i have other things i want to say but i can't bring myself to say them
it would just show what a failure i am and i don't want to hear it out loud
Happy Birthday Excie!! You aren't a failure...you're human---like me!! I'm slowly learning to love myself, mistakes made and all. It is quite liberating...you should try it!!
What I'm wondering is, what were your options other than just to keep waiting? I was 34 when I got married and I sometimes thought my time had passed. Marriage is serious; you don't want to do it lightly, but you want to get it done while you're still young.
There's a woman in STL who got into twi in the mid 70s. Very attractive. She is now 60 yrs old. Never married. From the snippets of gossip I've heard, she has been too demanding. Wanted to marry Jesus, or something very close. No man ever measured up. But that's the other extreme. Either it's any two believers can make a marriage work, or nobody's good enough for ME! Of those two, I'll gladly take the former.
You make it sound like those of us who married older than 20s or 30s failed somehow.
What were my other options? Mostly, "settling." Being willing to get married while accepting that
at least one critically-important criteria to me was unmet and off the table.
I "kept waiting", I kept looking, and kept hoping. I'm very happy with how that turned out.
There's sensible choices between the 2 extremes. "Of those two," I'll try to reject both extremes
and manage something sensible. (Which I did.) Sounds like you might have done that yourself.
You make it sound like those of us who married older than 20s or 30s failed somehow.
Not this. I think those who find this kind of love to be blessed whenever it occurs. I have a close relative that found this recently - the news brought me great joy. It's not something to obsess over, but if in the course of your life this happens to you, please count it a blessing.
No failure. Each person has to choose what they feel is right for them. I put myself through many anxious moments for years. It was about when I turned 30 that things changed. That song by Bonnie Raitt. I can't make you love me if you don't. I can't make your heart feel something it won't. That song came out about the time I got married, but I think there's some truth in it. I just had to make up my mind that I was going to enjoy my life even if I NEVER got married. Once I did that I was peaceful, not anxious anymore. Then I met my wife.
Belated Happy Birthday Excie! May you have many more and may they be happier each year, full of love and goodness!!!
Marriage...never have been married. When I was in my early 20's wanted to get married and have 12 children.....LOL Got in TWI when I was 25 and was in it for the next 13 years. During that time, the only things I thought about was bible, classes, fellowships.....
After getting out, I had too much stuff of my own that I had to sort out, get help with, just recover my life. By the time that I was starting to feel good about God, my life, and others....I find that I am at an age that I will probably never get married. I grieved that for awhile, but then accepted where I was at in life, and how God had brought me to that point of being reasonably happy.
I think Marriage can be a beautiful thing. But I also know that being single can be a beautiful thing too. I'm content and I try to live each day with some peace and joy. I like my life today!
Some screw-ups I didn't need twi's help with. I was already divorced before I ever heard of them.
When the twi sh|t hit the twi fan, I was really thankful to be single. It was hard/confusing enough to walk away without having to deal with a spouse who might have wanted to stay "in."
I give a lot of credit to those couples who managed to keep it together, especially those who disagreed on "should I stay or should I go." (Now I can't get those song lyrics out of my head. Damn.)
Marriage isn't for everyone nor is child rearing. I know people who have chosen to remain single and are perfectly happy with their choice. Likewise, I know couples who have elected to never have children and have no regrets. The problem with marriages in The Way was that you were expected to function as some sort of sales/tag team, with promotion of PFAL at the heart of your relationship.
I asked this character the Big Question once.. what the hell are we, really.. though that question already burned holes in me. At least the cosmic reply.
and the answer.. we are just entities finding our way through this existence..
I would have married my husband sooner if we hadn't had all the 'Go Wow, Go Corps Go Here Go There stuff. He had a limb coordinator try to match make him with a single mom wow while we were long distance 'dating.' My area--there were no single Way guys my age!
Finally we just got married, though we had to have a 'plan.' Ours was to run a twig and eventually go family corps(we never did Family Corps).
