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Christmas/holidays


newlife
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I was thinking about the holidays coming up this morning, specifically Christmas. I remember choking on that word and I just couldn't say it for a very, very, long timeafter I left TWI. It was always Happy Household Holidays. Well, I just want to know if any of you are having the problem I am having with Christmas. I can never enjoy it. I've tried. I've gotten the tree, all the decorations, listened to christmas music, bought presents etc. And I have to say, I don't like the holiday.. I don't know what it is except I come up with, It's not really The birth of Christ that happens, it's a holiday that was inspired by pagans. And I really think that is the reason I just can't just join in. Maybe I have too much of Way brain still, but that's how it goes for me every year. And I just wondered if anyone else was still having this difficulty besides me?

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For me, it's always been a time when our whole family gets together. It's a time to enjoy each others' company, eat way too much food and indulge in some adult beverages. I don't assign any religious significance to it. Along the same lines, I don't usually say "Merry Christmas", I say "Happy Holidays". This isn't because I'm slighting Christmas, it's because I see the holidays as being more than just one day. I also find it helps to keep my expectations somewhat on the low side. That way there's no big let down when it's over.

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When it comes to holidays, it's always what the holiday means TO YOU.

With my family, Thanksgiving was the FAMILY holiday to get together,

with Christmas being more for children and I've seen New Years may

mean more to young singles. (Halloween is changing a lot in the US,

so it may mean something to children, or adults, both or neither.)

You can designate a holiday to mean something, then it will actually

mean something TO YOU.

===================

In other news,

if you and your friends buy webcams,

you can use any of several free programs to audio-chat

or video-chat (with video and sound).

You might consider that, with friends spread so far apart.

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During my twi years I didn't admit how much I loved Christmas. (Always have and still do.) I hated calling it "HO HO" and having to sing the twi version of Christmas Carols. ie: "Speak in tongues, speak in tongues do it every day..." to the tune of jingle bells. Although the worst was "I'm dreaming of a white HO HO" LOL, how completely out of touch. Leaders were so superstitious about saying the word Christmas yet didn't have a problem with us all looking like a bunch of idiots walking down the street singing that we were dreaming about a white whore.

Anyway newlife, back to your question. I choked on the word Christmas for a bit, feeling ashamed because after all it meant Christ-mass a celebration of death. But this is how I dealt with it eventually. I realized that words can change in their meaning due to the current culture. Like when "you're so bad" evolved into a compliment. I now think of Christmas as the word it's called in our culture for celebrating in December. I try not to think of the origin anymore, just that there are days our culture sets aside to have celebrations and the one in December happens to be called Christmas. The meaning of the word has evolved for me. Non Christians say Merry Christmas because they are recognizing the holiday, not Christ. It's also ok to celebrate the life of Christ on the 25th as you might on any other day.

Something that helped my husband and I start to enjoy holidays was to identify what we really wanted to be doing. We had fallen into the pattern of keeping family traditions that had really run their course and were no longer fulfilling. On Christmas we would go to this set of relatives, Thanksgiving the other relatives, Easter at our house etc... Some of these locations also required travelling distances. We were knocking ourselves out to keep up these traditions and then when we got there it was tedious and boring. Then we'd come home and have to get back to work, feeling worn out. But since we're both die hard people pleasers it took us a while to realize we were no longer happy participating in these holiday traditions.

How we handled it was to give our relatives advanced notice that we would not be able to come on holidays anymore. We communicated it as kindly as we could. They were disappointed at first but it didn't last. It helped that we communicated well in advance of any holidays and that we found other less pressured times to visit. We have great relatives and we love them, but we needed to change things up. We now have a better time visiting each other on non-holidays. Quality instead of quantity.

We celebrate at home now, with friends we enjoy being with and have a things in common with. It's been a lot of fun. Everyone brings their favorite dish, we play games, watch movies and talk about cars or anything else we find interesting. We now save our vacation days for actual vacations.

But like I said, it helped when we finally identified what we wanted to be doing on holidays. It's different for everyone, so I would suggest you don't just go with the flow. Think about what would make you happy and who you would like to be with. I hope this helps.

Edited by 100% Free
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During my twi years I didn't admit how much I loved Christmas. (Always have and still do.) I hated calling it "HO HO" and having to sing the twi version of Christmas Carols. ie: "Speak in tongues, speak in tongues do it every day..." to the tune of jingle bells. Although the worst was "I'm dreaming of a white HO HO" LOL, how completely out of touch. Leaders were so superstitious about saying the word Christmas yet didn't have a problem with us all looking like a bunch of idiots walking down the street singing that we were dreaming about a white whore.

Anyway newlife, back to your question. I choked on the word Christmas for a bit, feeling ashamed because after all it meant Christ-mass a celebration of death. But this is how I dealt with it eventually. I realized that words can change in their meaning due to the current culture. Like when "you're so bad" evolved into a compliment. I now think of Christmas as the word it's called in our culture for celebrating in December. I try not to think of the origin anymore, just that there are days our culture sets aside to have celebrations and the one in December happens to be called Christmas. The meaning of the word has evolved for me. Non Christians say Merry Christmas because they are recognizing the holiday, not Christ. It's also ok to celebrate the life of Christ on the 25th as you might on any other day.

