It was a weapon to make us turn off our caring ability. Our empathy for other people.
But GOD gave us emotions. He could have devised humankind as some emotionless creature that just did whatever it was programmed to do. Instead, he gave us emotions - presumably knowing that they could sometimes get the better of us. Sure we control our emotions, or at least our behavior flowing from our emotions: we might feel like hitting someone, but generally, we rarely do so. We might feel so happy that we want to hug everyone, but that wouldn't be good either.
A certain level of detachment or objectivity is also good...but not to the point of stifling emotions completely.
Did not Jesus also display his emotions - joy, happiness, wellbeing, compassion - and anger, sorrow, feeling dejected, feeling rejected?
Controlling men can't cope with emotions. Can't cope with anything, really.
JJ, glad you've made it out of that emotionless place and sounds like you're making a "normal" sort of life for yourself, complete with as many emotions as you like.
Glad you hung in there! You're no the only one blind sided by this crap of being taught to not process your emotions. My son was born with health problems and it wasn't until I left that cult that I realized I was an emotional wreck. I had never honestly dealt with all I had been through. So, together with my wife, we spent months talking and "decompressing" all that was pent up inside. When I was in the way international I was afraid that if I stopped to cry, or curse my day, or express my anger, sadness, or frustration then it would be a negative confession so I tried to pretend those things should be suppressed. It took a heavy toll on me and I realized that I was slowly becoming a depressed and miserable.
I am happy to say that after leaving the way international and ditching all their bondage that we are a happy family once again. We are able to be better parents and are able to raise our son so that he can cope with life's problems instead of denying they are happening or going into loathing, self-condemnation.
You are surely not the only one who has gone through this.....I am sure others have faced the same thoughts. Sadly, some have acted on them.
I am so very glad you are here... happy being a fairly new mama! How wonderful. :) :)
Your post should do it for all current TWI. There is no more excuse. No more rationalization to be made. No more blaming the "adversary"or the victim.
Dead hearts do this to fellow human beings.....not loving, warm, caring, and alive hearts. They have no business speaking for God.....none.
Really, I don't care what kind of new and gentle spin they put on their beliefs.....it is still a denial of God, who gives life, and all He is.....and it still robs people of their humanity.
Over the top? I don't think so. Being involved in TWI has actually cost people their lives.....what a legacy.
I really do believe that the men involved in the conversations I mentioned above were good people - not in their actions, of course, but they were like me... they just wanted to do the right thing for God. We all just got who God was mixed up.
The man who told me that I would turn into a witch and/or lesbian if I left twi looked like I had hit him in the face when I told him I would commit suicide if I ever left. I really believe that he hadn't thought what he said would really hurt someone as much as he did... and that I was so accepting of his judgement. As if I somehow deserved it.
How is it that you could have abuse upon abuse piled up on you, and the whole time cling to the abuser as if your life depended upon it? It does not make sense.
I had an argument recently with an innie about how they had made me feel (ostracized, looked down upon, condemned, etc) by their behavior towards me since I left twi. I was told "I never SAID that! And because I never SAID it explicitly, how could you KNOW what I am thinking? You aren't the searcher of hearts! You can't read my mind! Only God knows what is in my heart!" Yes, it is true. I cannot read your mind. But, I have learned that ACTIONS speak much louder than words. I have learned how to have empathy. I have learned how to put myself back into your bondage, and I know the pressures put on you by those around you. I see how you have been manipulated. I see how you have been deceived.
Best of all, I KNOW what is in my heart. I KNOW that what is in my heart and my mind is MY OWN and not some pre-programmed BS that was spoon fed to me by an abusive system.
As said before, emotions were given to us by God for a reason. Sometimes that reason is just to let us know when we are being hurt so that we can get away. By having us turn off our emotions, we were just that much easier to control. It has taken two years of therapy to get me to the point I am today - two years of therapy, and a loving, supportive husband who encourages me to just SAY what I am feeling, even if I am being b!tchy at the moment for no good reason.
And OldSkool, I am right there with you! My family is so much stronger than it would have been if we had stayed in. Thank GOD my child will NEVER have to go through what I did!!
How is it that you could have abuse upon abuse piled up on you, and the whole time cling to the abuser as if your life depended upon it? It does not make sense.
It doesn't make sense but it happens all the time with victims of domestic violence. More often than not, women will refuse to press charges against abusive husbands or boyfriends.
