life

[year2027]

God of nothing, God of something, and God of everything first

Broken people because everybody is broken in way or another

02-01-2013

Have you met a person that did not have hang ups in their life we all have some things in our life that we wish we did not. The person that drinks their life away making death come faster than it could or a person that eats to must food we all have them things could bring a early death. Look at the person that stress will bring an early death to be the best they can.

When I was in the Christian churches I was so hateful to people I did not agree with their way of life and I believe I was loving to judge to hate others because they have choose to be gay, atheist, or anything different than what I believe. In the Way Ministry I hated those churches as taught by the Way Ministry because the those Christian churches hated them.

Later I was trowed out of the Way Ministry like a old shoe because I believe they was wrong than I join a cult Grease Spot Cafe a group on a board on hating the Way Ministry. To hate for any reason is devilish and wrong the full circle I travel in taught me the wrong of hate. Today I see how wrong I was but without the Christian churches hates I would not understand what love is, without the Way Ministry hates I would not come more about loving my brother and without Grease Spot Cafe hates to would see the full circle of hate because we all have some things we hate which is not love.

When I was a young child my first grade I .... on another child but the teacher made me sat on her lap as she show me a desk with candy in it. Did she do me wrong I not sure because I block out must of younger years but I whether think to forgive her in move on because if she did what made her. Everything has a cause and outcome from the things they had happen to them years later I hang ups with woman my friend told me I never learn how to play the game without buying their time but even that when I try some sexual things I get nerves.

A friend told me to write my life story trying to help me deal with the thing that happen to me in my life about going to the speech in first grade because what others children I were saying to me. The Speech teacher had to comfort me before she could try to help me with what ever was hurting me. The other children may of saw me as my first as my teacher's pet I do not know and at this point I do not care because they had their reason and I had mine.

Before my mother die in 2005 I try to get help from Elizabeth-town Medical Health place that I was banned from their place a Louisville Medical Health doctor told they did more harm than good. I will never let any place get control over me because what she did I spent a lot trying to hold my breath with my mouth open recorded it on a Webcam to see if I could really do it. My friend talk me into ending it after he saw that I could harm myself even trying so I stop about my the time of mother death.

One person might think I am mad for even trying but I am no dog and I not going to treaded like a dog they made me feel like I was of no value. Let me tell you a little what she did when my my mother was in the hospital getting cancer removed cancer from her body she put a mental hold on me because I she believe was breaking patient right to keep it personal and I try to report her. She was getting everything out of context wanting a date for everything as if she was getting high off every word.

I wanted help to deal with the things but she no help to me but what made her the way she was I can only pray she gets help. Today I am leaning how to handle by writing my feeling as I talk with my friends about the things that happen to me. I believe the only way I am going to handle the things that happen to me was the way I help my mother making peace with her brother sins.

On 1-11-2013 I ask my doctor to help me because things were getting out of my control my landlord was making me feel like I had no hope taking it out of my control putting in the hand of some one other than me. He sign me up for home care taking the control over my health care and I ask the nurse to send out Social Service to my house to deal with landlord for me because the nurses will be there if I have any signs of needing help. I hoping the Social Service person will help me deal with my landlord because that more than I can handle at this moment.

So today I am doing fine while I am still dealing with this my landlord is better toward me but I do want anybody upsetting my landlord because she her problems too which more the cause we do the things we do not want to do. Everybody is human me and everybody est that just part of life we all have things that get our top off the pot. I thank everybody that has been part of this and anything other because this life up and downs with the love of God toward us and an holy kiss of truth unto all whether we believe in God or not because truth gave us the right to make up own mind from Roy.

[year2027]

God of nothing, God of something, and God of everything first

I am feeling good having Home Care is woking for me

2-20-2013

I am not saying it will work for you but is helping me the nurses I met are dear to me just everyday people working for the best outcome for me. Sense I had them I been happier than before and my doctor is working for me for the best care he knows too working together with home care I sure I will get the best care I need. Now I not saying to do not get down low with my feelings I think about things I sure not but the nurse would see it and get me help.

