The Bribery Letter in the document file pinpoints a sampling of martindale's fury to the corps......but, I suspect, that he was SEETHING FOR MONTHS as to why his new class, that "grand undertaking and deeply personal measure of outpouring of self," was literally dead in the water.
Stop and think about that "bribery letter" and its accusations..........then...........compare it to a portion of this "Gift Policy to Rev. Martindale" below:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The spiritual "big dog" eats well.............the field corps eats the scraps on the floor.
1997 Year: Several of the broad strokes, listed above, give you the trajectory of this year.....and how it escalated. I tend to like an overview of things, like stepping back and looking at something from a wide range.......then fill in details.
Note: The "Vision and Direction" policies came in September 1997 ........TWO YEARS after corps went on payroll.
A friendly suggestion: Rocky.....please delete/edit that stupid policy letter from your post. I can't stand to see it twice in succession. LOL
And......no, I will not be delving into any of that eve/lesbian issue. I actually detest even noting it.....but it adds significance to wap and timeline.
No More Twi-Policy Additions: I will NOT be adding any more long-form "twi-policy positions" to this thread......links (maybe), but no more full-length documented forms and dissecting their component parts. All of that is just "too much in the weeds" and puts ugly policies in the spotlight.
My purpose is to expose the personal, destructive nature of the beast......and spear it to death.
And......no, I will not be delving into any of that eve/lesbian issue. I actually detest even noting it.....but it adds significance to wap and timeline.
Tahu Vu Bahu (sp?) "Without form and void" <---- why talk so much about this and never give any good advice that is constructive?
It amazes me he spent so much time seeking ways to shock minds. It amazes me more that followers seemingly craved new nonsense. How could a group constantly think evil and not see the results of their own behavior year after year, decade after decade? (that's meant rhetorically)
And......no, I will not be delving into any of that eve/lesbian issue. I actually detest even noting it.....but it adds significance to wap and timeline.
Btw, I've not given much thought to the original sin teaching... but who was Eve supposedly having a lesbian relationship with? A granddaughter?
Long story short the devil. Satan, transforming himself into a female serpent for the sole purpose of luring eve into a homosexual relationship. This was the original sin. As proof, Michaelangelo painted this picture with Eve, the fruit and the serpent and the serpent looks female. He must of had rebbelashun.
Either that or it was the female goddess Hermaphrodites. Yeah. One of the two.
The Social Element: The fabric of twi was/is interwoven by many threads.....social, psychological, ethical, financial, spiritual and more. Certainly, I am no expert on the social/psychological forces that motivate individuals to do what they do.....but, I think it's safe to say that "the social element" was a major portion of twi's "tapestry." Yeah, I know......people claimed that it was "the doctrine, the scriptures, the word" that drew them in, kept their zeal and why they didn't/don't leave.....but is that for real? From my experiences, I believe that the SOCIAL was "the red thread" that was interwoven, and pronounced, the most throughout the organization.
The longer one stayed.......the more inter-connected the threads of relationships. And memories. People have a tendency to overlook lots of stuff.......as long as there is social value to that involvement. Whether its a club, association, church, fitness gym.......or GASP, twi.
Whether doctrine or behavior.....who wants to mount a confrontation? Will it help? Will it backfire? Can you prove it? What if you're wrong in what you thought you saw? Will you be publically slandered like many other corps? The psychology elements are in direct correlation with the social elements in relationships and society, no?
In other words........people stayed because they were interconnected to others. Whether it was friends, family members, husband/wife, children, co-workers, employer/employee, boyfriend/girlfriend, dating someone ("date&switch")......or 30 other types of relationships. Some stayed even though they wanted to exit BECAUSE they didn't want to "disconnect" from a loved one [scientology documentary just exposed this trauma in great detail]. Some stay because of fear.....fear of change, divorce, loss of job, start over, etc. etc. or the unknown.
The GSC is a goldmine for reasons why people stayed or exited. Hundreds of threads tell the story.
It wasn't just teachings of THE BIBLE.......or PFAL. ppffffftt
The Book I Will Never Write:My goal is to finish this thread with personal experiences and insights of this martindale era. For years on GSC, I've "talked about a book I should write"........well, this is it. Hopefully, I've still got some material that will be of interest to many......and, if Pawtucket keeps the doors open here, who knows how many will come to read this timeline.
Charlene did such a masterful job of writing Undertow......it covers all the pertinent deception and underbelly of cult control in the way international. Lots of depth and exposure to the "biblical research" elements.
I plan to finish posting this timeline, because I said I would..........or die trying.
Double Standards, Double Speak: The bribery letter combined with the "gift policies to martindale" was both flagrant and flaunting.....nakedly parading for all the corps to see. Here, martindale was the recipient of hundreds of gifts (or thousands?) and he throws out accusations of bribery spirits? (or was it lust spirits?) OMG,.....the whole place stank of double-standards and double-speak. The confusion rippled down thru the branches for months to come. It got so anal that corps could NOT accept tomatoes from a believer's garden.....but they COULD ACCEPT tomatoes from a distant relative or non-believing neighbor down the street. Why?.....you ask. Because that non-believing neighbor down the street is not trying to bribe you with tomatoes to receive favoritism (ie..withholding of spiritual confrontation/judgment). But the believer in your twi is???....(trying to bribe you).
Another step towards.......no patronizing with those you lead.
This whole bribery "doctrine" or purge.....was insanity on steroids. Martindale could sit in his ivory corps chalet where gifts were heaped at his doorstep......but field corps couldn't accept an old computer by someone in the branch who was upgrading to a better computer/monitor. It caused confusion in the food/refreshment area too. Could you or could you NOT receive fresh muffins baked by someone in your fellowship?
