Chickens

[Steve!]

In case you haven't seen this before.........

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Shakespeare: To cross, or not to cross, that is the question.

Frank Sinatra: Why did that crazy old chickie-baby skippa-da-bop-bop cross that kickin' road? I'll tell ya why - she gets a kick outta you!

A Mafioso: Fuhgeddaboutit. No chicken crossed no road, capisce?

Will Rogers: The reports of a chicken crossing a road have been greatly exaggerated.

Chicago Cop: I'll find out why he crossed the &$#%ing road. I'll beat the cr@p out of him until he talks.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

DAN QUAYLE: I believe it's actually spelled c-h-i-c-k-e-n-e.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR., I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain.

GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone old us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes! The chicken crossed the road,

but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

NEIL ARMSTRONG It was one small step for a chicken, one giant leap for chickenkind.

RICHARD M. NIXON I am not a cook.

GEORGE BUSH Read my lips, the chicken will not cross the road.

SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken 98

BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN The chicken. It crossed. It crossed the road. Why did it cross? No one knows. No one. Will ever know.

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Schrodinger: The act of observing the chicken while it was in the roadway was the determinate factor in the crossing. If the chicken had not been observed, it would simultaneously be in the road and on both sides of the road.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

O.J. Simpson: The chicken did not cross the road, and I vow to hunt down whatever creature it was that *did* cross the road.

Hellary Rotten Clinton: It was because a vast, right-wing conspiracy chased him across the road.

Bill Clinton: Does she have a sister?

Accenture Consultant:

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.

Accenture Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Accenture helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

Accenture Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Accenture consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

The meeting was held in a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

Accenture Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

[Zixar]

I can personally verify that Accenture Consultant entry, being one myself. If we could generate a penny of income for every hollow buzzword inserted into a simple press release or corporate memo, Bill Gates would look like he was next in line for food stamps.

Sheesh.