5) "Having disabled logical thinking about the traumatic relationship, the leader can then introduce even more of the fictitious ideology to explain away and redirect the follower’s terror. It’s a positive feedback loop with a biochemical element: physiologically, the victim is engaged in an effort to manage their cortisol or anxiety levels by seeking proximity to a safe haven, but never succeeding in attaining adequate comfort.It is for this reason that we can predict that cultic systems will attempt to interfere with and control any alternative attachment relationships a person might have. To fail to do so would allow the follower to find a safe haven elsewhere and potentially escape the emotional and cognitive control of the group.This is the same thing we see in controlling relationships such as in cases of domestic violence, of the Stockholm Syndrome or, frequently, with pimps and prostitutes, as well as in human trafficking." [I did not stick around long enough to experience this, but a few folks I knew did.]
THIS. THIS.
This is why I could not leave the group for so long.
1. My family went into the FC when I was just over the age limit. So, my entire family left me behind. - RELATIONSHIP WEAKENED
2. Abandoned, I had nowhere else to go, so I obeyed my parents and went WOW so that I could have some kind of support around me. WOW became my family. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP REPLACED BY TWI
3. I stayed in Las Vegas with some of the WOWs on my team afterwards - where else would I go? My family was still in FC for another 2 or 3 years. FAMILY EVEN MORE WEAKENED
4. Family was made Mark and Avoid. Mosqueda called my Limb coordinator so that he could get to me before my family was able to call. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP DESTROYED, DEPEND ON TWI ONLY
5. I tried to keep connection with my family but was told by my Limb coordinator that I needed to "put God first" and that my family was "operating devil spirits, especially your mom."
6. I Marked and Avoided my family. For YEARS I had no contact with them. The only people I had around for support were from twi.
7. I decided (at the pushing of the Limb Coordinators) to go WD.
7a. Coincidentally, I finally accepted calls and a visit from my brothers, and then my parents at this time. Started rebuilding those relationships again.
8. I was treated as "special" when John Rupp called me and asked me to go on Staff as a WD - what an HONOR! (puke)
9. I went WD, met this guy who wasn't raised in the Word, who stood up against leadership when they were wrong.
10. HQ people (WC) tried to separate us. Told us "NO DATING ON THE WAY DISCIPLE FIELD." OH NO, STOP RELATIONSHIP BUILDING!
11. The night WD ended, we started dating.
12. Engaged in 3 months and stayed at HQ - both of us were afraid the other would break up if we left HQ (didn't figure this out until years later.)
13. We both finally had someone we could really talk to and trust. Started figuring out just HOW HORRIBLE HQ was - and that it wasn't just in our heads, and it wasn't us who was "out of fellowship."
14. Married at HQ the next year - probably too early in our relationship. My family came. REBUILDING FAMILY. STARTING A NEW ONE.
15. Left HQ, moved out on the field. But our eyes were opened, and we could see that it was just as messed up on the field as it was at HQ.
16. When my husband realized that he wasn't treating me well AS HIS WIFE, he turned to his leadership for help - they told him he was right to treat me that way because a man is the head of the house. TRYING TO ERODE AND ERASE THE RELATIONSHIP
17. Married for 3 years, and got pregnant. Husband had stopped attending fellowship at that point, and I was wavering. My fellowship coordinator shows up AT MY JOB and asks how I am doing. I tell him I am pregnant, and he responds "oh, is that a good thing?" FAMILY ISN'T GOOD TO THE WAY BECAUSE IT GETS IN THE WAY OF CONTROL.
18. We finally ghosted TWI and moved out of town, leaving no forwarding address. We were able to do this BECAUSE of my husband's family, who we are very close with.
19. Happily married now for 15 years. Our daughter turns 12 tomorrow. I have a better relationship with my family than I ever have. We talk weekly. TWI can suck it.
IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THEY KEPT TRYING TO DESTROY. IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT GOT ME OUT.
MORE HARMONY IN THE HOME?? That was a LIE from hell.
