Escorting: Ready For Anything, Almost Heading to Dallas this year was the hardest yet.....the boys cried as we drove away. My wife really didn't want to go, nor did I. Neither one of us wanted to admit it out loud, but we begrudgingly were headed off to twi's biggest event of the year.......and knew that we were going for all the wrong reasons. We were salaried employees working for a paycheck. And worse? It was a crappy salary and slavish labor.
Several things happened at this advanced class special that piqued my resistance and resentment towards the trustees and this whole charade. Not that there was any doubt.....the double-standard hypocrisy.
The trustees and event staff had their private, catered dining room at the hotel.....breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Escorting Mrs. Wierwille does have its perks, but the gig just isn't THAT special.....and I think anybody, who's in the know, knows that. And, to Mrs. Wierwille's credit, she generally wouldn't seek any special favors or cut to the front of the line. She showed deference to craig, howard and even her son, don to establish the public precedent that they were her "spiritual elders." On that Thursday noon meal, don was ahead of us in line and I was, at most, four feet behind mrs. wierwille because someone behind me grabbed my elbow to ask a question. Well....don wheeled around and SNAPPED at me for not being right next to his mother, as her escort. Then, glared at me to show his disdain!
Behind closed doors, things are different in twi. Always have been.....
Mrs. Wierwille was more demanding this year, than last. I knew it from the first day there.....and knew I'd be in for a long 5 days. Her health was slipping and she needed more attention. Thankfully, Coramae P. accompanied us on most days, but there was only so much a man-escort can do when ackward situations arise. Restroom situations, skirt zipper not zipped properly.......had to be ready for any mishap, any stumble. It was stressful.
This will be the last time I do this, right? I kept telling myself......
On Sunday morning, after breakfast......mrs. wierwille wanted to go to craig's and donna's room to extend sunday morning blessings and show support to rev. martindale, i.e. spiritual protocol to twi's man of god. It was near 8:45am when we arrived at their door, that was slightly ajar.....so mrs. w. knocked softly and entered. I was two steps behind her. Before Donna realized that we were entering the room, she was facing linder standing near the bedroom door. With a scowl and a gruff, she said....."just make sure he's up by nine." Then, she turned to see us. Ackwaaaarrrd. Mrs. wierwille tried to pretend that she, nor we, didn't hear the stern commotion....but it wasn't hard to surmise. Craig was still asleep.
Was he out late? Real late? Why was he still in bed asleep? The sunday service preliminary stuff started at 10am.
Looking back, now.......was he with another girl? Did donna find out something? Did donna walk in and find craig & mistress in the act?
This was the 1997 adv class special.......and I was sure it would be my last.
December 1997: The ship was taking on water, lots of water......all the corps knew it.
Money, money, money........ever since martindale's "full-time corps revelation" was implemented in August 1995 the trustees were scrambling to bail the water. Every month when I filled out those witnessing/sign-up reports.......there was 0, 1, 1, 0, 0,........dismal sign-ups for the wap-class. It was disturbing and depressing. Thankfully, my region guy wasn't hollering all that much at me......they had the same problem.
I don't remember one positive outreach/class announcement highlighted that year during a sunday service.
More than likely, we were teaching some aspect of JCOPS during this holiday season....trying to shake a shiny object in the malls....and attract others to take that shiny (bling, bling) new class.
After my utter disappointment during Thanksgiving......the Advanced Class Special, my wife and I made sure to hug on our boys extra tight during Christmas and the holiday season. I'd giving enough of my time away from our boys and I wasn't about to be sitting at my desk at 8am for about 10 days.....while the boys were out of school. I know my wife felt the same, probably more so. Holiday time is for family.
I was not going to be singing any twi-tweaked "holiday songs" either.....and I swore, if the trustees sent me a card.....it's going in the trash.
September/October 1997: The last of those wap-intermediate classes was syphoning thru our state. This one was in Lawton.....and I was the class coordinator. These outlying areas were in badly need of support......I deemed it my responsibility to go there and help out. This city/area was a strategic air force base where tc's were often military personnel and moved on rather quickly. IMO.....even corps really didn't want to run intermediate classes. You know.....practice sessions, formulate different words by using the alphabet, and all that gibberish. No wonder there are so many posts of those "sit/int threads" here at GSC.
Okay......now, everyone is processed thru phase #2, the new (bling, bling) intermediate class. The new advanced class (bling, bling) would be rolling down the pike next May 1998.......so strap it on tight and get ready. Martindale said that he's going to take this class to new heights.
The first week of October........I got my letter in the mail from hq. You guessed it. For the third year, I was "invited" to attend (work) the Dallas adv class special. I could hardly contain my excitement. /sarc
Asking for clarification. Do you mean... that Lawton was home to Ft. Sill, the Army's field artillery training hq (or at least it was when I was there in 1977)? OKC had the Tinker AFB.
Of course, both Lawton and OKC could have had significant turnover of twig coordinators due to military reassignments.
Asking for clarification. Do you mean... that Lawton was home to Ft. Sill, the Army's field artillery training hq (or at least it was when I was there in 1977)? OKC had the Tinker AFB.
Of course, both Lawton and OKC could have had significant turnover of twig coordinators due to military reassignments.
