Should I attend or not?

[Ham]

now I've spoiled it.. if you DO go, linder or pudgy replacement won't let you near the punch bowl..

[mstar1]

a few milligrams of lsd tossed in the punch might make all the difference at the party...

:biglaugh:

now that would make for an interesting day--Id go myself to see that

[dabobbada]

Hey Catcup, good to see you again.

I go with those who believe it depends on the closeness of your relative and the love bond you have with that individual.

I might suggest you contact them and ask about what the bosses are thinking here. This certainly appears to be a major change from past policies of total exclusion of ex-wafers even to visitations of gravesites.

If you go bring your strongest best friend, present yourself well, stay positive for your relatives weddings sake. As the old saying goes, hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Then it will be hard for the conniving to blindside you

I would go just to see what is going on there these days, from the layout of the land to the mindset of those still inraptured by the dying embers of the Ma Kettle of the way. Maybe they are ready to mend fences and go ecumenical with all the other run offs. <_< (Would such a group be called The United Way?)

Once or twice a month Fox 45 out of Dayton runs a Sunday night tape of a way service. I've watched a few and find them kind of creepy. (I hope I wasn't really like that when I was in.) It is mostly singing and 35 minutes of a sermon. The music was uninspired, the smiles were superglued in place, the pfal level sermons inspired massive doze-offs in my neurons.

A Wedding is a celebration of a deliberate decision by a man and woman to join in Holy Matrimony before God and man. You are there as an invited witness and celebrant to this most major of Holy Vows. That is the reason you should go if you choose to.

If others should make evil of it, their evil will be upon their own heads against the day they stand before the Righteous God.

Catcup, God Bless you and your family.

Love,

Bob

[johniam]

I'd first try to walk with God on the situation. If there's a persistent negative impulse that won't alter or go away, then maybe it's not a good idea, but, as Paw said, either the bride or the groom, after much thought, wants you to be there. At worst, it's extending an olive branch, and it just might be possible that whoever invited you has always respected you and bit their tongue when the conversation was about people who left "God's" ministry, but it's "MY wedding dammit and I want Catcup to be there". Something like that.

If there's people there who knew you, they will probably be just as guarded in what they say to you as you will be to them. No harm no foul. When Jean and I got married both our families were there: my ultra liberal one and her devout Christian Reformed one. From their pov, the same caution may have been in play, but nobody died, it was all good.

If it was me, there would be a point at which I would just make a decision and not look back.

[mstar1]

...LCM was all anti-Christian - "we're not 'Christians' ...

Well ... at least he had that right...

... or as Wierwille would say "Truth on the heel of the devil is still truth".

Ive been saying that since I got out.

Ok back to your thread...

[Catcup]

I know it is a twi, but you were invited by either the bride or groom. It will hopefully be the only wedding that they have in their life. Think about them in your decision. Wedding day is special wherever it is held.

That said, always be carrying a glass of red wine.

I will send you a list of people that you could "accidently" trip and spill it on.

hehhehehehehhe

[oldiesman]

give-em hell Catcup!

Attend the wedding, stand up during the ceremony and object to the union, and storm out

[skyrider]

I go with those who believe it depends on the closeness of your relative and the love bond you have with that individual.

I might suggest you contact them and ask about what the bosses are thinking here. This certainly appears to be a major change from past policies of total exclusion of ex-wafers even to visitations of gravesites.

If you go bring your strongest best friend, present yourself well, stay positive for your relatives weddings sake. As the old saying goes, hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Then it will be hard for the conniving to blindside you

Maybe, its just me......but I seriously doubt that anyone will blindside you. Of course, there may be some glares and smugness from the upper/inner circle....and feigning to "welcome you."

At the end of the day, if you go......you retain and strengthen your relationship with a loved one. Plus, you overcame the temptation of allowing them (ie Rosie's gang) to rob you of this joyous occasion. But, they too, will justify it as a "win situation" knowing that the wedding was on their turf and they held to standards not wanting the ministry to be blamed. No confrontation....no public display of contention....no relinquishing the high ground.

Cunning and conniving twi leadership have been playing this game a long time.

[Shellon]

It's the bride and groom's wedding day and they invited you. To assume it's a ploy by or for twi would indicate 1. they shouldn't be getting married and 2. I don't know, but go, enjoy, celebrate with the new couple and have a freakin' blast.

[skyrider]

It's the bride and groom's wedding day and they invited you. To assume it's a ploy by or for twi would indicate 1. they shouldn't be getting married and 2. I don't know, but go, enjoy, celebrate with the new couple and have a freakin' blast.

Yeah....even to have this conversation

1) ...it's a ploy

2) ...don't get blindsided

3) ...take support with you

......precludes that twi was/is a strange, disruptive, cult-like organization. Un-frikken-believable that, to this day, the "us versus them" mentality comes to the forefront of decision-making.

Even as far back as I can remember of my way days......wierwille instilled this chasm. Heck, inrez corps were WARNED before going home for Christmas to not allow their parents and loved ones to sway them away from the word. And yeah, the DTA class was specific in labeling "others" and "yourself" as FRONTS OF THE ADVERSARY.

Watch out, don't get possessed.....the twi mantra has polarized and poisoned families and relationships. They no longer can control you or manipulate you in any way. They've been unmasked for about 25 years now.