The Paper Blizzard: At the limb, the fax machine was vomiting onto the floor at 2 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, hq didn't give one whit of concern for my needs, my sleep.....greene, fort, rupp, staley, numbnuts.......were dead to me. Lost all kinds of respect for those guys. The paper blizzard stormed thru the limbs for nearly 18 months --- from Jan '97-July '98.
All those reports, policies, procedures, updates, .....and then, the reporting back. I get a headache just thinking about it.
I remember a Sunday twig coordinator meeting that left me in a total mental stupor - so many things covered, so much to do, so much to stay on top of. It was too much.
Four Funerals, Four Months: Not sure why funerals seem to come in spurts, but they did......for me anyways. Quite often, these funerals were a parent or relative of the believers who didn't have a home church or pastor. So, what's a twi-clergyman to do? Turn them down? Tell them you only do funerals for household believers? I had no idea what my region guy would have said......I never asked. If I can't walk in love and help others, then fire me and find some other guy.........I have one standard: love thy neighbor as thyself. And, funerals take a lot of love.
I never minded doing funerals or weddings....like some in twi. To me, it was an open door to be intimately involved in peoples' lives. It grounded me in reality.....and kept, intact, my sanity from bizarre, blundering buffoons in Ohio. Yeah, that was my attitude.......and still is.
For years, even before things got real crazy......I said that I never should have gone in the corps. And, by extension......I know that I didn't abide by the wierwille/martindale frame of clergy. But the clergymen I chose to model were Rev. Ross Tra-cy, Rev. Lonne1l J0hnson, and Rev. A.J. Berr3ta. And, they'd all left twi years before.
WAP -- Intermediate Class: All the corps needed the upgrade version......then, all the others. Same process, same rodeo.
Throughout my twi tenure, I always thought that the intermediate class was an anomaly. Twi leadership made such a big deal about the foundational class AND the advanced class.....but the intermediate class was "no man's land." You left some place.....on your way to somewhere else, but no one cared about the transition, or journey (the intermediate class)...only the destination (adv class). Who ever wore their intermediate class nametag to the roa? Wasn't even a nametag, was there?
So.....that which was, was again. No one really cared about this class. It was just to notch the belt.....and move on.
Peggy's Funeral Was Personal: I had gone for my morning run, leaving the house at 5:40am. It was still dark, but the air was mild and the city streets were relatively quiet....and I hadn't even broken a sweat when a car flashed its lights and pulled up beside me. My wife had been out driving the neighborhood looking for me. Tim, Peggy's husband, had phoned and said Peggy had sudden cardiac arrest and an emergency response team was headed to their home. Quickly, we drove to their place.... about 14 blocks away.
The response team was there in the bedroom.....trying to revive her. She had stopped breathing minutes ago......before we arrived. No response. I closed my eyes and prayed to God......a few more minutes passed and the realization of her passing had set in. Peggy was gone; she'd taken her last breath. I had never been in the room when someone took their last breath, nor did it happen here.....just minutes too late. This one's going to sting; Rod and Jo loved her dearly. This death required a phone call to the region guy......and would reach rev. martindale within two hours.
Craig made the announcement at the hq-noon meal......and went on a lengthy spiel about exercise and good cardiovascular health, or something like that. He also made mention of it at our next corps meeting. So, yeah.....it was deeply personal for me. Peggy's sole reason for coming to Oklahoma was to fulfill a need......namely, be the twig coordinator in Stillwater, Oklahoma for rod and jo and a few others. She'd been in Wisconsin....and her leadership felt this would be a good fit for her growing desire to serve. She accepted. I helped her transition into the t.c. position.....later, performed her wedding.....and now, her funeral.
And, to put in context.....what I'd posted earlier: ....................When Peggy died, her brother in Florida was on probationary status in lieu of twi-mandates. Bob Moneyhands phoned me to let me know, in his stern opinion, that this guy should NOT be allowed at the funeral or around the believers. This brother would be calling me within the hour, he said. And.....he did. We talked for about 5 minutes and I told him.....absolutely, he should come and attend his sister's funeral and call me when he arrived in OKC.
The days passed quickly as we scurried around with all the details of the funeral.
Four days later, and this brother called me. He had arrived in town. We made every effort to ease his depth of hurt and sorrow. After the funeral, I invited him to the limb home to join several of us at supper, snacks, a movie and/or just hang out. He nearly cried when I offered this invitation. Nothing was really planned.....just kickin' back and living life was on the evening's agenda. Keeping. It. Simple. And. Loving. -------before leaving that evening, this brother gave me a big bear hug. He left OKC a changed man.
Lost all respect for Bob Moneyhands after that phone call.
Why......didn't you just leave the corps program and walk?
Why......didn't you confront wierwille/martindale on this?
One of the reasons for telling my story is........because I think it's a compelling story. In the process of living life, I unearthed me.....the things deep down, the things I value, what I stand for, and what I will not stand for, why I refuse to quit when things get rough, the inner core of what I want my kids to know about me......yeah, who I really am. Do other people search deep into their hearts in earnest? I don't know. Perhaps, it was all that open space and thought time while driving tractors on the farm. I could probably trace its roots all the way back to my childhood.....when I pondered at the stars in the night sky. But really......its when I went off to college that I took those first steps of my journey.
