How To Start A Cult Properly

[T-Bone]

The best way to start a cult is actually to let someone else do it. Then when it all goes south operation-wise (see footnote #1), you can rise up and lead a revival and restoration to draw others to your new cult - so you don’t need to reinvent proven cult-tactics...just repackage them as “new and improved “. 

Once you’re officially the new offshoot Cult-leader remain ever vigilant and have a clear vision and goal where you want to be in five years. (See footnote 2).

Footnote #1: some cults may or may not start out in the wrong direction - that is contingent upon the degree of ineffable greatness that wells up from the dark recesses of the megalomaniac’s heart of hearts - which is now the heart of the cult - and becomes infected...make that infested - in the senses realm by many despicable acts.

Footnote #2: once you’ve started a cult by imitating the schmuck that inspired you - common sense will tell you there’s bound to be some dumb fvck like yourself, who’s eyeballing your illustrious position of power and glory. So plan ahead, if it takes four or five years to get a masters degree in secular shystership - get started immediately while you’re on the cult’s payroll.

 

Edited October 9, 2017 by T-Bone
formatting

[T-Bone]

I think it would be easier to get folks to drink the Kool-Aid if you just called it something else - something that appealed to one’s sense of ownership; something like “Yakult”. It’s the idea that the cult doesn’t own you - you own the cult! Yeah - I want to order one of those at a concession stand and hear the server say “here’s Yakult”.

yeah tell me that again “it’s your cult” ...I own it! Woo-hoo!

 

 

 

 

Edited December 12, 2017 by T-Bone
Clarity

[Twinky]

T-Bone, you crack me up!  That's hilarious!

(I love yoghurt, have never tried that brand, and don't think I ever could now - I'd snort it out laughing too much)

Edited December 12, 2017 by Twinky