The first step is to physically remove yourself...stop going to meetings, stop taking classes, stop giving them money, stop using the off-shoots as a surragate while pretending you've removed yourself.
The next phase is tougher to define. it's really going to depend on the individual. Remember, part of the indoctrination process (session 7 of PFAL) actually instructs people to actively resist anything that would divert their focus away from Way theology.
"what is/are the last steps when you can say I am free..."
Based on recent activity I've witnessed from people on FB and other places, I'm not entirely sure anyone who was fully indoctrinated can ever really say "I am free (from The Way)".
As someone who was raised in twi, here is my advice: get them to GreaseSpot. Let them poke around are lurk and read. At first they will say (like I did) that it is all a trick of the adversary, lies... Then they will rationalize that all this stuff was before the current BOD... Then they will find the deposition where it is evident Rosie KNEW about MULTIPLE "affairs.". That they have been lied to. They might think it was for their own good...
...then they will realize there are NO CONSEQUENCES for being on GreaseSpot - that their leadership is not so connected to God that God instantly tells them everything we do.
We had some fun looking over Rosalie's testimony in the Ron Peeler evidentiary hearing. I bumped it. It's nothing earth and heaven shattering but it goes far to show how quickly she will lie under oath. It only leads one to surmise that she will lie a lot quicker when she is not under oath.
Naten00......first, I would want to understand your unique situation if I were to give counsel. But as a general rule, there are many well-advised steps to take. Of course, if one has family members who've been locked into the twi system for decades, then it becomes more dicey to separate from twi and still keep family bonds.
If possible, I tend to agree with those who advice one to avoid confrontation. If branch leaders or corps want to "meet" with you....simply refuse, and say "I just need some space and will not be attending twi meetings for awhile." If they badger you, REFUSE to allow them the upper hand. You do NOT owe them an explanation. You do NOT need to meet with them privately.
Do not allow them to make you feel defensive. Do not allow them to rile you up. Do not allow twi any further entrance into your life, your heart, or your explanations. With every action YOU take......YOU are setting the precedent, the proper boundaries. They have NO control over your life......unless YOU allow it.
An answering machine AND caller id helps immensely.
At this time, I generally advise people to not try to convince others to follow your exit. Right now, it's YOU that is most important. Your life and example will shine forth to others, perhaps, down the road some day. You do not need to justify what you are doing to other friends and twiers. You might lose several "good friends" in this.....but then, if you do how valuable was that friendship if they don't allow you to make your own decisions and judgements?
Stay strong and do not allow anyone to talk you out of your exit plan. More than likely, you will go thru a vast amount of emotions in the next few months. That's perfectly normal. Some refer to it like grieving over a death. Hopefully, you have several who you can trust during those challenging moments ahead. And, I'm sure that several GSers will be there if you need support. Know that you can pm me with any concerns or questions.....or just support.
In closing, let me say.......fly away and soar on the winds of freedom. :)
if this dear person has a very strong opinion or question on something, i would go to the "top" with it -- it's amazing how you realize they are not who you think they are....
Naten00......first, I would want to understand your unique situation if I were to give counsel. But as a general rule, there are many well-advised steps to take. Of course, if one has family members who've been locked into the twi system for decades, then it becomes more dicey to separate from twi and still keep family bonds.
If possible, I tend to agree with those who advice one to avoid confrontation. If branch leaders or corps want to "meet" with you....simply refuse, and say "I just need some space and will not be attending twi meetings for awhile." If they badger you, REFUSE to allow them the upper hand. You do NOT owe them an explanation. You do NOT need to meet with them privately.
Do not allow them to make you feel defensive. Do not allow them to rile you up. Do not allow twi any further entrance into your life, your heart, or your explanations. With every action YOU take......YOU are setting the precedent, the proper boundaries. They have NO control over your life......unless YOU allow it.
An answering machine AND caller id helps immensely.
At this time, I generally advise people to not try to convince others to follow your exit. Right now, it's YOU that is most important. Your life and example will shine forth to others, perhaps, down the road some day. You do not need to justify what you are doing to other friends and twiers. You might lose several "good friends" in this.....but then, if you do how valuable was that friendship if they don't allow you to make your own decisions and judgements?
