Headquarters: Places in the Heart: My mind and heart hold two sets of "Headquarters" in parallel universes: 1) The headquarters that houses the evil, the deceptive, and the destruction of peoples' lives.......where pharisees, pimps, seductresses, deceivers, bodyguards and filthy enablers collude into the night. Of course, there are plenty to fill the lower ranks to mow, trim, cook, clean, scrub, and polish its surface......who unwittingly, don't know or don't care to know its inner core. And, 2) The headquarters that houses special memories where my wife and I began our courtship, our memories, our wedding day and the first few years of marriage.
The 1995 corps week and roa was the last time I was there.
OSC: My interim year was in way builders. That year, 1979-1980.....was the transition year to the OSC. I hung nearly every door on the second floor. Later, while working in the cabinet shop.....we did work in trustee homes, conference rooms, and special projects.
EOB: The executive office building was, in the latter part of my interim year, where my fiancé worked.
Blacktop Area: Wierwille's motor coach was, often, parked near the shed and dog kennels. I spent three afternoons with wierwille going over details of my 10-day deprogramming episode, because vpw wanted to include them in his series of "By The Way" articles.
BRC: My wife and I were married there. Craig performed the wedding, Howard walked my bride down the aisle, and Rueben and Rhoda sat in the front row in place of my parents' absence. The deprogramming experience cut a deep wound into a relationship that never fully healed. But....I married the woman of my dreams.
Warehouse: After my corps graduation, I worked alongside Mike Sm!th (1st corps) in the warehousing department.....until he headed to Alaska. As department head, the vast complexities of interacting with 8 different departments, special events, safety, foot-traffic, forklift training, etc. was all-encompassing. My "office" was 600 ft by 120 ft......and "air" conditioned on both ends. LOL
New Knoxville Airport: My wife and I flew to Canada in March 1984 and were assigned as country coordinators in this vast Great North. Just seemed like nearly every work space throughout my life.......wasn't in a micromanaged cubicle.
Other Places: Because of these experiences, I am who I am today.
To me, it is necessary to properly define and distinguish the boundary lines of my past, my experiences. Whether it was good, bad or ugly.......I cleave to the "good;" eschew the "bad;" and eliminate the "ugly."
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You make good points, even beside spelling out the historical events.
For those of us who invested years of our adult lives in twi, it's tempting to be angry about lost time. The fact of the matter is that we are the sum total of our experiences. We can make the most, even of the regrettable experiences.
You make interesting points about the ft corps timeline. Twas shortly after they kicked me out, with max ignominy. But if I'd been there, there would have been both me and my fiance to support as ft corps. That would have meant 6 FT corps to, what, 20 committed wayfers. Be kind... 40 wayfers. Unsupportable in so many ways. Get rid of me, my fiance also goes, hey presto, 2/3 the bill goes.
1995 Rock of Ages: The Last One: From my perspective, this roa started out as same old, same old......since 1989, the smaller ones. Since 1984, I had long held the opinion that these "festivals" were little more than repetitious herd-fests........moving groups from meeting to meeting. Why didn't they ever do something..... ANYTHING....outside of the wierwille box? Sigh.
But definitely, after a couple of days, martindale was irritated by teenagers at the gazebo late at night....and some who stayed in "tent city" not attending the evening teaching. I'm sure others could fill in much more background on this than me. Since I was a limb guy, I had a list of responsibilities on my plate......one of which was Mr. Coat&Tie Guy usher duties in the main tent. Ugh.....it was so damn stupid. Sh!t.....why was twi so anal with the dress code at roa? It was this kind of stupid stuff that I deeply despised.
Not sure if it was Tuesday or Wednesday when martindale started confronting the parents. Main stage confrontation....not just the chain-of-command wherein the region -->limb-->down to the branches. Nope. The "homo-infiltration" charge got the rapt attention of everyone. The waves of confrontation swept through the crowd like strong breezes over a wheat field. And, by the next morning (as I remember it).......martindale turned the roa into a class, of sorts. Namely, each session built on the previous one.....therefore, "structured attendance." That's one way to get people in the seats!
I do remember this......a friend of mine, (spouse corps guy) asked for my counsel as to whether he should quit his job and go thru the corps program to be re-instated. His wife was 7th corps and he was "corps spouse"....until martindale sent out that July 1994 "dump the corps spouse labels." So, the corps spouse purge had knocked them for a loop and added stress to their marriage. Well, I spend about 20 minutes with him and listening to his desires and goals.....I told him not to go into the corps program. And, further.....I told him that I wasn't sure how many more years I was going to be "jumping all the hoops." Years later, he thanked me aplenty for this counsel.
The 1995 Rock of Ages will be long remembered as the "homo infiltration at roa".......but I don't describe it in those terms. IMO.....there were dozens upon dozens in attendance who were dealing with "a purge" of some sort (debt, unproductive, corps spouse, etc.). Martindale was adamant on devil spirit infiltration and possession.......but I'd seen this same movie by wierwille 15 years earlier.
The sooner martindale quit yelling......the sooner I could get out of that suit.
Future ROA's Cancelled: Good Riddance: At the first corps night in September, martindale announced that the 1995 roa was the last one. I hardly could myself from an emphatic hand thrust (like making a long putt)... YES!....but thankfully I quickly regrouped my glee. Didn't want to broadcast my "good riddance" to the corps seated around the table. But hey......thank the Lord for small blessings.
Martindale spend the majority of the corps meeting going over corps responsibilities as full-time and more details forthcoming. As I stated before, ".....I believe that martindale had NO CLUE of the financial ramifications of putting all corps on full-time staff. That meant.....EVERYTHING that the corps were legitimately doing for twi was attached to financial decisions. Travel, gas, motel, food, snacks, cable tv, pets, etc. etc...... every aspect of the corps was NOW under a microscope. THAT is why, I believe, that the roa was cancelled.......imagine all the expense incurred by corps and family to travel across the usa and attend corps week and roa?
