Well, I was optimistically hoping lcm was able to be fixed by some help from his friends.
("Iron sharpens iron...")
I figured the old-timers from twi could restore him to full functionality.
(Since almost everything was under news blackout, I had no idea what the underlying problems
were or how pervasive they were in twi.)
So, I figured that vf and some others would chat with lcm, and lcm would settle in.
The next mailer from twi was lcm saying "I fired vf and every leader in your state because
they're carnal and greedy, and serving themselves rather than God."
Now, I had to choose who to believe. vf and the local leaders, or lcm.
the local leaders I had worked with in a few cases, and people I trusted worked with other
local leaders. I'd seen vf teach and he didn't seem off. Therefore, it was unlikely that
some 2-3 dozen of them were ALL carnal, greedy, etc.
lcm, on the other hand, had demonstrated a willingness to yell, and to pontificate on matters
he didn't understand. (He criticized some political strategies as ridiculous- and those
strategies were exactly what the US needed to do at the time, and they benefited us in the long run.)
So, if I HAD to choose one- and lcm was insisting that I HAD to choose one-
the reasonable side had all the locals.
My further exposure to them seemed to support that.
That was 1989. I went to the ROA'89 with the intention of buying out the bookstore, and making
personal observations. lcm's mass firings had resulted in 4/5 of twi leaving, so I had lots of
space to move around and see things. I asked questions. People gave me faulty logic, and in one
case, threats. All of those were quite indicative. The "side" of people staying was the "side"
of people not making sense, relying on intimidation, trying to silence the other side,
emotional appeals, etc.
So, my arrival at ROA'89 was a watershed moment. It FELT nothing like the previous one. It felt empty,
as if it was constructed based on DESCRIPTIONS of previous ROAs. And from what I'd heard, ROA'88
was a pale imitation of the ROAs that had come before. So this was more of a bad photocopy lacking
any toner than a "real" ROA. I met lots of people, made many observations, bought many books,
and said my goodbyes. At the end, when I left, I was thinking of "American Pie" and how the
"Father, Son and Holy Ghost" had "caught the last train to the coast". I had the distinct feeling
that our exit pretty much was a final judgement, and what we left behind was beyond repairing.
(History pretty much proved that correct, if a gross understatement.)
Of course, I was saying goodbye to the organization and the insane top leaders. At the time, I was
still hanging out with the locals. It took a few more years before it was obvious to me that I
was not particularly welcome nor appreciated among the splinter group that had formed.
(I thought for myself too much. When leadership said things that sounded wrong, I didn't just ignore
that-I looked into it, and if error was shown, I spoke up, mostly TO said leadership. I didn't just
BLINDLY go along with them any more than I BLINDLY went along with twi. So, as time progressed,
I found fewer and fewer locals meeting that I felt wanted me around. So, that exit was more of a
slow drift away, and there wasn't a watershed moment of exit. I seriously doubt more than 3 or 4
of them missed me, any way.)
Frankly, the GSC is the most interaction I've had with any ex-twi since then. Even with the
food fights and petty bickering, it's been a LOT more healthy than my twi and splinter experience-
because we actually spoke our minds.
I love that you are that articulate about this event. The PFAL class so divided my life that I used to speak of my life as before and after I took the class. Then, I spoke about before and after the ministry imploded.
I can feel your honesty and heart to do the right thing and the quest to find what the "right thing" was.
They were weird times.
I have SOOOO appreciated you through the years. I respected your posts, thoughts and insight. I will miss you.
Breaking it off with twi was one of the best times in my life. Religion only keeps you locked in the dark! They used to say christianity in not a religion but twi was worse, they were a cult religion.
It seemed to me that lots of people didn't know what to do back when Martindale wrote his "pledge of allegiance to Me" letter. Seemed to me that a lot of people went with the "popular" decision in the areas where they lived. New Yorkers went with Vince, and in my area-DC Metro which means DC, Northern Virginia, and Maryland just outside the Beltway-went with Larry Panarello who went with his Wife who went with Mrs. Owens who stayed with The Way. Panarello had no cojones in my opinion. I was at his "peer level", but was not the Limb guy. I tried to talk some sense into him about how incredibly un-biblical LCM's demands were, but I believe that he went in the direction of his wife's urging.