18. We finally ghosted TWI and moved out of town, leaving no forwarding address. We were able to do this BECAUSE of my husband's family, who we are very close with.
19. Happily married now for 15 years. Our daughter turns 12 tomorrow. I have a better relationship with my family than I ever have. We talk weekly. TWI can suck it.
1) "... the leader is both charismatic and authoritarian. ... "Not all leaders want to get rich, gain sexual favours, or grab political power. But all want utter control over others." [Yep]
(snip)
I think being in TWI is like being in a toxic relationship. It proved to be a one-sided relationship - something very bad and draining to my intellectual, emotional, physical, social, and financial health. It’s been some 34 years since I left the cult and have come to realize that TWI is like a parasite.... It needs the life, money and energy of followers – this is a one-sided relationship and by far outweighs whatever the cult supposedly provides its followers. A cult needs people – it depends on them for its very survival…I think cult leaders want to have a lot of power over followers to properly manage their “resources” and ensure that no talent, energy, money…whatever is wasted on anything outside the cult.
Annio, that Terror, Love and Brainwashing book by Alexandra Stein sounds interesting – I’ve put it on my wish list to check out sometime – thanks for mentioning it.
As a former lawyer, and occasionally I did a bit of work in matrimonial matters, I never really "got" abusive couple relationships and why one would keep returning to the abusive partner time after time. I knew the "theory" (if you like); but I didn't understand the gradual erosion of boundaries. "If he keeps hitting you like that - just leave!"
Later, processing my experiences post-Way, ah! then I "got" it. Emotionally. Whole different picture then.
This is why I could not leave the group for so long.
1. My family went into the FC when I was just over the age limit. So, my entire family left me behind. - RELATIONSHIP WEAKENED
2. Abandoned, I had nowhere else to go, so I obeyed my parents and went WOW so that I could have some kind of support around me. WOW became my family. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP REPLACED BY TWI
3. I stayed in Las Vegas with some of the WOWs on my team afterwards - where else would I go? My family was still in FC for another 2 or 3 years. FAMILY EVEN MORE WEAKENED
IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THEY KEPT TRYING TO DESTROY. IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT GOT ME OUT.
MORE HARMONY IN THE HOME?? That was a LIE from hell
Wow, JJ, well done! I so ID with the highlighted sections above!! Pretty amazing what we can endure sometimes... So glad you have reconnected well with families, and thank you for processing/telling your amazing Life Story here!
This is why I could not leave the group for so long.
1. My family went into the FC when I was just over the age limit. So, my entire family left me behind. - RELATIONSHIP WEAKENED
2. Abandoned, I had nowhere else to go, so I obeyed my parents and went WOW so that I could have some kind of support around me. WOW became my family. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP REPLACED BY TWI
3. I stayed in Las Vegas with some of the WOWs on my team afterwards - where else would I go? My family was still in FC for another 2 or 3 years. FAMILY EVEN MORE WEAKENED
4. Family was made Mark and Avoid. Mosqueda called my Limb coordinator so that he could get to me before my family was able to call. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP DESTROYED, DEPEND ON TWI ONLY
5. I tried to keep connection with my family but was told by my Limb coordinator that I needed to "put God first" and that my family was "operating devil spirits, especially your mom."
6. I Marked and Avoided my family. For YEARS I had no contact with them. The only people I had around for support were from twi.
7. I decided (at the pushing of the Limb Coordinators) to go WD.
7a. Coincidentally, I finally accepted calls and a visit from my brothers, and then my parents at this time. Started rebuilding those relationships again.
8. I was treated as "special" when John Rupp called me and asked me to go on Staff as a WD - what an HONOR! (puke)
9. I went WD, met this guy who wasn't raised in the Word, who stood up against leadership when they were wrong.
10. HQ people (WC) tried to separate us. Told us "NO DATING ON THE WAY DISCIPLE FIELD." OH NO, STOP RELATIONSHIP BUILDING!