THAT is why on the first corps night of 1995, martindale stated that NO CORPS should plan to attend the Dallas 'special' unless specifically invited (to work).......BECAUSE then, technically, if many came, they'd turn around and include all their expenses on a petty cash reimbursement form.
After 1995 ROA......every corps person was slated for extreme scrutiny to see if they were "spiritually worthy" of being full-time. During that first month in September, my region coordinator was tasked by martindale and trunk office to ELIMINATE CORPS FROM PAYROLL. Yes, within a matter of weeks......8 corps in my limb were told that they didn't measure up and needed to go get a secular job. Double speak was everywhere. Soon......martindale came up with that term "corps alumni" to add another distinction to being faithful to twi, but not active (full-time) corps.
Money, money, money.......the trunk office had to triple their staff to handle all the financial statements, reimbursements, faxes, updates, etc."
All Corps Full-time "Revelation" Was Conditional: Within weeks, martindale sent the region men to purge the corps ranks. Although they tried to inject an air of spirituality to these decisions.......in reality, it was MONEY. In my state, there were 12 corps who went full-time. If every couples' "need-basis" budget averaged around $26,000 - $30,000 (or whatever it was)......that sure takes a huge bite in the operation expenses of a non-profit organization. Plus, all of these corps grads were NOW not tithing or abundant sharing. It took a few weeks.....but I think that it finally dawned on martindale that a fiasco was afoot.
Corps were told that they didn't measure up in commitment. What? I thought this was an "all active corps go full-time revelation"......but now conditions were imposed. The "revelation" was being tweaked. Sheeesh. That didn't take long. Now, corps who had quit their employment were forced to go and see if they could have their job back. Or, it was just so damn awkward......some looked for new employment. The corps were disposable.
Everything in twi was tweaked.........even "revelation" from God.
Happy Cult Thanksgiving: There's nothing like spending 5 days with your "cult family" at Thanksgiving. Well, since twi can score budget pricing over an extended Thanksgiving Weekend (because EVERYONE ELSE is with their families).......it became an annual event. At this time, Dallas became the premier destination because of location and support (lots of corps in Texas). And, twi scheduled these Advanced Class Special in Dallas for '96, '97 and '98.
Notice: The sales targeting towards "advanced class grads?" Twi desperately needed their strength of numbers......for abs and potential corps.
Maybe it was just me.....but I swear, at these major events Craig, Don and Howard would give extra special concern and attention to advanced class grads and, without hesitation, turn to a corps grad and bark an order. Slave labor with a nametag. Since we were in Oklahoma......my wife and I was selected to attend (work).
So.......I was Mrs. Wierwille's escort at the time. Whatever she wanted to do, wherever she wanted to go......I had to be ready. My alarm clock was set for 4:40am every day for those five days (Wednesday-Sunday). I was expected to be ready for the unexpected. From 6:30am-10:30pm.....I was "on duty." If she stopped to use the restroom, then I quickly went to the men's restroom, as well. I was NOT to inconvenience her AT ALL......or she'd show her displeasure. This escort assignment didn't just come out of the blue......I'd escorted Mrs. Owens to the HQ-Staff Christmas Party in 1982 and '83 and sat at the head table with Dr. and Mrs. Wierwille.
Escorting Mrs. Owens was a pleasure. [Ermal had died in July 1981.] She was light-hearted and funny. After dinner, she wanted me to go dance with my wife. Her concern for my enjoyment warmed my heart. She was a delight.
Escorting Mrs. Wierwille was more challenging than anything I was assigned at roa.
And, yeah.......I had to be in suit and tie from 6am-11pm. Ugh.
Ho Ho Horrendous: As the 1995 year wrapped up, the presents......er, presence of the board of trustees was encroaching into our very lives. That "needs-basis" doctrine instituted by wierwille gave the cult horrendous power and control over our lives, our children. The presents underneath the Christmas tree......were they really a need? Why did I have to justify in my mind what we had bought our kids? There might as well been coal in those stockings by the fireplace......the way I felt.
Just like escorting Mrs. Wierwille the month before, we were tethered at the hip......with the trustees. Wherever they wanted to go, we were going. Prior to this, I had "my space".......probably a lot more space and freedom than most corps. But now.....this brooding over us, how I spent my time, my money,....was suffocating and distressful. I know, I know......it was THERE all along, but not for me. Not like this.
Not sure where this would go in 1996, but..........Ho-Ho Holycrap.
Clock Out: Martindale set the policy from the start......Be in your office ready for the day at 8am sharp. Mothers of small children were granted leeway in this area.....to get their kids to the school bus or school. Even if you'd been out past midnight, traveling home after a branch meeting or something.......at your desk, 8am. And, don't be using this desk time for study time......doncha know, wierwille was up at 4 every morning and had put in three hours of study before breakfast.
Phones, faxes, reports, meetings, study prep for teachings,......it all added up to a blur of activity. Every day. Not all corps were this busy.....but the Limb and Region guys were in high gear [.....and '96 and '97 were throttled higher]. Oftentimes, on the field.....Saturday and Sunday were slotted for branch activities, seminars, classes, etc. When do we "clock out" from work? No wonder staffers at hq stay at their cushy desk jobs for 30 years......they don't do branch witnessing nights, outreach reports, run classes on weekends, none of the "heavy-lifting"......they clock out and go home. My office WAS my home.
So much was still such blurred boundaries that many were afraid to ask. What days off do we get for Christmas? No one asked. Other holidays? They would let us know. Could the corps leave town and go see their parents or relatives? Any questions like this might lead to major confrontation......and who wanted that?
