I call the years between when they kicked me out, and when I discovered GSC and started to recover my mind, the "lost years." Sure I was there, and knew what I was doing, but I was in such a daze, depression, down the well, call it what you like, lights on but nobody home...lights not really on at all...the lost years...
Life is sooooo good now :dance:/> :dance:/> :dance:/>
When I was "In" I didn't think in terms of "Fog", but looking back it's 20/20. I was confused, frustrated....mostly cause I just didn't seem to "Get" what I thought everyone else had easily gotten...Understanding of teaching or how to function successfully in TWI. I had an "Inner drive" to progress up the Ladder, but never got above being a twig leader....(For which I am thankful now). I had a difficult time being what other people wanted me to be, but I sure gave it my best effort...but falling short in their eyes and mine. I'd say it was a time of pressure and pursuit of things I could never obtain.
After leaving, I remember being so depressed over what I had "Lost" while being in TWI and was confused as to was it really good from the beginning and went bad....or was it bad from the beginning and I didn't see it. What was right doctrine and what was wrong and how was I ever going to figure it all out. And really, mentally, emotionally, I was not in any condition to figure anything out.
Now, having been out almost 26 years...wow...it really has been that long, God has brought me out of the fog. He has restored a lot to me and given me more than I could have ever thought possible. When I left, I didn't think that even God could fix me, but I was wrong. He was the ONLY one who could fix me.
For those first few years, I focused on what I had lost...eventually, I had to let go of it all and focus on the "now" of my life. It certainly hasn't been easy, but it's been a journey to say the least. A journey I never had planned or even anticipated.
I am thankful for you all. Hang in there...it does get better and better, or should I say, You get better and better.
Ex...(or anyone else)....you can PM me.....Please do if you want some input from me. Hope to hear from you...lets connect if you want to. I will pray for you.
When I was "In" I didn't think in terms of "Fog", but looking back it's 20/20. I was confused, frustrated....mostly cause I just didn't seem to "Get" what I thought everyone else had easily gotten...Understanding of teaching or how to function successfully in TWI. I had an "Inner drive" to progress up the Ladder, but never got above being a twig leader....(For which I am thankful now). I had a difficult time being what other people wanted me to be, but I sure gave it my best effort...but falling short in their eyes and mine. I'd say it was a time of pressure and pursuit of things I could never obtain.
After leaving, I remember being so depressed over what I had "Lost" while being in TWI and was confused as to was it really good from the beginning and went bad....or was it bad from the beginning and I didn't see it. What was right doctrine and what was wrong and how was I ever going to figure it all out. And really, mentally, emotionally, I was not in any condition to figure anything out.
Now, having been out almost 26 years...wow...it really has been that long, God has brought me out of the fog. He has restored a lot to me and given me more than I could have ever thought possible. When I left, I didn't think that even God could fix me, but I was wrong. He was the ONLY one who could fix me.
For those first few years, I focused on what I had lost...eventually, I had to let go of it all and focus on the "now" of my life. It certainly hasn't been easy, but it's been a journey to say the least. A journey I never had planned or even anticipated.
I am thankful for you all. Hang in there...it does get better and better, or should I say, You get better and better.
NL, you are so right!! I went through very rough years, but it did get better. Thank God for small mercies!!
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Twinky
I call the years between when they kicked me out, and when I discovered GSC and started to recover my mind, the "lost years." Sure I was there, and knew what I was doing, but I was in such a daze, depression, down the well, call it what you like, lights on but nobody home...lights not really on at all...the lost years...
Life is sooooo good now :dance:/> :dance:/> :dance:/>
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waysider
It's ironic. While I was in, I thought I was seeing everything so clearly but, reality was obscured.
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Ham
I was out for about a year before the local offshoot found out.. thank gawd..
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Human without the bean
Those years (13) were Lost Years.
Lost friends and relationships.
Lost time spent with real people.
Lost time with real family members. (twi disapproved of spent time with our families)
The lost expenses from traveling every year 2000 miles and lost income to go to Ohio.
The lost opportunities we would have gained had we not been involved with twi.
Gosh, I still may have some pent up issues when I think about it.
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Human without the bean
It's my own fault. I went looking for the truth and instead I found a werewolf in sheep's clothing.
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Ham
fog years.. hmm.. maybe these were the years it was forced to, and could not see itself in the mirror due to some kind of atmospheric condensation..
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newlife
When I was "In" I didn't think in terms of "Fog", but looking back it's 20/20. I was confused, frustrated....mostly cause I just didn't seem to "Get" what I thought everyone else had easily gotten...Understanding of teaching or how to function successfully in TWI. I had an "Inner drive" to progress up the Ladder, but never got above being a twig leader....(For which I am thankful now). I had a difficult time being what other people wanted me to be, but I sure gave it my best effort...but falling short in their eyes and mine. I'd say it was a time of pressure and pursuit of things I could never obtain.
After leaving, I remember being so depressed over what I had "Lost" while being in TWI and was confused as to was it really good from the beginning and went bad....or was it bad from the beginning and I didn't see it. What was right doctrine and what was wrong and how was I ever going to figure it all out. And really, mentally, emotionally, I was not in any condition to figure anything out.
Now, having been out almost 26 years...wow...it really has been that long, God has brought me out of the fog. He has restored a lot to me and given me more than I could have ever thought possible. When I left, I didn't think that even God could fix me, but I was wrong. He was the ONLY one who could fix me.
For those first few years, I focused on what I had lost...eventually, I had to let go of it all and focus on the "now" of my life. It certainly hasn't been easy, but it's been a journey to say the least. A journey I never had planned or even anticipated.
I am thankful for you all. Hang in there...it does get better and better, or should I say, You get better and better.
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waysider
That was a really nice post, newlife, very insightful. Thanks.
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excathedra
i like you so much newlife
i'm having such a hard time in my life right now, it's almost impossible to believe there is a god, and yet i know there is and our savior
i hate that saying god would never give you more than you can handle
or god is never late but seldom early
i need him / christ NOW
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Ham
I can probably say the same thing.. even though for different reasons..
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newlife
Ex...(or anyone else)....you can PM me.....Please do if you want some input from me. Hope to hear from you...lets connect if you want to. I will pray for you.
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Grace Valerie Claire
NL, you are so right!! I went through very rough years, but it did get better. Thank God for small mercies!!
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