What happened with Wierdwille was the result of him being a self-centered pig. A man who is in a position of authority is not supposed to take advantage of the vulnerabilities of those for whom he is responsible. PERIOD.
Well, you could always ask. Of course, that would send the message to him that you are interested in a dialog. It doesn't sound like you are. I know I wouldn't be.
ExC, what happened to you was not your fault. That responsibility is VPWs. Don't ever stop talking. You help me to remember that what happened to me was also not my fault. :)
In my experience, once I actually mustered the willingness to face my codependence it was very freeing.
Congratulations on beginning to face yours
This person is a d0uch3bag. And they are not catching on.
They have not "faced their codependance", as a major part of any codependence is actually recognizing that whoever is the one causing that problem in your life is the one with the problem, not you. This person attacking someone else who they say is "codependant" and excusing the crimes of the one causing the problem is highly delusional, and is evidence that they are lying when they say they've faced their codependence. Tell them they need to go watch episodes of "Intervention" until they figure out which one of the people in the circle is actually the one with the problem.
Exc, with you, honestly the actions you have taken to call a morally devoid sexual predator for what he was, to stand up for yourself, and to tell your story here and to whoever else you do is firsthand evidence of you having already taken steps to overcome any codependence factors of your past.
I mean, the definition of codependency - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency - includes recognizing that the problem also exists because of a network of enablers. In AA they teach these enablers how to cut off the addict. The greatest group of enablers for VPW and the twofold children of hell that succeeded him were those in leadership around him who did nothing to prevent his actions. Attacking victims is the largest single act of enablement there is.
And TWI has a history of doing that. With Okus Dooface, they sat victims down to "counsel" them and show them that they themselves had a problem "wanting something" out of their sexual relationships with the large forehead. There, TWI was being enablers. They did this largely to prevent victims from suing them, and they succeeded. Many of these victims enjoy the best paid staff positions now, traded in bribery for their silence. That is evil. That is enablement. That is the definition of codependant.
You in direct opposition to those examples are the definition of freedom. Even if j@ck@$$es try to make you feel differently sometimes.
i do try to learn and examine myself and have been for a very long time
this person emailing me about my "waking up" or whatever he said -- i don't need
"COOL"
"NOW YOU'RE CATCHING ON"
what a f'er
what am i catching on to? that it was my fault?
i understand about being vulnerable and about having a past that makes one so
so i'm supposed FOCUS on that when it comes to wierwille ?
--
i had someone tell me once that older men (as in grandfather age) -- because i told them about my grandfather and maybe wierwille (but i don't think i told them about wierwille) -- just have that kind of problem
what the f does that mean?
--
anyway this is silly for me to go on
--
and you know, i still think that someone who is a pastor of a church or of a people does have to behave in a god-like loving manner
You know, after Dorothy looked behind the curtain, she knew The Wizard was a fraud, but, some of these people I see on facebook and whatnot have looked behind the curtain and still refuse to believe what's right there in front of them. It's sad.
BTW....The twister was caused by Dorothy's negative believing
i do try to learn and examine myself and have been for a very long time
what am i catching on to? that it was my fault?
i understand about being vulnerable and about having a past that makes one so
ExC, understanding a past that makes one vulnerable can be useful in protecting yourself in the future. It still doesn't justify or condone someone taking advantage of that vulnerability to hurt you. None of it was your fault. VPW was a pig, plain and simple. You were/are the innocent one in this.
I think that term codependent is so over used and misused...if we are in a relationship...we are probably somewhat codependent. Big deal. Hey, I am comfortable and happy in my codependency.
I hate deliberate cruelty with a passion. I don't ponder or pause, I fight back when it happens to me. I never used to be like this, and I don't know if it's the Christian thing to do or not, but now that's just how I roll. I don't do it often because I'm a nice person (so they tell me!) and it doesn't happen to me often. If someone deliberately makes me feel bad, I simply refuse to be the only one involved who feels bad.
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johniam
quote:
also,
Quote
Socrates: I think you are still blaming God for having "failed you". That's why you don't get results and I do.
that, to me, was a very wayfer like thing to say
--
to me, hurting people is not god like or christ like
i mean,you might hurt someone unintentionally but if you do you (if you're normal) say you are sorry
but to me, sticking up for your dogma, doctrine, etc., has nothing to do with god or our savior
this is my humble opinion
and if telling what happened to me is hurtful to others, like i've been counseled here, it's not because I hurt you
see what i mean? hope you do
ps. norm believes i've hurt him tremendously for that i am sorry
and i'm sorry for others i have hurt here. i really am
My response to this will soon be on the personal soapbox thread. Wouldn't want to be accused of derailing any threads.
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excathedra
the person who said this did write back yesterday
i asked if they meant if they thought injustices toward me made me feel special
they said:
i just wrote back "shut up" -- that was my reaction
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waysider
You let them off too easy.
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excathedra
what happened with wierwille was because i'm co-dependent ?
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waysider
What happened with Wierdwille was the result of him being a self-centered pig. A man who is in a position of authority is not supposed to take advantage of the vulnerabilities of those for whom he is responsible. PERIOD.