Praying In the New Cult Year: During my corps indoctrination......er, training we were instructed to be back at Emporia by 5pm December 30th. The reason was simple.....December 31st was dr. wierwille's birthday and homage was due. This gave us one day in preparation to gear up for the big night. So, the trained corps went forth to extend this homage throughout the land.......to adv class grads, and down to the newbie recruit. New Year's Eve was "How Great Thou Art, Dr. Wierwille Night".........and the cult prayed to their idol.
Couldn't we just skip this one time......and head to the local bar for a Jack and Coke?
More than likely, my disgust for the new year's eve ritual came from the corps coordinators........the adulation slobber-fest was surreal. And, those "lift lists?" Why was wierwille at the top? Was he first? The most important? If the way ministry was a tree and the trunk went down to the roots......wasn't wierwille down somewhere in the dirt? I mean, really, if we're going to stay true to "the way tree" symbolism, the leaves were at the top........wierwille should be buried in the dirt, no? But yeah.....if twi was a pyramid, then wierwille should be on top.
For over two decades, I was indoctrinated with this adulation/idolatry. At the time, I didn't know about his plagiarism, drunkenness or sexual predation.....but now I know. And, yet........each year, at new year's eve, I still am trying to delete "that programming" in my head. Maybe, someday it'll happen....where my mind doesn't register one cognitive thought of the man, wierwille, on new year's eve. But not yet.........in three days, December 31st will mark the 100th year of his birth.
I'm going to have a few drinks early that night.....and drown those memories in Jack and Coke.
1996: Picking Up Speed: The train was out of the station and picking up speed.
Martindale would be videotaping a new foundational class in Feb/March: The Way of Abundance and Power
No audience, only select individuals in auditorium. Joe C0ulter and crew at a/v.
During these 6 weeks (or 8?).....no sunday services at twi auditorium
All corps branches on field will do sunday service.....top protocol, meeting room, ushers, bookstore set-up and dress code
The field corps had plenty to do.....prep, teachings, witness to bring people in, class promotions, etc.
After a couple of these branch "sunday teachings" (in a row)........the local support was wore out, no new people came
Updates on the class-in-progress
It was a blur.......and before we knew it, April had arrived.
Now, all the corps systematically sat thru each session of the wap class. Then, in May/June.......the class registration was open to the faithful follower. Any new people were not invited until the "twi-remnant" was processed thru.
One way to highlight the schedule during this time is to take a look at all the meetings we were required to hold. I was reminded of something Leah Remini said on one of the Scientology expose shows, how Scientology keeps people so busy they don't have time to think.
Sunday - fellowship - or a Branch/Limb meeting or STS hookup
Monday - fellowship coordinators
Tuesday - fellowship
Wednesday - Corps Night
Thursday - fellowship
Friday - outreach events (sometimes can take this night off)
Saturday - branch coordinators once a month face to face with Limb. Limb had similar Region requirements
As you can see, there is never a complete 24 hours to schedule downtime, you are always being pulled one way or another.
How would this affect an individual? No time to think any thoughts but the party line, too busy implementing things to step back and reflect. New policies would have you compromise a little more than the last one did. A counselor pointed out to me because i couldn't see it for myself how each series of things the group would ask us to do is a little more and more of a personal compromise, but in small enough increments that we wouldn't notice. Then one day you wake up with an identity crisis and wonder how you got all the way over there.
Corps Night Became Day: Not that it matters in the whole scheme of this timeline, but thought any former corps grads out there might be interested.......when the field corps went full-time, then it made more sense to have those dial-a-corps-meetings moved to Wednesday morning. Obviously, now......the corps weren't in secular jobs, they were employed by twi. Plus, it opened up another night, Wednesday, to teach, witness or run classes.
Back in the '70s, corps night was initially Tuesday night........then, moved to Wednesday night.
Another point: Martindale required ALL corps to listen to the sunday teaching tapes before each weekly corps meeting. Therefore, they had contracted with DHL to fast-track all tape deliveries. Each Tuesday, when the DHL driver arrived with the tape, we had scheduled time to listen to the tape. Martindale mandated it.
Then, the next day......it seemed like martindale spent 20 minutes of the corps meeting teaching us what he'd taught on sunday. Didn't he realize that we all got the tape? I don't mind some refried beans.......but this seemed like re-re-refried beans.
WAP Class: Eve a Lesbian? Martindale broke new ground in the wap class when he taught on eve and the serpent in the garden. It was a classic WTF-question that slapped everyone in the face. What?
There is probably stuff buried in the doctrinal basement here at GSC, if you care to go digging.
This one segment of the class drowned out everything else. It was so "out there"......I certainly had no desire to explain it, let alone endorse it. It just was. Martindale reiterated this "biblical depth" in Genesis on a couple of corps meetings afterwards but......I wasn't buying it. As these wap classes went forth.......the rippling effect of this "lesbian issue" caused a silent dissent.
Anything further on this issue....will not be coming from me. I had no desire to explore it....then or now.
Martindale broke new ground in the wap class when he taught on eve and the serpent in the garden.
Don't you mean, broke through the (thin) ice that vpw's teachings were skating around for years on?
Instead of projection one's own weakness onto Paul, and teaching that was Paul's real "thorn in the flesh," it appears they both just kicked it up a notch and taught it (their own weakness) as "the original sin." Who's next to teach what the real original sin was?
In the words of the Preacher, "The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun."
Advanced Class Grads: Before moving on, I would like to give a shoutout to advanced class grads. I know that this timeline is focused on my limb coordinator experience and the full-time corps aspects......but really, I could give dozens and dozens of accounts of the many wonderful advanced class grads near and far.
