Marriage in TWI

[Kit Sober]

When long out of twi did I met people who were truly in love and had a taste of what marriage should be (except for the exceptional Jane and Howard of Alameda and Ralph and Joanne of Oakland).

Have one ex-twi friend who is still involved in a "marriage" that has hurt both of them for many many years. In my opinion the twisted loyalty mind set and so much [overall c*r*a*p] of twi prevented people from ever forming that deeply rooted bond of affection which I now believe is what should be found in the marriage God has in mind.

When Billy Graham came to Sacramento circa 1995 and Ruth was unable to come due to her sickness and he spoke of her and it was like a piece of him just wasn't there he just loved her so.

There is stuff of a marriage people with cult thinking just can't experience because of the cult's "first place" in the devotee's heart (including those who haven't severed those ties even though they have "left). I never saw what I now believe is a marriage made in heaven in twi.

Amend that: Jane and Howard and Ralph and Joanne just came to mind, but they were married long before twi got a hold of them. That's probably also why they were able to leave in one piece and keep their hold on their abundant life. These precious peole also were the ones who provided a home base to so many because of the foundation of kindness that was in their personal home.

Edited July 19, 2012 by Kit Sober

[chockfull]

The best thing any couple can do for a marriage is to remove TWI from it. They don't belong there anyway.

[waysider]

PFAL.........

"Promotes harmony in the home"

:o

[Thomas Loy Bumgarner]

PFAL.........

"Promotes harmony in the home"

:o

wish that had been true but another slick car sales man pitch

[dabobbada]

PIFFLE

"Promotes harmony in the home"

Actually that is true! :o

Dat's Riight!

BUT,... it must be understood within the chapters and verses,.. and the contexts floating around in the ol' crocs... er, ol' docs noggin. To him, perfect harmony was Mrs. W at home, and him getting his lusts met anyway he could do it elsewhere.

Perfect harmony.

Another example for those who need further explanation:

Craig likes girls...

Donna likes girls...

So she shouldn't mind that he finds it elsewhere.

Perfect harmony.

<_<

Edited July 20, 2012 by dabobbada

[dabobbada]

And all he needed was to abuse the glory of our freedom in Christ to make it happen.

No no no! Don't look at the man... um, dev... ohhh, alllright,... RosyLie, behind the curtain!!!

Edited July 20, 2012 by dabobbada

[krys]

Dabobbada you are so smart. No wonder they made you the profet-ta!.

[dabobbada]

Oh golly gee kris,

Thou great keeper of chocolate covered Yaks and anointed cutter of many a hoary head.

It does dapropheta's heart good to be still worthy of mythic praise.

Thank you.

Let us pour a pint of Guinness,

And raise a toast to THE... er,.. THEE!

:B)

Edited July 22, 2012 by dabobbada

[excathedra]

hi all. since someone brought up children, i once asked THE -- not THE -- THE MAN OF GOD -- if he could recommend any books on raising children. he suggested "Hunt Close" which is a book about raising and disciplining dogs. i wrote about this years ago on here or paul allen's forums.

i remember searching for the spiritual meaning in this book

lol

[Rejoice]

hi all. since someone brought up children, i once asked THE -- not THE -- THE MAN OF GOD -- if he could recommend any books on raising children. he suggested "Hunt Close" which is a book about raising and disciplining dogs. i wrote about this years ago on here or paul allen's forums.

man...was he ever DEPRAVED!!!

[WordWolf]

hi all. since someone brought up children, i once asked THE -- not THE -- THE MAN OF GOD -- if he could recommend any books on raising children. he suggested "Hunt Close" which is a book about raising and disciplining dogs. i wrote about this years ago on here or paul allen's forums.

i remember searching for the spiritual meaning in this book

lol

It came up here, primarily on the thread of the same name, "Hunt Close."

[JA47646]

I was in a rush to get married - had to beat my 30th birthday. I did - by 3 months to someone I really did not know. We have made a life but I might as well have stayed single since that is what this marriage is - and it sucks. He believes a wife was put here on earth to submit and serve and to my eternal shame that's what I did for quite some time. Until I finally grew up, left waybrain behind and started standing up for myself.

The Way left people woefully unprepared for anything but living the Way life. Thank God VP died and woke up people like me.

[waysider]

The Way left people woefully unprepared for anything but living the Way life.

That's the story of my first marriage, in a nutshell.