My wife and I were shocked at the stark reality that what we had committed our entire lives to was crumbling all about us, but, since we had both committed ourselves to "It Is Written", we could see no other way but OUT. And so, I informed Panarello that "as for me and my house, we would endeavor to serve the Lord", and not LCM. And at that, we became instant pariahs. And the daggone branch coordinator even came to my house one day while I was at work and tried to get my wife to leave me so that she "could stand with the Ministry" since I obviously was not going to. She listened to him quietly to make sure she was really hearing what she was hearing, and they she gave it to him with both barrels blazing and threw him out of our house to never return. However, he did come back one day with some of his little minions with a truck to take away our furniture. You see, one of my customers from a drywall job had given us some very nice living room and bedroom furniture. They wanted to give it away, but because they wanted to use this giveaway as a tax write off, they asked if they could "donate it to our ministry", and could they get an official receipt for it? So, I called Howard Allen, with whom I had been on good terms over the years and asked him if I could get an official receipt, to which he happily agreed. He told me to list the items and send the request to some department under his care as Secretary/Treasurer. So, I did, the receipt came promptly, and I gave it to the people who gave me the furniture, and all was well. All was well that is, until we became The Enemy.
So, after it was clear to Panarello, that we weren't going to play along with the whole DC Limb like most everybody else, the BC-one Jamil McGhee-and his underlings came to my house with that truck and demanded that furniture back, and that they had the legal authority to take it because it technically belonged to The Way International. That was the first time I realized how snotty and wicked these drones had become. So, I told him, "Sure, gladly. I don't want it. Not now, and I never want to lay eyes upon it again". So, I began to go into my house to start bringing it out, and they began to follow me into my home. When I realized that they were doing that, I turned and told them under no uncertain terms that they were not to enter my house, nor were they allowed on my property and that they had to wait on the street and that I would bring it out to them on the street. Fortunately my best friend from 7th grade lived with me, my sheetrocking partner of 12 years was home, and we hauled the stuff out to them. He and I both got into The Way together back in 1975. It was humiliating as they looked on us with disdain and supposed "sadness". But I think that really, they were gleefull, because they were "kicking spiritual a$$! Cleansing the Household! A much cooler mission than trying to tell people about our Lord Jesus Christ anyway! Yeah, hurting people is so much more fun than bringing Christ to people! We have now become God's Secret Squirrels!" It was so pathetic...
And so, I and two other married couples (the two husbands were ordained guys like me), and about three single people got together on a regular basis as the "marked and avoided ones". We had some fellowships together, and talked about things now that we were no longer "in", and what the future might hold for us. For awhile, while Martindale was "cleansing" HQ of "vermin" like us, my home became a "Safe House" for international Way Corps members who had been thrown out without a moment's notice and whose student visas instantly became null and void because they were instantly no longer students. I helped them get jobs so they could get their money up to fly back to places like Australia and New Zealand and Greece. We had some fine times, but it was a sad time too, for we all came to love each other throughout that ordeal. I even was the Best Man for one fellow from NZ who married his Corps sister with whom he went through the same troubled time. It was a nice wedding. We sent them up to Harper's Ferry West Virginia for their brief honeymoon.
And while we had this happy house full, with all of us experiencing the first taste of Life after The Way, Panarello called me and pretended to be friendly and asked if he could come by for a visit just to "chat". Also, he asked me "what was new"? And, "I hear you have some guests visiting, that must be so nice! And so, who are they"? I just responded with; "Why don't we cut the bulldang Larry. They are Way Corps people thrown out on their a$$es by Martindale with no place to go. Stay away from me and my house and my friends and don't call back here". And, he stayed away. And eventually, the internationals flew away Home.
We've all gone different ways now. One of those clergy guys owns an exclusive art gallery in Manhattan, and the other clergy guy is involved in an off shoot of The Way, and I went back to Alaska to renew my career as a Merchant Marine. My sheetrocking partner went back to college, got his degree and is now a special education teacher at an elementary school in Virginia.