Should I regret my involvement in twi? To a small degree, yes.......but mainly, no. Why "the small degree, yes?"........because I regret the estrangement that was built between me and my parents via lack of communication, sudden changes, foolish spontaneity, and weird behavior (zeal in an obscure cult). How could they possibly understand my dropping out of college, going wow ambassador two years, back to back? They were perplexed and frightened.....and I seemed to be "behind a wall" to them. Years later, when I was months away from corps graduation.......they really thought they'd lose me forever (ex-communicated like scientology people), so my parents paid something in the neighborhood of $16,000 to get me deprogrammed from this cult. They were ready and willing to do it for my fiancé as well. They were right from the get-go...about twi. A parents' love looks different when you're a young adult.....as opposed to when, decades later, you look back. Suffice it to say, after this 10-day episode and I went back to twi.....my parents were deeply broken. And, even though I regained a small measure of that relationship back ten years before my father's death......the wounds were scarred in sorrow.
This deprogramming episode was/is on both sides of my measuring "regret."
As for "mainly, no?"........sure, I despise the corps indoctrination and exploitation et al, but I can't, deep within my heart, regret going into the corps, and on staff at hq......because, only on this path would I have continued to grow in love with this beautiful woman whom I, later, married. We were separated from one another during my final in-residence year and writing letters back and forth, love-planning for our lives together. But an unforeseen detour awaited us......don't they always? During my corps block at Camp Gunnison, my parents came to visit unannounced on a Friday afternoon in late April. Tom J., the corps coordinator, told me I couldn't leave grounds, but rather could go out to breakfast with them in town the next morning. So, my parents left and got a motel room in Gunnison.
In the morning, my parents picked me up at camp gunnison, at the gate, and we went to breakfast. Deceptively, they'd schemed a plan involving stopping back at their motel room before buying me some new clothes. Little did I realize the four men, thugs, who rushed thru the motel door and body-slammed me on the bed.....then, bound my hands, duct-tapped my legs together and gagged me before carrying me to a cargo van headed to Kansas. Gone without a trace. My fiancé worried and wondered. Twi sent out "enforcers" to my hometown to find me and bring me back...with no success. Ten days of deprogramming tactics.....[weeks later, I typed 36-pages detailing the account]. After the deprogramming, and slipping out the side door of that half-way house......I was flown to the Dayton airport, greeted by my fiancé and twi's security unit en route back to hq. After corps graduation, we were married in the brc and worked on staff. We have two wonderful sons. Thankfully, we exited before the gaunlet of classes and indoctrination. that awaited them. I could brag about them both.....their achievements and success. Isn't this the kind of drama, struggle, obstacles, pain, love and redemption that movie-goers go to see? To go "back in time" and change my twi-involvement, would change everything in my life.
Why did I stay so long? Because.......I was waiting for the confluence of multiple variables to flow together. I was waiting for the right moment where all of us, together, could jump and roll.....and walk away uninjured. The right spot, the right conditions.....helping others, too, if we could.....before jumping.
I remember someone once said....."It's not what we do in life that we regret...it's what we don't do."
One of the reasons for telling my story is........because I think it's a compelling story. In the process of living life, I unearthed me.....the things deep down, the things I value, what I stand for, and what I will not stand for, why I refuse to quit when things get rough, the inner core of what I want my kids to know about me......yeah, who I really am. Do other people search deep into their hearts in earnest? I don't know. Perhaps, it was all that open space and thought time while driving tractors on the farm. I could probably trace its roots all the way back to my childhood.....when I pondered at the stars in the night sky. But really......its when I went off to college that I took those first steps of my journey.
Should I regret my involvement in twi? To a small degree, yes.......but mainly, no. Why "the small degree, yes?"........because I regret the estrangement that was built between me and my parents via lack of communication, sudden changes, foolish spontaneity, and weird behavior (zeal in an obscure cult). ~snip~
And, even though I regained a small measure of that relationship back ten years before my father's death......the wounds were scarred in sorrow. ~snip~
After the deprogramming, and slipping out the side door of that half-way house......I was flown to the Dayton airport, greeted by my fiancé and twi's security unit en route back to hq. After corps graduation, we were married in the brc and worked on staff. We have two wonderful sons. Thankfully, we exited before the gaunlet of classes and indoctrination. that awaited them. I could brag about them both.....their achievements and success. Isn't this the kind of drama, struggle, obstacles, pain, love and redemption that movie-goers go to see? To go "back in time" and change my twi-involvement, would change everything in my life.
Your story IS compelling.
Many people DO reflect and examine their lives... those who do (I figure) often find it very rewarding.
Stephen King's magnum opus, the novel and mini-series 11-22-63 is ALL about the notion of going back in time to change events. I LOVED the novel (all 800+ pages of it). The mini-series was wonderful too but in different ways. The bottom line is that the book was absolutely an object lesson for me in how changing course would change everything.
By all means, keep sharing. Including excerpts of your 36-page deprogramming record if you're willing.
I agree with Rocky. Keep sharing, Skyrider. Take it from me, telling one's personal story is revealing, not only to readers, but to the writer. So write on! Tell us more about the experience whenever you feel so inclined.
Flashback: Sitting with Wierwille: On May 5, 1981 when I arrived back at hq, the corps coordinators didn't know what to do with me. I had been gone from the in-residence program for ten days, had missed my slotted time to go LEAD, was behind in writing the first draft of my research paper........and there were questions that needed answering: was I still committed to twi, or now "an undercover spy" working for the other side? I sensed that corps leadership was suspicious and held some contempt over me. I was in limbo......until thoroughly interrogated. Martindale and F!nnegan summoned me to meet with them in the OSC bookstore break room. Questions.....what happened? what tactics did they use? who were they? how did you escape? you must have been "out of fellowship" to not see this coming?