Anyway, great OP, JavaJane. Thank you for sharing and best of luck to you. :)
I think pushing people towards suicidal thoughts should be enough of a shock to wake up any good person. Just that it has happened before should be enough to cause people to question what they are involved in. . .it gets to a point where it is pretty ridiculous.
There are woman who were actually intentionally "gaslighted" or made to think they were crazy or possessed because they resisted advances of leaders.
I am much happier and more myself than I ever was while I was in! And I like myself much more!
It was so strange to have that conversation with that innie and realize that my feelings and emotions had absolutely NO VALUE to them whatsoever, simply because they were emotions. I must have recovered somewhat in order for that to be strange! My husband keeps telling me that when he says something that upsets me I don't have to preface telling him how I feel with, "I know that what I am feeling is wrong" because it is OK to feel. I am getting a lot better with that.
While in twi, I guess I had become comfortably numb to all feelings. Probably why I had heart palpitations all the time. Too many bottled up emotions can make you pretty sick.
And what kind of "abundant life" can you have when you don't have any feelings?
And on another note, what the heck was it they taught in the Advanced Class about spiritual emotions? I guess only WC were allowed to have those. And if I remember right, you had to have your emotions completely in check in order to even know you were experiencing spiritual emotions. SO, when some poor WC emotionless zombie person went ballistic on someone, it HAD to be a SPIRITUAL emotion, right? Not just that they couldn't hold it in anymore and unloaded on the first person they could.
Hi Jane, thanks for sharing your story here~! Like you, I've been there, done that and have a few really ugly tshirts as my reward.
But as is/was the norm in TWI no one ever DID anything about it and now you can! 'Cuz you get it! You understand the exasperation and the sheer frustation and self doubt and self hate it takes one to in order to consider THAT!
These are proven cases of TWI induced suicide, before, during and after, as you understand. It's such classic bullying and mind altering, isn't it?
I especially love now that you feel your emotions and express them! Especially as strong women, we are but chastised and ridiculed and further attempts are made to push us even further into submission and control when we express those emotions. People give up, run away or ignore such behavior.
It's ok to get angry! It's healthy even and it's so much more freeing to get that stuff outa there! Talking about it and even your child like temper tantrums are healthy and normal and good; I'm thriled you get to do that. You're one of the very fortunate ones in that regard.
We know that when a child is tipping over it's best to just let them tip and get it out of their system; it works so much better than forcing them into some column of our own making and expecting them to adhere to it so that WE don't have to deal.
It still works for adults and when anyone tells us we shouldn't, can't, ought not express ourselves, even in anger ( maybe more anger is actually needed) then they are more and more like TWI themselves in their desire to system step another into compliance.
Our culture says, especially to women, "don't fight, don't yell, don't argue" so we stay frustrated and angry and impacted with emotions that will come out somewhere, that's a surety. For some reason it's not ladylike or some goofyshi+ if we express "hey!" and then follow that with the "what" part.
I had an argument recently with an innie about how they had made me feel (ostracized, looked down upon, condemned, etc) by their behavior towards me since I left twi. I was told "I never SAID that! And because I never SAID it explicitly, how could you KNOW what I am thinking? You aren't the searcher of hearts! You can't read my mind! Only God knows what is in my heart!" Yes, it is true. I cannot read your mind. But, I have learned that ACTIONS speak much louder than words. I have learned how to have empathy. I have learned how to put myself back into your bondage, and I know the pressures put on you by those around you. I see how you have been manipulated. I see how you have been deceived.
IMO you can measure nose angle. At 90 degrees you have a normal person. As it becomes elevated above 120 degrees, that's average TWI innie height :-)
When they kicked people out of the corps or fellow laborers in the middle of the night and told them to clear the state line before the sun came up, did they ever stop to think about what sort of consequences might ensue? Did they ever stop to think what sort of damage they could do by telling a suicidal schizophrenic he was born of the wrong seed? I can't know for certain because I don't know what their thoughts were. At the very least, I would say they are culpable for the collateral damage that resulted from their barbaric handling of the fragile human psyche.
how arrogant they were to think they had the right to force anyone to cross a state line. the only legal right TWI had was to order a person off privately-held property, and if someone was a tenant with any kind of contract it's likely they broke a dozen laws every time they did that.
Yeah. I remember Limb Coordinators telling people to leave the state, or telling people they couldn't come into the state or whatever. I think maybe a federal judge might be able to tell people that in certain cases and even he's bound by legalities. I believe the thinking was that Wayfers are the only true believers and the earth belongs to them. So they believe they have the authority to tell people stuff like that. I also remember sitting in leader's meetings and listening to a branch, or territory leader say something like, "Yeah, I ran his sorry foot out of town". Talking like he's some kind of spiritual big shot. Pathetic really.