11. The night WD ended, we started dating.
12. Engaged in 3 months and stayed at HQ - both of us were afraid the other would break up if we left HQ (didn't figure this out until years later.)
13. We both finally had someone we could really talk to and trust. Started figuring out just HOW HORRIBLE HQ was - and that it wasn't just in our heads, and it wasn't us who was "out of fellowship."
14. Married at HQ the next year - probably too early in our relationship. My family came. REBUILDING FAMILY. STARTING A NEW ONE.
15. Left HQ, moved out on the field. But our eyes were opened, and we could see that it was just as messed up on the field as it was at HQ.
16. When my husband realized that he wasn't treating me well AS HIS WIFE, he turned to his leadership for help - they told him he was right to treat me that way because a man is the head of the house. TRYING TO ERODE AND ERASE THE RELATIONSHIP
17. Married for 3 years, and got pregnant. Husband had stopped attending fellowship at that point, and I was wavering. My fellowship coordinator shows up AT MY JOB and asks how I am doing. I tell him I am pregnant, and he responds "oh, is that a good thing?" FAMILY ISN'T GOOD TO THE WAY BECAUSE IT GETS IN THE WAY OF CONTROL.
18. We finally ghosted TWI and moved out of town, leaving no forwarding address. We were able to do this BECAUSE of my husband's family, who we are very close with.
19. Happily married now for 15 years. Our daughter turns 12 tomorrow. I have a better relationship with my family than I ever have. We talk weekly. TWI can suck it.
IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THEY KEPT TRYING TO DESTROY. IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT GOT ME OUT.
MORE HARMONY IN THE HOME?? That was a LIE from hell.
no problem. There was a lot of details between those steps - like when I was on "spiritual probation" for a month and wasn't allowed to hang out with other believers outside of fellowship, and the point where I was really seriously contemplating suicide.
All in all, I survived and am living well. I worked through a lot of it while I was writing a novel called Blackbird Raven Crow, something I never would have allowed myself to do while in Way World. Considering how hard it was to write, it sure helped me get my head on straight so I could understand what I really thought and what was just the crazy made up world of TWI. The world it is set in is modern day Midwestern US, but crawling with demons, angels, and other supernatural creatures. The protagonist is a protector of humanity's free will who lives in the grey areas. His best friend gets caught up in a cult...
Anywho... if you want to take a look here is the link. It helped a couple people who have been involved in what we were. The journal entries are based on my own experiences in TWI.
Speaking of spiritual probation - my brother and his wife were put on it because their house was too dirty. He told me they didn't have time to clean it because they were always going to meetings. Anyway, they realized they were happier being away from TWI so they left for good.
no problem. There was a lot of details between those steps - like when I was on "spiritual probation" for a month and wasn't allowed to hang out with other believers outside of fellowship, and the point where I was really seriously contemplating suicide.
All in all, I survived and am living well. I worked through a lot of it while I was writing a novel called Blackbird Raven Crow, something I never would have allowed myself to do while in Way World. Considering how hard it was to write, it sure helped me get my head on straight so I could understand what I really thought and what was just the crazy made up world of TWI. The world it is set in is modern day Midwestern US, but crawling with demons, angels, and other supernatural creatures. The protagonist is a protector of humanity's free will who lives in the grey areas. His best friend gets caught up in a cult...
Anywho... if you want to take a look here is the link. It helped a couple people who have been involved in what we were. The journal entries are based on my own experiences in TWI.
Java Jane, just bought your book. Looks good. You got some good reviews.
Thank you! It has been an adventure for sure. I wrote it with the idea of helping myself, and maybe in the process helping others. Helping people who were in groups like TWI, and also helping others outside to understand that the people who fall for cults are not stupid or ignorant. The rank and file of TWI were some of the best quality people I have ever known - but the belief system and top down control of the group ruined all of it. The world could have been enriched 1000xs over by those people's kind hearts and abilities. But we wasted them on a false cause. I am going to get those years back by living the rest of them to the fullest.