The closest I have ever come to The Way since then is right here, reading of the things that happened within TWI since I got out. I am sorry for those who stayed. I happen to know that the BC from that area has been out of The Way for some time now. An apology from him? No way. Panarello has not apologized either. But that's okay, we all stayed in for various lengths of time, oblivious to what was happening behind the scenes, making our exits at the time when we finally got things figured out.
So,like you said Dot, we surely had some wonderful friends back in those days, and that was the hard part about leaving. One dear and possibly my very best friend ever, an Irishman, is still in, and that friendship simply disappeared like an ice cube in a frying pan. A real bummer, that...
his is so sad on so many levels... They took your furniture? They bad mouthed you to your wife?
Oh yeah. Gutless weenie. When I came home and learned of it, I was furious. But, they were the losers, not us. And the furniture. Well, I guess I learned my lesson on that one. But what made me mad was that it was me who met the people who wanted to give it to me, not The Way International. But no matter. Once it was "tainted" like that, I never wanted to see any of it again. I mean, it was just "stuff" anyway.
I had missed the confusion surrounding the events of the late 80's because I had left active association with The Way some time in 1983. It was mostly over disagreement with the local LC, and I had it in mind to get back involved in The Way at some point, which I did in late 1990, mainly because I wanted my kids to sit through PFAL.
Landing back in The Way at that time I was required to sit through "The Leadership tapes" aka the "Galatians Tapes" and mostly heard only one side of the story. People I knew and respected stuck with Martindale; the few that I knew who had left were those that I had a low opinion of, so I decided to get back on board with The Way and not go with one of the offshoots, of which there were several "branches" of in Nebraska.
Things gradually got bad in the 90's, but it wasn't until the A<<en lawsuit in 2000 that I started to really examine things. Eventually I came to doubt much of what was taught in The Way and ended up posting on Waydale & GSC while still in. they found out and kicked me out. I didn't look back with any nostalgia or with affection on those still in, because I had lost every ounce of respect for the leaders and the rest of them had demonstrated that they really didn't give a crap about me.
It seemed to me that lots of people didn't know what to do back when Martindale wrote his "pledge of allegiance to Me" letter. Seemed to me that a lot of people went with the "popular" decision in the areas where they lived. New Yorkers went with Vince, and in my area-DC Metro which means DC, Northern Virginia, and Maryland just outside the Beltway-went with Larry Panarello who went with his Wife who went with Mrs. Owens who stayed with The Way. Panarello had no cojones in my opinion. I was at his "peer level", but was not the Limb guy. I tried to talk some sense into him about how incredibly un-biblical LCM's demands were, but I believe that he went in the direction of his wife's urging.
My wife and I were shocked at the stark reality that what we had committed our entire lives to was crumbling all about us, but, since we had both committed ourselves to "It Is Written", we could see no other way but OUT. ...
<snip>
What a long, strange journey it has been. In retrospect, there were many "lines in the sand" drawn by wierwille, geer, martindale, region coordinators, etc. that confronted my conscience and vows to force a decision. Even as early as 1977, 1978, 1979 -- wierwille was making statements and decisions that didn't fit with scripture, nor advance my walking with the Lord, imo.
Some corps left inresidency at the Christmas break......some staff packed their bags after confrontation.......some left in the middle of the night.....and some slowly drifted away by projecting more commitments to career, family, etc. Just seemed like twi was structured to stay on the wierwille-laden tracks and, the further it traveled, this train was taking me toward isolation and a barren wilderness.
When should I jump? When was the best time to get off this "mystery train?" Where was a soft spot to land? Are any of my "friends" going to jump with me? What will we find after jumping as the train chugs away?
One of my neighbors took pfal in the '70s and sat thru the class twice. She also went to the rock of ages that year. She enjoyed her short stint in twi and has fond memories of the people and the things she learned. BUT SHE LEFT TWI and simply moved on with her life. No ripples of emotion, no hesitation, no stress......no problem.
All of us have our stories of exiting twi......and jumping to freedom. :)
With twi, you were either "with them or against them"......either "on the train" or not! Wierwille structured it that way and, in hindsight, I see it as intense indoctrination more than a spiritual movement of "It Is Written" (cough, cough).
Happy Trails.......as I make my journey back to my homeland, my family, my true self, and my Lord.
