Matters of the Heart

[newlife]

I had to start a topic on this after reading a book called, "Matters of the Heart" by Danielle Steel. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who has been in TWI. I could relate to the "thinking" of the main character. I saw myself in the book. I could relate to decision making that the main character went through.

The confusion that eventually clouded the thoughts to the point of not knowing reality.

I could see myself in the beginning of my stint in TWI thinking something is amiss here, but not really knowing what exactly. Seeing the red flags go up, but rationalizing why they were not true or eventually completely ignoring them. Pulled in by love and then going through various times of thinking maybe I should leave, but then staying because of what I thought was love. The thinking that if I left, I would be lost without TWI. Having other people outside tell me what they were seeing, but always taking up for TWI even though there were doubts and questions. Just so many things in this book brought a lot of things into a clear picture of my involvement. I thought it might help some others as it has me.

I've been out for 25 years now. When I left I was pretty much a mess and didn't believe that even God could put me back together I was so far gone. I was angry, confused, disliking myself and pretty much everyone else. But now, 25 years later I am so not the person I was, but I have been put back together and have a reasonably happy life today. But, it's moments like reading this book, that the picture of what happened to me becomes even more clearer and vivid.

Many posts here, many people here, have been a part of my recovery. And I thank you all. This has been a place where I could read your stories and relate to them and know it wasn't Just me that had gone through it. And I can't tell you how many days I spent in TWI wondering what is wrong with me and thinking no one else was going through what I was going through. I'm very thankful for your openness and honesty because it has been a huge part of my healing.

I know now that no matter how bad of a state you think you are in, there is always hope of healing.

[waysider]

Great post!

I have never read that book but, I can really relate to what you are saying.

Thanks!

[excathedra]

it is so wonderful to see you, newlife

i love the title of the book and am very curious to read it

it reminded me of a movie "crimes of the heart" i think the name was and if i have it right my brother always told me i was sissy spacek and my other sisters were the other actresses - i should go look it up

again so nice to see you and for the insight and book referral

love,e

[DogLover]

it is so wonderful to see you, newlife

i love the title of the book and am very curious to read it

it reminded me of a movie "crimes of the heart" i think the name was and if i have it right my brother always told me i was sissy spacek and my other sisters were the other actresses - i should go look it up

again so nice to see you and for the insight and book referral

love,e

Excie,

Crimes of the Heart is one of my favorite movies....sorry if this is off-topic....

[outandabout]

I just ordered it from Amazon. I'm such a sucker for books.

[newlife]

I trust that any one who reads the book will receive insight and healing for your lives like it did for me.

Be sure and post and let me know.

[Grace Valerie Claire]

On 6/1/2012 at 3:04 PM, newlife said:

I had to start a topic on this after reading a book called, "Matters of the Heart" by Danielle Steel. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who has been in TWI. I could relate to the "thinking" of the main character. I saw myself in the book. I could relate to decision making that the main character went through.

The confusion that eventually clouded the thoughts to the point of not knowing reality.

I could see myself in the beginning of my stint in TWI thinking something is amiss here, but not really knowing what exactly. Seeing the red flags go up, but rationalizing why they were not true or eventually completely ignoring them. Pulled in by love and then going through various times of thinking maybe I should leave, but then staying because of what I thought was love. The thinking that if I left, I would be lost without TWI. Having other people outside tell me what they were seeing, but always taking up for TWI even though there were doubts and questions. Just so many things in this book brought a lot of things into a clear picture of my involvement. I thought it might help some others as it has me.

I've been out for 25 years now. When I left I was pretty much a mess and didn't believe that even God could put me back together I was so far gone. I was angry, confused, disliking myself and pretty much everyone else. But now, 25 years later I am so not the person I was, but I have been put back together and have a reasonably happy life today. But, it's moments like reading this book, that the picture of what happened to me becomes even more clearer and vivid.

Many posts here, many people here, have been a part of my recovery. And I thank you all. This has been a place where I could read your stories and relate to them and know it wasn't Just me that had gone through it. And I can't tell you how many days I spent in TWI wondering what is wrong with me and thinking no one else was going through what I was going through. I'm very thankful for your openness and honesty because it has been a huge part of my healing.

I know now that no matter how bad of a state you think you are in, there is always hope of healing.

NL, you are so right!!  There is always hope of healing.  Also, just to add to your post, I think there is always something to be grateful for.