Stay strong and do not allow anyone to talk you out of your exit plan. More than likely, you will go thru a vast amount of emotions in the next few months. That's perfectly normal. Some refer to it like grieving over a death. Hopefully, you have several who you can trust during those challenging moments ahead. And, I'm sure that several GSers will be there if you need support. Know that you can pm me with any concerns or questions.....or just support.
In closing, let me say.......fly away and soar on the winds of freedom. :)
Nate00,
I would second all of these thoughts. As someone who was a diehard believer in TWI, it can be very difficult initially. However, this site helped me discover there were others who saw the same things I did and it eventually got easier. Folks here made me feel less alone. The suggestion about new friends is a very good one. New surroundings helped me to get over the feeling of loss when some old friends wouldn't talk to me. You can do it.
as for Anti-Way books, I would suggest Karl Kahler's The Cult that Snapped and Kristen Skedgell's Losing The Way, then visit John Juddes website empire7.net, or google his name, He is pastor at Messiah Lutheran Church Missouri Synod in California., find a qualified psychologist who is familar with cults(the person may or may not be Christian), then if wanting to visit churches visit mainline denominations such as Eastern Orthodox, Roman Catholic, Lutheran, Episcopalian, United Methodist, Presbyterian, etc. If none feel comfortable, then fine. It is whatever is your faith journey.
Just leave. *They* really are not your friends. It's an illusion. Maybe in earlier days they acted like they were..
Might I add.
If you want similar numbnuts, like from certain offshoots to leave you alone, publically adopt a belief in reincarnation, or that the dead are alive, or agree with your local Trinitarian. Or go to a Unitarian Universalist church. They don't care what you believe. Well, within reason I suppose. Maybe join a coven..
When I left, I couldn't believe how I had let people who had no authority over me control me ilke that for all those years. I realized that the prison had been more in my head than anything else. It was like "learned helplessness." Like in the experiment where they put a dog in a pen and shocked him every time he touched the sides to get out. Eventually they took the sides of the pen away and the dog just stayed there.
That was us. Inprisioned by an illusion.
Those people have NO authority over you. Absolutely none. They are crazy people who think you owe them obedience. They have NO right to tell you anything about what you should do or not do. You are free if you want to be. Nothing will happen to you if you leave. They can't touch you. As soon as you get away you'll find out they don't even care that much that you left.
Just leave. *They* really are not your friends. It's an illusion. Maybe in earlier days they acted like they were..
Might I add.
If you want similar numbnuts, like from certain offshoots to leave you alone, publically adopt a belief in reincarnation, or that the dead are alive, or agree with your local Trinitarian. Or go to a Unitarian Universalist church. They don't care what you believe. Well, within reason I suppose. Maybe join a coven..
If you want to see someone get out of the way it means recognizing their hierarchy is unbiblical and can be considered cultish. Help them to replace the Way leadership structure with the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Give them the below link to read.
Gradually cut back on Way activities. If you are single it might be easy enough just to move/find a new job. Screen your calls--you don't have to talk to Way Big Wigs. You don't owe them explanations. Family is much harder, but you can insist on boundaries. None of this is easy but you will find it is not impossible. You deserve to have the right to choose.
None of our family was in TWI so that gave us a soft place. We moved to be closer to them.
Way doctrine will take time to go away. It could take years.
Do rebellious things. Read books TWI wouldn't like, put an angel statue on your coffee table, let dust accumulate. Sooner or later you'll see all the fear mongering about devil spirits you've been drilled with has no power. That little angel statue has no dark power over your life. You can go to a trinitarian church and not burst into flame.
I chose to quit speaking in tongues, since it was something I did when I was anxious. I did not see any huge change in quality of life going downhill after quitting all the perfect prayer. It remained life--good days, annoying days, bad days, fun days. And that first Christmas we did the whole tree, make ornaments, leave cookies for Santa thing and it was fun!
When we finally left the Way--that was when I saw a huge increase in quality of life. Every day was brighter just because I wasn't subjected to all that dreck. And when you have bad times in life--everyone does-- being out of TWI means no one will reprove you for your believing etc etc.When the bad times come, it is ok to grieve, you don't have to put on the fellowship face.