When should I jump? When was the best time to get off this "mystery train?" Where was a soft spot to land? Are any of my "friends" going to jump with me? What will we find after jumping as the train chugs away?
Boy, oh, boy! How those same thoughts ran through my mind. All the way back in the mid-1970s. And along with those, the possibility that I might be mistaken. How can I go back home to a family I put through "the class' and tell them I might have led them into a snake pit? So what does a good way-fer bot do? Renew my mind (shudder) and learn to dismiss the obvious. Then feel guilty about using personal commitments as an excuse to slip out the back door. Until I came here and saw that my gut instinct was right, all those years ago.
Some corps left inresidency at the Christmas break......some staff packed their bags after confrontation.......some left in the middle of the night.....and some slowly drifted away by projecting more commitments to career, family, etc. Just seemed like twi was structured to stay on the wierwille-laden tracks and, the further it traveled, this train was taking me toward isolation and a barren wilderness.
When should I jump? When was the best time to get off this "mystery train?" Where was a soft spot to land? Are any of my "friends" going to jump with me? What will we find after jumping as the train chugs away?
Skyrider:
This was almost lyrical in its delivery and choice of well placed very descriptive words... It should be a forward on a book or an epitaph read at the final end of TWI. It makes me remember a song which may or may not fit your hearts expression, but it is with this, I give you a hug and a well wish,
"as I make my journey back to my homeland, my family, my true self, and my Lord."
Breaking up with the Way was never a problem for me...It's true that there were many fine people in whom I cared for...and it was sad to say goodbye and go my own way...but as far as it goes, leaving twi was actually quite gratifying for me...
Both Wierwille and Martindale were abusive phonies from the get go...Their betrayal of God's people was beyond despicable. Wierwille was a con man and Martindale was an egotistical buffoon...they LIED IN GOD'S NAME!...and they did it for their own personal lust for power, money, and sex. I cannot "brush that aside"...I don't the need to forgive them anymore than I feel a need to forgive Jeffrey Dahmer or Charles Manson.
I have been pleased to expound on twi's corruption these many years at GSC...and before that at Waydale and trancechat...My hopes are that some folks might have been "enlightened" by my words...to the end that they see more clearly what actually happened during those years...
...and of course, in the process, I have met many fine people here whose friendship I value...As I take Dot Matrix by the hand and walk away from the cafe for the last time...as I watch them board up the windows and lock the front door for the last time...I will have a tear in my eye.
For me, leaving this place is much harder than when I "broke up with the Way"...I wish the best for all of you...health, prosperity and love...and don't forget:
"Let it be known there is a fountain that was not made by the hands of men" -Robert Hunter
You know it is your intensity, kindness and insight that has me sit waiting for your next word ~ I love you Groucho!
"...and of course, in the process, I have met many fine people here whose friendship I value...As I take Dot Matrix by the hand and walk away from the cafe for the last time...as I watch them board up the windows and lock the front door for the last time...I will have a tear in my eye.
For me, leaving this place is much harder than when I "broke up with the Way"...I wish the best for all of you...health, prosperity and love...and don't forget:
"Let it be known there is a fountain that was not made by the hands of men" -Robert Hunter"
And it is more difficult leaving here, as it was less pocked by the administering of disease, although some tried, and was all about "healing", finding old friends and sharing the truth...
When should I jump? When was the best time to get off this "mystery train?" Where was a soft spot to land? Are any of my "friends" going to jump with me? What will we find after jumping as the train chugs away?
Boy, oh, boy! How those same thoughts ran through my mind. All the way back in the mid-1970s. And along with those, the possibility that I might be mistaken. How can I go back home to a family I put through "the class' and tell them I might have led them into a snake pit? So what does a good way-fer bot do? Renew my mind (shudder) and learn to dismiss the obvious. Then feel guilty about using personal commitments as an excuse to slip out the back door. Until I came here and saw that my gut instinct was right, all those years ago.
Yeah.....and many more nagging thoughts that were running through my mind.
What if I stay on this train till the end? What then? What's at the end? What will another 20 years of "commitment to twi" accomplish? What will I have accomplished except being just a willing passenger on a mystery train ride? What about my parents and family and loved ones? Does my blind allegiance to twi dictate me to turn my back on scripture to love others? How can this ride possibly be God's will when it violates my conscience and isolates my soul?
