closed one time
Will open up again
The song reflects on the past…it’s nostalgic but also hopeful of recapturing that happiness and enjoying each other instead of seeking fulfilment and purpose in TWI…
“high life” usually means an extravagant social life as enjoyed by the wealthy… leaving the TWI’s exclusivity and financial exploitation has the promise of getting back into a normal social life – to reconnect with old friends/family and having the freedom to make new friends of our choosing.
And any doors we closed because we felt pressured to do so whether it was about a career, college, hobbies, goals we forgot about…whatever – we now have the freedom to open again…not forking over so much of our money, time, efforts and resources to TWI would indeed be a huge improvement of our financial situation…we actually bought our first house a year later…the loan officer for our mortgage couldn’t believe we never had a credit card. Had to have my parents cosign the loan.
Great to hear from you Cheri. What TWI was able to take from me, and which I have not been able to regain, is building relationships. I was convinced ANYONE not associated with TWI was unhealthy and to be avoided. This belief made me cut off all relationships with friends and family. At one point I even considered naming a couple in the way legal guardians of our daughter if we should die. Thankfully, I never carried it to that extent.
Being associated with TWI was not my first go around at trying to make sense of God in my life. All failed miderably. Finally, I came to the conclusion there is no God, but He is only a creation by man like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny.
In case you missed the announcements, this is probably a good time to point out that the GSC doesn't have any requirements of beliefs or statements of beliefs. As survivors of twi, some of us are still Christian (waves hand), some of us have embraced any of a variety of other religions like Judaism or Wicca, some of us have rejected all conventional types of religion, some of us are atheists. It shouldn't be a shock, post-twi, to find out that some people were burned so badly in twi that they outright hate Christianity, and they may also be around as well. Most of the twi survivors have moved on to other things, and, as always, I consider them GSC success stories because they were able to move on with their lives.
Don't be surprised if you also find, here or elsewhere, ex-twi who all but worship vpw and insist-against all logic and internal consistency- that God Almighty really DID speak to him and said he's God's Greatest Spokesman for the last 2000 years. There's a handful of them around here and other places. Also around, and more common, are Christians who left twi but are still Christians. Some have changed beliefs since then (having rejected what they saw as errors of twi), some haven't changed their beliefs much. As for "around here", I found that the Covid crisis changed what was "around here" for a lot of people. If a group has a Skype or a Zoom meeting, in place of or in addition to, their live meeting, it doesn't matter if the attendees live down the block or on another continent. So long as you can get online, you can attend the meeting, so bad weather, ill health, quarantines, etc. don't change that.
Also around, and more common, are Christians who left twi but are still Christians. Some have changed beliefs since then (having rejected what they saw as errors of twi),
I fall into this category. Hi and welcome to GSC. Glad to have you here!
I only come here for the refreshments. Feel free to help yourself to a fresh cup of coffee. (Not the "stretched" kind you might expect at a TWI function)
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T-Bone
Welcome to Grease Spot Café, Cheri !
Thanks for sharing…your post is open and honest…I think I might relate to what you said about it getting lonely not having people that are like minded around…but I will also add that since I left in ’86, I’ve experienced some intersocial "adjustments". Without the mental/emotional/busy involvement strain and drain of TWI, I’ve been able to devote much overdue attention to my wife and kids…family life is sweet - it's a shame it was given a low priority in TWI.
…since I’ve joined Grease Spot in 2006 I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find some “kindred spirits”...a lot of friendly folks…some compatible with my take on TWI and even those who disagree are cool with the fact that we can’t be like-minded on everything…I think you might find there’s a lot more genuine love, sympathy and empathy in this little corner of cyberspace than in all of past or present TWI…In my humble opinion, it seems Grease Spotters are like-minded on at least one of the most important aspects/benefits of leaving a harmful and controlling cult – freedom to think and choose your own path.
I wish you the best on your journey and look forward to other stuff you might choose to share with us.
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Twinky
Welcome, Cheri. Please excuse T-Bone for being so rude and not offering you cake and coffee. Do you like cheesecake? Share a piece with me! Waiter! on my tab, please!
You sound as though you escaped with your thinking ability still intact, Cheri. Good, keep it that way. You will find likeminded folks here - and some who are not so likeminded, so it makes for interesting discussions at times. And why not?
