Physics jokes

[GeorgeStGeorge]

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."

Helium doesn't react.

Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who asks:

"Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I am."

A superconductor walks into a bar.

The bartender says "We don't serve superconductors here."

The superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

A Higgs boson walks into a church.

The priest says "Bosons aren't allowed in here."

The Higgs boson says "but without me, how can you have mass?"

Wanted: Schrodinger's cat. Dead and alive.

f(x) walks in to a bar.

The bartender says "sorry, we don't cater for functions."

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer.

He asks the bartender how much.

"For you, no charge."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first orders a beer.

The second orders half of a beer.

The third orders a quarter of a beer.

The fourth orders an eighth of a beer.

The bartender rolls his eyes and pours two beers.

George

[Sushi]

Why did the cat fall off the roof?

Because it lost its 'mu'.

Edited November 21, 2010 by Sushi

[waysider]

Flawed physics:

πr2

(Any fool knows pie are round.)

[Abigail]

Flawed physics:

πr2

(Any fool knows pie are round.)

Yes, but poptarts r²

[waysider]

Yes, but poptarts r²

And mighty tasty, too.

[Gen-2]

...

[Ham]

The last physics professor I had.. he described some people being lost somewhere, on the Amperian loop..

Its out there, somewhere..

[waysider]

My old girlfriend, Flo, used to really get a charge out of that stuff.

[Bolshevik]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spherical_cow