Thanks Rocky.......yeah, Ft. Sill, the army division. I will go back and change it. Duh (head slap)
Christmas and Family: In sentimental ways, I embrace the holiday season like I hug my boys. It's the most wonderful time of the year, so they sing.......because we embrace those we love. This year, 1997.......my boys were ages 12 and 10. Perfect ages for snowball fights.....er, softly tossed around snowballs, sledding.....even in Oklahoma. [And, it's not a snowball's chance in hell that there's a white Christmas once in awhile]. Anyways, I digress. Of course, I had a tinge of hurt and sadness when my thoughts turned to my parents. I hadn't been back home since 1978 Christmas.....my first year in-residence, when I brought Dave and Ruth Th0mas (9th corps too) home with me. My parents bought them presents and were excited to have these guests from the UK in their home. But now, 19 years later.....Christmas shoveled sadness towards my heart when I thought about our estranged relationship.
Hugging the boys, watching them open presents, listening to old-time Christmas songs.......that was my solace.
Now, the Question was..........How?
How........did I come to this juncture in life?
How........did I allow twi to steal the essence of Christmas?
How........can I build family traditions that the boys will treasure?
How........can I reconcile with my parents and siblings?
How........do other corps cope with this hypocrisy?
When the day was over and my wife and kids were in bed......I sat in the living room sipping merlot and gazing at the Christmas tree. All other lights were off, and I let the songs and colored lights take me back to my childhood days on the farm. Bundled in a hand-me-down coat, a stocking cap and worn gloves......I was, again, laughing and throwing snowballs at my brothers. Of course, I was on the losing side.....they were older and stronger than me.
I let those memories take me to a time and place where life was simple and innocent.
The Bribery Letter in the document file pinpoints a sampling of martindale's fury to the corps......but, I suspect, that he was SEETHING FOR MONTHS as to why his new class, that "grand undertaking and deeply personal measure of outpouring of self," was literally dead in the water.
Stop and think about that "bribery letter" and its accusations..........then...........compare it to a portion of this "Gift Policy to Rev. Martindale" below:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The spiritual "big dog" eats well.............the field corps eats the scraps on the floor.
Per the above directive, an appropriate gift would be one golf ball. Here ya go, Craig!
I just want to say to you, Skyrider, that I am enjoying your posts immensely. Your recall is astounding and writing skills superb. Thanks for sharing all this. When I see your "name" on a post, I know it's going to be good. God's blessings to you.
Thanks outandabout.......appreciate it. Like you posted on the scientology thread, the similarities between the two, scientology & twi, its striking. Looking back, and connecting all the dots........I'm still amazed why many of us stayed so long. But then, others went to other "soft-cult" splinter groups, as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connecting the Dots: Not Just Child's Play: We learned it as kids...why is it so hard for adults to connect the dots?
The "genuine suspicion" doctrine during that 1993-1995 homo purge era was still rippling...
The status levels, active / on probation / dropped.........like little "after shocks" cause concern....
The bribery letter.......when is a gift a gift? when is a bribe a bribe?
The gift policy to martindale.......the double-standard elitism, gifts for thee but none for me....
Right before our eyes.......those of us, on lifeboats distanced from the big ship (titanic), were watching the hull take on water, the power go out, the collapsing in stages, the screaming of those in varying degrees of peril.......and we were helpless. The trustees had committed a series of errors....and absolution never came.
The Dots Connect Back To Wierwille: Despite all the errors and blunders during this martindale phase (1989-98)*, the dots connect back to wierwille. To me, one of the glaring errors, among many, by wierwille was the institution of the corps as "the spiritual marine corps." Whatever that means. Wierwille set his corps on this spiritual plateau....and, unless you went thru the training program, you were never corps. This corps training bestowed upon you "spiritual elite empowerment and discernment." Without this training, you'd never rise to the level of spiritual acumen that God wanted for you. In other words, you HAD to go thru the training......the training, and diploma, was the master key that gave you access to walk throughout the house....mixing with the "master of the mansion, his children, staff hierarchy, and guests."
Corps vs Non-corps......it was that definitive in wierwille's mind and world. Either you're corps or you're not! Corps marry corps, period. But........he softened that approach (which many say was the beginning of many corps problems) and allowed corps to marry non-corps AS LONG AS that corps grad was diligent in training up his/her spouse to the standard of corps. Yeah, there were special exceptions and all.....but wierwille wanted the corps blood uncontaminated by "lesser believers." Someone could write a thesis paper on this subject alone.
During my in-residence year, the College Division was a strong element at the Emporia Campus. It was distinctively unique. Yet, there were demarcation lines that were NOT to be crossed. Corps meetings were corps meetings; no college division students were allowed. Fine......but at the lunch room, open functions, dances or just sitting on the grass....corps and college division should not be fraternizing? not enjoy being together? not "dating?" At the time, I really enjoyed being with Sonja.....our personalities, attraction to each other....just connected. But no......she was college division, and I was sternly told to not be spending my Saturday afternoons or open meetings sitting with her. Unequally-yoked, you know? It bugged me (still does!)......and, years later, I looked into the details of wierwille's life and discovered that he married a nurse when he, wierwille, was going thru seminary. Hypocrisy-look-in-the-mirror...........wierwille.
Whether it was twi's "caste system....(yeah, I know it's not a true caste system where one is destined at birth with status, station in life).....or compartmentalizing the lock box stuff, (sexual predation -- wierwille and the secret agenda society).....and then, martindale's series of purges......the picture, by connecting dots, comes into view. Wierwille was a cult leader.......and martindale was following in his footsteps.