[GeorgeStGeorge]

I suppose it all rests on who they are to you and how much you like them.

Also of lesser importance if it is a very close family relative... will your not going upset the family dynamic.

BUT otherwise if you are close to them and enjoy them, then go and enjoy yourself.

As has been noted don't go alone and maybe have a planned exit strategy and a time frame in mind for when you plan on exiting knowing that you can be flexable

also of note were the betrothed mean to you if so I would boycott the wedding

You See ... CLEAR as mudd

In other words, behave as if it's any other wedding. Go if you want to, bring a gift if you want to, speak to whomever you want to. I haven't been Catholic for decades, but I still go to Catholic weddings, baptisms, funerals, etc., if the people involved are important to me. Heck, I even still stand, sit, and kneel as appropriate, though I don't verbalize creeds I no longer adhere to.

Go and have fun!

George

[chockfull]

Catcup, I'd be highly surprised if you even saw any of the chief vipers around on wedding day. Probably just security with the mall cop friendly induced smile. And the TWI clergy doing the ceremony will probably be wearing a hypocrisy mask but you don't have to talk to them.

Definitely it's the waybot guests that have the larger potential to have less tact. They probably need to go study Mrs. Owens etiquette book for a week before the ceremony and that will still not help them not have the condescending attitude that is taught by example and doctrine from the top down. The higher ups just know how to put on the mask better.

Edited December 23, 2010 by chockfull

[leafytwiglet]

In other words, behave as if it's any other wedding. Go if you want to, bring a gift if you want to, speak to whomever you want to. I haven't been Catholic for decades, but I still go to Catholic weddings, baptisms, funerals, etc., if the people involved are important to me. Heck, I even still stand, sit, and kneel as appropriate, though I don't verbalize creeds I no longer adhere to.

Go and have fun!

George

Exactly.... that's what I was trying to say

and bring some one to talk to... so you can enjoy yourself and not have to talk to anyone you don't want to.

[socks]

Hello catski.

All of the above and then some. I always took the Way's wedding ceremony as beautiful in it's simplicity with room to personalize it. Weddings are for the wedd-ee's, and sharing the event of the vows with their family and friends. It's hard not to have a civil, decent time at a wedding but if anyone can wreck a good thing, it's going to be the Way. Still and all, it can be a good time.

Given the Way's sad trail of tears in regards to marriage vows and the "sanctify" of marriage though - I dunno. Wayfers get married in threesomes - bride, groom and "the ministry". That makes for a crowded bed. It would really depend a lot on who the people were, for me. Course I'm not getting any invitations and don't' expect to soon, so for this go 'round it's probably not going to be an issue.

On face value, all things being equal and more or less about like that - if they were friends, I'd send a card and a gift and wish them well and possibly suggest a dinner together somewhere nice after the honeymoon. I wouldn't grace the place with the imminence of me or my wife's presence.

[dmiller]

Spilling wine is alcohol abuse. ;)

[dabobbada]

Spilling wine is alcohol abuse. ;)

You HAFTA be ex-military

[Catcup]

Spilling wine is alcohol abuse. ;)

LOL! Especially if spilled on the likes of TWI "noteables"!

[mstar1]

You could always follow the gracious example of our illustrious Fada in da Verd---

"So I went down the aisle and I kicked him,-- and you know where---he sat up and looked at me---so I kicked another one...."

Wear the pointy shoes if you go that route

[Catcup]

You could always follow the gracious example of our illustrious Fada in da Verd---

"So I went down the aisle and I kicked him,-- and you know where---he sat up and looked at me---so I kicked another one...."

Wear the pointy shoes if you go that route

ROTFLMAO!

[chockfull]

You could always follow the gracious example of our illustrious Fada in da Verd---

"So I went down the aisle and I kicked him,-- and you know where---he sat up and looked at me---so I kicked another one...."

Wear the pointy shoes if you go that route

+100 for sheer awesomeness.

[mudflaps]

I am sure your relative would love to see you there and has no ulterior motive,but as for some of the other wayfers that would be at the wedding you coming will be looked at as a victory for "God's household",an opportunity for them th show they are a kinder gentler ministry nowadays,which I would not buy into.I'm sure someone will try and sign you up for the class too or look for that "open door".

[pawtucket]

Spilling wine is alcohol abuse. ;)

Not if it is done for the right reasons.

[Jim]

By all means go, but wear a tee shirt that says..

I'm Only Here for the Strohs

[Catcup]

Not if it is done for the right reasons.

Several "surgical strikes" may be in order...

[Sunesis]

I think I would ask myself - how important is this person to me? If not immediate family or someone not terribly close, a gift would be in order.

But, if it is someone important to me, then I would have to go.

If you are important to this person, they will remember the rest of their days that you did not attend. Just like when my sister married her husband at Rome City, and my father, who disliked the Way, did not go. She never forgot. Neither will this person. It will be an unspoken elephant in the room for years - a lifetime.

Maybe someday they will leave TWI. They will remember you were brave enough to enter "enemy territory" to be with them, and, maybe point to a way out - without words. Just by your being there.

Go. You have nothing to fear.

Your presence and love will be remembered the rest of your loved one's days.