Seems like most of our pre-marriage counseling was about The Word, Moving the Word--actually about the Way. And my Way wedding started with a big huge advertisement for The Way. Its so obvious now when we see the video.
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
9
7
8
7
Popular Days
Jun 23
9
Jun 25
7
May 27
6
Jul 19
6
Top Posters In This Topic
excathedra 9 posts
Ham 7 posts
waysider 8 posts
Grace Valerie Claire 7 posts
Popular Days
Jun 23 2012
9 posts
Jun 25 2012
7 posts
May 27 2012
6 posts
Jul 19 2012
6 posts
Popular Posts
excathedra
what a sad topic
waysider
The big difference between an arranged marriage, such as in some eastern cultures, and the type of thing TWI promoted, is that The Way marriages were intended to be a vehicle for promoting the organiz
chockfull
L-O-S-E-R If marriage is instituted by God and defined by the Word then "what God has joined together, let no one seperate" means that the commitment is not based upon some dumb-@$$ organization.
excathedra
today is my 56th birthday
i have other things i want to say but i can't bring myself to say them
it would just show what a failure i am and i don't want to hear it out loud
Link to comment
Share on other sites
skyrider
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, excie.
Hugs to you.
Celebrate it
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waysider
Happy Birthday,e.
You could never be a failure in my eyes.
Edited by waysiderLink to comment
Share on other sites
dabobbada
Poor Jesus, just think of all those expectant Nuns he has to deal with!
:blink:
And....
Oh yes!
Happy Birthday, Excie!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rejoice
Happy Birthday Excie!! You aren't a failure...you're human---like me!! I'm slowly learning to love myself, mistakes made and all. It is quite liberating...you should try it!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rocky
"""☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆ ★ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
╔╗╔╦══╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ ★ ★ ★ ★☆☆★
║╚╝║══║═║═║╚╝║ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
║╔╗║╔╗║╔╣╔╩╗╔╝ ★ B I R T H D A Y ☆
╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝═╚╝ ☆★☆★☆ ★☆☆ Excie!
Hugs and warm fuzzies and fireworks. We're all wacky! :)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
You make it sound like those of us who married older than 20s or 30s failed somehow.
What were my other options? Mostly, "settling." Being willing to get married while accepting that
at least one critically-important criteria to me was unmet and off the table.
I "kept waiting", I kept looking, and kept hoping. I'm very happy with how that turned out.
There's sensible choices between the 2 extremes. "Of those two," I'll try to reject both extremes
and manage something sensible. (Which I did.) Sounds like you might have done that yourself.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
chockfull
Not this. I think those who find this kind of love to be blessed whenever it occurs. I have a close relative that found this recently - the news brought me great joy. It's not something to obsess over, but if in the course of your life this happens to you, please count it a blessing.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
johniam
No failure. Each person has to choose what they feel is right for them. I put myself through many anxious moments for years. It was about when I turned 30 that things changed. That song by Bonnie Raitt. I can't make you love me if you don't. I can't make your heart feel something it won't. That song came out about the time I got married, but I think there's some truth in it. I just had to make up my mind that I was going to enjoy my life even if I NEVER got married. Once I did that I was peaceful, not anxious anymore. Then I met my wife.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ham
Mawedge.. a dweam within a dweam..
sowy.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ham
I met a Soul Mate once. Absolutely, positively NUTS. As in Kwazy. Out of their gourd. A deck missing a few cards.. a frigging lunatic.
I'm sure the description (aptly) reciprocates.
Maye this time around we needed some kind of vacation from each other..
Edited by HamLink to comment
Share on other sites
Ham
There is an age difference.
Not too much.. maybe 12 years? I'm not sure. But considering health choices..
over a hundred pounds overweight.. smokes lotsa tobacco..
vs. a 12 year later..
I don't smoke. Tobacco, anyway.. and even that, maybe three times a year. The non-tobacco version, that is.