Of course, many could say the same thing about all those splinter groups as well. In varying degrees, their "foundations, hierarchy, adulation, etc. is wierwille-esque. Each at various stages of growth and implementation, trying to erase any obvious lines to obscure the DNA lineage.
*Note: This martindale era would be properly noted as 1989-2000, but since I exited in 1998....that's my perspective and, thus, timeline.
I just want to say to you, Skyrider, that I am enjoying your posts immensely. Your recall is astounding and writing skills superb. Thanks for sharing all this. When I see your "name" on a post, I know it's going to be good. God's blessings to you.
Yup – ditto on what OutandAbout said!
TWI’s tyrannical efforts – and especially the contradictory / insane / self-serving / bull$hit ladenferocious manner of leadership (like the bribery letter compared to gifts for lcm) revealed in your posts are an ugly wonder to behold.
For some reason an historical fiction book popped into my head – I had to read it in school eons ago – The Octopus: A Story of California…which Amazon describes as: “This is a turn-of-the-century epic of California wheat farmers struggling against the rapacity of the Pacific and Southwestern Railroad, which will stop at nothing to extend its domination.”
Happy New Year Everyone: This will be my last post today, so I wanted to wish you all a Happy New 2017 Year. I plan to watch lots of football, eat snacks and later.....enjoy a couple of Jack and Cokes (maybe, three....just to defy any lingering two-drink limit data that needs deleted from waybrain). Most likely, unless someone comes along with a five million dollar publishing bonus, up front.......this series of posts will be "the book I never wrote, but should have." It does seem fitting though (as of this posting)......today marks the 100th year of victor paul wierwille's birth. A man who claimed to be on a quest to help people........left a wake of devastation.
~~~~~~~~~~
Endings -- New Beginnings: The 1997 Year was ending and......this 1998 Year would be the year that me and my family exited twi never to return. This certainly would be "new beginnings" for the rest of our lives. Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind...i.e. Auld Lang Syne......apples/oranges I suppose according to context of song vs acquaintances in a cult. Whatever. To me, there's a vast difference between the hierarchy of this cult and the people caught in its web.
I have many wonderful memories of people.....unique, loving, individuals.....who were in, or now out, of twi. Personally, I resent the labels and grouping of people....i.e. corps, corps spouse, corps alumni, advanced class grads, etc......but to effectively communicate and expose this cult, I don't see another effective method to convey its tentacles. Should I reverse the groupings? Why all the labeling of corps this, corps that.....as if they are the most important? They aren't (more important).....just more intricately connected to the levels of power and abuse.
Adios, 1997..........
~~~~~~~~~~
When I'm in a reflective mood, as I will be today.........I see individuals, special and unique. Those whom my wife and I love and have loved thru the years. Those still at hq.....in canada.....in oklahoma.....and those, here in indiana. I hold no bitterness to any of them. I wish them well. Some who've exited are dear friends from decades past and now we spend time enjoying them, their kids and grandbabies........but there are still others who are ensnared. If that's their choice to stay, then happy living. But if some are institutionalized by coercion and deception.......there is a way out. Thanks, in large part to GSC, more are re-connecting with loved ones of their past.....and stirred onward to embrace new beginnings, new relationships.
All the best.....to all of you. Happy New Year. See you in 2017.
That's the TRUTH! The fact that there were and are no boundaries... no respect for individuals... ensures that The Way International will die. It might be a painfully slow death, but it WILL die.
The fact that there's no understanding of nor respect for personal boundaries undercuts the entire system. That's at the ROOT of inability to adapt when it becomes obvious that doctrines/dogmas/teachings are flawed. It's at the ROOT of the practical issues that make the organization unsustainable from generation to generation.
Jesus cut to the chase when he responded to the Pharisees who asked him about the greatest commandment, in Matthew 22:36-40,
The years skyrider is writing about have been eyeopening for me. We got in in '80 and left in '87. Had no idea of the depth of depravity twi had sunk to. Knew it was bad, (which is why I got out) but didn't know how far reaching the manipulation and control had become.
Thank you for taking your time to help me personally.
Thank you very much for sharing these hardhitting personal life stories. Im ready to give my background in the next couple of days in the new member area
So much excellent firsthand information and insight. Thanks again for all your time and effort in the series of posts you have given us. Very interesting to me, since I was gone by 1986. I can relate to all your details and yet, I am astounded at how rotten da forehead and all the boyz in the hoods became. Thanks again!
There it was..........looming, out there in icy waters....
Little did many realize the imminent danger and peril that lurked in dark waters.......the foreboding that was coming.
~~~~~~~~~
The first few days of the new year were always difficult for us....particularly, at this stage of child-rearing. These were the fun years, ages 12 and 10, when little boys (...no offense to those with little girls).....were impressionable, full of energy, somewhat mischievous....and, if we didn't grab those moments of fun, laughter, and family traditions, it would be too late. They would soon be out the door.....and gone.
The "money iceberg" was looming, still out there....but noticeably, now within our path......
Our boys would be heading back to school and those last vestiges of the holiday season would be disappearing from view. And yet, I didn't want to let them go.....not yet, anyways. Why have kids if you don't relish the moments together? Those treasured-gifts of life that so quickly pass out of sight.....grow up.....and are gone. Children are the building blocks of future generations......hopes, strength, prosperity, security. The scriptures overflow with these truths. And yet, it seemed that I was in the throes of two emerging worlds......the one I believed in my heart, and the other was "the ministry's world".....a world that was increasingly anti-family (a world that I'd been trying to justify since my first WOW year and its mandate to "stay put".......no going home for the holidays).