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excathedra
i had no idea what he was talking about with pia
i just listened to her on youtube
i've been through the entire john bradshaw series and many more
but anyway enough of this already
this guy i think said he was a sexual addict and got healed, i'm not sure
he did tell me in his email to see his link on the debunking of wierwille, but i didn't go there
he also told me he would tell wierwille adult kids about what happened to me and i told him i didn't care one way or the other
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waysider
I think it was supposed to be a derogatory reference to Kristen. It's a common acronym, referring to someone who is a "pain in the azz".
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excathedra
no, i actually think he was referring to a shrink
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waysider
Well, you could always ask. Of course, that would send the message to him that you are interested in a dialog. It doesn't sound like you are. I know I wouldn't be.
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excathedra
i'm way too tired to deal
i know better than anyone oh never mind
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excathedra
i'm way too tired and fed up
i do get the thing about being sexually abused as a child and being a target and the boundary thing etc. etc.
i just don't buy into that being my fault for wierwille that's all i'm saying
i did have enough sense to realize some things even back then
this guy who is telling me otherwise - f him
goodnight
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waysider
g'night excie
This is what I have to say to this guy.
PPPPFFFFFTTTT!!
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Abigail
ExC, what happened to you was not your fault. That responsibility is VPWs. Don't ever stop talking. You help me to remember that what happened to me was also not my fault. :)
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chockfull
This person is a d0uch3bag. And they are not catching on.
They have not "faced their codependance", as a major part of any codependence is actually recognizing that whoever is the one causing that problem in your life is the one with the problem, not you. This person attacking someone else who they say is "codependant" and excusing the crimes of the one causing the problem is highly delusional, and is evidence that they are lying when they say they've faced their codependence. Tell them they need to go watch episodes of "Intervention" until they figure out which one of the people in the circle is actually the one with the problem.
Exc, with you, honestly the actions you have taken to call a morally devoid sexual predator for what he was, to stand up for yourself, and to tell your story here and to whoever else you do is firsthand evidence of you having already taken steps to overcome any codependence factors of your past.
I mean, the definition of codependency - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency - includes recognizing that the problem also exists because of a network of enablers. In AA they teach these enablers how to cut off the addict. The greatest group of enablers for VPW and the twofold children of hell that succeeded him were those in leadership around him who did nothing to prevent his actions. Attacking victims is the largest single act of enablement there is.
And TWI has a history of doing that. With Okus Dooface, they sat victims down to "counsel" them and show them that they themselves had a problem "wanting something" out of their sexual relationships with the large forehead. There, TWI was being enablers. They did this largely to prevent victims from suing them, and they succeeded. Many of these victims enjoy the best paid staff positions now, traded in bribery for their silence. That is evil. That is enablement. That is the definition of codependant.
You in direct opposition to those examples are the definition of freedom. Even if j@ck@$$es try to make you feel differently sometimes.
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Twinky
Can't add much except that whoever this person is, s/he (he??) still has a lot to learn about compassion and just plain being kind.
Taking pot shots at the messenger (you, Excie) isn't going to help anybody at all.
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excathedra
thank you for responding
i do try to learn and examine myself and have been for a very long time
this person emailing me about my "waking up" or whatever he said -- i don't need
"COOL"
"NOW YOU'RE CATCHING ON"
what a f'er
what am i catching on to? that it was my fault?
i understand about being vulnerable and about having a past that makes one so
so i'm supposed FOCUS on that when it comes to wierwille ?
--
i had someone tell me once that older men (as in grandfather age) -- because i told them about my grandfather and maybe wierwille (but i don't think i told them about wierwille) -- just have that kind of problem
what the f does that mean?
--
anyway this is silly for me to go on
--
and you know, i still think that someone who is a pastor of a church or of a people does have to behave in a god-like loving manner
as far as the grandfathers go, ppppffffttttt
what can i say?
a pervert is a pervert
but don't use god on top of that !!!!!!!
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waysider
You know, after Dorothy looked behind the curtain, she knew The Wizard was a fraud, but, some of these people I see on facebook and whatnot have looked behind the curtain and still refuse to believe what's right there in front of them. It's sad.
BTW....The twister was caused by Dorothy's negative believing
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Ham
I think its the same "get over it" argument. *they* don't give a half a hairy damn about what "gramps" really did.
just roll over, play dead.. or be dead somewhere, so *they* can make a few more bucks off the old man's supposed good name..
so many marks to set up, so many others to plunder..
so little time. So much "opposition"..
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Abigail
ExC, understanding a past that makes one vulnerable can be useful in protecting yourself in the future. It still doesn't justify or condone someone taking advantage of that vulnerability to hurt you. None of it was your fault. VPW was a pig, plain and simple. You were/are the innocent one in this.
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geisha779
I think that term codependent is so over used and misused...if we are in a relationship...we are probably somewhat codependent. Big deal. Hey, I am comfortable and happy in my codependency.
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excathedra
so many terms and stuff -- overused and misused and abused etc lol
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OperaBuff
I hate deliberate cruelty with a passion. I don't ponder or pause, I fight back when it happens to me. I never used to be like this, and I don't know if it's the Christian thing to do or not, but now that's just how I roll. I don't do it often because I'm a nice person (so they tell me!) and it doesn't happen to me often. If someone deliberately makes me feel bad, I simply refuse to be the only one involved who feels bad.
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