Going to the OSC dining room for lunch, I felt like a spectacle. Yes, many staffers greeted me....while others kept their distance. Perhaps, I was somewhat gaunt in appearance.....having gone those first six days of deprogramming without eating [my adamant refusal to eat kept my defiant attitude on edge]. Thankfully, no fanfare or announcements were made at the head table to spotlight my presence. I was going introvert. My fiancé had her channels of networking........and, however it happened, by 3pm I was packing my bags headed to the "airport house," to don and wanda's home. It seemed like a combination of reprieve, probationary and seclusion. I welcomed it.
My mind was racing, over and over.....into the night. I was totally exhausted, but could not fall asleep. I'd been living on four hours of sleep for over 10 days.....waking up thru the night, every night. My fiancé stopped by to be with me. None of this had been easy for her, either. I was restless, agitated, disturbed from that morning meeting with craig and vince.......hell, now even my corps coordinators are suspicious of me. My fiancé told wanda that I just couldn't shut my mind down and fall asleep. Wanda had the remedy.....a nice glass of amaretto. That did the trick. I went into a deep sleep, finally.
Those four days at the "airport house".....my mind was alive with details of the deprogramming. I'd catalogued each day, periods throughout the day, sequencing events one after another by association. I never could adapt to that memory-peg system taught to the corps. So.....while in seclusion, I sat at wanda's typewriter and typed 10-12 hours a day.....until I felt it was complete. These typed pages were sent to dr. wierwille......and he summoned me for three afternoons on his motor coach to include this in his series "By The Way" articles that were published in the St. Mary's Evening Leader.
So........sitting with wierwille on the second afternoon, I told him, "Craig and Vince want me to go LEAD as soon as possible." And, wierwille, took a long drag on his cigarette and said, "Son, you already HAD your LEAD experience." I never heard another word about going LEAD.......I never went. Wierwille was standing in my corner and no one was going to fight that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's why years ago.........I mocked the LEAD program in one of my GSC threads. You don't have to climb rocks to be challenged.
Back to the Future.......1997 Timeline: Need to insert some items that slipped by......
Don Wierwille stepped down and Rosalie Fox Rivenbark was installed as vice-president
Martindale instructed all region guys to get out there and "eye-ball the limb coordinators in your region." The region guys did these itinerary swings each month..... until this constant traveling disrupted their own state and comfort. Then, at least in the Midwest region.....monthly meetings (eye-balls on the limb guys) rotated and hosted in the states of Texas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas. The other two states in the mix were Kansas and Louisiana/Mississippi......but weren't in the rotation. These meetings included the wives, too (mandatory). When the drastic expense-cutting measures kicked in in 1998.....these meetings went to every other month.
Again......no more rock of ages. Martindale instructed each limb to do an out-door limb meeting. No problem.
September 1997: Peggy' death stung me deeply. I wrestled with this somber mood for weeks.....and no, I wasn't going to call my region leadership, the la1lys, to tell me to "renew my mind." I still resented bob moneyhand's intrusive counsel into how to handle Peggy's brother....and if that's the direction of this ministry, then count me out. I needed to be alone. I wanted to be alone. I thought about that verse where the apostles disengaged and said......"we go fishing." I went to a movie.....by myself.
Titanic was playing in movie theaters across the nation with huge reviews. Sounded good.....bought the ticket, bought the popcorn, sat down. Little did I realize that powerful, emotional impact this movie would have on deep-seated, moving, questions:
The fluke of winning access onto the Titanic thru a poker game (life is a series of luck and good fortune)
In re-telling the story of Titanic.....elderly Rose (Kate Winslet) said she "could still smell the fresh paint"
Upper class passengers and those below; steerage
The bourbon and cigar meetings after meals / The rowdy partying and drinking below deck
Jack lived a day-by-day drifting life / Rose was destined to live in a social order of dinner and tea parties
The haughtiness of traveling at break-speed.....to get the headlines upon arrival in New York
The strategic negligence to not have enough lifeboats for all passengers aboard
Hitting the iceberg......and still refusing that the ship would NOT go down
The song "My heart goes on"........Rose cherished those memories; Jack saved her from a life of conformity
Rose throws "The Heart of the Sea" back into the water......only she would hold that secret
I left the movie theater in deep ponder. I, too, could "still smell the fresh paint" of so many memories.
Exploring Creative Ideas: Thinking and doing the same things over and over again was insane. The monotony was killing me. The sizzle of anything exciting about twi had LONG disappeared. When I worked at hq.....I was always trying to live outside of my "nine dots" patterns. I worked on the wedding committee.....where six of us were tasked as wedding planners and facilitators, mediators between hq-clergy and couples prepping for their wedding day. From such locations like the Fine Arts and Historical Center in Sidney, OH, the BRC, or the campfire area in the way woods.....we made it happen.
More storage space was needed for accounting/finances/legal departments......and the architects were in the planning/design stages of using the west end of the warehouse. They'd been studying those sliding-track systems to maximize storage and facilitate access to file cabinets behind file cabinets. The concrete floor needed to be torn up and steel tracks set in place to slide large cabinets back and forth. Anyways, I got wind of it and thought it was nuts! I went to my area coordinator, A.J....and told him how this would compromise that whole section from further use during special events. Many people just had no idea how vastly diversified that warehouse was used throughout the year. A multi-purpose warehouse....for a multi-purpose cult. So, I quickly studied up on mezzanine usage and sent my proposal to A.J. B3rreta and Howard Allen. The mezzanine would be installed over the shipping/receiving area and other offices....the high ceilings were empty space anyways. Next day, Howard sent back a short note to me thru interoffice mail......"Best idea I've seen on this."
