We've explored the issue, but maybe not from this angle

[Rocky]

I found this blog on the Psychology Today website after listening to a couple of TED Talks by psychologist Guy Winch.

 

The Importance of Belonging to a Tribe

The curative powers of group identity.

Posted Feb 19, 2020

As social animals, we have a "need to belong." We might not experience this need consciously or even be aware that we have it but it resides deep within us nonetheless. After all, in our historical past, we lived in tribes with whose members we spent our entire lives. Today, our "tribe" is often our immediate family—those with whom we live and share meals. However, given the fractured nature of today’s families (picture five people sitting in different rooms, each absorbed with their own screen), and given that unmarried adults often live alone or with roommates, our "need to belong" often goes partially or substantially unmet. What makes it important to address our need to belong to a group(s) is that it is not just a theoretical construct: It has real and significant implications for our emotional health.

Here are some of the ways joining a group and finding our "tribe" can improve our happiness and emotional resilience. (continued) [...]

If you do not have a "tribe" of your own, take the time to seek one out or create one. Doing so requires effort and initiative but the return on investment will be worth it as it can give a significant boost to your quality of life and your emotional well-being.

Btw, here are links to the two TED Talks 

Young people (when we were young) were drawn to veepee's cult by the tribal need to belong.

Coincidentally, a new movie that opens tomorrow in the US addresses the need to belong for both kids and an alcoholic adult.
 

 

[Twinky]

After TWI through me out most ignominiously, I was desperate and really felt I didn't belong anywhere.  I was living in another country with no friends (they'd all been Wayfers) and no family.  Happily I'd lived in the other country long enough to qualify to apply for naturalisation.  But "belonging" really helped in my slow recovery.

[Twinky]

"We can't change the past, Jack; what we can do is choose how we move forward."

 

 

Isn't life fabulously good when you're free in your head!!!

[T-Bone]

Thanks for those links, Rocky...Guy Winch’s emotional first-aid talk - when he got into feelings of loneliness and failure that really struck a nerve with me, reminding me of how I initially felt after leaving TWI. I had such a connection with the group (emotionally & socially) and had hopes of achieving great things with them. 

I guess the mounting questions and doubts I harbored were a big chunk of why I decided to sever all times...something I didn’t anticipate though was the social void that left me in ; I think there was an interim time of ...alienation (?) when I was neither here nor there (in TWI) - between worlds ? ...anyway there’s also the long and drawn out process of unpacking / sorting out the mental baggage. But there’s something to be said for the indomitable spirit within us. That ties into the link you gave on emotional resilience. Great article ! The following is a quote from it:

“Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make a person resilient, such as a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback. Research shows that optimism helps blunt the impact of stress on the mind and body in the wake of disturbing experiences. And that gives people access to their own cognitive resources, enabling cool-headed analysis of what might have gone wrong and consideration of behavioral paths that might be more productive.”

 

What is life Like after TWI? reconnecting with old friends and family...making new connections on the journey...mentally rewriting a different narrative for my time in TWI...always developing critical and creative thinking skills.

Edited March 6, 2020 by T-Bone
Formatting and revisions

[Rocky]

12 hours ago, Twinky said:

Isn't life fabulously good when you're free in your head!!!

Even when faced with immensely challenging situations. 

[Rocky]

3 hours ago, T-Bone said:

Thanks for those links, Rocky...Guy Winch’s emotional first-aid talk - when he got into feelings of loneliness and failure that really struck a nerve with me, reminding me of how I initially felt after leaving TWI. I had such a connection with the group (emotionally & socially) and had hopes of achieving great things with them. 

I guess the mounting questions and doubts I harbored were a big chunk of why I decided to sever all times...something I didn’t anticipate though was the social void that left me in ; I think there was an interim time of ...alienation (?) when I was neither here nor there (in TWI) - between worlds ? ...anyway there’s also the long and drawn out process of unpacking / sorting out the mental baggage. But there’s something to be said for the indomitable spirit within us. That ties into the link you gave on emotional resilience. Great article ! The following is a quote from it:

“Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make a person resilient, such as a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback. Research shows that optimism helps blunt the impact of stress on the mind and body in the wake of disturbing experiences. And that gives people access to their own cognitive resources, enabling cool-headed analysis of what might have gone wrong and consideration of behavioral paths that might be more productive.”

 

What is life Like after TWI? reconnecting with old friends and family...making new connections on the journey...mentally rewriting a different narrative for my time in TWI...always developing critical and creative thinking skills.

Indeed, I didn't realize the crucial nature of the social connections twi provided at that time.

Reconnecting with old friends and family is a wonderful thing and a great first step (when available) for finding "one's own tribe."  Thanks T-Bone.
 

 

[Grace Valerie Claire]

On 3/6/2020 at 1:25 PM, T-Bone said:

Thanks for those links, Rocky...Guy Winch’s emotional first-aid talk - when he got into feelings of loneliness and failure that really struck a nerve with me, reminding me of how I initially felt after leaving TWI. I had such a connection with the group (emotionally & socially) and had hopes of achieving great things with them. 

I guess the mounting questions and doubts I harbored were a big chunk of why I decided to sever all times...something I didn’t anticipate though was the social void that left me in ; I think there was an interim time of ...alienation (?) when I was neither here nor there (in TWI) - between worlds ? ...anyway there’s also the long and drawn out process of unpacking / sorting out the mental baggage. But there’s something to be said for the indomitable spirit within us. That ties into the link you gave on emotional resilience. Great article ! The following is a quote from it:

“Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make a person resilient, such as a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback. Research shows that optimism helps blunt the impact of stress on the mind and body in the wake of disturbing experiences. And that gives people access to their own cognitive resources, enabling cool-headed analysis of what might have gone wrong and consideration of behavioral paths that might be more productive.”

 

What is life Like after TWI? reconnecting with old friends and family...making new connections on the journey...mentally rewriting a different narrative for my time in TWI...always developing critical and creative thinking skills.

T-Bone, I think life after TWI, is very liberating.  I have far more time, and money now, than I did during my time in TWI.  I'm not out wasting my time, "witnessing ", nor am I taking a lot of boring, meaningless Bible Classes.  I sat through the PFAL class, at least a dozen times, and hated it.  I am much kinder, and loving now, than I was as a "believer. "  Nowadays, I say what I mean, and mean what I say.  I am allowed to be my authentic self; not what some one thinks I should be.  Looking back, I think I was an jerk, while in TWI.  We were always expected to stay "positive," even during times of sorrow.  Nowadays, I have the right to agree, or disagree with various POVS.  Years ago, whatever TWI said, was what we all said, even if we privately disagreed with it.  Nowadays, my life is wonderful, and I am free to be the person God wants me to be.  How liberating that is!!