I call this brain washing. See if you are trained to think in a certain way and dwell on it long enough- your mind can be guided by a pig
especially if you have got to the stage where you trust him enough to do his bidding.
When Hitler got up the podium to "preach" hatred of the jews to the nation of Germany,
A lot of people didnt take him seriously but day by day he hammered the same old theme of why
the jews were scoundrels and rats that must be exterminated.
As this went on day after day, there came a time when the people of Germany convinced themselves that the jews must be eradicated
from society. Middle classs and honest christians were volunteering to take turns to take a gun with them
and finish off their given assignments - killing a jew
Ordinarily these honest middle class working people would never even dream of doing such a thing
Why did they do it? They were "protecting" the nation from the "merciless" jews who were going to "enslave"
them. Hitler himself was a devout catholic and was considered a family man
In the case of VPW- it was a case of systematic brainwashing- it's over a series of classes
People are committed to it because they have paid for it- VPW says he is charging because
people wont take the class and quit if he doesnt put a price for the class- That's right so he can
properly brain wash them to accept him as a creditable, trustworthy and Godly man with the utmost integrity.
He talks about it a lot so it will be etched in people's mind- Satan's servant must have definitely done his homework
The pfal class is the starting point where he builds such an incredible amount of trust and credibility- a "man of God"
honest, truthful and he talks a lot of the heroics of Paul and Jesus Christ was a man's man- That was true
but VPW was helping himself to credibility by associating himself with others with an undeniable proven track record
VPW was a shameless pig who rode on the reputation and bravery of people like Paul and Jesus Christ and people make the mistake
of ascribing trust and integrity to VPW - wow what a man, we think.
Pfal class- Build trust, credibility and integrity-
He talks about it so much that we associate trust, credibility and integrity to VPW
Intermediate Class -Demonstration of the "power of God"
We see in action a "mighty man of God" like we have never seen before
Finally someome teaching us to "intrepret" toungues and "prophesy"- He hides behind "forth telling" because everyone is entitled to it
Fore telling- Only true prophets called by God can do it but forth telling- VPW can teach you- it doesnt matter if he is liar- you dont know
about it (world's best kept secret) . Mrs VPW bag is a kid's lunchbox when compared to what's VPW's character like
Christian Family & Sex Class- Priming & Loosening up of Sex Boundaries
I reckon this is the whole aim of VPW in this class. It's priming women for his private sexual rights to any women -especially the young ones who
go through his "brainwashing and trust building classes" . I dont know if he charged for this class but I never got to take it
The ones targetted by VPW as we know are told that they are a very special calibre of women who can handle the task
of relieving "overburned and stressed " "man of God" by satisfying his sexual need
and people succumb to these lies because they have been trained to trust and obey along the lines of a top notch soldier
It remind me of the movie called "true lies"
These type of brain washing and extending the boundaries doesnt happen overnight- it's over a period of time
and people dont even realise what's happening to them and how they are extending the boundaries to let the bear in.
TWI distances itself from other cults by saying and it's so common (again gain credibility by associating
with Godly people in the bible by saying - "Oh The pharisees and general public also called the band of
people following Jesus Christ -a cult"
So we are thinking to ourelves, Hmmm! That means TWI must be in the same boat as the disciples of Jesus Christ
This is a trap- where people dont even check TWI because they think that if they check TWI- they are going to get the
same reaction from the church groups or general poulation. Well VPW is a "greeaaat" minister of the Lord- how dare they?
Why should we let other people call us a cult when TWI is such a wonderful organization "teaching" people the word
Not realising that VPW is the most shameless wild pig there is - as someone once said an active resident of sodom and gomorrah
would blush if he saw what goes on at TWI
This is why parents have a duty to love their children and nurture them with the word of God
so there is a protection around their children constantly. Even older people have been conned and this
is why whenever someone gives "religious class". The first thing to do is to check the "teacher"
out and check the "organization out" thoroughly before serious harm is done
if only I had gone to the internet to do a bit of reearch on TWi and I might have found GSC and
it would have saved e years of heartache
VPW used to say people should pray and just trust God and dont worry (meaning dont check)
what the children have gotten to- dont worry God will take care of it
Yeah right (A godly responsible parent will both pray, trust God and check on their children whereabouts and
what they are doing)
Just because someone is teaching the bible doesnt necessarily mean they are good people
I cannot stress this enough- they need to be checked out thoroughly before one takes any type
class especially a religious class.
