Finding Nemo, finding way ministry lies

[What About It]

I was watching Finding Nemo with my toddler son, the part where Marlin, Nemo's daddy, is frantically swimming through the ocean in a feeble and failed attempt to catch up to the boat that just whisked away with Nemo on board. For those of you who aren't caught up in Disney's latest movies, what happened is that Nemo swam too far away from "the edge," where all the fish knew it was safe to swim up to but not past. Marlin had warned Nemo to stop at the edge, but Nemo wanted to prove something, and so he swam on and got caught by a diver before Marlin could stop him.

So I'm thinking, I could teach my son that Nemo got caught because he disobeyed his daddy. And then I think, WTF? That ain't why Nemo got caught. That's another old Way Ministry effin' lie that that nasty cult taught me. They would always teach that bad things happened because of disobedience: if an accident happened, they'd inevitably trace it back to disobedience; if someone got hurt or killed, disobedience. Now, I understand that disobedience and an accident might be related--but as far as disobedience being the cause, that's stretching the truth in a cultish sort of way. Now why would a "Christian ministry" founded by a perverted rapist-liar do something like that? To keep people trapped in fear of disobeying leadership in the way ministry? To keep people innies rather than outies, thus keeping the money innie and not outie? To keep getting sex from the same people that give you money?

In Finding Nemo, Nemo got caught by a diver because he swam where divers are, not because he disobeyed Daddy. Marlin had warned Nemo not to swim there because he knew it wasn't safe. But disobedience is not the reason Nemo got caught. He was swimming where divers are. That's why.

When I was in The Way, I was convinced that any serious childhood accident I was in was because I had disobeyed. Once I was jumping on the neighbor's trampoline, which my parents had told us not to do. I ended up twisting my ankle so bad that I was in a cast for 2 weeks. But I was injured because I didn't land right, not because I disobeyed. I also broke my arm when my sister pushed me off her skateboard that I had just stolen from her. I broke my arm because I went flying through the air and landed on my hand on a concrete driveway, not because I effin' disobeyed some unwritten parental rule that thou shalt not steal thy sister's skateboard.

What are your stories of the "light" coming on after you got out?

[waysider]

I guess the biggest light that came on for me was when I finally accepted that the "law of believing" was a bunch of nonsense. It's embarrassing to think of some of the things I tried to fix with believing. Hey! Got a marriage that's going down the tubes? No problem. Just speak in tongues and believe. Counseling is for spiritual weaklings. Got a job that puts you into unsafe/unhealthy situations? No problem. Just speak in tongues and believe. Protective gear is just another way of making a negative confession that something bad could happen. Reminds me of the time I saw a guy banging his head against the wall. I asked him why he was doing it. He said because it feels so good to stop.

[Tzaia]

I think you're over-thinking things. Apparently someone had figured out that one could go just so far and therefore avoid being caught. Nemo decided to test that limit and he found out (the hard way) that it was true. Do we need to find out everything the hard way? I hope not.

[excathedra]

um kind of read nemo but i have no attention span

i raise (still raising) a child when i was gone from the way

unconditional love but of course explaining certain things that happen when you're an azz (i'm just saying that now because he's 16)

you know? you just have to do it with love, not fear, but not letting them do whatever the hell they want, which my kid wants to do

i think love and discipline are great things

i've learned a lot of things the hard way, but it's mostly because i've been too lenient

and kids just beg for structure and boundaries and i think it's because they need their parents' protection from this crazy world

if this didn't make sense, i apologize

i'm not a great speaker lol

[excathedra]

--

sorry, i never answered the question

the light comes on for me all the time -- a lot of times after i did it the wrong way -- but then i go back and try again

god help me -- well he does