Something that helped my husband and I start to enjoy holidays was to identify what we really wanted to be doing. We had fallen into the pattern of keeping family traditions that had really run their course and were no longer fulfilling. On Christmas we would go to this set of relatives, Thanksgiving the other relatives, Easter at our house etc... Some of these locations also required travelling distances. We were knocking ourselves out to keep up these traditions and then when we got there it was tedious and boring. Then we'd come home and have to get back to work, feeling worn out. But since we're both die hard people pleasers it took us a while to realize we were no longer happy participating in these holiday traditions.

How we handled it was to give our relatives advanced notice that we would not be able to come on holidays anymore. We communicated it as kindly as we could. They were disappointed at first but it didn't last. It helped that we communicated well in advance of any holidays and that we found other less pressured times to visit. We have great relatives and we love them, but we needed to change things up. We now have a better time visiting each other on non-holidays. Quality instead of quantity.

We celebrate at home now, with friends we enjoy being with and have a things in common with. It's been a lot of fun. Everyone brings their favorite dish, we play games, watch movies and talk about cars or anything else we find interesting. We now save our vacation days for actual vacations.

But like I said, it helped when we finally identified what we wanted to be doing on holidays. It's different for everyone, so I would suggest you don't just go with the flow. Think about what would make you happy and who you would like to be with. I hope this helps.

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BTW,

you all are aware that this entire

" "Christmas" is short for "Christ massacre", celebrating the deaths of the holy innocents

or of Christ himself" thing was completely made up, and has nothing whatsoever to do

with the name "Christmas", right?

There's lesser holidays like "Michaelmas" and "Candlemas". That one doesn't celebrate

the deaths of the candles, just that candles are used AT THE MASS ONE IS EXPECTED

TO BE AT FOR THE RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY. I grew up Catholic, so I was expected in

church every Christmas, to attend a MASS on Christmas.

Here's Candlemas:

http://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/common/candlemas

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presentation_of_Jesus_at_the_Temple

Here's Childermas:

http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/prayers/view.cfm?id=520

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_of_the_Innocents

For the curious, the mass on Childermas (December 28) really IS a mass about

the Holy Innocents Herod slew in Bethlehem to try to kill Jesus.

Here's Michaelmas:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michaelmas

Here's a breakdown of the name "Christmas."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas#Etymology

""Christmas" is a compound word originating in the term "Christ's Mass". It is derived from the Middle English Cristemasse, which is from Old English Crīstesmæsse, a phrase first recorded in 1038, followed by the word Cristes-messe in 1131. Crīst (genitive Crīstes) is from Greek Khrīstos (Χριστός), a translation of Hebrew Māšîaḥ (מָשִׁיחַ), "Messiah", meaning "anointed"; and mæsse is from Latin missa, the celebration of the Eucharist. The form "Christenmas" was also historically used, but is now considered archaic and dialectal; it derives from Middle English Cristenmasse, literally "Christian mass"."

========================

"Christmas" was never a celebration of death. Nowadays, a quick online search can show that,

for those who need it said outright.

As for "Ho-Ho" songs, we did them in my fellowship decades ago, when we met.

I went along because I thought it was funny-which is probably why we all did it (in my group).

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The "mass" part simply means, "meal" - something you're going to eat no matter what day it is. Christmas = Christmeal. The meal to celebrate Christ's life and death became reduced from an actual meal to a sniff of wine and a pinch of bread or flimsy wafer (what kind of a meal is that!?) The eucharist, as WW says.

Feel free to call every day Christmas - to celebrate his life.

If you don't have any particular traditions or desire to enjoy Christmas for yourself, newlife, I wonder if you would enjoy helping others? There are lots of places that serve a Christmas meal to elderly, homeless, hospitalised or other people who are likely to feel lonely or uncared-for. Just think of it as an opportunity to serve - not as celebrating Christmas (if that helps).

PS - And throw away the vile "Christmas music" and the drummer boy and the sleigh!!!!!! :( :wacko:/>

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Drop the fruitcake, back away slowly and no one will get hurt.

LOL. I'll have to remember that line.

Thanks wayside and word wolf. I did eventually learn the Christ-mass thing was a lot of bunk. I was trying to be wry, tongue in cheek. Maybe should have put these behind that sentence. :confused: :wacko:

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  • 3 weeks later...

I understood not celebrating Christ's birth in December when he was (according to Wierwille) born in September

I understood not perpetuating the pagan obsrrvances

I understood that we were not be obsrrvers of days of seasons

but...

The Way pretty much did everything everyone else did except calling it "Household Holiday", all the while hectoring people who said "Merry Christmas" and mocking "inaccurate" Nativity scenes. Way people often had trees and decorations, gave gifts and took the day off from work.

What about it was a "household" holiday?

And "Happy Ho-Ho" just sounded stupid

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It was all so long ago, after I left TWI, I do recall sending out cards that I deliberately chose to say "Merry Christmas" as a rebellion against the TWI doctrine that prohibited those sentiments.

As for now, I enjoy decorating the tree, sending out cards, baking cookies and opening gifts on Christmas morning. And putting up the lights on the house.

I'm aware that the birth of Christ is not at this time of year but it's still a good thing that this season celebrates his birth.

I'm just glad that I am no longer subject to TWI and its ludicrous ideas of what they think we should or should not do to celebrate this season. Who are they to dictate that to us? I am FREE at last, FREE at last!!!

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