Three years in a row, I'd missed spending Thanksgiving with our boys.....not to mention, being with my parents and siblings. God, I loved Thanksgiving ....it was my favorite holiday. And, now.....the Christmas season was undermined by that damn "bribery letter" AND "gift policy crap" that stole the joy of giving. My wife loved buying little gifts for those in her circle of love......but then, it heaped guilt and confusion on the believers surrounding us. They were conflicted, the advanced class grads most notably.....because they didn't want to be in the crosshairs of "bribing leaders."
What a twisted, contorted world I was clinging to. Wierwille had taught us long ago that The Way ministry was the true household of God...... your parents, siblings and relatives were your "earthly family." Oh God, how I hated that term.
The Wierwille-Doctrine Iceberg: The huge iceberg, that always existed.....that was ALWAYS out there was "the wierwille-doctrine iceberg." Not only what was above the surface, but that 90% below.......the depths, of which, will still need to be uncovered. The deep, underlying bulk of mass that supported the narcissistic buoyancy and upward force of The Way, Inc......outcropping upward in classes, magazines and programs for all, in its path, to see.
Although there were plenty of missteps and stumbles along the way, I really thought martindale and others would lead us beyond wierwille.
But for now, this was the 1998 "money iceberg" looming in our path........
January 1998: Meetings Roared Back To Life: As always, the daily and weekly schedule of meetings came roaring back to life. Twi was in the business of staying "spiritually relevant" in peoples' lives. You can't just trust people to go out there, live life, and walk for God. You have to coerce them....nudge them forward every day. And, when nudging doesn't work.....a shove, here and there, will do. Meetings involve all the complexities......that thrust the twi-bureaucracy into home fellowships, into living rooms. Meetings nudge the populace; corps meetings shoved the corps, now salaried employees.
The corps meetings, every Wednesday morning, gave martindale access to "shove us around." Several times I fumed after those meetings, thinking....."Who in the hell is in charge of this house and family, him or me?" I was dissenting.....the gap was widening. Back in '95, when this "full-time corps employee" was implemented, there were six of us at the table. A year later, in OKC we'd been scaled back to four corps in attendance......and now, there was just the two of us.....my wife and me. The dress code was still in effect....coat and tie, for these "sit at a table conference calls" and now, my dissent on this stupid dress code began. I was grappling with the spiritual abuse that came, weekly, gushing forth from martindale via these corps meetings. I started loosening my tie, more and more each week.....heck, it was pretty damn near an open collar actually. It felt good......
Teachings, Meetings: Incoming When I looked at the concept of teachings, meetings etc......I tended to put them in three categories:
The recipient: I need, or chose, to be at this teaching/meeting.....i.e. "butt in a seat"
The overseer/teacher: Following chain-of-command training or specific guidelines of twi-doctrine, sunday teachings and/or "theme related"
Beyond-the-nine-dots: Thinking and moving beyond twi's box.......teachings, weddings, funerals, lake-limb mtgs, etc.
The higher one climbed or was positioned on that "overseer plateau"......the less his/her butt was in a chair. He got to move around or stand up front.....i.e. more leeway and variety. With this responsibility came a down-side, of course....it was very challenging to keep up with the onslaught of directives, requests, classes, seminars, etc. that were incoming. While in Canada, I took flights to Vancouver and Calgary three or four times a year....maybe a couple more if I was performing a wedding or funeral. Somewhere along the line, I started viewing this responsibility of overseeing specific teachings/meetings/activities as incoming flights......like an air-traffic controller viewing radar/scanner/flight patterns and 6-7 different planes incoming, at different altitudes, sequential arrival times. I, too, at times.....had six or seven different types of meetings, teachings, seminars, or weddings incoming....at different stages, different settings and variables.
There were times when those mandated classes was sheer drudgery. Other stuff.....outside "the nine dots" was exhilarating......like limb events at the lake, weddings, advances and such. In Canada, we had the freedom to fly....unrestricted by heavy doses of oversight [.....probably, because of three reasons: 1) we didn't ask for permission to do this stuff, 2) It was a big country that required plenty of travel, and 3) In 1985-87 era....wierwille died, geer "poop" paper and ensuing exodus....kept trustees super busy, no micromanagement]. This "other stuff" (#3) was, often, what kept my motor running. Some of it was "rogue"....now that I look back on it. At the time, I just saw it as walking in love.
And, believe me.....by 1998, I understood the essence of "butt in a seat." I'd done it for years, even decades......every Tuesday, I sat and listened to that sunday teaching tape, took notes and filed them away. Then, on Wednesday morning.....listened to martindale for three hours. Add those monthly, rotating limb meetings with region guy.....add another 15 hours with "butt in a seat"......and the drive home (butt in a seat). As best I could, I had compassion for people sitting during teachings, classes or events.....because one of the hardest things about the corps training, corps week, roa, and beyond was MY butt in a seat.
Life Happens Right Before Our Eyes: Everyone knows this......except the cult.