I believe the thinking was that Wayfers are the only true believers and the earth belongs to them. So they believe they have the authority to tell people stuff like that.
When they kicked people out of the corps or fellow laborers in the middle of the night and told them to clear the state line before the sun came up, did they ever stop to think about what sort of consequences might ensue? Did they ever stop to think what sort of damage they could do by telling a suicidal schizophrenic he was born of the wrong seed? I can't know for certain because I don't know what their thoughts were. At the very least, I would say they are culpable for the collateral damage that resulted from their barbaric handling of the fragile human psyche.
What sort of consequences DID ensue? Seriously, they went about their business pretty much unchallenged, which in and of itself is empowering. There was, IMO, a strong sense of creating a "master race" of "believers" and not much tolerance for those who wouldn't make the cut - like say a schizophrenic. People outside of the mindset were "those people" pretty much not worthy of life, so who gives a sh!t about them?
Ok, I am putting my Way-Brain glasses on again so that I can see things like they do
schitzophrenia = devil spirit
suicide = devil spirit
any mental disorder = devil spirit
anyone who isn't sold out to twi = possessed by devil spirit
And we are supposed to "keep the household clean"....
And we have the authority to cast out devil spirits....
And the earth was created for believers, not unbelievers.
And, to be loving, you need to confront people - give them a chance to get back in alignment and harmony so that they can see the error of their ways.
So, throwing people out is the loving thing to do. AND we have the authority to do it because God backs us up. AND those people with devil spirits would have committed suicide anyway. Because those people had free will, right? Free will to be controlled by the devil spirits. So it's all on them. We were just being loving.
I believe the thinking was that Wayfers are the only true believers and the earth belongs to them. So they believe they have the authority to tell people stuff like that.
This authority thing really is key to understanding TWI and the influence it had over us. TWI's authority is an illusion. It is a false authority. They say their authority is from God and that going against it will cause people to suffer consequences.
But they lie. People moving beyond that mind control do NOT suffer consequences. They are better off. When putting this all together I came to the conclusion that people of this nature have no more authority over my life than I allow them to have. And I do not want to allow people with poor morals operating sketchy Christian ethics who absolutely do not have my best interests in mind to have that kind of authority over my life. So I decided that I could no longer permit them to have that authority over myself and my loved ones. And although that transition hasn't been easy, my life has gotten a little better every day since. I'm taking back my life one day at a time. God is restoring to me the years the worms have eaten (Joel 2:25).
Yes, they pretend they have the authority... but we have the authority over our own lives. I used to think in the back of my head that every time I did something the leadership would think was wrong that I would end up getting caught because God would give them revelation on my activities.
It sounds ridiculous, but maybe I believed it because I became involved at a really young age.... or maybe I really was that stupid. Or both.
I started to realize otherwise when my girlfriends and I were told that 2x2 was not good enough if we were going to be out after midnight, or at a bar. We were required by leadership to go out in groups of three, or we had to have one of the believer men with us. Or we could "end up dead in a dumpster." Well, trying to coordinate getting all three of us to go out at the same time was ridiculous, and the single twi guys were, um... well.... they all had mullets. Or were missing teeth, or had B.O. and it sorta cramped our style as party girls to be seen with these freaks. So, one of us girls (strangely enough, the only one who is still IN) had a moment of genis and said, "this is BS. I understand 2x2, but 3x3 is stupid, and I don't see it in the Word. So, we'll go out and we just won't tell anyone." So we did. And God never told them we were doing anything!
BUT, my final freeing moment when I knew God wasn't going to tattle on me to anyone in twi (a few months before we left) was when my husband and his family took me to a CASINO and WE GAMBLED... and WE WON. And we spent the money and NOTHING BAD HAPPENED. Until this point, I actually had believed that any money won in gambling would have devil spirits attached to it. (Seriously. Man, I was dumb!!) Now I gamble whenever I want. I like it. And sometimes I even buy lottery tickets. Yup. Free at last, free at last.
Hon, you weren't "dumb" - you were innocent and maybe naieve, but what would you expect, you were raised in a cult! I'm so glad you're free to enjoy life!
"I used to think in the back of my head that every time I did something the leadership would think was wrong that I would end up getting caught because God would give them revelation on my activities."
"Until this point, I actually had believed that any money won in gambling would have devil spirits attached to it."