Later, I assisted Bob W1negarner and, by extension somewhat, Rosalie with all that High Country Caravan series. Yeah, a glorified "go-fer" I suppose...... but it added to something new, something outside my "warehousing department circle of thought and exposure." Running errands, watching rehearsals, stage cues, scene changes, ushering protocols......things to observe and explore. When Sound Out '84 came of age, I got to travel on the staff coach.....Bob & Rosalie did all the stage/emcee stuff and I was the designate "house manager at the grand ole opry" overseeing vip-seating, running errands front and back stage, anything to help assist Bob W.
More memories are flooding my brain cells. Damn, maybe I shouldn't have opened the door to my repressed memory.
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higherground30
Skyrider Thank you very much for sharing these hardhitting personal life stories. Im ready to give my background in the next couple of days in the new member area Oh and btw Happy new year
skyrider
The Pregnancy Policy What kind of board of directors legislates pregnancy policy to their employees? Forget diving into all the details......what gives them the right to insert when a couple s
potato
skyrider, thanks for sharing all of this. 1989 was the year TWI sucked me in, although I'd taken PFAL in 1985. I was advanced class grad twice over by mid-90s, and the later 90s were such a nightmare.
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skyrider
The Bribery Letter in the document file pinpoints a sampling of martindale's fury to the corps......but, I suspect, that he was SEETHING FOR MONTHS as to why his new class, that "grand undertaking and deeply personal measure of outpouring of self," was literally dead in the water.
Stop and think about that "bribery letter" and its accusations..........then...........compare it to a portion of this "Gift Policy to Rev. Martindale" below:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The spiritual "big dog" eats well.............the field corps eats the scraps on the floor.
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Rocky
How delightfully cheesy!
Edited by RockyBtw, I've not given much thought to the original sin teaching... but who was Eve supposedly having a lesbian relationship with? A granddaughter?
by request
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skyrider
1997 Year: Several of the broad strokes, listed above, give you the trajectory of this year.....and how it escalated. I tend to like an overview of things, like stepping back and looking at something from a wide range.......then fill in details.
Note: The "Vision and Direction" policies came in September 1997 ........TWO YEARS after corps went on payroll.
http://www.greasespotcafe.com/waydale/html-docs/vision.htm
TWO YEARS later......
Is THAT the way to run a railroad? LOL
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skyrider
A friendly suggestion: Rocky.....please delete/edit that stupid policy letter from your post. I can't stand to see it twice in succession. LOL
And......no, I will not be delving into any of that eve/lesbian issue. I actually detest even noting it.....but it adds significance to wap and timeline.
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skyrider
No More Twi-Policy Additions: I will NOT be adding any more long-form "twi-policy positions" to this thread......links (maybe), but no more full-length documented forms and dissecting their component parts. All of that is just "too much in the weeds" and puts ugly policies in the spotlight.
My purpose is to expose the personal, destructive nature of the beast......and spear it to death.
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Bolshevik
Tahu Vu Bahu (sp?) "Without form and void" <---- why talk so much about this and never give any good advice that is constructive?
It amazes me he spent so much time seeking ways to shock minds. It amazes me more that followers seemingly craved new nonsense. How could a group constantly think evil and not see the results of their own behavior year after year, decade after decade? (that's meant rhetorically)
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Rocky
To me, it just highlights the absurdity of twi.
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chockfull
Long story short the devil. Satan, transforming himself into a female serpent for the sole purpose of luring eve into a homosexual relationship. This was the original sin. As proof, Michaelangelo painted this picture with Eve, the fruit and the serpent and the serpent looks female. He must of had rebbelashun.
Either that or it was the female goddess Hermaphrodites. Yeah. One of the two.
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skyrider
The Social Element: The fabric of twi was/is interwoven by many threads.....social, psychological, ethical, financial, spiritual and more. Certainly, I am no expert on the social/psychological forces that motivate individuals to do what they do.....but, I think it's safe to say that "the social element" was a major portion of twi's "tapestry." Yeah, I know......people claimed that it was "the doctrine, the scriptures, the word" that drew them in, kept their zeal and why they didn't/don't leave.....but is that for real? From my experiences, I believe that the SOCIAL was "the red thread" that was interwoven, and pronounced, the most throughout the organization.
The longer one stayed.......the more inter-connected the threads of relationships. And memories. People have a tendency to overlook lots of stuff.......as long as there is social value to that involvement. Whether its a club, association, church, fitness gym.......or GASP, twi.
Whether doctrine or behavior.....who wants to mount a confrontation? Will it help? Will it backfire? Can you prove it? What if you're wrong in what you thought you saw? Will you be publically slandered like many other corps? The psychology elements are in direct correlation with the social elements in relationships and society, no?
In other words........people stayed because they were interconnected to others. Whether it was friends, family members, husband/wife, children, co-workers, employer/employee, boyfriend/girlfriend, dating someone ("date&switch")......or 30 other types of relationships. Some stayed even though they wanted to exit BECAUSE they didn't want to "disconnect" from a loved one [scientology documentary just exposed this trauma in great detail]. Some stay because of fear.....fear of change, divorce, loss of job, start over, etc. etc. or the unknown.
The GSC is a goldmine for reasons why people stayed or exited. Hundreds of threads tell the story.
It wasn't just teachings of THE BIBLE.......or PFAL. ppffffftt
.