My dad had a bout of stomach/intestinal cancer in August 1996.......he was hospitalized for a week, with follow-up chemotherapy treatments. As I recall this, I didn't phone the region guy to ask for his counsel or permission......I just packed a small bag, and hit the road the next morning at around 4:30am. I got to the hospital around 11am or so....to be with dad. One of my brothers was there. I spent the rest of the day with them, spent the night in a motel room en route to heading home.....and was back to OKC the next day before noon. I'd always loved getting behind the wheel......and seeing the open highway stretch out before me.
Whenever I thought about my dad, or mom, it was hard to disconnect the sequence of events that involved wierwille. The most traumatic experience of my life was those ten days of deprogramming captivity. [I plan to open up that episode in greater detail, later.] Wierwille was sequentially-connected in it all, because I'd sat with him and opened the door to this most personal, devastating episode I'd ever encountered. On wierwille's motor coach, back in mid-May 1981, at one point.......wierwille looked me directly eye-to-eye and said, "Your parents will be dead in five years for having done this to you." Five years?.....my parents will be dead?
When wierwille died, four years later......May 20, 1985.....I was in Vancouver, British Columbia and reflected on this "prophecy." I couldn't help but associate wierwille's death with wierwille's "prophecy" of my parents. So, I was counting down the years...to see if this prophecy would come to pass. One more year to go. I was the canada country coordinator.......and all the corps grads revered him. And, thankfully.......I was on the west coast far away....and had every excuse to not attend his funeral.
Next year, May 1986......my parents were still alive. The verse in Deuteronomy [Deut. 18:22] rushed forward and I thought.....was that "prophecy" presumptuous? Was wierwille just speaking off the cuff or a false prophet? I held those thoughts to myself.....who could I tell?
My dad passed away in August 2008....he lived 27 years after that spoken "prophecy." My mom lived 34 years (died in June 2015), after wierwille spoke those words. I had stopped counting down the years after about 10. The "prophecy" had fallen to the ground.
One more thing.......growing up in a hunting family, we had German shorthair dogs and had several litters of puppies through the years. Also, when I bought my 900 Kawasaki my junior year of high school.....my dad went and bought another 1200cc Harley Davidson. He had one when us boys were little kids and sold it......but when I bought my motorcycle, he felt justified in buying another Harley. My dad and I rode together many times. SO........here, I grew up around German shorthair dogs and Harley motorcycles......and wierwille had them, too. Thinking of my dad....... often, sequenced into wierwille.
When Chris Geer went on that long, bloviating diatribe about Dr. Wierwille.......THREE MONTHS HAD ALREADY PASSED that "expiration due date" of vpw's "prophecy" about my parents' dying.
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higherground30
Skyrider Thank you very much for sharing these hardhitting personal life stories. Im ready to give my background in the next couple of days in the new member area Oh and btw Happy new year
skyrider
The Pregnancy Policy What kind of board of directors legislates pregnancy policy to their employees? Forget diving into all the details......what gives them the right to insert when a couple s
potato
skyrider, thanks for sharing all of this. 1989 was the year TWI sucked me in, although I'd taken PFAL in 1985. I was advanced class grad twice over by mid-90s, and the later 90s were such a nightmare.
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skyrider
Escorting: Ready For Anything, Almost Heading to Dallas this year was the hardest yet.....the boys cried as we drove away. My wife really didn't want to go, nor did I. Neither one of us wanted to admit it out loud, but we begrudgingly were headed off to twi's biggest event of the year.......and knew that we were going for all the wrong reasons. We were salaried employees working for a paycheck. And worse? It was a crappy salary and slavish labor.
Several things happened at this advanced class special that piqued my resistance and resentment towards the trustees and this whole charade. Not that there was any doubt.....the double-standard hypocrisy.
Behind closed doors, things are different in twi. Always have been.....
This will be the last time I do this, right? I kept telling myself......
This was the 1997 adv class special.......and I was sure it would be my last.
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skyrider
December 1997: The ship was taking on water, lots of water......all the corps knew it.
After my utter disappointment during
Thanksgiving......the Advanced Class Special, my wife and I made sure to hug on our boys extra tight during Christmas and the holiday season. I'd giving enough of my time away from our boys and I wasn't about to be sitting at my desk at 8am for about 10 days.....while the boys were out of school. I know my wife felt the same, probably more so. Holiday time is for family.I was not going to be singing any twi-tweaked "holiday songs" either.....and I swore, if the trustees sent me a card.....it's going in the trash.
.
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Rocky
Asking for clarification. Do you mean... that Lawton was home to Ft. Sill, the Army's field artillery training hq (or at least it was when I was there in 1977)? OKC had the Tinker AFB.
Of course, both Lawton and OKC could have had significant turnover of twig coordinators due to military reassignments.
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skyrider
Thanks Rocky.......yeah, Ft. Sill, the army division. I will go back and change it. Duh (head slap)
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Rocky
No problem.
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skyrider
Christmas and Family: In sentimental ways, I embrace the holiday season like I hug my boys. It's the most wonderful time of the year, so they sing.......because we embrace those we love. This year, 1997.......my boys were ages 12 and 10. Perfect ages for snowball
fights.....er, softly tossed around snowballs, sledding.....even in Oklahoma. [And, it's not a snowball's chance in hell that there's a white Christmas once in awhile]. Anyways, I digress. Of course, I had a tinge of hurt and sadness when my thoughts turned to my parents. I hadn't been back home since 1978 Christmas.....my first year in-residence, when I brought Dave and Ruth Th0mas (9th corps too) home with me. My parents bought them presents and were excited to have these guests from the UK in their home. But now, 19 years later.....Christmas shoveled sadness towards my heart when I thought about our estranged relationship.Hugging the boys, watching them open presents, listening to old-time Christmas songs.......that was my solace.