I wonder how many people quit after taking the pfal class or midway through the class and
never turned up. Smart move -I must congratulate them.
It would be interesting to get their feedback.
My advice to those who have been seriouly hurt by VPW is- God loves you very much
he reached out to me when I cried out to Him for truth in an amazing way
Spend time with God in prayer and communing with God and let God heal your heart
GSC is a great place also online for other people who have been similarly hurt to share
how they have overcome the hurt inflicted by TWI in the past and found closure
I have been hurt tremendously and it's going away and I can forget it becaues
God has something so beautiful for all of eternity for me- and I tell myself my TWI is a spit in bucket
It's gone forever
Waxit, I was badly hurt as a child. However, I am now seeing a therapist. Perhaps counseling could help you. I know it has helped me tremendously.
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JavaJane
THIS. THIS.
This is why I could not leave the group for so long.
1. My family went into the FC when I was just over the age limit. So, my entire family left me behind. - RELATIONSHIP WEAKENED
2. Abandoned, I had nowhere else to go, so I obeyed my parents and went WOW so that I could have some kind of support around me. WOW became my family. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP REPLACED BY TWI
3. I stayed in Las Vegas with some of the WOWs on my team afterwards - where else would I go? My family was still in FC for another 2 or 3 years. FAMILY EVEN MORE WEAKENED
4. Family was made Mark and Avoid. Mosqueda called my Limb coordinator so that he could get to me before my family was able to call. FAMILY RELATIONSHIP DESTROYED, DEPEND ON TWI ONLY
5. I tried to keep connection with my family but was told by my Limb coordinator that I needed to "put God first" and that my family was "operating devil spirits, especially your mom."
6. I Marked and Avoided my family. For YEARS I had no contact with them. The only people I had around for support were from twi.
7. I decided (at the pushing of the Limb Coordinators) to go WD.
7a. Coincidentally, I finally accepted calls and a visit from my brothers, and then my parents at this time. Started rebuilding those relationships again.
8. I was treated as "special" when John Rupp called me and asked me to go on Staff as a WD - what an HONOR! (puke)
9. I went WD, met this guy who wasn't raised in the Word, who stood up against leadership when they were wrong.
10. HQ people (WC) tried to separate us. Told us "NO DATING ON THE WAY DISCIPLE FIELD." OH NO, STOP RELATIONSHIP BUILDING!
11. The night WD ended, we started dating.
12. Engaged in 3 months and stayed at HQ - both of us were afraid the other would break up if we left HQ (didn't figure this out until years later.)
13. We both finally had someone we could really talk to and trust. Started figuring out just HOW HORRIBLE HQ was - and that it wasn't just in our heads, and it wasn't us who was "out of fellowship."
14. Married at HQ the next year - probably too early in our relationship. My family came. REBUILDING FAMILY. STARTING A NEW ONE.
15. Left HQ, moved out on the field. But our eyes were opened, and we could see that it was just as messed up on the field as it was at HQ.
16. When my husband realized that he wasn't treating me well AS HIS WIFE, he turned to his leadership for help - they told him he was right to treat me that way because a man is the head of the house. TRYING TO ERODE AND ERASE THE RELATIONSHIP
17. Married for 3 years, and got pregnant. Husband had stopped attending fellowship at that point, and I was wavering. My fellowship coordinator shows up AT MY JOB and asks how I am doing. I tell him I am pregnant, and he responds "oh, is that a good thing?" FAMILY ISN'T GOOD TO THE WAY BECAUSE IT GETS IN THE WAY OF CONTROL.