When we ran classes, none of it would have been possible, in depth and heart, without the support and giving of your talents and time. Branch meetings, special seminars, Pentecost weekends, limb events, weddings, etc..........advanced class grads provided the backbone of support. Thank you for all of it. You, too, gave time away from your families and kids to help serve. You, too, got less sleep or carried burdens that you probably got very little thanks in return.
Some of my fondest memories were with you. Heck, there was a time when things were less crazy that we went snow skiing together (Whistler, British Columbia, Canada) or those times of basketball, waterskiing, golf outings, movies, barbeques, etc. Many of you advanced class grads sponsored us thru the corps program.....even when we didn't write letters of thanks all that often. Some of you had businesses and offered employment to us wandering corps.
I am indebted to so many advanced class grads who helped carry me when I was weary of heart. Thanks....you helped me in so many ways and changed my life and my family.
No 1996 ROA: Lament of its PassingBy mid-July, nearly every pfal grad was "upgraded" with wap-grad status. Red syllabi....flash, flash. Some different verses were now in daily conversation. New clichés and stuff. But NO rock of ages in August 1996.
Martindale heard the lamentations across the country as these annual roa's fell by the wayside....so, what's a leader to do? Schedule ANOTHER meeting......a limb meeting with an outdoors setting, maybe a campfire and sharings. Little did he know.......those of us in Oklahoma had already done this in '94 and '95. But we didn't style it around the roa-prototype, nope not at all. In Oklahoma, we water skied, played beach volleyball, grilled out, had fun......and I did a short 20-minute fellowship to commemorate our heart of thanks to God for just living life. Heck, I told the limb......don't bring your bible, the emphasis is on having a fun time.
We had a few in our state who had been to EVERY roa since its inception......and held their attendance like a trophy. But as I stated earlier......I embellished this new "twist of freedom." Year after year....doing the same thing, just didn't seem that God had any part in it anyways. Religion is draped with old fabric, not true Christianity.
You know, limb "meetings" and ski boats........good combination. LOL
New Corps Assignment Kicked In: I would be remiss not to mention how some corps coming into the state, some corps leaving.....affected us. Sure, there are many corps who scoff at the idea of "corps friends" and such.....but when you're rubbing elbows side-by-side for years, it leaves a void when they head to another assignment. Maybe some corps didn't much care one way or the other, but I wasn't wired that way. Social camaraderie was a staple element....otherwise, what's the point?
Craig's sister, Kerry and her husband (16th corps) had moved to Tulsa. Nothing quite like those strong-willed, energetic corps who've got an opinion about everything. LOL. And, another martindale to tangle with....er, attend to. With Kerry in the state, it increased my encounters with Rod and Jo....at ministry functions.
By September, outreach was top priority. Now that twi had this NEW (bling, bling) class......people should be storming the doors to sign up. Get out there and witness. They're going to be coming in droves. Rise and Expansion of this prevailing word is knocking on the door.
Dallas, Again: When this letter arrived in the mail, I knew what it said....even before opening it. Once again, I was "invited" to attend the Advanced Class Special in Dallas, November 1996. And, again......be Mrs. Wierwille's escort. Well, I guess that I must have done a fair job, because no one else was assigned to it. That spoke volumes. My wife would, once again, be working in the green room.
Another Thanksgiving weekend with the "cult family." It had been 20 years since I'd been home for Thanksgiving.....around my parents' table, eating a good home-cooked meal. Growing up in a hunting family......one year at Thanksgiving with aunts and uncles, we had turkey, duck, goose and quail. Now, THAT was a wild game meal to behold. Most always, we'd head out the door around 7am and hunt pheasant for about three hours Thanksgiving morning. Then, we'd field-dress the birds and enjoy the fresh pheasant. Those days were long gone.......now I spent Thanksgiving dressed in a suit and my butt in a chair.
Parenting, Children and School: All those years in twi.....and, rarely, was parenting, children and/or school a priority. As limb coordinators, this work load was gaining on us and crowding out areas of main concern......namely, 1) our children and 2) school. It seemed like the months of November and December brought these issues forward, front and center. Things like those parent-teacher conferences and holiday activities at school. Both our sons were good students.....establishing strong study habits (thanks mainly to my wife) and confidence by achievements.
Clearly, I could understand why the majority of region couples had no kids.....or one. The workload and travel responsibilities were immense. While in Canada, I had vast responsibilities and was challenged with the metric system, different currency, another language (whenever I traveled into Montreal or Quebec City or New Brunswick), flying to Vancouver and Calgary......but our first son was a baby, then. Fast-forward another eleven years and parenting was constant involvement and interaction. Anyways......I'm rambling. You get the point.
Going to Dallas each year during Thanksgiving (for six days) was not helping matters. Why was twi encroaching on EVERY holiday out there? And, more.....why were they instilling a cult-tweaked version of every one of them? No boundaries. It. Was. A. Cult. Every doctrine espoused by them needed to be embraced by us?? Screw that. I have my own family traditions that I want to pass on to my children.
And....education. Twi feigned to show support for higher education, but it was little more than lip-service. How about our young adults with masters and doctorate degrees advancing into circles of influence, wealth and prestige? Or, business and professionals, computer techs, and web designers, and communication specialists? Dream big...why not? Or.....maybe have your kid go into the corps program, like I did? ppfffffttt.
You know why this stuff wasn't discussed or taught? Because it was.......wait for it..........."worldly." LOL
Why was twi encroaching on EVERY holiday out there? And, more.....why were they instilling a cult-tweaked version of every one of them? No boundaries. It. Was. A. Cult.
.
That's the TRUTH! The fact that there were and are no boundaries... no respect for individuals... ensures that The Way International will die. It might be a painfully slow death, but it WILL die.