When the day was over and my wife and kids were in bed......I sat in the living room sipping merlot and gazing at the Christmas tree. All other lights were off, and I let the songs and colored lights take me back to my childhood days on the farm. Bundled in a hand-me-down coat, a stocking cap and worn gloves......I was, again, laughing and throwing snowballs at my brothers. Of course, I was on the losing side.....they were older and stronger than me.
I let those memories take me to a time and place where life was simple and innocent.
Is Santa Claus for real?
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outandabout
Per the above directive, an appropriate gift would be one golf ball. Here ya go, Craig!
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outandabout
I just want to say to you, Skyrider, that I am enjoying your posts immensely. Your recall is astounding and writing skills superb. Thanks for sharing all this. When I see your "name" on a post, I know it's going to be good. God's blessings to you.
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skyrider
Thanks outandabout.......appreciate it. Like you posted on the scientology thread, the similarities between the two, scientology & twi, its striking. Looking back, and connecting all the dots........I'm still amazed why many of us stayed so long. But then, others went to other "soft-cult" splinter groups, as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Connecting the Dots: Not Just Child's Play: We learned it as kids...why is it so hard for adults to connect the dots?
Right before our eyes.......those of us, on lifeboats distanced from the big ship (titanic), were watching the hull take on water, the power go out, the collapsing in stages, the screaming of those in varying degrees of peril.......and we were helpless. The trustees had committed a series of errors....and absolution never came.
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skyrider
The Dots Connect Back To Wierwille: Despite all the errors and blunders during this martindale phase (1989-98)*, the dots connect back to wierwille. To me, one of the glaring errors, among many, by wierwille was the institution of the corps as "the spiritual marine corps." Whatever that means. Wierwille set his corps on this spiritual plateau....and, unless you went thru the training program, you were never corps. This corps training bestowed upon you "spiritual elite empowerment and discernment." Without this training, you'd never rise to the level of spiritual acumen that God wanted for you. In other words, you HAD to go thru the training......the training, and diploma, was the master key that gave you access to walk throughout the house....mixing with the "master of the mansion, his children, staff hierarchy, and guests."
Corps vs Non-corps......it was that definitive in wierwille's mind and world. Either you're corps or you're not! Corps marry corps, period. But........he softened that approach (which many say was the beginning of many corps problems) and allowed corps to marry non-corps AS LONG AS that corps grad was diligent in training up his/her spouse to the standard of corps. Yeah, there were special exceptions and all.....but wierwille wanted the corps blood uncontaminated by "lesser believers." Someone could write a thesis paper on this subject alone.
During my in-residence year, the College Division was a strong element at the Emporia Campus. It was distinctively unique. Yet, there were demarcation lines that were NOT to be crossed. Corps meetings were corps meetings; no college division students were allowed. Fine......but at the lunch room, open functions, dances or just sitting on the grass....corps and college division should not be fraternizing? not enjoy being together? not "dating?" At the time, I really enjoyed being with Sonja.....our personalities, attraction to each other....just connected. But no......she was college division, and I was sternly told to not be spending my Saturday afternoons or open meetings sitting with her. Unequally-yoked, you know? It bugged me (still does!)......and, years later, I looked into the details of wierwille's life and discovered that he married a nurse when he, wierwille, was going thru seminary. Hypocrisy-look-in-the-mirror...........wierwille.
Whether it was twi's "caste system....(yeah, I know it's not a true caste system where one is destined at birth with status, station in life).....or compartmentalizing the lock box stuff, (sexual predation -- wierwille and the secret agenda society).....and then, martindale's series of purges......the picture, by connecting dots, comes into view. Wierwille was a cult leader.......and martindale was following in his footsteps.
Of course, many could say the same thing about all those splinter groups as well. In varying degrees, their "foundations, hierarchy, adulation, etc. is wierwille-esque. Each at various stages of growth and implementation, trying to erase any obvious lines to obscure the DNA lineage.
*Note: This martindale era would be properly noted as 1989-2000, but since I exited in 1998....that's my perspective and, thus, timeline.
.
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T-Bone
Yup – ditto on what OutandAbout said!
TWI’s tyrannical efforts – and especially the contradictory / insane / self-serving / bull$hit laden ferocious manner of leadership (like the bribery letter compared to gifts for lcm) revealed in your posts are an ugly wonder to behold.
For some reason an historical fiction book popped into my head – I had to read it in school eons ago – The Octopus: A Story of California…which Amazon describes as: “This is a turn-of-the-century epic of California wheat farmers struggling against the rapacity of the Pacific and Southwestern Railroad, which will stop at nothing to extend its domination.”
The Octopus book on Amazon
Anyway – keep it up Skyrider – this is great stuff !!!
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skyrider
Happy New Year Everyone: This will be my last post today, so I wanted to wish you all a Happy New 2017 Year. I plan to watch lots of football, eat snacks and later.....enjoy a couple of Jack and Cokes (maybe, three....just to defy any lingering two-drink limit data that needs deleted from waybrain). Most likely, unless someone comes along with a five million dollar publishing bonus, up front.......this series of posts will be "the book I never wrote, but should have." It does seem fitting though (as of this posting)......today marks the 100th year of victor paul wierwille's birth. A man who claimed to be on a quest to help people........left a wake of devastation.