18. We finally ghosted TWI and moved out of town, leaving no forwarding address. We were able to do this BECAUSE of my husband's family, who we are very close with.
19. Happily married now for 15 years. Our daughter turns 12 tomorrow. I have a better relationship with my family than I ever have. We talk weekly. TWI can suck it.
IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THEY KEPT TRYING TO DESTROY. IT WAS THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT GOT ME OUT.
MORE HARMONY IN THE HOME?? That was a LIE from hell.
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Rocky
Congratulations JJ!
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T-Bone
I think being in TWI is like being in a toxic relationship. It proved to be a one-sided relationship - something very bad and draining to my intellectual, emotional, physical, social, and financial health. It’s been some 34 years since I left the cult and have come to realize that TWI is like a parasite.... It needs the life, money and energy of followers – this is a one-sided relationship and by far outweighs whatever the cult supposedly provides its followers. A cult needs people – it depends on them for its very survival…I think cult leaders want to have a lot of power over followers to properly manage their “resources” and ensure that no talent, energy, money…whatever is wasted on anything outside the cult.
Annio, that Terror, Love and Brainwashing book by Alexandra Stein sounds interesting – I’ve put it on my wish list to check out sometime – thanks for mentioning it.
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Twinky
As a former lawyer, and occasionally I did a bit of work in matrimonial matters, I never really "got" abusive couple relationships and why one would keep returning to the abusive partner time after time. I knew the "theory" (if you like); but I didn't understand the gradual erosion of boundaries. "If he keeps hitting you like that - just leave!"
Later, processing my experiences post-Way, ah! then I "got" it. Emotionally. Whole different picture then.
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annio
Wow, JJ, well done!
I so ID with the highlighted sections above!! Pretty amazing what we can endure sometimes... So glad you have reconnected well with families, and thank you for processing/telling your amazing Life Story here!
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annio
INteresting, I agree T-bone, and Yes! Twinky.
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outandabout
Wow, what a story! Thanks for sharing that.
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JavaJane
no problem. There was a lot of details between those steps - like when I was on "spiritual probation" for a month and wasn't allowed to hang out with other believers outside of fellowship, and the point where I was really seriously contemplating suicide.
All in all, I survived and am living well. I worked through a lot of it while I was writing a novel called Blackbird Raven Crow, something I never would have allowed myself to do while in Way World. Considering how hard it was to write, it sure helped me get my head on straight so I could understand what I really thought and what was just the crazy made up world of TWI. The world it is set in is modern day Midwestern US, but crawling with demons, angels, and other supernatural creatures. The protagonist is a protector of humanity's free will who lives in the grey areas. His best friend gets caught up in a cult...
Anywho... if you want to take a look here is the link. It helped a couple people who have been involved in what we were. The journal entries are based on my own experiences in TWI.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MHB47Z3
***shameless self promotion now over, back to your regularly scheduled cult bashing***
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Twinky
Oh yeah. "Spiritual probation." Forgot about that.
(Chapter and verse, please??
)
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outandabout
Speaking of spiritual probation - my brother and his wife were put on it because their house was too dirty. He told me they didn't have time to clean it because they were always going to meetings. Anyway, they realized they were happier being away from TWI so they left for good.
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Twinky
That's funny, Outie.
Good for your bro and SiL.
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outandabout
Java Jane, just bought your book. Looks good. You got some good reviews.
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JavaJane
Thank you! It has been an adventure for sure. I wrote it with the idea of helping myself, and maybe in the process helping others. Helping people who were in groups like TWI, and also helping others outside to understand that the people who fall for cults are not stupid or ignorant. The rank and file of TWI were some of the best quality people I have ever known - but the belief system and top down control of the group ruined all of it. The world could have been enriched 1000xs over by those people's kind hearts and abilities. But we wasted them on a false cause. I am going to get those years back by living the rest of them to the fullest.
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Grace Valerie Claire
Waxit, I was badly hurt as a child. However, I am now seeing a therapist. Perhaps counseling could help you. I know it has helped me tremendously.
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