The fact that there's no understanding of nor respect for personal boundaries undercuts the entire system. That's at the ROOT of inability to adapt when it becomes obvious that doctrines/dogmas/teachings are flawed. It's at the ROOT of the practical issues that make the organization unsustainable from generation to generation.
Jesus cut to the chase when he responded to the Pharisees who asked him about the greatest commandment, in Matthew 22:36-40,
36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a]38 This is the first and greatest commandment.39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Martin Buber's book, "I and Thou" makes the point very well. From the blurb about this book on Amazon.com :
Buber's main proposition is that we may address existence in two ways: [1] that of the "I" towards an "It", towards an object that is separate in itself, which we either use or experience; [2] that of the 'I' towards 'Thou'...
Wierwille used to say that things were to be used, people were to be loved. But he absolutely did not grasp how to put that into practice, especially with the Way Corps(e).
Wierwille and Martindale used people. And they did a fine job of crafting language that made it seem justified before God. But the fact that they disrespected the needs, especially the emotional and social needs of people, it was still using people.
Because their practice ran counter to Jesus' teaching as to the greatest commandments, the entire "tree" was rotten.
This excerpt from the Amazon.com review is noteworthy:
"Throughout I and Thou, Buber argues for an ethic that does not use other people (or books, or trees, or God), and does not consider them objects of one's own personal experience."
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higherground30
Skyrider Thank you very much for sharing these hardhitting personal life stories. Im ready to give my background in the next couple of days in the new member area Oh and btw Happy new year
skyrider
The Pregnancy Policy What kind of board of directors legislates pregnancy policy to their employees? Forget diving into all the details......what gives them the right to insert when a couple s
potato
skyrider, thanks for sharing all of this. 1989 was the year TWI sucked me in, although I'd taken PFAL in 1985. I was advanced class grad twice over by mid-90s, and the later 90s were such a nightmare.
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Rocky
You make good points, even beside spelling out the historical events.
For those of us who invested years of our adult lives in twi, it's tempting to be angry about lost time. The fact of the matter is that we are the sum total of our experiences. We can make the most, even of the regrettable experiences.
Thanks for making those points.
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Twinky
You make interesting points about the ft corps timeline. Twas shortly after they kicked me out, with max ignominy. But if I'd been there, there would have been both me and my fiance to support as ft corps. That would have meant 6 FT corps to, what, 20 committed wayfers. Be kind... 40 wayfers. Unsupportable in so many ways. Get rid of me, my fiance also goes, hey presto, 2/3 the bill goes.
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skyrider
1995 Rock of Ages: The Last One: From my perspective, this roa started out as same old, same old......since 1989, the smaller ones. Since 1984, I had long held the opinion that these "festivals" were little more than repetitious herd-fests........moving groups from meeting to meeting. Why didn't they ever do something..... ANYTHING....outside of the wierwille box? Sigh.
But definitely, after a couple of days, martindale was irritated by teenagers at the gazebo late at night....and some who stayed in "tent city" not attending the evening teaching. I'm sure others could fill in much more background on this than me. Since I was a limb guy, I had a list of responsibilities on my plate......one of which was Mr. Coat&Tie Guy usher duties in the main tent. Ugh.....it was so damn stupid. Sh!t.....why was twi so anal with the dress code at roa? It was this kind of stupid stuff that I deeply despised.
Not sure if it was Tuesday or Wednesday when martindale started confronting the parents. Main stage confrontation....not just the chain-of-command wherein the region -->limb-->down to the branches. Nope. The "homo-infiltration" charge got the rapt attention of everyone. The waves of confrontation swept through the crowd like strong breezes over a wheat field. And, by the next morning (as I remember it).......martindale turned the roa into a class, of sorts. Namely, each session built on the previous one.....therefore, "structured attendance." That's one way to get people in the seats!
I do remember this......a friend of mine, (spouse corps guy) asked for my counsel as to whether he should quit his job and go thru the corps program to be re-instated. His wife was 7th corps and he was "corps spouse"....until martindale sent out that July 1994 "dump the corps spouse labels." So, the corps spouse purge had knocked them for a loop and added stress to their marriage. Well, I spend about 20 minutes with him and listening to his desires and goals.....I told him not to go into the corps program. And, further.....I told him that I wasn't sure how many more years I was going to be "jumping all the hoops." Years later, he thanked me aplenty for this counsel.
The 1995 Rock of Ages will be long remembered as the "homo infiltration at roa".......but I don't describe it in those terms. IMO.....there were dozens upon dozens in attendance who were dealing with "a purge" of some sort (debt, unproductive, corps spouse, etc.). Martindale was adamant on devil spirit infiltration and possession.......but I'd seen this same movie by wierwille 15 years earlier.
The sooner martindale quit yelling......the sooner I could get out of that suit.
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Future ROA's Cancelled: Good Riddance: At the first corps night in September, martindale announced that the 1995 roa was the last one. I hardly could myself from an emphatic hand thrust (like making a long putt)... YES!....but thankfully I quickly regrouped my glee. Didn't want to broadcast my "good riddance" to the corps seated around the table. But hey......thank the Lord for small blessings.
Martindale spend the majority of the corps meeting going over corps responsibilities as full-time and more details forthcoming. As I stated before, ".....I believe that martindale had NO CLUE of the financial ramifications of putting all corps on full-time staff. That meant.....EVERYTHING that the corps were legitimately doing for twi was attached to financial decisions. Travel, gas, motel, food, snacks, cable tv, pets, etc. etc...... every aspect of the corps was NOW under a microscope. THAT is why, I believe, that the roa was cancelled.......imagine all the expense incurred by corps and family to travel across the usa and attend corps week and roa?