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skyrider
The Book I Will Never Write: My goal is to finish this thread with personal experiences and insights of this martindale era. For years on GSC, I've "talked about a book I should write"........well, this is it. Hopefully, I've still got some material that will be of interest to many......and, if Pawtucket keeps the doors open here, who knows how many will come to read this timeline.
Charlene did such a masterful job of writing Undertow......it covers all the pertinent deception and underbelly of cult control in the way international. Lots of depth and exposure to the "biblical research" elements.
I plan to finish posting this timeline, because I said I would..........or die trying.
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Double Standards, Double Speak: The bribery letter combined with the "gift policies to martindale" was both flagrant and flaunting.....nakedly parading for all the corps to see. Here, martindale was the recipient of hundreds of gifts (or thousands?) and he throws out accusations of bribery spirits? (or was it lust spirits?) OMG,.....the whole place stank of double-standards and double-speak. The confusion rippled down thru the branches for months to come. It got so anal that corps could NOT accept tomatoes from a believer's garden.....but they COULD ACCEPT tomatoes from a distant relative or non-believing neighbor down the street. Why?.....you ask. Because that non-believing neighbor down the street is not trying to bribe you with tomatoes to receive favoritism (ie..withholding of spiritual confrontation/judgment). But the believer in your twi is???....(trying to bribe you).
Another step towards.......no patronizing with those you lead.
This whole bribery "doctrine" or purge.....was insanity on steroids. Martindale could sit in his ivory corps chalet where gifts were heaped at his doorstep......but field corps couldn't accept an old computer by someone in the branch who was upgrading to a better computer/monitor. It caused confusion in the food/refreshment area too. Could you or could you NOT receive fresh muffins baked by someone in your fellowship?
Lovely ministry there, ain't it?
.
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The Paper Blizzard: At the limb, the fax machine was vomiting onto the floor at 2 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, hq didn't give one whit of concern for my needs, my sleep.....greene, fort, rupp, staley, numbnuts.......were dead to me. Lost all kinds of respect for those guys. The paper blizzard stormed thru the limbs for nearly 18 months --- from Jan '97-July '98.
All those reports, policies, procedures, updates, .....and then, the reporting back. I get a headache just thinking about it.
And......what is there today? A text blizzard?
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outandabout
I remember a Sunday twig coordinator meeting that left me in a total mental stupor - so many things covered, so much to do, so much to stay on top of. It was too much.
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Four Funerals, Four Months: Not sure why funerals seem to come in spurts, but they did......for me anyways. Quite often, these funerals were a parent or relative of the believers who didn't have a home church or pastor. So, what's a twi-clergyman to do? Turn them down? Tell them you only do funerals for household believers? I had no idea what my region guy would have said......I never asked. If I can't walk in love and help others, then fire me and find some other guy.........I have one standard: love thy neighbor as thyself. And, funerals take a lot of love.
I never minded doing funerals or weddings....like some in twi. To me, it was an open door to be intimately involved in peoples' lives. It grounded me in reality.....and kept, intact, my sanity from bizarre, blundering buffoons in Ohio. Yeah, that was my attitude.......and still is.
For years, even before things got real crazy......I said that I never should have gone in the corps. And, by extension......I know that I didn't abide by the wierwille/martindale frame of clergy. But the clergymen I chose to model were Rev. Ross Tra-cy, Rev. Lonne1l J0hnson, and Rev. A.J. Berr3ta. And, they'd all left twi years before.
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WAP -- Intermediate Class: All the corps needed the upgrade version......then, all the others. Same process, same rodeo.
Throughout my twi tenure, I always thought that the intermediate class was an anomaly. Twi leadership made such a big deal about the foundational class AND the advanced class.....but the intermediate class was "no man's land." You left some place.....on your way to somewhere else, but no one cared about the transition, or journey (the intermediate class)...only the destination (adv class). Who ever wore their intermediate class nametag to the roa? Wasn't even a nametag, was there?
So.....that which was, was again. No one really cared about this class. It was just to notch the belt.....and move on.
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Peggy's Funeral Was Personal: I had gone for my morning run, leaving the house at 5:40am. It was still dark, but the air was mild and the city streets were relatively quiet....and I hadn't even broken a sweat when a car flashed its lights and pulled up beside me. My wife had been out driving the neighborhood looking for me. Tim, Peggy's husband, had phoned and said Peggy had sudden cardiac arrest and an emergency response team was headed to their home. Quickly, we drove to their place.... about 14 blocks away.
The response team was there in the bedroom.....trying to revive her. She had stopped breathing minutes ago......before we arrived. No response. I closed my eyes and prayed to God......a few more minutes passed and the realization of her passing had set in. Peggy was gone; she'd taken her last breath. I had never been in the room when someone took their last breath, nor did it happen here.....just minutes too late. This one's going to sting; Rod and Jo loved her dearly. This death required a phone call to the region guy......and would reach rev. martindale within two hours.
Craig made the announcement at the hq-noon meal......and went on a lengthy spiel about exercise and good cardiovascular health, or something like that. He also made mention of it at our next corps meeting. So, yeah.....it was deeply personal for me. Peggy's sole reason for coming to Oklahoma was to fulfill a need......namely, be the twig coordinator in Stillwater, Oklahoma for rod and jo and a few others. She'd been in Wisconsin....and her leadership felt this would be a good fit for her growing desire to serve. She accepted. I helped her transition into the t.c. position.....later, performed her wedding.....and now, her funeral.
