year2027 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 God, Christ, self, and nothing first One, two, three, around life as I live 03-21,22-2014 As I think about what life means to me I cannot see one reason to live but I do not want to harm myself even if the world would be a better place without me. What value have I made in my short life all I live for now is the enjoyment I get from watch TV shows a world of make believe. Sure my family and friends would miss me but a few seconds of sadness next to the pain that I live with in my life is nothing to want to live. It is the nature desire to breath that keeps me alive and the fear of what might happen if I ended it today while I do not fear dying the desire pushes me on. Yesterday I saw some by family it feel good but it it enough to removed this desire to give up no its not seeing that some family members are doing good is a good thing but my life still feels hopeless of no value. Will I harm myself no I not brave enough I will just go on to a road that has no way of freeing myself from this pain I live in. Will I ask for help no will I take my drugs everyday no I will take just enough to fool my doctor so that just the it is nothing to prolong this life and everything to make it end. What I do to live people have known eat small animals to fight off hungry so their body might live when needed. On ships mankind been known to drink .... and eat the dead bodies of their ship mates the human race has done things that the mind thinks is sick. I do not know how far my body will go to live but my heart is told itself it to late no need to fight anymore I have no value in life. The is no need to fight anymore life as loss it value I be better off dead than to live anymore in this world of endless pain. I do not want to live this pain everyday but what est can I do getting TV shows are not enough more life is not the show I am watching it got to be more than that. I am not one that lives for drugs to be high all the time or one that buys the friends with money I am not one of those people that thinks they have to be used. I think about life I have nothing new because means nothing to me whether I live or I die means nothing at all I just going though the motions of life if I die today it would not matter at all. Write or not write its just words that I could of wrote that I did write or did not it does not matter at all so thank you with love that does not matter and an holy kiss of truth or lies I tell myself about life because I still hope for more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waysider Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Roy Please get in touch with your doctors and be honest with them about what's going on. They are trained to help you but you need to do what they tell you for your treatments to be successful. We all care about you, Roy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
year2027 Posted March 29, 2014 Author Share Posted March 29, 2014 God first thanks Waysider I am trying with love of truth and an holy kiss of truth unto you from Roy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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waysider
Roy
Please get in touch with your doctors and be honest with them about what's going on. They are trained to help you but you need to do what they tell you for your treatments to be successful. We all care about you, Roy.
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year2027
God first
thanks Waysider
I am trying
with love of truth and an holy kiss of truth unto you from Roy
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