THAT is why on the first corps night of 1995, martindale stated that NO CORPS should plan to attend the Dallas 'special' unless specifically invited (to work).......BECAUSE then, technically, if many came, they'd turn around and include all their expenses on a petty cash reimbursement form.
After 1995 ROA......every corps person was slated for extreme scrutiny to see if they were "spiritually worthy" of being full-time. During that first month in September, my region coordinator was tasked by martindale and trunk office to ELIMINATE CORPS FROM PAYROLL. Yes, within a matter of weeks......8 corps in my limb were told that they didn't measure up and needed to go get a secular job. Double speak was everywhere. Soon......martindale came up with that term "corps alumni" to add another distinction to being faithful to twi, but not active (full-time) corps.
Money, money, money.......the trunk office had to triple their staff to handle all the financial statements, reimbursements, faxes, updates, etc."
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All Corps Full-time "Revelation" Was Conditional: Within weeks, martindale sent the region men to purge the corps ranks. Although they tried to inject an air of spirituality to these decisions.......in reality, it was MONEY. In my state, there were 12 corps who went full-time. If every couples' "need-basis" budget averaged around $26,000 - $30,000 (or whatever it was)......that sure takes a huge bite in the operation expenses of a non-profit organization. Plus, all of these corps grads were NOW not tithing or abundant sharing. It took a few weeks.....but I think that it finally dawned on martindale that a fiasco was afoot.
Corps were told that they didn't measure up in commitment. What? I thought this was an "all active corps go full-time revelation"......but now conditions were imposed. The "revelation" was being tweaked. Sheeesh. That didn't take long. Now, corps who had quit their employment were forced to go and see if they could have their job back. Or, it was just so damn awkward......some looked for new employment. The corps were disposable.
Everything in twi was tweaked.........even "revelation" from God.
Link -- from January 2005
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Happy Cult Thanksgiving: There's nothing like spending 5 days with your "cult family" at Thanksgiving. Well, since twi can score budget pricing over an extended Thanksgiving Weekend (because EVERYONE ELSE is with their families).......it became an annual event. At this time, Dallas became the premier destination because of location and support (lots of corps in Texas). And, twi scheduled these Advanced Class Special in Dallas for '96, '97 and '98.
Notice: The sales targeting towards "advanced class grads?" Twi desperately needed their strength of numbers......for abs and potential corps.
Maybe it was just me.....but I swear, at these major events Craig, Don and Howard would give extra special concern and attention to advanced class grads and, without hesitation, turn to a corps grad and bark an order. Slave labor with a nametag. Since we were in Oklahoma......my wife and I was selected to attend (work).
So.......I was Mrs. Wierwille's escort at the time. Whatever she wanted to do, wherever she wanted to go......I had to be ready. My alarm clock was set for 4:40am every day for those five days (Wednesday-Sunday). I was expected to be ready for the unexpected. From 6:30am-10:30pm.....I was "on duty." If she stopped to use the restroom, then I quickly went to the men's restroom, as well. I was NOT to inconvenience her AT ALL......or she'd show her displeasure. This escort assignment didn't just come out of the blue......I'd escorted Mrs. Owens to the HQ-Staff Christmas Party in 1982 and '83 and sat at the head table with Dr. and Mrs. Wierwille.
Escorting Mrs. Owens was a pleasure. [Ermal had died in July 1981.] She was light-hearted and funny. After dinner, she wanted me to go dance with my wife. Her concern for my enjoyment warmed my heart. She was a delight.
Escorting Mrs. Wierwille was more challenging than anything I was assigned at roa.
And, yeah.......I had to be in suit and tie from 6am-11pm. Ugh.
.
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Ho Ho Horrendous: As the 1995 year wrapped up, the
presents......er, presence of the board of trustees was encroaching into our very lives. That "needs-basis" doctrine instituted by wierwille gave the cult horrendous power and control over our lives, our children. The presents underneath the Christmas tree......were they really a need? Why did I have to justify in my mind what we had bought our kids? There might as well been coal in those stockings by the fireplace......the way I felt.Just like escorting Mrs. Wierwille the month before, we were tethered at the hip......with the trustees. Wherever they wanted to go, we were going. Prior to this, I had "my space".......probably a lot more space and freedom than most corps. But now.....this brooding over us, how I spent my time, my money,....was suffocating and distressful. I know, I know......it was THERE all along, but not for me. Not like this.
Not sure where this would go in 1996, but..........Ho-Ho Holycrap.
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Clock Out: Martindale set the policy from the start......Be in your office ready for the day at 8am sharp. Mothers of small children were granted leeway in this area.....to get their kids to the school bus or school. Even if you'd been out past midnight, traveling home after a branch meeting or something.......at your desk, 8am. And, don't be using this desk time for study time......doncha know, wierwille was up at 4 every morning and had put in three hours of study before breakfast.
Phones, faxes, reports, meetings, study prep for teachings,......it all added up to a blur of activity. Every day. Not all corps were this busy.....but the Limb and Region guys were in high gear [.....and '96 and '97 were throttled higher]. Oftentimes, on the field.....Saturday and Sunday were slotted for branch activities, seminars, classes, etc. When do we "clock out" from work? No wonder staffers at hq stay at their cushy desk jobs for 30 years......they don't do branch witnessing nights, outreach reports, run classes on weekends, none of the "heavy-lifting"......they clock out and go home. My office WAS my home.
So much was still such blurred boundaries that many were afraid to ask. What days off do we get for Christmas? No one asked. Other holidays? They would let us know. Could the corps leave town and go see their parents or relatives? Any questions like this might lead to major confrontation......and who wanted that?
Why does the song Hotel California come to mind?
