IMO, things of this nature, you don't 'get over it'. You 'get through it'. And start to build positive things in your life.
yes! twi was very much full of bull excrement every time they told us to get over it. some things are simple to work through, but some things are a struggle, a battle even. while working through the damage done to me in twi I had to relive the worst times of my life so I could stop burying them where they remained a toxic infection. it was worth it. I got through it.
there really is no such thing as getting over it, but if you work through it so your mental health depends less on what happened to you in that hellhole and more on your own sense of self-worth, then you're on the right track.
I won't ever get over it. but twi doesn't scare me any more, so I'm good.
TWI used "get over it" and "renew your mind" as ways to imply that mental states and emotions were something that could be handled instantaeously by just changing your thinking... This, as in so many other ways that the "law of believing" was taught is erroneous. Things take work and time to accomplish, even to get through mental hurt.
My mom was diagnosed with PTSD after leaving twi. My husband and I both as well. Now, I can't compare what we went through to what a war veteran went through, but repeated abuses cause damage to people. And the damage takes time to heal. I would consider myself mentally scarred by what happened in twi - and I still have nightmares and what I would consider to be flashbacks to things that happened in twi. While I was there I had suicidal thoughts, was separated from my family with no contact for years and years, and thought that if I left that place that I would be killed, or that my family would suffer consequences. That is a lot of constant mental anguish to live through.
My therapist told me that I would go for long periods of time with no symptoms, and then something would trigger it again even years later. I at least know this is a possibility and will be prepared to deal with it if it happens again.
TWI used "get over it" and "renew your mind" as ways to imply that mental states and emotions were something that could be handled instantaeously by just changing your thinking... This, as in so many other ways that the "law of believing" was taught is erroneous. Things take work and time to accomplish, even to get through mental hurt.
In fact behaving in this fashion, which is what many do continually to remain in TWI, in essence just pushes the emotional trauma downstream. You can build a fantasy world for yourself where everything is beautiful, but if it is not reality then that which is repressed will come back stronger and with more force. This is how people have nervous breakdowns.
My mom was diagnosed with PTSD after leaving twi. My husband and I both as well. Now, I can't compare what we went through to what a war veteran went through, but repeated abuses cause damage to people. And the damage takes time to heal. I would consider myself mentally scarred by what happened in twi - and I still have nightmares and what I would consider to be flashbacks to things that happened in twi. While I was there I had suicidal thoughts, was separated from my family with no contact for years and years, and thought that if I left that place that I would be killed, or that my family would suffer consequences. That is a lot of constant mental anguish to live through.
I have actually discussed this topic at length with psychologist friends. Leaving TWI is very much like PTSD. The emotional trauma is very real, even if it doesn't involve the atrocities of war that veterans experience. I would almost say that the vast majority of people leaving TWI experience at least a minor form of PTSD. Recovery mentally and emotionally are elements that need specific attention. Otherwise the recovery period stretches out even longer.
My therapist told me that I would go for long periods of time with no symptoms, and then something would trigger it again even years later. I at least know this is a possibility and will be prepared to deal with it if it happens again.
I honestly probably had some of that trigger recently in some of my arguments on this forum. Sometimes things get triggered and you have emotions and you don't know why they are still there. For me I've learned some of the things that trigger me is when I feel that fellow Christians judge me and try by their words to bring me under a false spritual authority that bypasses my direct prayer life to God and tries to dicatate to me what I should do. I should just walk away and let people have their opinion. But that's what triggers do - bring up behavior that is not always rational. And yes it happens even years later.
Java Jane....ditto what you said about PTSD.....ME too.
It's amazing what it does to you. I have a terrible time with being involved with "groups" and people in spiritual authority. People who criticize and judge. Been out for 23 years and still there are moments and there are still times of triggers that can send me reeling. Greatly improved over time, but like you, I was told too that I'd probably have some sort of effect for a life time.
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potato
yes! twi was very much full of bull excrement every time they told us to get over it. some things are simple to work through, but some things are a struggle, a battle even. while working through the damage done to me in twi I had to relive the worst times of my life so I could stop burying them where they remained a toxic infection. it was worth it. I got through it.
there really is no such thing as getting over it, but if you work through it so your mental health depends less on what happened to you in that hellhole and more on your own sense of self-worth, then you're on the right track.
I won't ever get over it. but twi doesn't scare me any more, so I'm good.
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JavaJane
TWI used "get over it" and "renew your mind" as ways to imply that mental states and emotions were something that could be handled instantaeously by just changing your thinking... This, as in so many other ways that the "law of believing" was taught is erroneous. Things take work and time to accomplish, even to get through mental hurt.
My mom was diagnosed with PTSD after leaving twi. My husband and I both as well. Now, I can't compare what we went through to what a war veteran went through, but repeated abuses cause damage to people. And the damage takes time to heal. I would consider myself mentally scarred by what happened in twi - and I still have nightmares and what I would consider to be flashbacks to things that happened in twi. While I was there I had suicidal thoughts, was separated from my family with no contact for years and years, and thought that if I left that place that I would be killed, or that my family would suffer consequences. That is a lot of constant mental anguish to live through.
My therapist told me that I would go for long periods of time with no symptoms, and then something would trigger it again even years later. I at least know this is a possibility and will be prepared to deal with it if it happens again.
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chockfull
In fact behaving in this fashion, which is what many do continually to remain in TWI, in essence just pushes the emotional trauma downstream. You can build a fantasy world for yourself where everything is beautiful, but if it is not reality then that which is repressed will come back stronger and with more force. This is how people have nervous breakdowns.
I have actually discussed this topic at length with psychologist friends. Leaving TWI is very much like PTSD. The emotional trauma is very real, even if it doesn't involve the atrocities of war that veterans experience. I would almost say that the vast majority of people leaving TWI experience at least a minor form of PTSD. Recovery mentally and emotionally are elements that need specific attention. Otherwise the recovery period stretches out even longer.
I honestly probably had some of that trigger recently in some of my arguments on this forum. Sometimes things get triggered and you have emotions and you don't know why they are still there. For me I've learned some of the things that trigger me is when I feel that fellow Christians judge me and try by their words to bring me under a false spritual authority that bypasses my direct prayer life to God and tries to dicatate to me what I should do. I should just walk away and let people have their opinion. But that's what triggers do - bring up behavior that is not always rational. And yes it happens even years later.
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newlife
Java Jane....ditto what you said about PTSD.....ME too.
It's amazing what it does to you. I have a terrible time with being involved with "groups" and people in spiritual authority. People who criticize and judge. Been out for 23 years and still there are moments and there are still times of triggers that can send me reeling. Greatly improved over time, but like you, I was told too that I'd probably have some sort of effect for a life time.
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OldSkool
All this talk about triggers and such only confirms for me that I am dealing with the same things.
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JavaJane
OldSkool, after what you and yours went through, it would shock me if you DIDN'T have some form of PTSD.
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Gen-2
People like OldSkool don't get over it <grin> they just get along in spite of it... (ONLY TEASIN')
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OldSkool
You are correct. And I have learned to keep humor in the mix, so it is appreciated!
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chockfull
Triggers, what are those? [Ducks and rolls to right from mortar fire in my head - almost got me, suckas!!!! Just wait 'till we recapture Denang].
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OldSkool
ROFL! Yep, just like that.
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