~~~~~~~~~~
Endings -- New Beginnings: The 1997 Year was ending and......this 1998 Year would be the year that me and my family exited twi never to return. This certainly would be "new beginnings" for the rest of our lives. Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind...i.e. Auld Lang Syne......apples/oranges I suppose according to context of song vs acquaintances in a cult. Whatever. To me, there's a vast difference between the hierarchy of this cult and the people caught in its web.
I have many wonderful memories of people.....unique, loving, individuals.....who were in, or now out, of twi. Personally, I resent the labels and grouping of people....i.e. corps, corps spouse, corps alumni, advanced class grads, etc......but to effectively communicate and expose this cult, I don't see another effective method to convey its tentacles. Should I reverse the groupings? Why all the labeling of corps this, corps that.....as if they are the most important? They aren't (more important).....just more intricately connected to the levels of power and abuse.
Adios, 1997..........
~~~~~~~~~~
When I'm in a reflective mood, as I will be today.........I see individuals, special and unique. Those whom my wife and I love and have loved thru the years. Those still at hq.....in canada.....in oklahoma.....and those, here in indiana. I hold no bitterness to any of them. I wish them well. Some who've exited are dear friends from decades past and now we spend time enjoying them, their kids and grandbabies........but there are still others who are ensnared. If that's their choice to stay, then happy living. But if some are institutionalized by coercion and deception.......there is a way out. Thanks, in large part to GSC, more are re-connecting with loved ones of their past.....and stirred onward to embrace new beginnings, new relationships.
All the best.....to all of you. Happy New Year. See you in 2017.
Football, snacks and drinks......woohoo.
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JayDee
The years skyrider is writing about have been eyeopening for me. We got in in '80 and left in '87. Had no idea of the depth of depravity twi had sunk to. Knew it was bad, (which is why I got out) but didn't know how far reaching the manipulation and control had become.
Thank you for taking your time to help me personally.
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chockfull
Thanks for the stories skyrider.
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higherground30
Skyrider
Thank you very much for sharing these hardhitting personal life stories. Im ready to give my background in the next couple of days in the new member area
Oh and btw Happy new year 2017 to all GSC posters
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DontWorryBeHappy
Thanks Skyrider!!
So much excellent firsthand information and insight. Thanks again for all your time and effort in the series of posts you have given us. Very interesting to me, since I was gone by 1986. I can relate to all your details and yet, I am astounded at how rotten da forehead and all the boyz in the hoods became. Thanks again!
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skyrider
Part IV
1998: The Money Iceberg
There it was..........looming, out there in icy waters....
Little did many realize the imminent danger and peril that lurked in dark waters.......the foreboding that was coming.
~~~~~~~~~
The first few days of the new year were always difficult for us....particularly, at this stage of child-rearing. These were the fun years, ages 12 and 10, when little boys (...no offense to those with little girls).....were impressionable, full of energy, somewhat mischievous....and, if we didn't grab those moments of fun, laughter, and family traditions, it would be too late. They would soon be out the door.....and gone.
The "money iceberg" was looming, still out there....but noticeably, now within our path......
Our boys would be heading back to school and those last vestiges of the holiday season would be disappearing from view. And yet, I didn't want to let them go.....not yet, anyways. Why have kids if you don't relish the moments together? Those treasured-gifts of life that so quickly pass out of sight.....grow up.....and are gone. Children are the building blocks of future generations......hopes, strength, prosperity, security. The scriptures overflow with these truths. And yet, it seemed that I was in the throes of two emerging worlds......the one I believed in my heart, and the other was "the ministry's world".....a world that was increasingly anti-family (a world that I'd been trying to justify since my first WOW year and its mandate to "stay put".......no going home for the holidays).
Three years in a row, I'd missed spending Thanksgiving with our boys.....not to mention, being with my parents and siblings. God, I loved Thanksgiving ....it was my favorite holiday. And, now.....the Christmas season was undermined by that damn "bribery letter" AND "gift policy crap" that stole the joy of giving. My wife loved buying little gifts for those in her circle of love......but then, it heaped guilt and confusion on the believers surrounding us. They were conflicted, the advanced class grads most notably.....because they didn't want to be in the crosshairs of "bribing leaders."
What a twisted, contorted world I was clinging to. Wierwille had taught us long ago that The Way ministry was the true household of God...... your parents, siblings and relatives were your "earthly family." Oh God, how I hated that term.
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skyrider
The Wierwille-Doctrine Iceberg: The huge iceberg, that always existed.....that was ALWAYS out there was "the wierwille-doctrine iceberg." Not only what was above the surface, but that 90% below.......the depths, of which, will still need to be uncovered. The deep, underlying bulk of mass that supported the narcissistic buoyancy and upward force of The Way, Inc......outcropping upward in classes, magazines and programs for all, in its path, to see.
Although there were plenty of missteps and stumbles along the way, I really thought martindale and others would lead us beyond wierwille.
But for now, this was the 1998 "money iceberg" looming in our path........