(I think a lot of us shared those exact sentiments.)
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Tzaia
I am so sorry.
I don't know if all of this was deliberate, or if it was a result of people simply not thinking. I would like to hope it was the latter.
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Twinky
It was a weapon to make us turn off our caring ability. Our empathy for other people.
But GOD gave us emotions. He could have devised humankind as some emotionless creature that just did whatever it was programmed to do. Instead, he gave us emotions - presumably knowing that they could sometimes get the better of us. Sure we control our emotions, or at least our behavior flowing from our emotions: we might feel like hitting someone, but generally, we rarely do so. We might feel so happy that we want to hug everyone, but that wouldn't be good either.
A certain level of detachment or objectivity is also good...but not to the point of stifling emotions completely.
Did not Jesus also display his emotions - joy, happiness, wellbeing, compassion - and anger, sorrow, feeling dejected, feeling rejected?
Controlling men can't cope with emotions. Can't cope with anything, really.
JJ, glad you've made it out of that emotionless place and sounds like you're making a "normal" sort of life for yourself, complete with as many emotions as you like.
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OldSkool
Glad you hung in there! You're no the only one blind sided by this crap of being taught to not process your emotions. My son was born with health problems and it wasn't until I left that cult that I realized I was an emotional wreck. I had never honestly dealt with all I had been through. So, together with my wife, we spent months talking and "decompressing" all that was pent up inside. When I was in the way international I was afraid that if I stopped to cry, or curse my day, or express my anger, sadness, or frustration then it would be a negative confession so I tried to pretend those things should be suppressed. It took a heavy toll on me and I realized that I was slowly becoming a depressed and miserable.
I am happy to say that after leaving the way international and ditching all their bondage that we are a happy family once again. We are able to be better parents and are able to raise our son so that he can cope with life's problems instead of denying they are happening or going into loathing, self-condemnation.
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geisha779
You are surely not the only one who has gone through this.....I am sure others have faced the same thoughts. Sadly, some have acted on them.
I am so very glad you are here... happy being a fairly new mama! How wonderful. :) :)
Your post should do it for all current TWI. There is no more excuse. No more rationalization to be made. No more blaming the "adversary"or the victim.
Dead hearts do this to fellow human beings.....not loving, warm, caring, and alive hearts. They have no business speaking for God.....none.
Really, I don't care what kind of new and gentle spin they put on their beliefs.....it is still a denial of God, who gives life, and all He is.....and it still robs people of their humanity.
Over the top? I don't think so. Being involved in TWI has actually cost people their lives.....what a legacy.
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JavaJane
I really do believe that the men involved in the conversations I mentioned above were good people - not in their actions, of course, but they were like me... they just wanted to do the right thing for God. We all just got who God was mixed up.
The man who told me that I would turn into a witch and/or lesbian if I left twi looked like I had hit him in the face when I told him I would commit suicide if I ever left. I really believe that he hadn't thought what he said would really hurt someone as much as he did... and that I was so accepting of his judgement. As if I somehow deserved it.
How is it that you could have abuse upon abuse piled up on you, and the whole time cling to the abuser as if your life depended upon it? It does not make sense.
I had an argument recently with an innie about how they had made me feel (ostracized, looked down upon, condemned, etc) by their behavior towards me since I left twi. I was told "I never SAID that! And because I never SAID it explicitly, how could you KNOW what I am thinking? You aren't the searcher of hearts! You can't read my mind! Only God knows what is in my heart!" Yes, it is true. I cannot read your mind. But, I have learned that ACTIONS speak much louder than words. I have learned how to have empathy. I have learned how to put myself back into your bondage, and I know the pressures put on you by those around you. I see how you have been manipulated. I see how you have been deceived.
Best of all, I KNOW what is in my heart. I KNOW that what is in my heart and my mind is MY OWN and not some pre-programmed BS that was spoon fed to me by an abusive system.
As said before, emotions were given to us by God for a reason. Sometimes that reason is just to let us know when we are being hurt so that we can get away. By having us turn off our emotions, we were just that much easier to control. It has taken two years of therapy to get me to the point I am today - two years of therapy, and a loving, supportive husband who encourages me to just SAY what I am feeling, even if I am being b!tchy at the moment for no good reason.
And OldSkool, I am right there with you! My family is so much stronger than it would have been if we had stayed in. Thank GOD my child will NEVER have to go through what I did!!
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OldSkool
Amen.