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Praying In the New Cult Year: During my corps
indoctrination......er, training we were instructed to be back at Emporia by 5pm December 30th. The reason was simple.....December 31st was dr. wierwille's birthday and homage was due. This gave us one day in preparation to gear up for the big night. So, the trained corps went forth to extend this homage throughout the land.......to adv class grads, and down to the newbie recruit. New Year's Eve was "How Great Thou Art, Dr. Wierwille Night".........and the cult prayed to their idol.Couldn't we just skip this one time......and head to the local bar for a Jack and Coke?
More than likely, my disgust for the new year's eve ritual came from the corps coordinators........the adulation slobber-fest was surreal. And, those "lift lists?" Why was wierwille at the top? Was he first? The most important? If the way ministry was a tree and the trunk went down to the roots......wasn't wierwille down somewhere in the dirt? I mean, really, if we're going to stay true to "the way tree" symbolism, the leaves were at the top........wierwille should be buried in the dirt, no? But yeah.....if twi was a pyramid, then wierwille should be on top.
For over two decades, I was indoctrinated with this adulation/idolatry. At the time, I didn't know about his plagiarism, drunkenness or sexual predation.....but now I know. And, yet........each year, at new year's eve, I still am trying to delete "that programming" in my head. Maybe, someday it'll happen....where my mind doesn't register one cognitive thought of the man, wierwille, on new year's eve. But not yet.........in three days, December 31st will mark the 100th year of his birth.
I'm going to have a few drinks early that night.....and drown those memories in Jack and Coke.
.
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1996: Picking Up Speed: The train was out of the station and picking up speed.
It was a blur.......and before we knew it, April had arrived.
Now, all the corps systematically sat thru each session of the wap class. Then, in May/June.......the class registration was open to the faithful follower. Any new people were not invited until the "twi-remnant" was processed thru.
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One way to highlight the schedule during this time is to take a look at all the meetings we were required to hold. I was reminded of something Leah Remini said on one of the Scientology expose shows, how Scientology keeps people so busy they don't have time to think.
Sunday - fellowship - or a Branch/Limb meeting or STS hookup
Monday - fellowship coordinators
Tuesday - fellowship
Wednesday - Corps Night
Thursday - fellowship
Friday - outreach events (sometimes can take this night off)
Saturday - branch coordinators once a month face to face with Limb. Limb had similar Region requirements
As you can see, there is never a complete 24 hours to schedule downtime, you are always being pulled one way or another.
How would this affect an individual? No time to think any thoughts but the party line, too busy implementing things to step back and reflect. New policies would have you compromise a little more than the last one did. A counselor pointed out to me because i couldn't see it for myself how each series of things the group would ask us to do is a little more and more of a personal compromise, but in small enough increments that we wouldn't notice. Then one day you wake up with an identity crisis and wonder how you got all the way over there.
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Corps Night Became Day: Not that it matters in the whole scheme of this timeline, but thought any former corps grads out there might be interested.......when the field corps went full-time, then it made more sense to have those dial-a-corps-meetings moved to Wednesday morning. Obviously, now......the corps weren't in secular jobs, they were employed by twi. Plus, it opened up another night, Wednesday, to teach, witness or run classes.
Back in the '70s, corps night was initially Tuesday night........then, moved to Wednesday night.
Another point: Martindale required ALL corps to listen to the sunday teaching tapes before each weekly corps meeting. Therefore, they had contracted with DHL to fast-track all tape deliveries. Each Tuesday, when the DHL driver arrived with the tape, we had scheduled time to listen to the tape. Martindale mandated it.
Then, the next day......it seemed like martindale spent 20 minutes of the corps meeting teaching us what he'd taught on sunday. Didn't he realize that we all got the tape? I don't mind some refried beans.......but this seemed like re-re-refried beans.
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WAP Class: Eve a Lesbian? Martindale broke new ground in the wap class when he taught on eve and the serpent in the garden. It was a classic WTF-question that slapped everyone in the face. What?
There is probably stuff buried in the doctrinal basement here at GSC, if you care to go digging.
But......there is this link Eve a lesbian?
This one segment of the class drowned out everything else. It was so "out there"......I certainly had no desire to explain it, let alone endorse it. It just was. Martindale reiterated this "biblical depth" in Genesis on a couple of corps meetings afterwards but......I wasn't buying it. As these wap classes went forth.......the rippling effect of this "lesbian issue" caused a silent dissent.
Anything further on this issue....will not be coming from me. I had no desire to explore it....then or now.
More later........
.
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Alert: My repressed memory is awakening. Damn scary, almost.
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Don't you mean, broke through the (thin) ice that vpw's teachings were skating around for years on?
Instead of projection one's own weakness onto Paul, and teaching that was Paul's real "thorn in the flesh," it appears they both just kicked it up a notch and taught it (their own weakness) as "the original sin." Who's next to teach what the real original sin was?
In the words of the Preacher, "The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun."
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Advanced Class Grads: Before moving on, I would like to give a shoutout to advanced class grads. I know that this timeline is focused on my limb coordinator experience and the full-time corps aspects......but really, I could give dozens and dozens of accounts of the many wonderful advanced class grads near and far.
When we ran classes, none of it would have been possible, in depth and heart, without the support and giving of your talents and time. Branch meetings, special seminars, Pentecost weekends, limb events, weddings, etc..........advanced class grads provided the backbone of support. Thank you for all of it. You, too, gave time away from your families and kids to help serve. You, too, got less sleep or carried burdens that you probably got very little thanks in return.
Some of my fondest memories were with you. Heck, there was a time when things were less crazy that we went snow skiing together (Whistler, British Columbia, Canada) or those times of basketball, waterskiing, golf outings, movies, barbeques, etc. Many of you advanced class grads sponsored us thru the corps program.....even when we didn't write letters of thanks all that often. Some of you had businesses and offered employment to us wandering corps.