[Grace Valerie Claire]

On 5/27/2012 at 8:47 PM, waysider said:

The big difference between an arranged marriage, such as in some eastern cultures, and the type of thing TWI promoted, is that The Way marriages were intended to be a vehicle for promoting the organization. My first marriage was of this variety. In our required premarital counseling with one of The Way's ordained ministers, it was made very clear that our first obligation was to function as partners in promoting the organization. If one of the pair deviates in commitment to that goal, it spells disaster for the marriage. In essence, it's a marriage to TWI, not a marriage to each other.

Way, and people wonder why I never got married.

[Grace Valerie Claire]

On 6/27/2012 at 9:05 AM, newlife said:

Belated Happy Birthday Excie! May you have many more and may they be happier each year, full of love and goodness!!!

Marriage...never have been married. When I was in my early 20's wanted to get married and have 12 children.....LOL Got in TWI when I was 25 and was in it for the next 13 years. During that time, the only things I thought about was bible, classes, fellowships.....

After getting out, I had too much stuff of my own that I had to sort out, get help with, just recover my life. By the time that I was starting to feel good about God, my life, and others....I find that I am at an age that I will probably never get married. I grieved that for awhile, but then accepted where I was at in life, and how God had brought me to that point of being reasonably happy.

I think Marriage can be a beautiful thing. But I also know that being single can be a beautiful thing too. I'm content and I try to live each day with some peace and joy. I like my life today!

NL, bingo!  I too was upset for along time, because I never got married.  Now though, I think I am much happier than most of my married friends.  Marriage can be a wonderful institution, but being single can also be wonderful.  For years, I was hurt that so few men from the Ministry, asked me out.  Now though, I am very happy with my life.  I think there was a lot of pressure put on people in TWI, to get married.  A lot of these marriages ended in divorce for a variety of reasons.  If I never get married, that's fine with me.  I don't think marriage is for everyone.

[Grace Valerie Claire]

On 6/28/2012 at 2:13 PM, newlife said:

Well, I will be 63 years old and looking forward to the next 63 years!!!

NL, good for you honey!!  I am 60, and feel that life is just beginning for me!!

[Grace Valerie Claire]

On 6/29/2012 at 9:01 AM, Linda Z said:

Some screw-ups I didn't need twi's help with. I was already divorced before I ever heard of them.

When the twi sh|t hit the twi fan, I was really thankful to be single. It was hard/confusing enough to walk away without having to deal with a spouse who might have wanted to stay "in."

I give a lot of credit to those couples who managed to keep it together, especially those who disagreed on "should I stay or should I go." (Now I can't get those song lyrics out of my head. Damn.)

Linda, I always look forward to your posts!!  They are well-written, and make me think.  I too admire couples who stayed together, in light of should we stay, or should we go. When I left TWI, I left quietly, and never looked back.  It would have been much harder, if I had been married, and/or had kids.

[Grace Valerie Claire]

On 6/29/2012 at 9:49 AM, waysider said:

Marriage isn't for everyone nor is child rearing. I know people who have chosen to remain single and are perfectly happy with their choice. Likewise, I know couples who have elected to never have children and have no regrets. The problem with marriages in The Way was that you were expected to function as some sort of sales/tag team, with promotion of PFAL at the heart of your relationship.

Way, for sure!!!!!  God forbid if you married outside of the Way!!  You were treated like you were a criminal.  In MHO, if you married, you were expected to promote TWI, and to h--l with anything else.  I never understood that position, but then maybe that's why I never took the plunge.

[Grace Valerie Claire]

On 7/19/2012 at 2:19 PM, chockfull said:

The best thing any couple can do for a marriage is to remove TWI from it. They don't belong there anyway.

Chock, yes!!!   Yes, h--l yes!!  TWI definitely does not belong in anyone's marriage; they could screw it up.

[Grace Valerie Claire]

On 7/19/2012 at 9:58 PM, dabobbada said:

PIFFLE

"Promotes harmony in the home"

Actually that is true! :o

Dat's Riight!

BUT,... it must be understood within the chapters and verses,.. and the contexts floating around in the ol' crocs... er, ol' docs noggin. To him, perfect harmony was Mrs. W at home, and him getting his lusts met anyway he could do it elsewhere.

Perfect harmony.

Another example for those who need further explanation:

Craig likes girls...

Donna likes girls...

So she shouldn't mind that he finds it elsewhere.

Perfect harmony.

<_<

Dabo, if you hear someone laughing, it will be me!!  I love your clever post!