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soul searcher
It doesn't make sense but it happens all the time with victims of domestic violence. More often than not, women will refuse to press charges against abusive husbands or boyfriends.
Anyway, great OP, JavaJane. Thank you for sharing and best of luck to you. :)
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geisha779
I think pushing people towards suicidal thoughts should be enough of a shock to wake up any good person. Just that it has happened before should be enough to cause people to question what they are involved in. . .it gets to a point where it is pretty ridiculous.
There are woman who were actually intentionally "gaslighted" or made to think they were crazy or possessed because they resisted advances of leaders.
If all this isn't evil...I don't know what is.
Sure confuses my definition of good.
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JeffSjo
I know you weren't the only one pushed to the brink. I've been considering those that took it one step farther than you did this weekend Java.
I am glad you are here to share with us. :)
Renewed mind!?
Sound mind!?
It's more like The Way pushed people to the brink of death and/or insanity by it's doctrine.
Know them by their fruit!
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JavaJane
Thank you, soulsearcher and JeffSjo!
I am much happier and more myself than I ever was while I was in! And I like myself much more!
It was so strange to have that conversation with that innie and realize that my feelings and emotions had absolutely NO VALUE to them whatsoever, simply because they were emotions. I must have recovered somewhat in order for that to be strange! My husband keeps telling me that when he says something that upsets me I don't have to preface telling him how I feel with, "I know that what I am feeling is wrong" because it is OK to feel. I am getting a lot better with that.
While in twi, I guess I had become comfortably numb to all feelings. Probably why I had heart palpitations all the time. Too many bottled up emotions can make you pretty sick.
And what kind of "abundant life" can you have when you don't have any feelings?
And on another note, what the heck was it they taught in the Advanced Class about spiritual emotions? I guess only WC were allowed to have those. And if I remember right, you had to have your emotions completely in check in order to even know you were experiencing spiritual emotions. SO, when some poor WC emotionless zombie person went ballistic on someone, it HAD to be a SPIRITUAL emotion, right? Not just that they couldn't hold it in anymore and unloaded on the first person they could.
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Shellon
Hi Jane, thanks for sharing your story here~! Like you, I've been there, done that and have a few really ugly tshirts as my reward.
But as is/was the norm in TWI no one ever DID anything about it and now you can! 'Cuz you get it! You understand the exasperation and the sheer frustation and self doubt and self hate it takes one to in order to consider THAT!
These are proven cases of TWI induced suicide, before, during and after, as you understand. It's such classic bullying and mind altering, isn't it?
I especially love now that you feel your emotions and express them! Especially as strong women, we are but chastised and ridiculed and further attempts are made to push us even further into submission and control when we express those emotions. People give up, run away or ignore such behavior.
It's ok to get angry! It's healthy even and it's so much more freeing to get that stuff outa there! Talking about it and even your child like temper tantrums are healthy and normal and good; I'm thriled you get to do that. You're one of the very fortunate ones in that regard.
We know that when a child is tipping over it's best to just let them tip and get it out of their system; it works so much better than forcing them into some column of our own making and expecting them to adhere to it so that WE don't have to deal.
It still works for adults and when anyone tells us we shouldn't, can't, ought not express ourselves, even in anger ( maybe more anger is actually needed) then they are more and more like TWI themselves in their desire to system step another into compliance.
Our culture says, especially to women, "don't fight, don't yell, don't argue" so we stay frustrated and angry and impacted with emotions that will come out somewhere, that's a surety. For some reason it's not ladylike or some goofyshi+ if we express "hey!" and then follow that with the "what" part.
Sadness.
I applaud you and address you on behalf of women
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chockfull
IMO you can measure nose angle. At 90 degrees you have a normal person. As it becomes elevated above 120 degrees, that's average TWI innie height :-)
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Bolshevik
ah, you're unleashing your spuritual anger . . .
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waysider
When they kicked people out of the corps or fellow laborers in the middle of the night and told them to clear the state line before the sun came up, did they ever stop to think about what sort of consequences might ensue? Did they ever stop to think what sort of damage they could do by telling a suicidal schizophrenic he was born of the wrong seed? I can't know for certain because I don't know what their thoughts were. At the very least, I would say they are culpable for the collateral damage that resulted from their barbaric handling of the fragile human psyche.
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potato
how arrogant they were to think they had the right to force anyone to cross a state line. the only legal right TWI had was to order a person off privately-held property, and if someone was a tenant with any kind of contract it's likely they broke a dozen laws every time they did that.
so, so glad I'm out.