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WordWolf
Well, I was optimistically hoping lcm was able to be fixed by some help from his friends.
("Iron sharpens iron...")
I figured the old-timers from twi could restore him to full functionality.
(Since almost everything was under news blackout, I had no idea what the underlying problems
were or how pervasive they were in twi.)
So, I figured that vf and some others would chat with lcm, and lcm would settle in.
The next mailer from twi was lcm saying "I fired vf and every leader in your state because
they're carnal and greedy, and serving themselves rather than God."
Now, I had to choose who to believe. vf and the local leaders, or lcm.
the local leaders I had worked with in a few cases, and people I trusted worked with other
local leaders. I'd seen vf teach and he didn't seem off. Therefore, it was unlikely that
some 2-3 dozen of them were ALL carnal, greedy, etc.
lcm, on the other hand, had demonstrated a willingness to yell, and to pontificate on matters
he didn't understand. (He criticized some political strategies as ridiculous- and those
strategies were exactly what the US needed to do at the time, and they benefited us in the long run.)
So, if I HAD to choose one- and lcm was insisting that I HAD to choose one-
the reasonable side had all the locals.
My further exposure to them seemed to support that.
That was 1989. I went to the ROA'89 with the intention of buying out the bookstore, and making
personal observations. lcm's mass firings had resulted in 4/5 of twi leaving, so I had lots of
space to move around and see things. I asked questions. People gave me faulty logic, and in one
case, threats. All of those were quite indicative. The "side" of people staying was the "side"
of people not making sense, relying on intimidation, trying to silence the other side,
emotional appeals, etc.
So, my arrival at ROA'89 was a watershed moment. It FELT nothing like the previous one. It felt empty,
as if it was constructed based on DESCRIPTIONS of previous ROAs. And from what I'd heard, ROA'88
was a pale imitation of the ROAs that had come before. So this was more of a bad photocopy lacking
any toner than a "real" ROA. I met lots of people, made many observations, bought many books,
and said my goodbyes. At the end, when I left, I was thinking of "American Pie" and how the
"Father, Son and Holy Ghost" had "caught the last train to the coast". I had the distinct feeling
that our exit pretty much was a final judgement, and what we left behind was beyond repairing.
(History pretty much proved that correct, if a gross understatement.)
Of course, I was saying goodbye to the organization and the insane top leaders. At the time, I was
still hanging out with the locals. It took a few more years before it was obvious to me that I
was not particularly welcome nor appreciated among the splinter group that had formed.
(I thought for myself too much. When leadership said things that sounded wrong, I didn't just ignore
that-I looked into it, and if error was shown, I spoke up, mostly TO said leadership. I didn't just
BLINDLY go along with them any more than I BLINDLY went along with twi. So, as time progressed,
I found fewer and fewer locals meeting that I felt wanted me around. So, that exit was more of a
slow drift away, and there wasn't a watershed moment of exit. I seriously doubt more than 3 or 4
of them missed me, any way.)
Frankly, the GSC is the most interaction I've had with any ex-twi since then. Even with the
food fights and petty bickering, it's been a LOT more healthy than my twi and splinter experience-
because we actually spoke our minds.
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Dot Matrix
I love that you are that articulate about this event. The PFAL class so divided my life that I used to speak of my life as before and after I took the class. Then, I spoke about before and after the ministry imploded.
I can feel your honesty and heart to do the right thing and the quest to find what the "right thing" was.
They were weird times.
I have SOOOO appreciated you through the years. I respected your posts, thoughts and insight. I will miss you.
((((WW))))
For you, cause it was your ministry break-up song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l6RlWes3QM&feature=related
Edited to put in a better copy of the song...
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WordWolf
I hope you come along in some form or another, as we move house.
Looks like a Facebook group and a new website, possibly with a messageboard are imminent.
At least, that's what I HOPE is coming up.
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Human without the bean
Breaking it off with twi was one of the best times in my life. Religion only keeps you locked in the dark! They used to say christianity in not a religion but twi was worse, they were a cult religion.
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waysider
We skipped the light fandango
Turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
But the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
As the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
The waiter brought a tray
And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale
She said: "There is no reason
And the truth is plain to see."