I am indebted to so many advanced class grads who helped carry me when I was weary of heart. Thanks....you helped me in so many ways and changed my life and my family.
.
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No 1996 ROA: Lament of its Passing By mid-July, nearly every pfal grad was "upgraded" with wap-grad status. Red syllabi....flash, flash. Some different verses were now in daily conversation. New clichés and stuff. But NO rock of ages in August 1996.
Martindale heard the lamentations across the country as these annual roa's fell by the wayside....so, what's a leader to do? Schedule ANOTHER meeting......a limb meeting with an outdoors setting, maybe a campfire and sharings. Little did he know.......those of us in Oklahoma had already done this in '94 and '95. But we didn't style it around the roa-prototype, nope not at all. In Oklahoma, we water skied, played beach volleyball, grilled out, had fun......and I did a short 20-minute fellowship to commemorate our heart of thanks to God for just living life. Heck, I told the limb......don't bring your bible, the emphasis is on having a fun time.
We had a few in our state who had been to EVERY roa since its inception......and held their attendance like a trophy. But as I stated earlier......I embellished this new "twist of freedom." Year after year....doing the same thing, just didn't seem that God had any part in it anyways. Religion is draped with old fabric, not true Christianity.
You know, limb "meetings" and ski boats........good combination. LOL
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New Corps Assignment Kicked In: I would be remiss not to mention how some corps coming into the state, some corps leaving.....affected us. Sure, there are many corps who scoff at the idea of "corps friends" and such.....but when you're rubbing elbows side-by-side for years, it leaves a void when they head to another assignment. Maybe some corps didn't much care one way or the other, but I wasn't wired that way. Social camaraderie was a staple element....otherwise, what's the point?
Craig's sister, Kerry and her husband (16th corps) had moved to Tulsa. Nothing quite like those strong-willed, energetic corps who've got an opinion about everything. LOL. And, another martindale to
tangle with....er, attend to. With Kerry in the state, it increased my encounters with Rod and Jo....at ministry functions.By September, outreach was top priority. Now that twi had this NEW (bling, bling) class......people should be storming the doors to sign up. Get out there and witness. They're going to be coming in droves. Rise and Expansion of this prevailing word is knocking on the door.
Witness, witness, witness...........
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Dallas, Again: When this letter arrived in the mail, I knew what it said....even before opening it. Once again, I was "invited" to attend the Advanced Class Special in Dallas, November 1996. And, again......be Mrs. Wierwille's escort. Well, I guess that I must have done a fair job, because no one else was assigned to it. That spoke volumes. My wife would, once again, be working in the green room.
Another Thanksgiving weekend with the "cult family." It had been 20 years since I'd been home for Thanksgiving.....around my parents' table, eating a good home-cooked meal. Growing up in a hunting family......one year at Thanksgiving with aunts and uncles, we had turkey, duck, goose and quail. Now, THAT was a wild game meal to behold. Most always, we'd head out the door around 7am and hunt pheasant for about three hours Thanksgiving morning. Then, we'd field-dress the birds and enjoy the fresh pheasant. Those days were long gone.......now I spent Thanksgiving dressed in a suit and my butt in a chair.
I must have been insane.......
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Parenting, Children and School: All those years in twi.....and, rarely, was parenting, children and/or school a priority. As limb coordinators, this work load was gaining on us and crowding out areas of main concern......namely, 1) our children and 2) school. It seemed like the months of November and December brought these issues forward, front and center. Things like those parent-teacher conferences and holiday activities at school. Both our sons were good students.....establishing strong study habits (thanks mainly to my wife) and confidence by achievements.
Clearly, I could understand why the majority of region couples had no kids.....or one. The workload and travel responsibilities were immense. While in Canada, I had vast responsibilities and was challenged with the metric system, different currency, another language (whenever I traveled into Montreal or Quebec City or New Brunswick), flying to Vancouver and Calgary......but our first son was a baby, then. Fast-forward another eleven years and parenting was constant involvement and interaction. Anyways......I'm rambling. You get the point.
Going to Dallas each year during Thanksgiving (for six days) was not helping matters. Why was twi encroaching on EVERY holiday out there? And, more.....why were they instilling a cult-tweaked version of every one of them? No boundaries. It. Was. A. Cult. Every doctrine espoused by them needed to be embraced by us?? Screw that. I have my own family traditions that I want to pass on to my children.
And....education. Twi feigned to show support for higher education, but it was little more than lip-service. How about our young adults with masters and doctorate degrees advancing into circles of influence, wealth and prestige? Or, business and professionals, computer techs, and web designers, and communication specialists? Dream big...why not? Or.....maybe have your kid go into the corps program, like I did? ppfffffttt.
You know why this stuff wasn't discussed or taught? Because it was.......wait for it..........."worldly." LOL
.
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Part III
1997: Fury Unleashed
Developing.......
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That's the TRUTH! The fact that there were and are no boundaries... no respect for individuals... ensures that The Way International will die. It might be a painfully slow death, but it WILL die.
The fact that there's no understanding of nor respect for personal boundaries undercuts the entire system. That's at the ROOT of inability to adapt when it becomes obvious that doctrines/dogmas/teachings are flawed. It's at the ROOT of the practical issues that make the organization unsustainable from generation to generation.
Jesus cut to the chase when he responded to the Pharisees who asked him about the greatest commandment, in Matthew 22:36-40,
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Sorry I messed up the formatting in the comment above.
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This excerpt from the Amazon.com review is noteworthy:
"Throughout I and Thou, Buber argues for an ethic that does not use other people (or books, or trees, or God), and does not consider them objects of one's own personal experience."
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