Find a hobby. Seriously. It will give you something to think about, goals, plans and you could start to make friends of the non instafriend variety., In TWI you didn't really have to make friends, but in real life you will have to, it is not instant.Pets are good, too.
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OldSkool
My advice is leave immediately! Or as soon as you can sever ties with "the ministry" where you can take care of yourself and/or your family.
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waysider
The first step is to physically remove yourself...stop going to meetings, stop taking classes, stop giving them money, stop using the off-shoots as a surragate while pretending you've removed yourself.
The next phase is tougher to define. it's really going to depend on the individual. Remember, part of the indoctrination process (session 7 of PFAL) actually instructs people to actively resist anything that would divert their focus away from Way theology.
"what is/are the last steps when you can say I am free..."
Based on recent activity I've witnessed from people on FB and other places, I'm not entirely sure anyone who was fully indoctrinated can ever really say "I am free (from The Way)".
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JavaJane
As someone who was raised in twi, here is my advice: get them to GreaseSpot. Let them poke around are lurk and read. At first they will say (like I did) that it is all a trick of the adversary, lies... Then they will rationalize that all this stuff was before the current BOD... Then they will find the deposition where it is evident Rosie KNEW about MULTIPLE "affairs.". That they have been lied to. They might think it was for their own good...
...then they will realize there are NO CONSEQUENCES for being on GreaseSpot - that their leadership is not so connected to God that God instantly tells them everything we do.
And they keep thinking.
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OldSkool
We had some fun looking over Rosalie's testimony in the Ron Peeler evidentiary hearing. I bumped it. It's nothing earth and heaven shattering but it goes far to show how quickly she will lie under oath. It only leads one to surmise that she will lie a lot quicker when she is not under oath.
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chockfull
1. Get out from under their authority immediately. They have no authority over your life beyond that which you allow.
2. Get new friends.
3. Get a hobby, put more time into career, family, and other things that build your own life personally.
4. Read "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse".
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skyrider
Naten00......first, I would want to understand your unique situation if I were to give counsel. But as a general rule, there are many well-advised steps to take. Of course, if one has family members who've been locked into the twi system for decades, then it becomes more dicey to separate from twi and still keep family bonds.
If possible, I tend to agree with those who advice one to avoid confrontation. If branch leaders or corps want to "meet" with you....simply refuse, and say "I just need some space and will not be attending twi meetings for awhile." If they badger you, REFUSE to allow them the upper hand. You do NOT owe them an explanation. You do NOT need to meet with them privately.
Do not allow them to make you feel defensive. Do not allow them to rile you up. Do not allow twi any further entrance into your life, your heart, or your explanations. With every action YOU take......YOU are setting the precedent, the proper boundaries. They have NO control over your life......unless YOU allow it.
An answering machine AND caller id helps immensely.
At this time, I generally advise people to not try to convince others to follow your exit. Right now, it's YOU that is most important. Your life and example will shine forth to others, perhaps, down the road some day. You do not need to justify what you are doing to other friends and twiers. You might lose several "good friends" in this.....but then, if you do how valuable was that friendship if they don't allow you to make your own decisions and judgements?
Stay strong and do not allow anyone to talk you out of your exit plan. More than likely, you will go thru a vast amount of emotions in the next few months. That's perfectly normal. Some refer to it like grieving over a death. Hopefully, you have several who you can trust during those challenging moments ahead. And, I'm sure that several GSers will be there if you need support. Know that you can pm me with any concerns or questions.....or just support.
In closing, let me say.......fly away and soar on the winds of freedom. :)
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excathedra
i would not recommend any church or cult yet
who wants to get out?
be kind and gentle and logical and pray pray pray
if this dear person has a very strong opinion or question on something, i would go to the "top" with it -- it's amazing how you realize they are not who you think they are....
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JustThinking
Nate00,
I would second all of these thoughts. As someone who was a diehard believer in TWI, it can be very difficult initially. However, this site helped me discover there were others who saw the same things I did and it eventually got easier. Folks here made me feel less alone. The suggestion about new friends is a very good one. New surroundings helped me to get over the feeling of loss when some old friends wouldn't talk to me. You can do it.