And, to put in context.....what I'd posted earlier: ....................When Peggy died, her brother in Florida was on probationary status in lieu of twi-mandates. Bob Moneyhands phoned me to let me know, in his stern opinion, that this guy should NOT be allowed at the funeral or around the believers. This brother would be calling me within the hour, he said. And.....he did. We talked for about 5 minutes and I told him.....absolutely, he should come and attend his sister's funeral and call me when he arrived in OKC.
The days passed quickly as we scurried around with all the details of the funeral.
Four days later, and this brother called me. He had arrived in town. We made every effort to ease his depth of hurt and sorrow. After the funeral, I invited him to the limb home to join several of us at supper, snacks, a movie and/or just hang out. He nearly cried when I offered this invitation. Nothing was really planned.....just kickin' back and living life was on the evening's agenda. Keeping. It. Simple. And. Loving. -------before leaving that evening, this brother gave me a big bear hug. He left OKC a changed man.
Lost all respect for Bob Moneyhands after that phone call.
.
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The Question Is Always.......Why?
One of the reasons for telling my story is........because I think it's a compelling story. In the process of living life, I unearthed me.....the things deep down, the things I value, what I stand for, and what I will not stand for, why I refuse to quit when things get rough, the inner core of what I want my kids to know about me......yeah, who I really am. Do other people search deep into their hearts in earnest? I don't know. Perhaps, it was all that open space and thought time while driving tractors on the farm. I could probably trace its roots all the way back to my childhood.....when I pondered at the stars in the night sky. But really......its when I went off to college that I took those first steps of my journey.
Should I regret my involvement in twi? To a small degree, yes.......but mainly, no. Why "the small degree, yes?"........because I regret the estrangement that was built between me and my parents via lack of communication, sudden changes, foolish spontaneity, and weird behavior (zeal in an obscure cult). How could they possibly understand my dropping out of college, going wow ambassador two years, back to back? They were perplexed and frightened.....and I seemed to be "behind a wall" to them. Years later, when I was months away from corps graduation.......they really thought they'd lose me forever (ex-communicated like scientology people), so my parents paid something in the neighborhood of $16,000 to get me deprogrammed from this cult. They were ready and willing to do it for my fiancé as well. They were right from the get-go...about twi. A parents' love looks different when you're a young adult.....as opposed to when, decades later, you look back. Suffice it to say, after this 10-day episode and I went back to twi.....my parents were deeply broken. And, even though I regained a small measure of that relationship back ten years before my father's death......the wounds were scarred in sorrow.
This deprogramming episode was/is on both sides of my measuring "regret."
As for "mainly, no?"........sure, I despise the corps indoctrination and exploitation et al, but I can't, deep within my heart, regret going into the corps, and on staff at hq......because, only on this path would I have continued to grow in love with this beautiful woman whom I, later, married. We were separated from one another during my final in-residence year and writing letters back and forth, love-planning for our lives together. But an unforeseen detour awaited us......don't they always? During my corps block at Camp Gunnison, my parents came to visit unannounced on a Friday afternoon in late April. Tom J., the corps coordinator, told me I couldn't leave grounds, but rather could go out to breakfast with them in town the next morning. So, my parents left and got a motel room in Gunnison.
In the morning, my parents picked me up at camp gunnison, at the gate, and we went to breakfast. Deceptively, they'd schemed a plan involving stopping back at their motel room before buying me some new clothes. Little did I realize the four men, thugs, who rushed thru the motel door and body-slammed me on the bed.....then, bound my hands, duct-tapped my legs together and gagged me before carrying me to a cargo van headed to Kansas. Gone without a trace. My fiancé worried and wondered. Twi sent out "enforcers" to my hometown to find me and bring me back...with no success. Ten days of deprogramming tactics.....[weeks later, I typed 36-pages detailing the account]. After the deprogramming, and slipping out the side door of that half-way house......I was flown to the Dayton airport, greeted by my fiancé and twi's security unit en route back to hq. After corps graduation, we were married in the brc and worked on staff. We have two wonderful sons. Thankfully, we exited before the gaunlet of classes and indoctrination. that awaited them. I could brag about them both.....their achievements and success. Isn't this the kind of drama, struggle, obstacles, pain, love and redemption that movie-goers go to see? To go "back in time" and change my twi-involvement, would change everything in my life.
Why did I stay so long? Because.......I was waiting for the confluence of multiple variables to flow together. I was waiting for the right moment where all of us, together, could jump and roll.....and walk away uninjured. The right spot, the right conditions.....helping others, too, if we could.....before jumping.
I remember someone once said....."It's not what we do in life that we regret...it's what we don't do."
I was doing what I thought was right.
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Rocky
Your story IS compelling.
Many people DO reflect and examine their lives... those who do (I figure) often find it very rewarding.
Stephen King's magnum opus, the novel and mini-series 11-22-63 is ALL about the notion of going back in time to change events. I LOVED the novel (all 800+ pages of it). The mini-series was wonderful too but in different ways. The bottom line is that the book was absolutely an object lesson for me in how changing course would change everything.
Edited by RockyBy all means, keep sharing. Including excerpts of your 36-page deprogramming record if you're willing.
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penworks
I agree with Rocky. Keep sharing, Skyrider. Take it from me, telling one's personal story is revealing, not only to readers, but to the writer. So write on! Tell us more about the experience whenever you feel so inclined.
Cheers!
