Theory of Exceptions

[Mark Clarke]

A poster called Oakspear has an interesting signature line. It goes,

"In theory, there is no difference between theory & practice, but in practice there is."

This reminded me of a theory I devised a number of years ago...

CLARKE?S THEORY OF EXCEPTIONS

There is an oft-quoted rule that says that there is an exception to every rule. If this is literally true, then there is no rule that has no exception. This being the case, the very rule that there is an exception to every rule is itself without exception. But if it is without exception, then it is the exception to the rule itself (that there is an exception to every rule). Since it is the exception to itself, it actually does have an exception (i.e. itself) and therefore the rule that there is an exception to every rule is proven true, and is without exception. However, being without exception, it is the exception to the rule itself and therefore the rule, having this exception, is not an exception to itself. Since even the rule itself has an exception, there is no exception to the rule and thus the rule is without exception. The rule being without exception, however, makes it the exception to the rule itself (that there is an exception to every rule) and therefore the rule is without exception, making said rule exceptionless. But this exceptionless rule is automatically the exception to itself, and so the rule has no exception, and this being the case, the rule is the exception to itself and therefore is without exception, for it is not the exception to itself if it has no exception, but since there is no exception to the rule itself, then it is itself an exception to the very rule itself, thus making it without exception and therefore the exception to itself??etc. etc. etc??.

Wrap your brain around that one sometime and you?ll understand why I can?t sleep at night. (Actually it?s because I work third shift, but that?s beside the point!)