But I wandered through my playing cards
And would not let her be
One of sixteen vestal virgins
Who were leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
They might have just as well been closed
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Dot Matrix
Waysider:
That is a great ministry break-up song!
Who were leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
They might have just as well been closed
Human... I hear you.
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ClayJay
It seemed to me that lots of people didn't know what to do back when Martindale wrote his "pledge of allegiance to Me" letter. Seemed to me that a lot of people went with the "popular" decision in the areas where they lived. New Yorkers went with Vince, and in my area-DC Metro which means DC, Northern Virginia, and Maryland just outside the Beltway-went with Larry Panarello who went with his Wife who went with Mrs. Owens who stayed with The Way. Panarello had no cojones in my opinion. I was at his "peer level", but was not the Limb guy. I tried to talk some sense into him about how incredibly un-biblical LCM's demands were, but I believe that he went in the direction of his wife's urging.
My wife and I were shocked at the stark reality that what we had committed our entire lives to was crumbling all about us, but, since we had both committed ourselves to "It Is Written", we could see no other way but OUT. And so, I informed Panarello that "as for me and my house, we would endeavor to serve the Lord", and not LCM. And at that, we became instant pariahs. And the daggone branch coordinator even came to my house one day while I was at work and tried to get my wife to leave me so that she "could stand with the Ministry" since I obviously was not going to. She listened to him quietly to make sure she was really hearing what she was hearing, and they she gave it to him with both barrels blazing and threw him out of our house to never return. However, he did come back one day with some of his little minions with a truck to take away our furniture. You see, one of my customers from a drywall job had given us some very nice living room and bedroom furniture. They wanted to give it away, but because they wanted to use this giveaway as a tax write off, they asked if they could "donate it to our ministry", and could they get an official receipt for it? So, I called Howard Allen, with whom I had been on good terms over the years and asked him if I could get an official receipt, to which he happily agreed. He told me to list the items and send the request to some department under his care as Secretary/Treasurer. So, I did, the receipt came promptly, and I gave it to the people who gave me the furniture, and all was well. All was well that is, until we became The Enemy.
So, after it was clear to Panarello, that we weren't going to play along with the whole DC Limb like most everybody else, the BC-one Jamil McGhee-and his underlings came to my house with that truck and demanded that furniture back, and that they had the legal authority to take it because it technically belonged to The Way International. That was the first time I realized how snotty and wicked these drones had become. So, I told him, "Sure, gladly. I don't want it. Not now, and I never want to lay eyes upon it again". So, I began to go into my house to start bringing it out, and they began to follow me into my home. When I realized that they were doing that, I turned and told them under no uncertain terms that they were not to enter my house, nor were they allowed on my property and that they had to wait on the street and that I would bring it out to them on the street. Fortunately my best friend from 7th grade lived with me, my sheetrocking partner of 12 years was home, and we hauled the stuff out to them. He and I both got into The Way together back in 1975. It was humiliating as they looked on us with disdain and supposed "sadness". But I think that really, they were gleefull, because they were "kicking spiritual a$$! Cleansing the Household! A much cooler mission than trying to tell people about our Lord Jesus Christ anyway! Yeah, hurting people is so much more fun than bringing Christ to people! We have now become God's Secret Squirrels!" It was so pathetic...
And so, I and two other married couples (the two husbands were ordained guys like me), and about three single people got together on a regular basis as the "marked and avoided ones". We had some fellowships together, and talked about things now that we were no longer "in", and what the future might hold for us. For awhile, while Martindale was "cleansing" HQ of "vermin" like us, my home became a "Safe House" for international Way Corps members who had been thrown out without a moment's notice and whose student visas instantly became null and void because they were instantly no longer students. I helped them get jobs so they could get their money up to fly back to places like Australia and New Zealand and Greece. We had some fine times, but it was a sad time too, for we all came to love each other throughout that ordeal. I even was the Best Man for one fellow from NZ who married his Corps sister with whom he went through the same troubled time. It was a nice wedding. We sent them up to Harper's Ferry West Virginia for their brief honeymoon.