Like the time my cable was not working not because anything I did but the wire was too old but it been replaced and working fine today. It was right around Christmas time when that happen to me I got upset and thing I known because I wrote Email the White House that got police to my door checking on my well fair because I was not taking my medicate like ask by my doctor. I hide in my home not answer the door because the things that happen to me in about 2002 AD where they tired me to a bed when I told them my mother was in the hospital for cancer.

To cut a story short the person that I was using to help me deal with things in my past put a hold on me because I believed she was breaking the rules between patient and doctor. The reason I believe this was because the office persons where winking at me that day I only told her that I believe I was God gift to woman in a round way. She should seem right the lie I told her so I wrote the board of mental health about what happen to me so she put a mental warrant on me.

A Central State Mental Health doctor told they did more harm than good because he was a Louisville doctor I never trusted mental doctors again until I met the one I have today. I went to my Elizabeth-town mental for a few months which was about six. Then I only went part time to my Louisville Medical doctor because it to must trouble to make a appointment for me.

So from 2004 AD until 2008 AD I did not see a doctor at all must of the time and I would walk out of many hospitals because the things happen to me. I did not write this for you to get mad at some mental health places so you would understand me because everybody is not the same and the fears she goes my be worse than the things I went through. So I for gave her a long time ago it blesses me that I got the things I have good friends, good nurses, good doctors, and good office staff.

So today I am not hiding from life itself I seeing a brighter day than before with my nurses that could put a mental warrant alone my doctor that could put a mental warrant because he also has degree in mental health alone with his degree in medicate. I fear nothing because I trust my doctor and my nurses to do the right thing for my hearth because if they did is get would be for me. Thank you my friends with the love of God unto them that believe in it and the love of mankind unto the ones who do not with a holy kiss unto which just is a hand shack of friendship from me Roy known as year2027.

[year2027]

God of nothing, God of something, and God of everything first

Some people think that is Pride of self that holds people back

02-23-2013

There is pride of pass things that we can not handle the things we hide from ourself that is what Christ wanted to free us from it is the pride that is happen now but all types of pride we live in. That is why I have nurses coming to my door to free me from some I can not handle yes I do not like the mental health field but I personal need a safe way to get help. Now that me not you and you might not be ready to removed that pride in yourself yet but I believe I am ready.

Let me tell about some of things I did in my younger years I would hide under the coffee table and sleep when I got upset my mother never understood this but I did it and still to this very day. I begin about the time of first grade at times I would hit my head when no one was watching but for some I outgrowth that part of it my mother never knew I was hitting my head until my early teens. In a Christian Bible camp the staff caught me hitting my head on the bean above me I guess there was no coffee table to hide under from things I could not handle.

Later in high school I was caught cutting on my self because I had outgrowth hitting mostly and I had a girl friend that did it too. I would write her name in blood on me but she was into it too alone putting a cigarette out on her arm she always hide the marks from it. I never did I had other friends that were into it also but they hide their marks also. My mother made me talk to Rev Mike Bell about but he never help my feeling about wanting to cut myself.

Later I went in the US army because my problem was not handle yet and I had a new girl friend I wrote her name in blood again not as big but I got caught anyway. Me and her were caught together in the female of Basic Training I would see her reporting to the Captain in line he would tell me my girl friend just trow up in his trash can or something like that. I was order to see Mental heath of the army so I went and I saw a Specialist 5 but she said she was going to get her her adviser to talk to me the captain. They were flying the head men a Colonel to talk to me but the next thing I wanting to get my papers home and before the Colonel could get here I was home.

I wanted to leave that place I sure they known something but I was never told I received a 635 discharge from the US Army maybe if they would of told what they found things might been different for me. Maybe I would got a little help sooner at least I would have known but the army did not tell me a thing about their diagnose. Thank you for letting me tell you the things I been thought today I not cutting on my self nor hitting my head on anything but I find my hiding under my Coffee Table when things get to me with love of truth and a holy kiss of friendship unto you from Roy.

[year2027]