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Jackass: The Movie


Larry P2
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Success can be measured, confined, finely calibrated. It shakes and ennervates the core of our supreme existential angst. Is it a Harvard Law degree? Is it a Stanford Medical Degree? Is it a Dinan-tuned BMW M-5? FOr the most part, it is all slack, undefined and forever restless; the dreams of a forever haunted heart.

That is until Johny Knoxville cuts through the fog and miasma with this powerful new movie. Success is running around with a pair of hedge clippers slicing off the unwitting's hair clear to the scalp. It is Making Big Money by lighting farts and firing bottle rocks out of your cornhole on camera. It is eating a pee snowcone and then having the yellow vomit repeatedly repanned in slow motion. It is scuba diving with your shorts bravely packed full of shrimp to tempt sharks into nipping off your family member.

I have never laughed so hard in my whole life. If this baby doesn't get the Oscar, then the entire process if obviously rigged.

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If you guys get married after going to Jackass on your first date, then I get to be both the best man and bridesmaid. (I will only wear the obligatory jockstrap).

How are we going to arrange a suitable projectile vomiting exhibition at your reception, though?

And what are you going to do when your wedding cake which will appropriately shaped like a toilet, and some clown climbs up on it and takes a dump in it?

And are you guys going to Box each other at the alter? And will your boxing gloves match your wedding dress?

So many unanswered questions.

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