If you can find yourself a decent church (choose a smaller one where you can get to know people, not a mega church), you may well find more like-minded folks than you expect. There will be differences in belief, but do overlook those: no-one is wholly right on anything, and we as exWayfers surely know that!
Instead of thinking that people in a church are "wrong," look instead to what you have in common: a love for God, acceptance of what Jesus did for us all in choosing to pay for our wrongdoings of all kinds, and the great grace shown to us. See how the congregation manifests love to each other, to you, and to the community around them. While it's worth exploring why they may believe something differently (and thus testing the integrity of your own beliefs), do look more to what you have in common with these brothers and sisters in Christ. You'll spend eternity with them. Why not start getting to know them now?
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Twinky
Good post, BTW, T-Bone. Go on, play us a tune while we enjoy a bevvy?
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T-Bone
okay
here’s a tune that was released the year we left TWI. It’s called Back in the High Life Again by Steve Winwood…
My wife and I adopted it as our theme song of freedom and recovery…it’s a sweet and light song – and you know how it is when you’re going through something, and it coincides with a new song you hear – and it’s not like every word in the lyrics meshes with your experience – but a line or two really resonates with what you’re feeling.
Here's a few lines that really connected with us:
I'll be back in the high life again
All the doors I closed one time
Will open up again
The song reflects on the past…it’s nostalgic but also hopeful of recapturing that happiness and enjoying each other instead of seeking fulfilment and purpose in TWI…
“high life” usually means an extravagant social life as enjoyed by the wealthy… leaving the TWI’s exclusivity and financial exploitation has the promise of getting back into a normal social life – to reconnect with old friends/family and having the freedom to make new friends of our choosing.
And any doors we closed because we felt pressured to do so whether it was about a career, college, hobbies, goals we forgot about…whatever – we now have the freedom to open again…not forking over so much of our money, time, efforts and resources to TWI would indeed be a huge improvement of our financial situation…we actually bought our first house a year later…the loan officer for our mortgage couldn’t believe we never had a credit card. Had to have my parents cosign the loan.
…anyway enjoy the tune:
Edited by T-BoneBack in the Editor's Chair Again
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Twinky
Good one, T-Bone.. Can see why that would resonate.
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Stayed Too Long
Great to hear from you Cheri. What TWI was able to take from me, and which I have not been able to regain, is building relationships. I was convinced ANYONE not associated with TWI was unhealthy and to be avoided. This belief made me cut off all relationships with friends and family. At one point I even considered naming a couple in the way legal guardians of our daughter if we should die. Thankfully, I never carried it to that extent.
Edited by Stayed Too LongBeing associated with TWI was not my first go around at trying to make sense of God in my life. All failed miderably. Finally, I came to the conclusion there is no God, but He is only a creation by man like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny.
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WordWolf
In case you missed the announcements, this is probably a good time to point out that the GSC doesn't have any requirements of beliefs or statements of beliefs. As survivors of twi, some of us are still Christian (waves hand), some of us have embraced any of a variety of other religions like Judaism or Wicca, some of us have rejected all conventional types of religion, some of us are atheists. It shouldn't be a shock, post-twi, to find out that some people were burned so badly in twi that they outright hate Christianity, and they may also be around as well. Most of the twi survivors have moved on to other things, and, as always, I consider them GSC success stories because they were able to move on with their lives.
Don't be surprised if you also find, here or elsewhere, ex-twi who all but worship vpw and insist-against all logic and internal consistency- that God Almighty really DID speak to him and said he's God's Greatest Spokesman for the last 2000 years. There's a handful of them around here and other places. Also around, and more common, are Christians who left twi but are still Christians. Some have changed beliefs since then (having rejected what they saw as errors of twi), some haven't changed their beliefs much. As for "around here", I found that the Covid crisis changed what was "around here" for a lot of people. If a group has a Skype or a Zoom meeting, in place of or in addition to, their live meeting, it doesn't matter if the attendees live down the block or on another continent. So long as you can get online, you can attend the meeting, so bad weather, ill health, quarantines, etc. don't change that.
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OldSkool
I fall into this category. Hi and welcome to GSC. Glad to have you here!
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waysider
I only come here for the refreshments. Feel free to help yourself to a fresh cup of coffee. (Not the "stretched" kind you might expect at a TWI function)
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