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skyrider
January 1998: Meetings Roared Back To Life: As always, the daily and weekly schedule of meetings came roaring back to life. Twi was in the business of staying "spiritually relevant" in peoples' lives. You can't just trust people to go out there, live life, and walk for God. You have to coerce them....nudge them forward every day. And, when nudging doesn't work.....a shove, here and there, will do. Meetings involve all the complexities......that thrust the twi-bureaucracy into home fellowships, into living rooms. Meetings nudge the populace; corps meetings shoved the corps, now salaried employees.
The corps meetings, every Wednesday morning, gave martindale access to "shove us around." Several times I fumed after those meetings, thinking....."Who in the hell is in charge of this house and family, him or me?" I was dissenting.....the gap was widening. Back in '95, when this "full-time corps employee" was implemented, there were six of us at the table. A year later, in OKC we'd been scaled back to four corps in attendance......and now, there was just the two of us.....my wife and me. The dress code was still in effect....coat and tie, for these "sit at a table conference calls" and now, my dissent on this stupid dress code began. I was grappling with the spiritual abuse that came, weekly, gushing forth from martindale via these corps meetings. I started loosening my tie, more and more each week.....heck, it was pretty damn near an open collar actually. It felt good......
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skyrider
Teachings, Meetings: Incoming When I looked at the concept of teachings, meetings etc......I tended to put them in three categories:
The higher one climbed or was positioned on that "overseer plateau"......the less his/her butt was in a chair. He got to move around or stand up front.....i.e. more leeway and variety. With this responsibility came a down-side, of course....it was very challenging to keep up with the onslaught of directives, requests, classes, seminars, etc. that were incoming. While in Canada, I took flights to Vancouver and Calgary three or four times a year....maybe a couple more if I was performing a wedding or funeral. Somewhere along the line, I started viewing this responsibility of overseeing specific teachings/meetings/activities as incoming flights......like an air-traffic controller viewing radar/scanner/flight patterns and 6-7 different planes incoming, at different altitudes, sequential arrival times. I, too, at times.....had six or seven different types of meetings, teachings, seminars, or weddings incoming....at different stages, different settings and variables.
There were times when those mandated classes was sheer drudgery. Other stuff.....outside "the nine dots" was exhilarating......like limb events at the lake, weddings, advances and such. In Canada, we had the freedom to fly....unrestricted by heavy doses of oversight [.....probably, because of three reasons: 1) we didn't ask for permission to do this stuff, 2) It was a big country that required plenty of travel, and 3) In 1985-87 era....wierwille died, geer "poop" paper and ensuing exodus....kept trustees super busy, no micromanagement]. This "other stuff" (#3) was, often, what kept my motor running. Some of it was "rogue"....now that I look back on it. At the time, I just saw it as walking in love.
And, believe me.....by 1998, I understood the essence of "butt in a seat." I'd done it for years, even decades......every Tuesday, I sat and listened to that sunday teaching tape, took notes and filed them away. Then, on Wednesday morning.....listened to martindale for three hours. Add those monthly, rotating limb meetings with region guy.....add another 15 hours with "butt in a seat"......and the drive home (butt in a seat). As best I could, I had compassion for people sitting during teachings, classes or events.....because one of the hardest things about the corps training, corps week, roa, and beyond was MY butt in a seat.
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skyrider
Meetings: Ugh Just reading thru that last post regarding meetings gives me a headache. Moving on.....
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skyrider
Life Happens Right Before Our Eyes: Everyone knows this......except the cult.
Whenever I thought about my dad, or mom, it was hard to disconnect the sequence of events that involved wierwille. The most traumatic experience of my life was those ten days of deprogramming captivity. [I plan to open up that episode in greater detail, later.] Wierwille was sequentially-connected in it all, because I'd sat with him and opened the door to this most personal, devastating episode I'd ever encountered. On wierwille's motor coach, back in mid-May 1981, at one point.......wierwille looked me directly eye-to-eye and said, "Your parents will be dead in five years for having done this to you." Five years?.....my parents will be dead?
When wierwille died, four years later......May 20, 1985.....I was in Vancouver, British Columbia and reflected on this "prophecy." I couldn't help but associate wierwille's death with wierwille's "prophecy" of my parents. So, I was counting down the years...to see if this prophecy would come to pass. One more year to go. I was the canada country coordinator.......and all the corps grads revered him. And, thankfully.......I was on the west coast far away....and had every excuse to not attend his funeral.
Next year, May 1986......my parents were still alive. The verse in Deuteronomy [Deut. 18:22] rushed forward and I thought.....was that "prophecy" presumptuous? Was wierwille just speaking off the cuff or a false prophet? I held those thoughts to myself.....who could I tell?
My dad passed away in August 2008....he lived 27 years after that spoken "prophecy." My mom lived 34 years (died in June 2015), after wierwille spoke those words. I had stopped counting down the years after about 10. The "prophecy" had fallen to the ground.
One more thing.......growing up in a hunting family, we had German shorthair dogs and had several litters of puppies through the years. Also, when I bought my 900 Kawasaki my junior year of high school.....my dad went and bought another 1200cc Harley Davidson. He had one when us boys were little kids and sold it......but when I bought my motorcycle, he felt justified in buying another Harley. My dad and I rode together many times. SO........here, I grew up around German shorthair dogs and Harley motorcycles......and wierwille had them, too. Thinking of my dad....... often, sequenced into wierwille.
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skyrider
Edit: Sorry. One sentence was out of sequence. Had to edit it. So, if you saw it.....you might want to read it again.
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skyrider
1986 Corps Week: Geer Reads Paper
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