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Broken Arrow
Yeah. I remember Limb Coordinators telling people to leave the state, or telling people they couldn't come into the state or whatever. I think maybe a federal judge might be able to tell people that in certain cases and even he's bound by legalities. I believe the thinking was that Wayfers are the only true believers and the earth belongs to them. So they believe they have the authority to tell people stuff like that. I also remember sitting in leader's meetings and listening to a branch, or territory leader say something like, "Yeah, I ran his sorry foot out of town". Talking like he's some kind of spiritual big shot. Pathetic really.
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waysider
Bingo!
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Tzaia
What sort of consequences DID ensue? Seriously, they went about their business pretty much unchallenged, which in and of itself is empowering. There was, IMO, a strong sense of creating a "master race" of "believers" and not much tolerance for those who wouldn't make the cut - like say a schizophrenic. People outside of the mindset were "those people" pretty much not worthy of life, so who gives a sh!t about them?
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JavaJane
schitzophrenia =
devil spirit
suicide =
devil spirit
any mental disorder =
devil spirit
anyone who isn't sold out to twi =
possessed by devil spirit
And we are supposed to "keep the household clean"....
And we have the authority to cast out devil spirits....
And the earth was created for believers, not unbelievers.
And, to be loving, you need to confront people - give them a chance to get back in alignment and harmony so that they can see the error of their ways.
So, throwing people out is the loving thing to do. AND we have the authority to do it because God backs us up. AND those people with devil spirits would have committed suicide anyway. Because those people had free will, right? Free will to be controlled by the devil spirits. So it's all on them. We were just being loving.
Makes sense to me!
(THANK GOD I AM OUT!)
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chockfull
This authority thing really is key to understanding TWI and the influence it had over us. TWI's authority is an illusion. It is a false authority. They say their authority is from God and that going against it will cause people to suffer consequences.
But they lie. People moving beyond that mind control do NOT suffer consequences. They are better off. When putting this all together I came to the conclusion that people of this nature have no more authority over my life than I allow them to have. And I do not want to allow people with poor morals operating sketchy Christian ethics who absolutely do not have my best interests in mind to have that kind of authority over my life. So I decided that I could no longer permit them to have that authority over myself and my loved ones. And although that transition hasn't been easy, my life has gotten a little better every day since. I'm taking back my life one day at a time. God is restoring to me the years the worms have eaten (Joel 2:25).
Edited by chockfullLink to comment
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JavaJane
Yes, they pretend they have the authority... but we have the authority over our own lives. I used to think in the back of my head that every time I did something the leadership would think was wrong that I would end up getting caught because God would give them revelation on my activities.
It sounds ridiculous, but maybe I believed it because I became involved at a really young age.... or maybe I really was that stupid. Or both.
I started to realize otherwise when my girlfriends and I were told that 2x2 was not good enough if we were going to be out after midnight, or at a bar. We were required by leadership to go out in groups of three, or we had to have one of the believer men with us. Or we could "end up dead in a dumpster." Well, trying to coordinate getting all three of us to go out at the same time was ridiculous, and the single twi guys were, um... well.... they all had mullets. Or were missing teeth, or had B.O. and it sorta cramped our style as party girls to be seen with these freaks. So, one of us girls (strangely enough, the only one who is still IN) had a moment of genis and said, "this is BS. I understand 2x2, but 3x3 is stupid, and I don't see it in the Word. So, we'll go out and we just won't tell anyone." So we did. And God never told them we were doing anything!
BUT, my final freeing moment when I knew God wasn't going to tattle on me to anyone in twi (a few months before we left) was when my husband and his family took me to a CASINO and WE GAMBLED... and WE WON. And we spent the money and NOTHING BAD HAPPENED. Until this point, I actually had believed that any money won in gambling would have devil spirits attached to it. (Seriously. Man, I was dumb!!) Now I gamble whenever I want. I like it. And sometimes I even buy lottery tickets. Yup. Free at last, free at last.
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bowtwi
Hon, you weren't "dumb" - you were innocent and maybe naieve, but what would you expect, you were raised in a cult! I'm so glad you're free to enjoy life!
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waysider
JJ said:
"I used to think in the back of my head that every time I did something the leadership would think was wrong that I would end up getting caught because God would give them revelation on my activities."
"Until this point, I actually had believed that any money won in gambling would have devil spirits attached to it."
(I think a lot of us shared those exact sentiments.)
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OldSkool
Well, we were sure indoctrinated to believe that garbage.
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