JT
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Thomas Loy Bumgarner
as for Anti-Way books, I would suggest Karl Kahler's The Cult that Snapped and Kristen Skedgell's Losing The Way, then visit John Juddes website empire7.net, or google his name, He is pastor at Messiah Lutheran Church Missouri Synod in California., find a qualified psychologist who is familar with cults(the person may or may not be Christian), then if wanting to visit churches visit mainline denominations such as Eastern Orthodox, Roman Catholic, Lutheran, Episcopalian, United Methodist, Presbyterian, etc. If none feel comfortable, then fine. It is whatever is your faith journey.
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excathedra
did anyone mention that book - "the subtle power of spiritual abuse" - that helped a lot of people
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chockfull
Because it never goes out of style....
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Ham
Just leave. *They* really are not your friends. It's an illusion. Maybe in earlier days they acted like they were..
Might I add.
If you want similar numbnuts, like from certain offshoots to leave you alone, publically adopt a belief in reincarnation, or that the dead are alive, or agree with your local Trinitarian. Or go to a Unitarian Universalist church. They don't care what you believe. Well, within reason I suppose. Maybe join a coven..
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JavaJane
Start wearing a cross around your neck. Dye your hair flaming candy apple red.
That's what I did. It felt good.
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waysider
You could tell them you no longer believe in reincarnation.....but you did in a previous life.
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skyrider
You could tell them that you're still searching for answers, searching for power that wierwille never manifested in his life,
searching for the promises as noted in the Book of Acts to come alive.
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outandabout
When I left, I couldn't believe how I had let people who had no authority over me control me ilke that for all those years. I realized that the prison had been more in my head than anything else. It was like "learned helplessness." Like in the experiment where they put a dog in a pen and shocked him every time he touched the sides to get out. Eventually they took the sides of the pen away and the dog just stayed there.
That was us. Inprisioned by an illusion.
Those people have NO authority over you. Absolutely none. They are crazy people who think you owe them obedience. They have NO right to tell you anything about what you should do or not do. You are free if you want to be. Nothing will happen to you if you leave. They can't touch you. As soon as you get away you'll find out they don't even care that much that you left.
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frank123lol
You could say you believe in Santa Claus!!
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waysider
Even worse, you may discover that some of them don't even realize you're gone.
"We sure do love you."
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skyrider
And worse still, some even wanted you gone.......and pray for your demise.
.
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excathedra
thanks outandaboutie :) i know the hell you went thru. you are an amazing gal. love,e
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Mark Sanguinetti
If you want to see someone get out of the way it means recognizing their hierarchy is unbiblical and can be considered cultish. Help them to replace the Way leadership structure with the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Give them the below link to read.
http://www.christianherald.info/lordship-of-jesus-christ-page-1.html
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Ham
God Bless you, friend..
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outandabout
Thanks, Ex. Love your posts.
Ha Ha Good one!
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Bramble
Gradually cut back on Way activities. If you are single it might be easy enough just to move/find a new job. Screen your calls--you don't have to talk to Way Big Wigs. You don't owe them explanations. Family is much harder, but you can insist on boundaries. None of this is easy but you will find it is not impossible. You deserve to have the right to choose.
None of our family was in TWI so that gave us a soft place. We moved to be closer to them.
Way doctrine will take time to go away. It could take years.
Do rebellious things. Read books TWI wouldn't like, put an angel statue on your coffee table, let dust accumulate. Sooner or later you'll see all the fear mongering about devil spirits you've been drilled with has no power. That little angel statue has no dark power over your life. You can go to a trinitarian church and not burst into flame.
I chose to quit speaking in tongues, since it was something I did when I was anxious. I did not see any huge change in quality of life going downhill after quitting all the perfect prayer. It remained life--good days, annoying days, bad days, fun days. And that first Christmas we did the whole tree, make ornaments, leave cookies for Santa thing and it was fun!
When we finally left the Way--that was when I saw a huge increase in quality of life. Every day was brighter just because I wasn't subjected to all that dreck. And when you have bad times in life--everyone does-- being out of TWI means no one will reprove you for your believing etc etc.When the bad times come, it is ok to grieve, you don't have to put on the fellowship face.
Find a hobby. Seriously. It will give you something to think about, goals, plans and you could start to make friends of the non instafriend variety., In TWI you didn't really have to make friends, but in real life you will have to, it is not instant. Pets are good, too.
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