Skyrider - I was just thinking about this the other day. I was thinking how when involved in twi, I'd go to places near HQ and people would identify me as a person with The Way. I was more than just that. Just like I'm more than just a spouse or parent.
I am a person with many different responsibilities and likes/dislikes and what I do or did or was involved with shouldn't and doesn't define me.
I don't have a bitterness toward the twi or even the "friends" that so quickly and rudely dropped me. I look at my involvement as a part of my life. I enjoy coming to GSC to get more understanding of what I learned and saw. I learned quickly not to say things while involved so now I can say them and find out I'm not the only one.
My family has moved on and we are happier than ever. My spouse and I talk through things so we can get a better understanding but don't feel as though we need to 100% agree anymore. We are our own people.
I kind of got off the subject a bit. Great topic skyrider! As OldSkool said, "Amen."
Twi does want to define who you are. They invent things to keep their people busy enough not to have time to figure that their lives are being manipulated and controlled. Thank God they no longer have us in their "grip".
Twi wants to DEFINE 'you'.......in a COLLECTIVE 'we' unit.
All their defining terms come in plural forms.....
1) Stand with the ministry that taught you the word
2) The Zion of God
3) The true household
4) The faithful remnant
Notice, how even in the last 15 years or so.....twi has moved away from 'Christ-in-YOU' as well. All their terminology is geared to 'it takes a village' mentality. The power structure has a place for you to serve.....and its at the base of the pyramid.
My family has moved on and we are happier than ever. My spouse and I talk through things so we can get a better understanding but don't feel as though we need to 100% agree anymore. We are our own people.
I never bought the head of the household malarkey. My husband and I are equal partners in our relationship. I like that arrangement much better!
I do try to boss my husband around once in awhile because that's just my nature! Usually it's with driving. I tell him "Hey turn down this road." He keeps going straight. I ask "Did you hear me???" He responds: "I did. I'm not doing it." Then I can't help but laugh. I love my husband!
For the majority of my life I was defined by TWI because it was my identity. I was involved for over 20 years, from my tweens until my mid thirties... So, for me, I am now finally NOT defining myself by the twi deception. I first started posting here because I needed help, a LOT of help, to overcome twi's influence during those formative years of my life. Am I bitter? Sometimes. When I ask my husband to pray and he says he has had enough of praying, and when I sit in church and have what I know might be a hardness of heart against anyone in a position of authority within a religious organization simply because all of them are suspect of the same things twi leadership did to me and my family. And sometimes when I think about my brother who was thrown out of the house at the age of 16 and who ended up addicted to drugs, an alcoholic, and just got out of prison AGAIN... And when I think about the distance between my family members - not just physican distance, but an emotional distance caused by a lack of trust due to twi... And when I look back and realize I was capable of abandoning all of them, that I walked away and turned my back on those closest to me based on a LIE told by twi....
Yeah, I get bitter.
But other than that, I am over it... I think. Maybe... Probably not...
I talked with someone recently that I hadn't spoken to in years who was involved in twi - he said it took him as long to recover as it took him to be involved. I said, "GREAT. I still have like 17+ years to go!!!"
As far as "defining myself", for me that process has just started. I was raised in twi, and since experiences mold the person, I am in a way, "defined" by these experiences. BUT, I got out. I am raising a child WITHOUT twi. I have a successful marriage WITHOUT twi. I have a relationship with God WITHOUT twi. I have hobbies, and friends WITHOUT twi. And my family relationships are being REDEFINED WITHOUT twi.
And these are good things. Maybe at some point I will grow to the point that I no longer think about their deception, but that point may never completely come.
So, if I seem bitter, be patient. I went through hell. I hurt people. I was hurt. I know I am capable of being both the abused and the abuser. Oh well... I'm happier now.
(And I don't mean to say the rest of you are being hard on people like me, I applaud your mental state and who you have become. Your kind has helped me immensely!!!!!!)
Don't be concerned about how quickly you "get over it". There are some things which are harder to get over. I've been out for 7 1/2 years. I'm over most of it for the mostpart. There are a few things which p!$$ me off from time to time when I think about it, but that's human. Everyone does get over it within their own time. If you are wacked out crazy after a few years, then I'd suggest therapy. That's the beauty of realizing you really aren't a waybot.
I've been here more in the last few than I've been here in a long time. It's only because these new, interesting people popped up. Plus I believe in the outlet GSC is for a lot of people who left TWI. There's no other place for people to vent their feelings, thoughts, and frustrations and have people who really understand. I also believe that those who left need to have their hunches validated. People need to know what TWI is REALLY about.
Don't be concerned about how quickly you "get over it". There are some things which are harder to get over. I've been out for 7 1/2 years. I'm over most of it for the mostpart. There are a few things which p!$$ me off from time to time when I think about it, but that's human. Everyone does get over it within their own time. If you are wacked out crazy after a few years, then I'd suggest therapy. That's the beauty of realizing you really aren't a waybot.
Nottawayfer.....very well said.
Each one of us has a unique set of experiences and vantage point from whcih we cumulate and corroborate opinions/facts/truth. For me, staying in twi after those turbulent years (1985-89) gave me time to set some things in perspective. By 1994, I found myself distancing my identity from twi.......and embracing my relationship with God. Then, with each passing year, twi's crushing legalism had become remarkably apparent.
Everyone's journey is different that's for sure. Even those who jumped into offshoots after twi have had a mixed-bag of issues and experiences to sort through....especially the CES momentus stuff and all.
Thanks for the encouragement, guys!! You all have helped me out a lot - from the time I first started questioning twi until now. Once, again, THANK YOU!
i was always always trying to "find myself" (ohmygod, i'm right here) -- getting into the way was my way of finding me -- only it just crushed me to the core and i didn't even know it
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OldSkool
Amen!