I aerobically exercise about 4 to 5 times a week..
my only real big fault is red wine. I like it.. a *tad* on the side of too much.
yeah, we will reincarnate about the same time. If that's how the universe really works, anyway..
Mawedge? Maybe then, who knows.. if that's how the universe works, anyway..
Edited by HamLink to comment
Share on other sites
Ham
But the original topic..
I don't think there is any (real) marriage in twi..
they are as clueless as the Impressive Clergyman in the previously referenced old video..
just need the final pronouncement.. "man and wife"..
why can't it be "woman and husband".. I dunno.
I mean.. practically.. that is equivalent, isn't it?
from previously referenced old video..
just need the final pronouncement.. "man and wife"..
why can't it be "woman and husband".. I dunno.
I mean..
practically.. that is equivalent, isn't it?
I wouldn't mind be described as someone's husband..
Edited by HamLink to comment
Share on other sites
waysider
Now get out there and put a class together!!
Edited by waysiderLink to comment
Share on other sites
Ham
Ha!
well.. the next time around..
I have the mathematical prowess to be a lord..
I'm trying to figure out what the other party is supposed to be..
maybe that is what they are figuring out this time..
Link to comment
Share on other sites
newlife
Belated Happy Birthday Excie! May you have many more and may they be happier each year, full of love and goodness!!!
Marriage...never have been married. When I was in my early 20's wanted to get married and have 12 children.....LOL Got in TWI when I was 25 and was in it for the next 13 years. During that time, the only things I thought about was bible, classes, fellowships.....
After getting out, I had too much stuff of my own that I had to sort out, get help with, just recover my life. By the time that I was starting to feel good about God, my life, and others....I find that I am at an age that I will probably never get married. I grieved that for awhile, but then accepted where I was at in life, and how God had brought me to that point of being reasonably happy.
I think Marriage can be a beautiful thing. But I also know that being single can be a beautiful thing too. I'm content and I try to live each day with some peace and joy. I like my life today!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
how old are you newlife?
and thank you all for the birthday wishes and nice posts
love,e
Link to comment
Share on other sites
newlife
Well, I will be 63 years old and looking forward to the next 63 years!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
:)
hugs newlife
i think you're better off
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Linda Z
Some screw-ups I didn't need twi's help with. I was already divorced before I ever heard of them.
When the twi sh|t hit the twi fan, I was really thankful to be single. It was hard/confusing enough to walk away without having to deal with a spouse who might have wanted to stay "in."
I give a lot of credit to those couples who managed to keep it together, especially those who disagreed on "should I stay or should I go." (Now I can't get those song lyrics out of my head. Damn.)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waysider
Marriage isn't for everyone nor is child rearing. I know people who have chosen to remain single and are perfectly happy with their choice. Likewise, I know couples who have elected to never have children and have no regrets. The problem with marriages in The Way was that you were expected to function as some sort of sales/tag team, with promotion of PFAL at the heart of your relationship.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ham
One of my best ham friends seemed to have chosen to not have children. Yes, he was married.
I never had a good solid concrete reason to ask him why, or why not..
couldn't have he.. shouldn't have he..
It was pretty much his business I suppose.
He was married over forty years.
he "adopted" a lot of people though..
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ham
I asked this character the Big Question once.. what the hell are we, really.. though that question already burned holes in me. At least the cosmic reply.
and the answer.. we are just entities finding our way through this existence..
the best I can figure.. he died in his sleep.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Bramble
I would have married my husband sooner if we hadn't had all the 'Go Wow, Go Corps Go Here Go There stuff. He had a limb coordinator try to match make him with a single mom wow while we were long distance 'dating.' My area--there were no single Way guys my age!
Finally we just got married, though we had to have a 'plan.' Ours was to run a twig and eventually go family corps(we never did Family Corps).
Seems like most of our pre-marriage counseling was about The Word, Moving the Word--actually about the Way. And my Way wedding started with a big huge advertisement for The Way. Its so obvious now when we see the video.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.