And while we had this happy house full, with all of us experiencing the first taste of Life after The Way, Panarello called me and pretended to be friendly and asked if he could come by for a visit just to "chat". Also, he asked me "what was new"? And, "I hear you have some guests visiting, that must be so nice! And so, who are they"? I just responded with; "Why don't we cut the bulldang Larry. They are Way Corps people thrown out on their a$$es by Martindale with no place to go. Stay away from me and my house and my friends and don't call back here". And, he stayed away. And eventually, the internationals flew away Home.
We've all gone different ways now. One of those clergy guys owns an exclusive art gallery in Manhattan, and the other clergy guy is involved in an off shoot of The Way, and I went back to Alaska to renew my career as a Merchant Marine. My sheetrocking partner went back to college, got his degree and is now a special education teacher at an elementary school in Virginia.
The closest I have ever come to The Way since then is right here, reading of the things that happened within TWI since I got out. I am sorry for those who stayed. I happen to know that the BC from that area has been out of The Way for some time now. An apology from him? No way. Panarello has not apologized either. But that's okay, we all stayed in for various lengths of time, oblivious to what was happening behind the scenes, making our exits at the time when we finally got things figured out.
So,like you said Dot, we surely had some wonderful friends back in those days, and that was the hard part about leaving. One dear and possibly my very best friend ever, an Irishman, is still in, and that friendship simply disappeared like an ice cube in a frying pan. A real bummer, that...
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Dot Matrix
ClayJay ~
This is so sad on so many levels... They took your furniture? They bad mouthed you to your wife?
On and on it goes....
heartbreaking...
Word Wolf ~ I hope to catch up with you as well. They have a GSC started on facebook but it is with one's real name..
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ClayJay
T
Oh yeah. Gutless weenie. When I came home and learned of it, I was furious. But, they were the losers, not us. And the furniture. Well, I guess I learned my lesson on that one. But what made me mad was that it was me who met the people who wanted to give it to me, not The Way International. But no matter. Once it was "tainted" like that, I never wanted to see any of it again. I mean, it was just "stuff" anyway.
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penworks
I feel as if I've missed some kind of announcement about "as we move house." Please enlighten me.
Thanks,
Pen
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waysider
Greasespot is closing in about 6 weeks.
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penworks
Thanks. I just found Paw's announcement. Too bad. It's an invaluable source for "the other side of the story."
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Oakspear
I had missed the confusion surrounding the events of the late 80's because I had left active association with The Way some time in 1983. It was mostly over disagreement with the local LC, and I had it in mind to get back involved in The Way at some point, which I did in late 1990, mainly because I wanted my kids to sit through PFAL.
Landing back in The Way at that time I was required to sit through "The Leadership tapes" aka the "Galatians Tapes" and mostly heard only one side of the story. People I knew and respected stuck with Martindale; the few that I knew who had left were those that I had a low opinion of, so I decided to get back on board with The Way and not go with one of the offshoots, of which there were several "branches" of in Nebraska.
Things gradually got bad in the 90's, but it wasn't until the A<<en lawsuit in 2000 that I started to really examine things. Eventually I came to doubt much of what was taught in The Way and ended up posting on Waydale & GSC while still in. they found out and kicked me out. I didn't look back with any nostalgia or with affection on those still in, because I had lost every ounce of respect for the leaders and the rest of them had demonstrated that they really didn't give a crap about me.
It will be 10 years next Fall.
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Dot Matrix
(((oak)))
This might be an appropriate thingy for you dear Oak to represent your break-up ~:
Perhaps Human without the Bean as well....
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skyrider
What a long, strange journey it has been. In retrospect, there were many "lines in the sand" drawn by wierwille, geer, martindale, region coordinators, etc. that confronted my conscience and vows to force a decision. Even as early as 1977, 1978, 1979 -- wierwille was making statements and decisions that didn't fit with scripture, nor advance my walking with the Lord, imo.
Some corps left inresidency at the Christmas break......some staff packed their bags after confrontation.......some left in the middle of the night.....and some slowly drifted away by projecting more commitments to career, family, etc. Just seemed like twi was structured to stay on the wierwille-laden tracks and, the further it traveled, this train was taking me toward isolation and a barren wilderness.