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Guest Balanced
Skyrider - I was just thinking about this the other day. I was thinking how when involved in twi, I'd go to places near HQ and people would identify me as a person with The Way. I was more than just that. Just like I'm more than just a spouse or parent.
I am a person with many different responsibilities and likes/dislikes and what I do or did or was involved with shouldn't and doesn't define me.
I don't have a bitterness toward the twi or even the "friends" that so quickly and rudely dropped me. I look at my involvement as a part of my life. I enjoy coming to GSC to get more understanding of what I learned and saw. I learned quickly not to say things while involved so now I can say them and find out I'm not the only one.
My family has moved on and we are happier than ever. My spouse and I talk through things so we can get a better understanding but don't feel as though we need to 100% agree anymore. We are our own people.
I kind of got off the subject a bit. Great topic skyrider! As OldSkool said, "Amen."
Balanced
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polar bear
Twi does want to define who you are. They invent things to keep their people busy enough not to have time to figure that their lives are being manipulated and controlled. Thank God they no longer have us in their "grip".
Great topic as always.
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skyrider
So true.
Twi wants to DEFINE 'you'.......in a COLLECTIVE 'we' unit.
All their defining terms come in plural forms.....
1) Stand with the ministry that taught you the word
2) The Zion of God
3) The true household
4) The faithful remnant
Notice, how even in the last 15 years or so.....twi has moved away from 'Christ-in-YOU' as well. All their terminology is geared to 'it takes a village' mentality. The power structure has a place for you to serve.....and its at the base of the pyramid.
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Nottawayfer
I never bought the head of the household malarkey. My husband and I are equal partners in our relationship. I like that arrangement much better!
I do try to boss my husband around once in awhile because that's just my nature!
Usually it's with driving. I tell him "Hey turn down this road." He keeps going straight. I ask "Did you hear me???" He responds: "I did. I'm not doing it." Then I can't help but laugh. I love my husband! 
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JavaJane
For the majority of my life I was defined by TWI because it was my identity. I was involved for over 20 years, from my tweens until my mid thirties... So, for me, I am now finally NOT defining myself by the twi deception. I first started posting here because I needed help, a LOT of help, to overcome twi's influence during those formative years of my life. Am I bitter? Sometimes. When I ask my husband to pray and he says he has had enough of praying, and when I sit in church and have what I know might be a hardness of heart against anyone in a position of authority within a religious organization simply because all of them are suspect of the same things twi leadership did to me and my family. And sometimes when I think about my brother who was thrown out of the house at the age of 16 and who ended up addicted to drugs, an alcoholic, and just got out of prison AGAIN... And when I think about the distance between my family members - not just physican distance, but an emotional distance caused by a lack of trust due to twi... And when I look back and realize I was capable of abandoning all of them, that I walked away and turned my back on those closest to me based on a LIE told by twi....
Yeah, I get bitter.
But other than that, I am over it... I think. Maybe... Probably not...
I talked with someone recently that I hadn't spoken to in years who was involved in twi - he said it took him as long to recover as it took him to be involved. I said, "GREAT. I still have like 17+ years to go!!!"
As far as "defining myself", for me that process has just started. I was raised in twi, and since experiences mold the person, I am in a way, "defined" by these experiences. BUT, I got out. I am raising a child WITHOUT twi. I have a successful marriage WITHOUT twi. I have a relationship with God WITHOUT twi. I have hobbies, and friends WITHOUT twi. And my family relationships are being REDEFINED WITHOUT twi.
And these are good things. Maybe at some point I will grow to the point that I no longer think about their deception, but that point may never completely come.
So, if I seem bitter, be patient. I went through hell. I hurt people. I was hurt. I know I am capable of being both the abused and the abuser. Oh well...
I'm happier now.
(And I don't mean to say the rest of you are being hard on people like me, I applaud your mental state and who you have become. Your kind has helped me immensely!!!!!!)
Now, where is that waiter??
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Nottawayfer
JJ,
Don't be concerned about how quickly you "get over it". There are some things which are harder to get over. I've been out for 7 1/2 years. I'm over most of it for the mostpart. There are a few things which p!$$ me off from time to time when I think about it, but that's human. Everyone does get over it within their own time. If you are wacked out crazy after a few years, then I'd suggest therapy. That's the beauty of realizing you really aren't a waybot.
I've been here more in the last few than I've been here in a long time. It's only because these new, interesting people popped up. Plus I believe in the outlet GSC is for a lot of people who left TWI. There's no other place for people to vent their feelings, thoughts, and frustrations and have people who really understand. I also believe that those who left need to have their hunches validated. People need to know what TWI is REALLY about.
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skyrider
Nottawayfer.....very well said.
Each one of us has a unique set of experiences and vantage point from whcih we cumulate and corroborate opinions/facts/truth. For me, staying in twi after those turbulent years (1985-89) gave me time to set some things in perspective. By 1994, I found myself distancing my identity from twi.......and embracing my relationship with God. Then, with each passing year, twi's crushing legalism had become remarkably apparent.
Everyone's journey is different that's for sure. Even those who jumped into offshoots after twi have had a mixed-bag of issues and experiences to sort through....especially the CES momentus stuff and all.
I gotta be ME.......what else can I be?
:)
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JavaJane
Thanks for the encouragement, guys!! You all have helped me out a lot - from the time I first started questioning twi until now. Once, again, THANK YOU!
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excathedra
awwwwww java you're such a good girl
i was always always trying to "find myself" (ohmygod, i'm right here) -- getting into the way was my way of finding me -- only it just crushed me to the core and i didn't even know it
i could go on and on but i start to cry :(
more later
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