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Flashback: Sitting with Wierwille: On May 5, 1981 when I arrived back at hq, the corps coordinators didn't know what to do with me. I had been gone from the in-residence program for ten days, had missed my slotted time to go LEAD, was behind in writing the first draft of my research paper........and there were questions that needed answering: was I still committed to twi, or now "an undercover spy" working for the other side? I sensed that corps leadership was suspicious and held some contempt over me. I was in limbo......until thoroughly interrogated. Martindale and F!nnegan summoned me to meet with them in the OSC bookstore break room. Questions.....what happened? what tactics did they use? who were they? how did you escape? you must have been "out of fellowship" to not see this coming?
Going to the OSC dining room for lunch, I felt like a spectacle. Yes, many staffers greeted me....while others kept their distance. Perhaps, I was somewhat gaunt in appearance.....having gone those first six days of deprogramming without eating [my adamant refusal to eat kept my defiant attitude on edge]. Thankfully, no fanfare or announcements were made at the head table to spotlight my presence. I was going introvert. My fiancé had her channels of networking........and, however it happened, by 3pm I was packing my bags headed to the "airport house," to don and wanda's home. It seemed like a combination of reprieve, probationary and seclusion. I welcomed it.
My mind was racing, over and over.....into the night. I was totally exhausted, but could not fall asleep. I'd been living on four hours of sleep for over 10 days.....waking up thru the night, every night. My fiancé stopped by to be with me. None of this had been easy for her, either. I was restless, agitated, disturbed from that morning meeting with craig and vince.......hell, now even my corps coordinators are suspicious of me. My fiancé told wanda that I just couldn't shut my mind down and fall asleep. Wanda had the remedy.....a nice glass of amaretto. That did the trick. I went into a deep sleep, finally.
Those four days at the "airport house".....my mind was alive with details of the deprogramming. I'd catalogued each day, periods throughout the day, sequencing events one after another by association. I never could adapt to that memory-peg system taught to the corps. So.....while in seclusion, I sat at wanda's typewriter and typed 10-12 hours a day.....until I felt it was complete. These typed pages were sent to dr. wierwille......and he summoned me for three afternoons on his motor coach to include this in his series "By The Way" articles that were published in the St. Mary's Evening Leader.
So........sitting with wierwille on the second afternoon, I told him, "Craig and Vince want me to go LEAD as soon as possible." And, wierwille, took a long drag on his cigarette and said, "Son, you already HAD your LEAD experience." I never heard another word about going LEAD.......I never went. Wierwille was standing in my corner and no one was going to fight that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's why years ago.........I mocked the LEAD program in one of my GSC threads. You don't have to climb rocks to be challenged.
If LEAD was spiritual
.
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Back to
the Future.......1997 Timeline: Need to insert some items that slipped by.......
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September 1997: Peggy' death stung me deeply. I wrestled with this somber mood for weeks.....and no, I wasn't going to call my region leadership, the la1lys, to tell me to "renew my mind." I still resented bob moneyhand's intrusive counsel into how to handle Peggy's brother....and if that's the direction of this ministry, then count me out. I needed to be alone. I wanted to be alone. I thought about that verse where the apostles disengaged and said......"we go fishing." I went to a movie.....by myself.
Titanic was playing in movie theaters across the nation with huge reviews. Sounded good.....bought the ticket, bought the popcorn, sat down. Little did I realize that powerful, emotional impact this movie would have on deep-seated, moving, questions:
I left the movie theater in deep ponder. I, too, could "still smell the fresh paint" of so many memories.
A week later, I went again.
.
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skyrider
Exploring Creative Ideas: Thinking and doing the same things over and over again was insane. The monotony was killing me. The sizzle of anything exciting about twi had LONG disappeared. When I worked at hq.....I was always trying to live outside of my "nine dots" patterns. I worked on the wedding committee.....where six of us were tasked as wedding planners and facilitators, mediators between hq-clergy and couples prepping for their wedding day. From such locations like the Fine Arts and Historical Center in Sidney, OH, the BRC, or the campfire area in the way woods.....we made it happen.
More storage space was needed for accounting/finances/legal departments......and the architects were in the planning/design stages of using the west end of the warehouse. They'd been studying those sliding-track systems to maximize storage and facilitate access to file cabinets behind file cabinets. The concrete floor needed to be torn up and steel tracks set in place to slide large cabinets back and forth. Anyways, I got wind of it and thought it was nuts! I went to my area coordinator, A.J....and told him how this would compromise that whole section from further use during special events. Many people just had no idea how vastly diversified that warehouse was used throughout the year. A multi-purpose warehouse....for a multi-purpose cult. So, I quickly studied up on mezzanine usage and sent my proposal to A.J. B3rreta and Howard Allen. The mezzanine would be installed over the shipping/receiving area and other offices....the high ceilings were empty space anyways. Next day, Howard sent back a short note to me thru interoffice mail......"Best idea I've seen on this."
Later, I assisted Bob W1negarner and, by extension somewhat, Rosalie with all that High Country Caravan series. Yeah, a glorified "go-fer" I suppose...... but it added to something new, something outside my "warehousing department circle of thought and exposure." Running errands, watching rehearsals, stage cues, scene changes, ushering protocols......things to observe and explore. When Sound Out '84 came of age, I got to travel on the staff coach.....Bob & Rosalie did all the stage/emcee stuff and I was the designate "house manager at the grand ole opry" overseeing vip-seating, running errands front and back stage, anything to help assist Bob W.
More memories are flooding my brain cells. Damn, maybe I shouldn't have opened the door to my repressed memory.
.
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skyrider
How About Different Acronyms?
Or.....
Getting involved in the seventies, the 7-t's
See......that's one way to circumnavigate waybrain......create your own acronyms.
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