When should I jump? When was the best time to get off this "mystery train?" Where was a soft spot to land? Are any of my "friends" going to jump with me? What will we find after jumping as the train chugs away?
One of my neighbors took pfal in the '70s and sat thru the class twice. She also went to the rock of ages that year. She enjoyed her short stint in twi and has fond memories of the people and the things she learned. BUT SHE LEFT TWI and simply moved on with her life. No ripples of emotion, no hesitation, no stress......no problem.
All of us have our stories of exiting twi......and jumping to freedom. :)
With twi, you were either "with them or against them"......either "on the train" or not! Wierwille structured it that way and, in hindsight, I see it as intense indoctrination more than a spiritual movement of "It Is Written" (cough, cough).
Happy Trails.......as I make my journey back to my homeland, my family, my true self, and my Lord.
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johniam
quote: We have now become God's Secret Squirrels!"
But...I wanted to be one of God's Morocco Moles.
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waysider
When should I jump? When was the best time to get off this "mystery train?" Where was a soft spot to land? Are any of my "friends" going to jump with me? What will we find after jumping as the train chugs away?
Boy, oh, boy! How those same thoughts ran through my mind. All the way back in the mid-1970s. And along with those, the possibility that I might be mistaken. How can I go back home to a family I put through "the class' and tell them I might have led them into a snake pit? So what does a good way-fer bot do? Renew my mind (shudder) and learn to dismiss the obvious. Then feel guilty about using personal commitments as an excuse to slip out the back door. Until I came here and saw that my gut instinct was right, all those years ago.
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Dot Matrix
Skyrider:
This was almost lyrical in its delivery and choice of well placed very descriptive words... It should be a forward on a book or an epitaph read at the final end of TWI. It makes me remember a song which may or may not fit your hearts expression, but it is with this, I give you a hug and a well wish,
"as I make my journey back to my homeland, my family, my true self, and my Lord."
(((Skyrider))) I shall miss you...
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GrouchoMarxJr
Breaking up with the Way was never a problem for me...It's true that there were many fine people in whom I cared for...and it was sad to say goodbye and go my own way...but as far as it goes, leaving twi was actually quite gratifying for me...
Both Wierwille and Martindale were abusive phonies from the get go...Their betrayal of God's people was beyond despicable. Wierwille was a con man and Martindale was an egotistical buffoon...they LIED IN GOD'S NAME!...and they did it for their own personal lust for power, money, and sex. I cannot "brush that aside"...I don't the need to forgive them anymore than I feel a need to forgive Jeffrey Dahmer or Charles Manson.
I have been pleased to expound on twi's corruption these many years at GSC...and before that at Waydale and trancechat...My hopes are that some folks might have been "enlightened" by my words...to the end that they see more clearly what actually happened during those years...
...and of course, in the process, I have met many fine people here whose friendship I value...As I take Dot Matrix by the hand and walk away from the cafe for the last time...as I watch them board up the windows and lock the front door for the last time...I will have a tear in my eye.
For me, leaving this place is much harder than when I "broke up with the Way"...I wish the best for all of you...health, prosperity and love...and don't forget:
"Let it be known there is a fountain that was not made by the hands of men" -Robert Hunter
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Dot Matrix
You know it is your intensity, kindness and insight that has me sit waiting for your next word ~ I love you Groucho!
And it is more difficult leaving here, as it was less pocked by the administering of disease, although some tried, and was all about "healing", finding old friends and sharing the truth...
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WordWolf
I know. I spelled my first name "Word" and my last name "Wolf" and signed up. :)
I had that name years before I arrived at the GSC ezboard and it's as "real" for me as any other.
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Dot Matrix
:) I will go look for you!
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skyrider
Yeah.....and many more nagging thoughts that were running through my mind.
What if I stay on this train till the end? What then? What's at the end? What will another 20 years of "commitment to twi" accomplish? What will I have accomplished except being just a willing passenger on a mystery train ride? What about my parents and family and loved ones? Does my blind allegiance to twi dictate me to turn my back on scripture to love others? How can this ride possibly be God's will when it violates my conscience and isolates my soul?
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Dot Matrix
Word Wolf
Apparently, there are many in your pack who have decided to use your name. I do not know which is you! Just facebook me ~ Paula Reagan thanks
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