I want out.... How do I get out?

[Rejoice]

Gradually cut back on Way activities. If you are single it might be easy enough just to move/find a new job. Screen your calls--you don't have to talk to Way Big Wigs. You don't owe them explanations. Family is much harder, but you can insist on boundaries. None of this is easy but you will find it is not impossible. You deserve to have the right to choose.

I chose to quit speaking in tongues, since it was something I did when I was anxious. I did not see any huge change in quality of life going downhill after quitting all the perfect prayer. It remained life--good days, annoying days, bad days, fun days.

When we finally left the Way--that was when I saw a huge increase in quality of life. Every day was brighter just because I wasn't subjected to all that dreck.

I never saw any difference in quality of life or answers to prayer because of SIT. It obviously didn't work that way for anyone or we would have been saved from TWI much sooner! I often wondered if it were to be merely a sign of rememberance that Pentecost happnened...nothing less and nothing more. A form of 'just checking' if you will.

[chockfull]

Gradually cut back on Way activities. If you are single it might be easy enough just to move/find a new job. Screen your calls--you don't have to talk to Way Big Wigs. You don't owe them explanations. Family is much harder, but you can insist on boundaries. None of this is easy but you will find it is not impossible. You deserve to have the right to choose.

None of our family was in TWI so that gave us a soft place. We moved to be closer to them.

Way doctrine will take time to go away. It could take years.

Do rebellious things. Read books TWI wouldn't like, put an angel statue on your coffee table, let dust accumulate. Sooner or later you'll see all the fear mongering about devil spirits you've been drilled with has no power. That little angel statue has no dark power over your life. You can go to a trinitarian church and not burst into flame.

I chose to quit speaking in tongues, since it was something I did when I was anxious. I did not see any huge change in quality of life going downhill after quitting all the perfect prayer. It remained life--good days, annoying days, bad days, fun days. And that first Christmas we did the whole tree, make ornaments, leave cookies for Santa thing and it was fun!

When we finally left the Way--that was when I saw a huge increase in quality of life. Every day was brighter just because I wasn't subjected to all that dreck. And when you have bad times in life--everyone does-- being out of TWI means no one will reprove you for your believing etc etc.When the bad times come, it is ok to grieve, you don't have to put on the fellowship face.

Find a hobby. Seriously. It will give you something to think about, goals, plans and you could start to make friends of the non instafriend variety., In TWI you didn't really have to make friends, but in real life you will have to, it is not instant. Pets are good, too.

Bramble I really like your advice here. A lot of really great practical tips - love the pets comment. They are healing. Hobbies too - one of the tough things is to put something in the void that is left now that you are not on a hamster wheel of TWI design. Replace the hamster wheel with something personally productive, healing.

I can't stress too much about the instafriend thing. Friends in TWI (with possibly a few exceptions) are based on the organization and your position, status, standing, etc. and are not real. They will cease to talk to you in a heartbeat if it is in their best interest (or if a big TWI leader tells them to). This is also true with change in favor with the leaders even while you are in (all a big leader has to do is tell one lie, then people will shun others within TWI even while they are still there). This didn't impact me as much because even within TWI I ALWAYS developed friends outside of TWI - community, hobbies, profession, etc. So when TWI people chose to stop talking to me, it wasn't as big an impact. If your only friends are in TWI, then leaving can really impact you in that there is absolutely no support system left for you. Family is many times great - those that have known you your whole life will rally if you're hurt.

Just realize after leaving you need to heal. Whether you know it or not. Healing things around you are very helpful.

[OldSkool]

I never saw any difference in quality of life or answers to prayer because of SIT.

Started new thread:

Edited April 16, 2012 by OldSkool

[Twinky]

Pets are good, too.

I didn't leave of my own volition - I got spectacularly M&A'd.

I lost everything. Had long since given up friends, family, career, everything, on the altar of TWI. I knew nobody in the foreign country in which I was now living.

At the core of my being I knew I needed to love. I needed to give. Without any demands being made of me. A pet? A goldfish, maybe? No, would need feeding. A pet spider? Not very satisfying.

A tiny kitten started to visit. It just came. And went. I didn't have to do anything. But it liked to play and had a lot of personality. Never found out who had owned it, but I ended up co-owning with my next-door neighbour, who had been recently widowed.

The kitten was enough. It started my healing. Just by being able to love something.

And to be enjoyed for myself, not anything demanded of me.

There is a thread in the forum In Memoriam entitled Twinkletoes.

Yep. Pets are good. Very good.